We got to the school, and I was impressed with the school staff, the building and also what they had to offer Noah in terms of being in the gifted and talented program. I truly think that he had visions of being in some hot trailer out on the mesa somewhere near a shanty town of some sort. Not true. It was a very nice school.

As I write this, Noah is busy getting ready to go. Today will be an “off day” for him and many other new students who will be sitting in the guidance counselor’s office awaiting their schedule. Noah’s biggest fear was being in classes that don’t challenge him since he is an advanced student, excelling in every class he takes. The guidance counselor was able to relieve those fears when she told him that she would place him in pre-AP courses. I know that he felt better about that.

I’ll miss having him here during the day! He is such a great kid. While many parents celebrate the first day of school because their kids drove them crazy all summer, I’ll be singing a dirge.

*just a little side note…

In the pictures I posted of Noah, you can see all the big ass green tumble weeds. He and my husband have been busy removing all of them. Tumble weeds set seed with their prickly seed getting into everything. As those seeds fall to the ground, we pick them up on the bottom of our shoes and actually end up tracking them into the house! If you’ve never had one of these things stuck in your foot, I can liken it to stepping on a sharp tack! The secret is to remove them before they set seed, and hopefully each year the amount of tumble weeds decrease.

I see such a restlessness in others and I often wonder why they can’t sit still. By “others” I just mean people that I may see out on the street, in a blog or in the news. (This restlessness I see has nothing to do with those whom I may be intimately involved, like my children, husband or close friends.)  It’s like these people are so tightly bound inside that they can’t be free enough to just be still. To sit and appreciate their lives or those around them. It’s a restless malice and a need to blame everyone around them. There is a lack of contentment that causes them to want more and more from others. Whether its material goods, even though they have more than enough, or emotional demands that leave others feeling less than perfect. Why is there such ugliness and malcontent? So much anger covered over with a smile and a wicked deed made to look innocent and pure? Most don’t even know why they do it, but its like a drug for which they are hopelessly addicted. Malcontent. Anger. Deception. Placing blame on others. “My life is so horrible because so and so hurt me and I can’t get over it.” Let me tell you a little bit about that statement made by people the world over. Even I have fallen victim to such thoughts and actions in the past, and what I’ve learned is that such statements are merely an excuse for bad behavior and a lack of accountability. If a person would like to blame their hangups on past hurts, and then direct misplaced anger on an innocent person, all they need to say is “I can’t help it, I was hurt in the past and I have a hard time trusting others now.” What a crock of bullshit! Anytime such a statement is made they are not only lying to themselves but to everyone around them. They will also say “I can’t forgive so and so for what they did to me.” Really? You can’t forgive? You want to be forgiven if another was offended by something you did, but you can’t forgive? No…that’s the diving board from which a person takes a plunge off into the deep end of bad behavior and treating others like shit. “I can’t forgive someone who hurt me ten years ago, so I’m going to treat this totally new person in my life like shit because of it.” That makes no sense at all. It is nothing more than a way to excuse and justify your bad form.

It should be so crystal clear that such people who think they can get off the hook by stating “I can’t help being this way because I’ve been so hurt in the past” that these people are toxic human beings, incapable of true love or compassion. Narcissistic people are never truly concerned about those around them, just how everything is going to affect them personally. Even upon reading this blog entry, I’m sure that there will be those who do think and act with malcontent who will actually believe that I have written this with them in mind. Like it is a personal attack. Nope…not at all, I’m just here to say that its not so hidden and you can’t get off the hook so easily when it comes to your behavior.

These malcontents are not victims, but perpetrators who cannot seem to break the cycle of hurting others. Even though they know what it’s like to be hurt, they continue to hurt others ruthlessly. It’s an underhanded sneaky kind of ruthlessness usually covered over with some “good deed.” Why not just be forthrightly cruel so the real victim can make a choice as to whether they want to continue to be in relationship? The reason is, if a person can be underhanded and cover their tracks, when another figures out what they are doing, that perpetrator can say “how can you say such things after all I’ve done for you! What’s wrong with you? You are ungrateful, mean, and all I’m trying to do is love you.” Yeah, that sounds like love right?

So what’s the M.O. of these people? Their reputation is above all the most important thing. They need to look some what important yet act like they don’t care what others think. They are often involved in philanthropy of some sort, but will not truly give to their own families. They are kinder to strangers and those in need rather than those around them. They are always on the go, always moving around and looking like they are so busy. They make statements like “I don’t do anything for approval” or “I just want to reach out and help all the little children in the world” while not attending to their own children. Status is important, and acquiring things is extremely important. These people not only collect “things” but also other people. They look generous but they are very greedy. Nothing is ever given as a real gift, but has an emotional payment attached. They will use the word “misunderstanding” a lot, and nit pick at other people’s tiny imperfections.

How does a perpetrator free him or herself from the bonds of such sadistic behavior? They must forgive others and themselves. Forgiveness actually has nothing to do with letting the offending person off the hook. It is about freeing yourself from need to hate, to be angry, to be hurt and lead an unproductive life. Life is so precious, and shouldn’t be consumed with an unforgiving nature. Being unforgiving ages a person beyond their years, and it takes its toll on everyone around them. Forgiveness is freedom in disguise and it is the secret to contentment and enjoyment of others around us.

Some believe that they can’t forgive. What happened to them in the past was so horrible that forgiveness is not an option. Forgiveness is the only option if you ever want to find true peace, love, contentment and happiness.

Give forgiveness a chance.

Our family has dreams of starting a homestead…that much is clear, but where? Where do we settle down? We found some land out in the Parajito Mesa and we just fell in love with it. There’s a catch though. The property is landlocked! When we called the realtor back to tell her we were interested, she told me this:

“You can purchase the land, but you can’t live on it legally.” Huh? “Why?” I asked. She stated that the Parajito Mesa is a part of a land scam from many years ago, and the developer never mapped out the plots of land correctly or put in the necessary roads. Basically all of the Parajito land is private, and in order for us to purchase a plot of land, we would need to create access. But from where? There are no legal easements and no legal street address. We would have to plow a road right through someone’s property to access ours. Obviously that isn’t a great idea, nor is it good for having a decent relationship with our neighbors.

The Parajito Mesa is home to about 400 families. As I did some research on it, what I found was heartbreaking. It made me actually want to move there despite the fact that it is illegal. Would we put our family at risk by doing that? Nope. So I had to think of a different way. If we were to live out there, we wouldn’t be able to get mail, be able give a legal change of address, update information on drivers license or other important documents and my grand daughter wouldn’t be able to get her much needed Medicaid. So why do I want to be out there so bad? For me, it has to do with three things I see…the disenfranchised, social justice and environmental justice. These three things are huge, and as time goes by, dreams can become diminished and finally replaced with despair. Does it have to be that way though? It seems as though they are forgotten and left out there to just exist or die. I’m unsure why the burden in my heart is so heavy for these families, but it is there none the less. I guess my thought is that the people on Parajito Mesa have an opportunity to make their own homesteads if they wanted. I believe that any family that is willing to make their lives better should have access to the tools and knowledge that would make that life an actual reality.

What can we do? How can we help? I believe that if we were to purchase a house with some land near the Parajito Mesa, we could begin to open up our home to those who would seek something more for their families. As we build our homestead in that region, others who are interested could come along side of us, learning the principles of water harvesting, earthworks and permaculture and bring that back to their own land and begin incorporating those techniques and principles. I don’t have any visions of grandeur, just a simple desire to help those who want help.

Most of the families out there are on ten acres of land each. How much food can grow on ten acres? I say that rhetorically, because even an 1/8 of an acre can be intensely gardened to produce thousands of pounds of food per year. They each have way more than an 1/8 of an acre which makes it possible to grow many different kinds of fruit trees, acres to grow grains, agave, and so many other types of fruits and veggies. Is the lack of water the problem? If they are conventional farmers, yes. But I believe if they begin to understand how earthworks and water harvesting principles work, they will be able to actually cultivate their land, build their soil and create something absolutely stunning. They are worth it, don’t you think?

If there are any permaculturalists in the area looking for a worthy cause to donate your time and talent, you can contact me by filling out the form on my Contact page. I would love to hear from you.

Here is a video I found on youtube about the Parajito Mesa:

Not getting any better on the steriods, I saw my primary physician and he listened to my lungs. “Yup, you have pneumonia” he said, and he prescribed me the proper antibiotics as well as more Advair and also Singulair. During that time he also ran some blood work on me, and my thyroid came back low.

Since then, the antibiotics have done there job, and the medication I’m on for hypothyroid is really helping to get me back on track. I don’t feel like an old woman any more, and I feel my brain starting to function as it used to. I’m a little more sharp, a little more sassy and I look forward to the day when everything goes back to normal for me. I know recovering from pneumonia takes a while, but so does having a hypothyroid. I’m taking it day by day and moment by moment. The best part of it all is that the depression is totally gone. I beat myself up for a while there wondering why I couldn’t snap out of the funk I was in. I was never the type of person to become depressed or beat myself up emotionally. I’m glad those chains have been broken, and that the little butterfly gland known as my thyroid is starting to get the help it needs!

Bald Beauty of the Day

I thought I might amuse you all this holiday season with a few other JibJab creations…ENJOY!

Oh, and one more because I LOVE Weird AL!

Have a very safe and awesome Holiday!

When we go out there is always a set of eyes on Simmi. Whether it is me, Dom or one of my kids, someone is always watching. We arrived at my son’s appointment and Simmi was running around being her cute self. My son Noah was faithfully keeping an eye on her as I filled out the paperwork for his visit. I was unprepared for the events that transpired shortly before Noah went in to the examining room. You see, I let my guard down. Whenever we enter a store or anywhere unfamiliar, I always scan the place with my eyes looking for that “thing” that could cause Simmi harm or death. I didn’t scan the doctor’s office. We walked into that office, I got the paperwork and just started writing. If it wasn’t for Noah’s loving attention to detail, our situation may be quite different. Neither Noah nor myself noticed that there was a vending machine located in the corner of the waiting room. It was the kind that dispenses candy when you put in a quarter, you turn the lever and grab the candy by the handful. This thing was filled with three different types of candy, one of which was Peanut M&M’s. Simone had wandered over to that machine which had a few M&M’s sitting in the tray just begging to be picked up and tasted! Who was she to argue with the small roundish brightly colored object? She’s never even seen a Peanut M&M before. Noah had turned around for just a second to look my way and when he turned back to watch Simmi, he noticed that she had something brightly colored in her hand AND she was just about to put it in her mouth. He ran across the room as fast as he could and his quick movements caused me to look up to see what was going on. I looked on in horror as he removed the peanut M&M from her hand and threw it in the garbage. At that point I quickly got up and started to walk across the waiting room…but this little toddler of mine was quick! Before I even got to her, she spotted another M&M on the floor and picked that one up too! I was in panic mode. Both times she picked up the candy with her left hand, so I grabbed her and held on to her left hand so she wouldn’t touch any part of her body or put her hand in her mouth. Now the receptionists were staring at us trying to make heads or tails of the events unfolding before their eyes. I rattled off to them all her food allergies and asked for the bathroom so I could wash her hands, but when I got into the bathroom, there was a pump container filled with liquid soap. Still holding her and now also trying to read the ingredients on the back of the soap container, one word stood out in the ingredients “Cocamidopropyl betaine” which comes from Coconut oil. Normally we wouldn’t be concerned with this product since she used to eat quite a bit of coconut oil, but after she had a violent reaction to coconut oil last weekend and because she is now highly allergic to tree nuts, I could not expose her to the soap! All of this was happening so fast that I wonder how I was even able to think properly. I quickly came out of the bathroom and asked Noah to get her wipes out of the diaper bag. I must have used five wipes just on her one hand. Was I over reacting? I had regret racing through my heart, and I was inwardly chastising myself for ever letting down my guard. I wiped off her hands…and mind you, this is all taking place in a matter of three minutes (it felt like an hour!) and all the sudden out comes the welts. She starts scratching her left hand and now she has a bright red rash traveling up her hand and arm. I alert the receptionist that I need Benadryl and I’m kicking myself in the pants now for NOT putting it in her diaper bag the one time we needed it most! Does the receptionist bring me benadryl? NOPE, she brings me cortisone because they don’t have any Benadryl available. I could have gotten mad at her, after all it is a doctor’s office…but I was super angry at myself for not taking the proper precautions in the first place. All I could do was hope that it was just a rash that she would get and stay armed with Epi-pen in hand. The rash traveled up her arm and before the end of ten minutes she was covered from head to toe in a raised red rash. All I could do was look at her like she was a bizarre science experiment. I felt helpless and so unbelievably guilty. We left the doctor’s office, I drove Noah to school and when we got home Simmi ran straight for her room saying “ba ba” “ba ba”. I tried to give her Benadryl but of course she is totally freaking out and screaming if I try to get it into her. It spills all over the place with only a very small amount actually swallowed. She fell asleep in less than five minutes and I sat in the dining room with the monitor turned up as high as it would go just so I could listen to her breathing. Simmi was so exhausted she slept from 11:30am to 4:30pm. I sat with the “shouda, coulda, woulda’s” running through my head.

After she awoke from her long nap, I went in to examine her body and the rash was still there, but so where a few other things that I haven’t seen since she had a severe reaction last year…purple little spots on her chest which happens when she has a severe allergic reaction. She’s OK now, but all that day and into the night Dom and I sat there staring at each other, reminded of just how serious her allergies are. We started going over action plans again, discussing the new things that can’t be brought into the house like Duralogs for the fireplace (they contain nut shells), or real pine wood because of her allergy to pine. It feels like our world is closing in around us as we must continue to do things that will safe guard her well being. Our home has now become completely food allergen free as well. We do not bring anything into the house that contains peanuts (that was always a rule), wheat, milk, soy, eggs or tree nuts. At her allergy appointment when we got the results back from her RAST, we realized that there is a good possibility that even cooking foods that contain the things she is allergic to, could be breathed in by her and caused her levels to increase to an alarmingly high level.

With her speech and vision problems complicating things more, we are hopeful that in time she will be able to communicate with us and let us know when she is starting to feel some sort of reaction coming. All I can do at this point is learn from that experience and always stay on guard and alert without making her feel like the world is a dangerous and unsafe place to live in.

Here are some photos I took of her after her first rash from our dog. Three days after those photos were taken, the outer skin on her nipples started to fall off:

Before I talk about my hair woes, I wanted to put a picture up I created of me and Eric. I am a HUGE True Blood fan, and I’m really mad that HBO has been keeping me in suspense since I missed the last three episodes of the second season! It feels like its taking forever for them to just get through that first season of reruns. Anyway, Eric is one of my favorite characters from the show and I am posting this picture for my own absolute enjoyment. LOL

OK, Over the last month my hair loss has seemed to go into remission again. I say that with hesitation because it typically takes about six months to know for sure a person with alopecia is in remission. After keeping the swamp cooler off for three months, my circled patches started to grow back in and my hair started to fill out. Its coming in quite nicely again, with very little permanent loss. After shaving it off about three months ago, I had it in my mind to never try and grow my hair out again. It will never look or feel the same as it used to and it would be necessary for me to get some sort of hair system to make my hair look semi normal. I’m not into hair systems or toppers, and I only wanted to get a wig for days that I felt like mixing it up a bit. So why am I growing it back this time around? Well, about a month ago my scalp started hurting very bad. As I’d bic it, it felt like the razor was dulling with each stroke against the scalp. By the time I’d be done shaving it, my head felt like it was on fire and I’d end up nicking my scalp pretty bad. I don’t need any new interesting designs on my beautiful bald head due to razor scars! So I laid off the razor for awhile. As November came and went, it perplexed me as to why my razor would dull so bad and my head hurt like a million needles were being pierced through it.

One of the lovely side affects for some individuals living with Alopecia Areata (in its many forms) is the possibility of growing what looks like translucent hairs. To the ‘lucky’ people that have to deal with this strange phenomenon it is almost surreal to view. Guess who has these hairs growing in? Yup, yours truly. It isn’t a pleasant experience for me to feel them coming through my scalp, nor is it any comfort to feel them on my head. You see, they are like hard plastic strands of see-through hair. Ever hear of see-through hair? They shimmer when light is cast on them…they feel like freshly laid astro turf! There is nothing soft or pleasing, feeling hair you can’t even see. And these rogue hairs are dangerous too! I’d like to share an unbelievably true story that takes place in my bedroom just a few short weeks ago:

Picture this…it’s nightfall and all is well in our house. I settle into bed and Dom comes in the room and is walking around barefoot. All of the sudden, he starts to limp. “Ouch!” He exclaims as he makes his way over to the light so that he may better view the “thing” that has pierced his foot. He looks but doesn’t see anything. Then he says to me “Can you look to see what’s stuck in the bottom of my foot? I think there’s glass in there!” He limps over to me and puts his foot up on my lap. I look and look, and at first I didn’t see anything. I moved his foot closer to the light and I said “Yes! You do have something in your foot.” It was glass like in appearance but thin. I reached to pull it out, and I realized that it was one of those damn rogue translucent hairs! Oh-My-God! It went half way into his foot. I pulled it out and said “Its one of my HAIRS!” He said “No!” and I gave it to him so he could see for himself. My translucent hair is like shards of glass piercing my lover’s foot. How bizarre is that? Now imagine if my hair can do that to the tough underside of a man’s foot, what is it doing to my scalp?

At that point I realized why the blade was dulling on my razor so quickly too. You try shaving something that feels like thick hard plastic strands and see how far you get! The thickness of these hairs is also not the same as my regular hair…its thicker! I’ll be laying off the razor for a while until I don’t have any more pain, but I’m going to have to find either a very sharp industrial blade, or let it grow. I don’t even know how well an electric shaver would work at this point. I love being completely bald, but I can’t risk at this point damaging the skin on my scalp either.

The other issue I have with my hair now is that with these translucent hairs coming in, it looks like I have less hair than I really do. I can’t use conventional hair dyes because they trigger my autoimmune response and they don’t grab the white hair (another lovely part of alopecia) very well. I’ll have to try a henna dye in a dark brown. I’m unsure whether the white hair and the translucent hair would hold color with henna though. I know it would work for my gray hair (I have plenty of those!). I guess all I can do is try huh?

Bald Beauty of the Day

We’ve been here in New Mexico for one year now, and I must say I truly love The Land of Enchantment. I took a trip this past weekend back to New Jersey and I couldn’t wait to get my ass out of there and on a plane back home. There were only four things great about that trip and it had NOTHING to do with being in The Garden State! I got to visit with my daughter, spend some travel time with my son (who came with me to NJ), I got to meet up with a good friend of mine and spent some time with my dad. That’s it! Beyond those things, there was absolutely nothing redeeming about being there. My patience and tolerance (this past weekend) of extremely self serving people is wearing extremely thin (of course I’m being cryptic again!) and I find I now blame myself for creating any assumptions of decency in these types of people…there really is no decency at this point. I really kick myself in the ass for wanting to believe that certain people I’m in contact with are generally good in nature, when in fact I merely allowed the illusion of them being “good” to cloud the truth of the matter…they are self serving, ego-vested, mean people to the core of their being, and no matter how much they want to cover that up with “appearances” they will always have to live with who they are! The experience of my shattered assumptions was enough to make me sick to my stomach. Not because they made me sick in the least, but because I allowed such “good assumptions” to exist in the first place. What does that make me? A sucker? Yup, I’m a sucker! I duped myself into believing things that were only half truths and partial realities. BLAAAA! Introspection is a bitch. But I’ve learned some very valuable lessons about myself and I feel I’ve grown quite a bit as a result of it. That was just a little update on my own emotional state of affairs. Now I’d like to switch gears and tell you all about something I’m pretty excited about:

I’ve been busy building a new social network that I just launched. It is a Network for families with disabilities. I announced the launch on my other blog site Loving Simone, but I’ll also copy it here.

In March 09′ I created “Loving Simone” as a way to reach out to others who may be struggling with the same types of health and neurological issues Simmi is faced with. I also joined several different message boards, groups, listserv’s, as well as social networks trying to get a handle on what was happening to Simone. What I found were some of the most generous and beautiful families struggling to give their disabled children a better life. What I also discovered was that all of us are so scattered across the internet in little micro groups and categories without any place to connect us all.

There are parents out there that may have children suffering with a single food allergy and others on the other end of the spectrum holding on for dear life as their child struggles to live just one more day. No matter how mild or severe the problems are, we need to gather strength from one another and blaze forward in search of the answers that we seek. I believe that The Sensitive Souls Network can be a tool in connecting us with one another easily. I created this Network to be a stepping stone to providing a better quality of life not only for my own grand daughter, but also for all children suffering with a disability.

Reaching out to parents who may have a child with problems but is undiagnosed is another important goal that is very close to my heart. Parents often feel very alone as they take their child from one doctor to the next trying to figure out what is wrong with him or her. It’s frustrating to say the least, and when a child doesn’t fit into any one diagnosis OR has multiple unrelated health problems, parents can feel “left for dead.” I want this Network to be a place of comfort as well as a way to receive much needed resources, wisdom from experienced parents, and a place to grieve if necessary.

I was going to wait till the new year to launch The Sensitive Souls Network, but as I thought about it, I realized that this Network will always be a work in progress with new things to be added daily. The site is kind of empty right now and I still have a lot of resources and information to add, but I would like to open it up and invite you all to become members. Its free to join.

Here are some of the features I put in place, and there are more to come in the future:

• Personal profile page- You can set up your profile to let others know who you and your child are
• Blog- Blog as little or as much as you’d like. The thing I love about this feature is that it can help chronicle your life and keep everyone updated about how your child is doing (or you). I’m a part of a few different message boards, and when others inquire about Simmi, it can become frustrating to try and retell a story over and over. With your own blog on the Network, you’ll be able to write it once and then refer others to your blog about what’s happening so you won’t have to retell a story multiple times.
• Groups- You’ll be able to create your own groups and/or join an existing group.
• Forum- I’ll be adding the Forum in the next few weeks
• Video chat- You can start a private video chat with other members or simply instant message them
• Add photos and videos

Here are some things still to come and in the works:

• Resources
• Main chat room
• Facebook application- you’ll be able to keep your peeps on Facebook up to date with your latest blogs as well as signing in to the Network through Facebook
• Lots more!

As I said earlier, the Network is a work in progress. I value feedback and suggestions! If you have a link, resources or information that you feel would help add to the site, leave a comment on my profile page or send me a private message there.

http://www.sensitivesoulsnetwork.com

Thanks for reading!

I’ve asked some friends to give me some ideas for new articles and I have a few leads on things I’d like to write about, but I need MORE! I need new life breathed into my half dead brain. Give me your suggestions! What would you like to read about? Something funny? Controversial? Sad? Politics?  I need some inspiration! In my long absence from the blogging world I came to find out that one of my favorite bloggers is no longer around! Is it something in the water? Where the hell did you go John Savo?

Next month will be my one year anniversary of having a blog, and I don’t want this entry to be the only one available to read! How pathetic.

I read through ads in the Free section, Furniture, Household goods, General and Materials looking for that special shiny object or piece of furniture that would benefit her. We also need to get some new appliances because our fridge is on its way out and the dishwasher is too loud. Actually both are really loud and it affects her negatively. Our stove needs to be replaced too. Well, some time back (we got a newer dishwasher on the free section of Craigslist) we replaced our broken dishwasher with a newer one and I saw this ad for free haul away of old appliances. The only problem was that every time I went to get this guy’s number, his ad had been flagged. After about a week of constantly searching for him, I finally was able to view his number before someone flagged him again. His name was Mike and like his ad said, he hauls away ANY type of appliance. It didn’t matter what condition it was in. So I gave him a call and told him that we had a leaky dishwasher and a very old appliance that had been sitting in our back yard for probably years. He said he would pick everything up…no problem. He was nice on the phone, came promptly, loaded the stuff and left. No big deal. BUT it was a big deal on Craigslist for some reason. I had seen someone post negative things about Mike before and how he was a scammer, bla bla bla, but when I read the latest post about Mike, I decided to finally speak up for him. I don’t know Mike beyond him coming and picking up the appliances, but I felt that this person obviously was pissed off at Mike for getting to the appliances before this “anonymous” person could. What a freaking coward too. I knew this guy was an appliance person, but when someone starts to accuse another of unsavory things and trying to ruin their business, that pisses me off. Here is what his ad said…I made sure to copy it just in case it got deleted or flagged. Actually the following are the messages between this guy and me:

PLEASE READ!!!!

---

Date: 2009-08-23, 12:55PM MDT
Reply to: sale-qx6cq-1338194310@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

THIS GUY MIKE, WHO OFFERS FREE APPLIANCE REMOVAL IS KNOWN IN THE APPLIANCE REPAIR WORLD AS A LOOSER, AND A LIAR WHO HARRASES WOMEN WHEN HE PICKS UP APPLIANCES. DO NOT CALL HIM!!! HE RE-SELLS APPLIANCES TO PEOPLE AND BURNS THEM IF SOMETHING DOES NOT WORK. HE OVERPOSTS AND NEEDS TO BE FLAGGED. HE IS A FLAKE AND A LIAR.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1338194310

Here is my response:

RE: PLEASE READ!!!!

---

Date: 2009-08-26, 3:49PM MDT
Reply to: sale-zwtd9-1343953755@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

Here is what someone posted about Mike the guy that hauls away appliances for free:

“THIS GUY MIKE, WHO OFFERS FREE APPLIANCE REMOVAL IS KNOWN IN THE APPLIANCE REPAIR WORLD AS A LOOSER, AND A LIAR WHO HARRASES WOMEN WHEN HE PICKS UP APPLIANCES. DO NOT CALL HIM!!! HE RE-SELLS APPLIANCES TO PEOPLE AND BURNS THEM IF SOMETHING DOES NOT WORK. HE OVERPOSTS AND NEEDS TO BE FLAGGED. HE IS A FLAKE AND A LIAR.”

Now…first of all Mike was extremely helpful in hauling away two appliances for me. One was functional and the other was in my back yard from previous tenants for YEARS. Mike came on time, picked up the stuff and was on his way. I AM A WOMAN and he NEVER harassed me in any way, shape or form.
So what if he picks up the stuff and re-sells it. Good for him. The economy sucks right now. What’s the difference between taking those same appliances that may or may not work down to the Salvation Army or Good Will and THEM selling it?
Get over yourself, especially if you’ve made it your full time job to flag him and anyone else on Craigslist. LOL
I wouldn’t put it past you to actually be one of those people you described Mike to be and your just pissed off because he beats you to the stuff.

Oh, and I’m sure you’ll probably flag this too. LOL You know, Craigslist isn’t paying you to do that. Get a real job!

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

This is what this guy says back to me:

RE: RE: PLEASE READ!!!! (Alby. nm)

---

Date: 2009-08-28, 8:07AM MDT
Reply to: sale-xkuzg-1346599261@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

Too funny!! I wouldn’t be surprised if you posted this ad yourself or got one of the ladies that you didn’t harass that you are probably trying to seduce to post this. Get a life! Nobody cares. We have a much more professional appliance business than you and we don’t lie about our real names and can spell and write English correctly!

• Location: Alby. nm
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

My response back to him…

RE:RE: RE: PLEASE READ!!!!

---

Date: 2009-08-28, 8:43AM MDT
Reply to: sale-gb2fb-1346658602@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

OMG! That is funny! I was right. Awesome. I can’t wait to write about it in my blog. I am TRULY all woman, and no Mike didn’t put me up to writing anything. I think you have increased his business by stating such horrible things about him. My next blog post will be quite amusing…would you like to name your APPLIANCE business? Here is my blog site if you’re curious:

http://www.AlopecianMuse.com

I have written other articles about Craigslist too, but this one will be very fun! Please don’t be so shy in not revealing who you are my dear! Mike gives his own number…how about you? I plan on featuring him on my next blog post, would you like to be featured too?

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Here is ANOTHER post this guy made about a repair man, LOL:

RE: appliance repair

---

Date: 2009-08-28, 10:36AM MDT
Reply to: sale-pfyet-1346887998@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

This guy is not very honest…Why? How could he claim to be more than 50% cheaper than any other repair company when he does not know what everyone charges. Sounds like this guy is a flake and a liar!! My motto is you get what you pay for. A cheap hotel room is usually pretty gross… A cheap repair man? probaly not a guy you want in your house. The truth will set you free!!

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1346887998

Ok, so when does the drama end? Why do people feel the need to disparage another’s character just to get business for themselves? I was looking for Mike’s ad and number but I don’t think he is even posting on there anymore. Usually he gives his name and phone number and now it’s just a different phone number on the postings. I can’t find the number I had for him. I wanted to call him so I could feature him in this article. He didn’t deserve being slandered like that. Nobody does. If I do happen to find him on Craigslist again, I will ask him to come by so I can interview him and promote what he does. There have been other people that have responded to the negative ads put up and talked about how great it was that he came and took their stuff for free.

On to the fun stuff! Ok, time to go through the treasure trove that is Craigslist and bring up some beauties that are for sale (I did take out email address and phone numbers):

Maybe I’m out of my league with this one, but you tell me if you think it’s worth $1995.00!

round retro antique style 60s gold bed. - $1995 (los lunas)

---

Date: 2009-08-30, 10:31AM MDT
Reply to: sale-p7cc7-1349913074@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

round retro antique style 60s gold bed. this bed is fully referneshed with brand new mattres that has never been used. This bed has a 8 track in the moon shaped head board and it works great. it also has space for a tv to go into the moon shaped head board. removable end tables that make this bed look unique. going for $1,995 OBO very rare bed for more pictures and info just call ricarda at ******************** or email me @ ********* must sell moving out of state

• Location: los lunas
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1349913074

From the Antique section…uh??? Am I missing something or is there something wrong with the ad and the pictures? Are they trying to “doll up” the photos with the stuffed animal and coverings on the arms or are they hiding something? I wonder if they spent way too much originally on these items. The asking price of $1800 seems a bit high to me especially since the stuff is covered up! P.S. I did not alter the spelling on this ad.

3 PICE SOFA & ARMCHAIRS IMPORTED FROM ITALY VICTORIAN - $1800 (SE ALB)

---

Date: 2009-08-28, 4:13PM MDT
Reply to: sale-cym8m-1347534489@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

IMPORTED FROM ITALY VICTORIAN SOFA & ARMCHAIRS 3 PICE
BUTAFIELL CARVED WOOD
I PIID 6.000.00 ABOUT 6 YEARS AGO THEY DO NEED SOME WORK
$ 1800 OBO ***-****

• Location: SE ALB
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1347534489

And finally an ad from “Casual Encounters”…how fun!

Couple looking for a well hung atheltic male - mw4m - 40 (Albuquerque)

We are a professional, family oriented couple looking to bring that ONE male into our life for friendship and more. We have a family so discretion is a huge must. He must be in good shape, well hung, good looking, respectful, non pushy/cocky, and disease free. We are looking for friendship first and then bedroom fun. He must be able to carry conversation and laughs before the bedroom. We prefer he be age 21-40, hygiene clean, good shape, and well hung (8″+). Not looking for over weight males. We are very real and a fun couple to know. We dont mind if your married. If interestd, please send and email telling us about you and what your looking for in a couple. Please no one liners with no sense rude comments. Also attach a full body and face pic and we will return. No pics…. the email will be deleted. We are very real and you be too.

• Location: Albuquerque
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1349795995

To close this article, I thought it would be appropriate to choose music that captured the essence that truly is “Craigslist” :

Weird Al Yankovic made a new video which was disabled for embedding! The video really sums it all up, so here is the link-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZqciuoiikw

Sometimes I am so completely drained I feel empty inside. Dom and I are worked to the bone trying to trouble shoot and make things more suitable here, but it just seems like an endless cycle of “lets add one more problem to the laundry list of issues we already deal with concerning Simmi.” Just as we’re adjusting and finding creative ways around the food issue, and finally getting the floors down in the house, up pops a problem that may be a link to some of the developmental problems she has been having. We’re detectives trying to find the missing puzzle piece of Simmi’s developmental delays. Knowing that she already has this long list of problems, we are wondering if vision problems are contributing to more of her issues. Is it possible?

She has low muscle tone and has had this for a long time. The physical therapist attributes her walking problems with having low muscle tone and Simmi is trying to compensate for this problem by developing a new gait. She also feels that it is the contributing factor of not wanting to get up and walk around or run. But how about when she goes outside and refuses to walk? Is that low muscle tone or is it her vision? These are the types of questions swimming around in our brains constantly. If we go out during the day and it’s very sunny out, she becomes agitated, upset and sometimes gets scared or wants to be held. Why? We know from experience that she does better in low light settings and she is wonderful in the evening hours…calm, peaceful and amiable. During the day, its a different story! As long as the house isn’t flooded with lots of light she does pretty well, but she is often irritable and at times even irrational. She doesn’t really nap anymore during the day which is making things even more hectic. She gets up during the night more than ever as well. So, if bright sunlight is somehow blocking her ability to see, how do we remedy the situation? Blinds and curtains work wonders, and controlling the light that is in the house seems to help as well. But is that enough? What if the light and her vision is preventing her from learning? What if her central vision doesn’t work properly and that’s why she tends to look out of the corner of her eyes? She cocks her head in weird positions, not all the time but enough to see that there is something more to all of this. I have been doing some research here and there when we have a moment, to find out more about Cortical Visual Impairment (CVI) and one thing that I have found is that it is possible for children to regain more of their sight with the proper therapies. How much therapy does this child need? Yes, we can have a therapist here every day of the week for different things, but the therapy should continue even after the therapist leaves. This is where we take over. I need to take the lead with all of this, because the therapists in their field of work come for one hour per week each. Discovering this new problem with her vision helps us to focus in on techniques and approaches that will be more suitable to her therapy. At first glance, when a therapist is here, we might think that she has a VERY limited attention span. Is it her attention that is the problem, or is it the fact that she may not see very clearly what is being presented to her? She responds much better to bright bold colors, moving objects and shiny things. These are the types of things that will need to be incorporated into her therapy and into everyday life. But what does that mean for us as a family? There is no way I’m putting a disco ball up in the dining room, or streamers all over the house that glimmer and shine! There needs to be a “tasteful” way of incorporating shiny objects and special lighting into our home and the house look NORMAL! I’m learning about the properties and principles of multi-sensory therapy and taking those principles and looking for a functional design for our house.

In Simmi’s room we purchased some very cheap shiny stars to hang from her ceiling. What we discovered is that if objects and things seem effortless for her to focus on, she becomes less fatigued. The hanging stars in her room provide movement when there is air flow in the room through the central air/heating system, and when we carry her into her room to put her to bed or take her out of bed, it provides an opportunity to develop her eye-hand coordination because she always wants to touch them or hit them to make them swing or move. The more effortless it is for her to focus and see, (in my opinion) the more it strengthens her vision. It’s such a simple thing and yet she consistently is interested in reaching out for them and with that beautiful wonderment that children seem to have, says “WOW!” every time she enters the room…without fail.

Having a child with undiagnosed problems can be difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. We know our children better than any doctor or therapist, understanding what works and what doesn’t, and its important that we realize that their development is in our hands….not the doctor or therapists. A diagnosis would be nice for her, but what then? She doesn’t have any major organs affected that need to be assisted with the use of medication, so all I can do is trouble shoot and find the right combinations of things that can work for her. Getting to that point is the hard part. It means constantly watching and evaluating her. Its almost a clinical approach to parenting, yet maintaining the close relationship and trust that it takes to move her to the next level in her development. It means never giving up hope and always striving for the very best we can offer her.

We noticed that she looks uninterested in learning things, but is she uninterested or trying to get a better glimpse of what we are showing her by turning her head to the side? She seems to look away, but is she looking away or looking peripherally? She picks up things without looking at them, or is she just looking out of the corner of her eyes this whole time and we never noticed? Yesterday as we were walking out of my room, she walked full force into the molding on our door. She didn’t fall into the door jam, she just walked, thinking that she had clearance. She seems to have a high tolerance for pain, because she didn’t cry afterwards…she just sat on the floor and started to crawl instead. The worst part of all this is that it happens when you least expect it. Not realizing or even noticing these issues in the past makes me wonder if the reason she gets so confused is because she actually can’t see something. She’ll put her hand out and grunt for something, we’ll take her over to that object so she can have it and she will say no and get upset. Is she confused about what she wants? It seems like she can’t make up her mind! It can be very frustrating for us, but I now wonder if her reaching out and grunting is her way of saying “I can’t see this or that.”

We will be creating a Snoezelen room for her in her bedroom. Here is a picture of what we are aiming for when designing her room:

While Snoezelen rooms and equipment are extremely expensive, we can create a room like this with a little creativity. Did you notice the disco ball? Remember earlier I mentioned NOT having a disco ball in our dining room? Simmi is very attracted to arrays of light, prisms, movement, smell and sound, so to incorporate these types of things into the rest of our home (without making every room look like a Snoezelen room) we have decided to go with crystal chandeliers, mirrors and things that draw her eye to where we want her to go at different times during the day. It becomes a way of helping her focus and concentrate effortlessly.

Our bedroom, the dining room and living room are other areas that she is in often. I do deep pressure massages on her after her bath time and that happens on our bed. We have designed our room (although it is in the planning stages right now) to include a crystal chandelier over the bed, lots of mirrors, textures and patterns throughout. How do you have crystal prisms on nightstands and dressers, crystal lamps and vases, flowers and pictures WITHOUT a toddler grabbing them and braking them, potentially hurting themselves? In my design world, I will be mounting these objects to old furniture. The textiles I’ll be using are cut work velvets, silks and satins and furs, providing an endless source of things to touch and experience. Mounting objects to the furniture allows for her to touch the object without possible damage and it becomes the focal point that draws her eye to what ever object I want her to touch or experience in that moment. The design I came up with for our bedroom is not my style at all! Dom and I had planned for a very streamlined more modern and clean look, very minimalistic. That plan went right out the door one morning after discovering that Simmi has vision problems. I realized I was going to have to go for an elegant shabby chic. I put my foot down though when it comes to lots of flower patterns! Not just that, but keeping things simple in terms of patterns is important for Simmi. I’m being stretched and pulled out of the comfort of my design world and into something that in the end will look absolutely beautiful, but totally not my style. The picture on the right is similar to a look I’ll be aiming for. Much more texture, but the intention is to include shiny objects coupled with lots of white. She does well with white in low lighting because it doesn’t fatigue her…everything kind of blends allowing for a more relaxed experience. Our room already has mirrored bi-fold closet doors, which at first we were going to get rid of, but now see the value of having them. Playing with the mirrored concept and use of crystal prisms can actually bring a large amount of sophistication to our room and at the same time be a constant source of therapy for Simmi.

So what can I say? How far do I go to make her life and ours more pleasant and relaxed? Is it worth the effort? Absolutely! I’m tired of waiting for that next opportunity with a therapist, or needing to bring out the objects for her to utilize. I want her to be strengthened each day effortlessly so we can get to the real business at hand…being normal.

How much does it cost to do all this stuff? A lot and nothing at all. If I were to purchase everything new, there would be no way I could afford it all. We have already collected a few items for free off of Freecycle, and I’m always amazed at what some people just get rid of. Usually it doesn’t fit their decor anymore, or its something that was passed down that has been just sitting in their garage. I can actually make the mirrored night stands if I want that look, and as far as bedding goes, I plan on creating my own with Dupioni silks, taffeta, velvets and other textiles. Where will I get these types of fabrics? On sale at Joann fabric or if someone happens to be giving away an old wedding gown. I’ve been on the look out for lots of wedding gowns. When no money is available, everything takes time to acquire. Some times things come in quickly, and at other times it seems like eternity waiting for that special little object. We already have an antique chandelier that someone was getting rid of, and I’m in the process of restoring it to its former beauty so we can hang it as soon as our bedroom is painted.

For anyone willing to go the extra million miles to make their child’s life better (and ours too), I highly recommend trouble shooting how your child responds to their environment. Is the child agitated during the day or evening? Does it make life almost unbearable because you can’t figure out what the hell is wrong with them and you are pulling your hair out because you’ve tried everything? Experiment! Try turning the lights down, or making it brighter. See if background noise like the refrigerator or washing machine aggravates the situation. There is background noise that we become used to but to a child with sensory problems, that sound may drive them crazy and they don’t even realize it. How about if more than one person is talking in a room? Does it drive them bananas and make them lash out? If the light or even background noise is too much for Simmi she begins to take a swipe at us. She will hit and kick, start pulling at her hair and maybe even just start screaming. The hair pulling we have been dealing with for a long time, and we knew it seemed to come in cycles, but now we notice that light and sound have something to do with her hair pulling. Its amazing when we’re willing to watch intently, we see a host of very fixable problems that can help her be more at ease. Being at ease means being more receptive to learning. I’m even considering wearing bright red lipstick during the day if it will help her focus on my mouth when I speak. Children learn to form words by watching others speak, but what happens if they don’t see your mouth clearly or how you form your words? How do they learn? I’m not a lipstick girl, but I’m willing to try it!

It has been quite the adventure, taxing for sure, but well worth the effort. Yesterday we had an Occupational therapist and Simmi’s service coordinator here, and I was thrilled that this particular OT will be helping in creating a plan for Simmi’s sensory issues. At one point during the session, as we were discussing Simmi’s vision, Simmi was able to comprehend what we were talking about and actually put her two cents in concerning her vision. I got a little teary eyed when I saw Simmi standing in front of her service coordinator and while covering one eye, kept looking at him and saying “see, see” and pointing. Then she would cover the other eye and say “see, see”. She understood what we were talking about and was babbling on about something concerning seeing. It was clear as crystal that she was explaining something, and she was so happy that we were catching on. At least that is how I interpret yesterday’s events. The language barrier is still there, but I feel she had her own personal break through yesterday. She understands far more than she can indicate and I am excited to give her the proper tools to make her world more vibrant, clear and comfortable.

Enjoy!

The first time I heard her call herself Gerty was in a church. I think we were going in to vote or something like that, and a bunch of very old ladies were sitting there asking Shoshie her name. Now, Shoshie was a thumb sucker, hard core, and the only time she took that thing out of her mouth was to say a few words and back in went the thumb. So the ladies say “Awww, what’s your name?” Shoshie takes her thumb out of her mouth for a second and says “Gerty,” and it stuck. She just loved that name. When she was around 10 years old, she got a turtle from her dad and guess what she named the turtle? Yup…Gerty.

Shoshie was my little shadow. She was extremely easy to care for, adorable, compact and we could take her anywhere with no fuss. She was content with her blankie and her thumb in her mouth and that was all she wanted or needed. When she was an infant we could hand her off to anyone and she was happy as a clam to be held and cuddled. She would just coo and ahh and constantly stick her little tongue out, but by the time she was about 9 months old her social and happy disposition with others was quickly replaced by terror. It seemed as if in a single moment she went from “happy-go-lucky” to horrified if anyone so much as looked at her. She would hold onto us tight and turn her head so she couldn’t look into other peoples’ eyes. Once she warmed up though, she was fine. From that point on, being social was completely on her own terms. As I said just a short while earlier, she was my little shadow. No matter where I would go in the house, I could always count on Shoshie to be right behind me or at my side. She wouldn’t say a peep…she’d just follow me around and silently try to assist me in whatever I was doing. I could take her shopping with me, talk on the phone, take care of anything I was working on and there she was just happy to sit next to me. Of course it wasn’t every second of every day, because she had her “partner in crime” Noah to do things with. I remember this one time I had to go to Costco for some things, Shoshie couldn’t have been more than three years old at the time, and while we were standing at the checkout line, a man in the next row over taps me on the shoulder and says “I think you should turn around.” I turned around and there was Shoshie with all her clothes off, just standing there with her thumb in her mouth. It was the cutest thing ever! But that is how she was and still is. (well, not the stripping down part) She just has a strong and silent way about her, and when she has made up her mind to do something after much thought, she just does it.

Shoshie is extremely kind, loving and caring. She is a musician and plays the cello, can fool around on the guitar, is great with percussion and loves to sing. She’s a girlie-girl too. Loyalty comes to mind when I think of her. I’m very proud of who she is becoming. This past spring while she was away to visit her dad, she made the decision  to live with him and his fiance. I have always felt that my children should be able to choose where they would like to live, but even after conveying that message to them, she still had a hard time telling me that she wanted to live with them. Regardless of my own personal feelings about her being so far away from me, I want her to know that I respect her and admire her for stepping out and choosing something for herself. The most difficult thing about not having her here anymore is that I will miss her presence. She has such a uniquely gorgeous soul. I loved our talks and asking strange and obscure questions just to get her to think. I love when she would ask me questions about “girl things” and how fascinated she was by “the way things are.” Of course I’m being cryptic, but what did you expect? I can tell the whole world what it is that Shoshie and I talk about. She is a beautiful jewel…a treasure!

My Shoshie Girl,

I can’t believe you are 14 years old now! I remember when you and Noah would sit in the back of the mini van and you would look at Noah and say “PIMP!” and he would just kackle and laugh. You would put your thumb in your mouth, pull it out and say “PIMP!” and he would laugh even harder. I don’t know where you heard that word, but you both thought it was the funniest thing on earth. I remember when we would ask you “When are you going to stop sucking your thumb?” and you would say “On Tuesday” in that sweet soft voice of yours. I have so many beautiful memories of you my girl and it has been a blessing to be your mother. Thank you for being such a great daughter, filled with love, joy, friendship, life and optimism. You are truly beautiful through and through. I love you Shoshie girl…Happy Birthday!

We’ve been living in New Mexico for seven months now…so what do I think so far? Well, for anyone with an interest in moving to New Mexico, I say go for it! I really do love it here with one, little, tiny thing that I absolutely HATE (Noah and Shoshie if you are reading this, close the freaking page)…SCORPIONS! What did I expect? Rainbows and butterflies? Holy shit! Guess what, we’re coming upon scorpion season and yesterday while Dom was in our bathroom, he looked on the WALL and there was a scorpion. He swiped it off the wall and killed it. What’s the name of this particular scorpion dwelling on my bathroom wall? The Bark Scorpion. The picture on the left is what they look like.

Here in New Mexico you can buy one of those handy little black light flash lights. It seems that when you put a black light on them in the dark, they glow. Cool right? Don’t get me wrong, I am very curious about scorpions and think they are really interesting creatures, BUT NOT IN MY HOUSE! I’m paranoid about what’s lurking under the bed now, and also worried about Simmi in her room. This weekend we have to do some major scorpion proofing of our house. I was looking around and realized that there are lots of areas they can come in from. In retrospect, now I’m wondering if Simmi actually may have gotten a scorpion bite. She has had a lot of trouble walking and in the last few weeks it has gotten worse. She does have a small round red mark on the sole of her right foot and lately she has been screaming every time we put her into the crib. When I say scream, I mean SCREAM! She screams like she is being murdered. That started on Monday. Because we have concrete floors that are nasty and unfinished, we always put shoes on her. There would be no way for her to get a puncture mark in the bottom of her foot. I just noticed the mark yesterday, but could it be likely that she got bit? She doesn’t seem to have any of the symptoms of a bite, like swelling, nausea (even though she really isn’t eating much) excess saliva or foaming at the mouth. If you’re interested in reading about what she is going through (it has totally drained me) you can read about it on LovingSimone.com. Anyway, I don’t *think* she got bit, but I do wonder now if it’s possible. They say it causes extreme pain and numbness, but in children it can be very serious. All last week she had a fever of 102.3 but no symptoms of a cold. When I took her to the doctor he said it was probably a virus. It could have been that, but with a viral or bacterial infection, other symptoms are bound to show up. She never developed any other symptoms.

It has been a very trying two-three weeks. My head is spinning and I barely have a few moments to myself. My computer time has been cut down to a few moments here and there and mostly at night, but by 8:30pm I am totally exhausted. My writing has suffered, and I feel so disconnected from my online world. The simple pleasures that seem to help me through the day is the weather here. Every morning when I wake up, I hear the sound of hundreds of birds singing. The air is cool and pleasant and there is usually a beautiful breeze that blows through the house. The light here is amazing. We are entering monsoon season due to hurricane season in Mexico. Lately it is either raining every day or every other day. The humidity is also increased during this time of year. It stays relatively cool during the morning to mid afternoon and then it gets very hot until about 7:00pm. After that, it cools back down and we have very pleasant cool evenings. Being outside in the evening is a joy. Seeing the gorgeous colors painted across the sky in hues of purple and pink just make me take a deep breath, clear my head and enjoy the moment. One thing that is a nuisance (beyond scorpions) is the amount of dirt that blows in the windows. Where we live, there always seems to be two times a day when the wind picks up and gusts and sometimes I forget to close all the windows during those times. Oh-My-God, this one time we left the windows open and every room had light covering of dirt on it. Everything was covered with gritty sand; the table, chairs, floor, cabinets, clothing, beds…everything. The dirt is very light also, and when sweeping it up, most of it kicks up into the air only to settle once again on the floor or other house hold object. We have to not just sweep, but we have to use a shop vac depending on the amount of dirt blown in. It really is that bad! It’s the price we pay for living in the desert and NOT having rocks, wood chips or even grass covering the front and back yard. Most of the dirt that comes in is directly from our own yard, so we just deal with needing to clean up all the dirt. Landscaping is a very low priority on our list right now because there are so many needs on the interior.

I am officially a raw foodist again. I went back to eating raw foods on June 17th and it has been wonderful. We are almost done with my raw kitchen and just need a few more items to make it complete. Here is a few pictures of what it looked like before and after:

I also just created a raw website if anyone would like to take a look. I had some time on Sunday to create it, while Dom watched Simmi all day. That was a nice break! Anyway, here’s the site:

www.RavishinglyRaw.com

Bald Beauty of the Day

Her skin was the softest skin I had ever felt. It was supple and mushy and she smelled so good. As the weeks went by, her face formed correctly and what emerged was a most beautiful baby. Deep brown eyes, soft dark skin and an appetite that never quit. I nursed her all the time. She wasn’t happy unless some part of my skin was in her mouth. A pinky knuckle, my chin or a breast. She wouldn’t allow anyone to hold her and would scream unless I was holding her, nursing her or she was in the swing. Hannah crawled early and was walking by the time she was nine months old. Until she was nine months old, she barely ever smiled or laughed. I felt like the Dairy Queen as the months went by until finally the nursing was so out of hand that I had to wean her. From the time I weaned her, she started to smile, laugh and was great around other people. It was like I had a completely different child. Something was different about her though…she didn’t speak. Of course Gina, her big sister was there to “express” what Hannah may have wanted. Gina would bring Hannah into the kitchen holding her hand and say “Hannah wants some juice”, and I would ask Hannah “Do you want juice?” She would nod “Yes.” I knew she could understand everything we were saying and all her developmental milestones were completely normal, except for speech. It didn’t concern me because in my heart I knew it would only be a matter of time before she would speak. She didn’t disappoint either. At around 2 1/2 years old, while we were driving some where in the car, we heard this small, raspy voice in the backseat. I turned my head to see where it was coming from, and there in her car seat was Hannah speaking. She wasn’t just speaking, she was quoting bible verses. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart” was what this child was saying. When she saw that I was witnessing this, she shut up. She knew how to speak…she just chose to be silent all that time.

Hannah and Gina did everything together. When Gina was four years old and Hannah was two, we lived in an apartment on the third floor above a store. I went down stairs to get the mail, and Gina took it upon herself to “get help” because they were left alone. Gina was wearing a skirt with no shirt on, Hannah was wearing a shirt with no underwear or pants on…they BOTH put MY shoes on, Gina took Hannah by the hand and brought her down the back stairs of the fire escape to my neighbor’s house, one flight down. Gina knocked on the door and my neighbor answered. Gina is holding Hannah’s hand and Gina proceeds to tell the neighbor that they were left all alone and she doesn’t know where her mommy is. The neighbor heard me walking back up the stairs and opens the door. She says, “You have to see this, can you come in?” I said “Sure.” I walk into her kitchen, and there standing before me are my two little girls, each half dressed and wearing my shoes. I busted out laughing and realized at that moment that Hannah would follow Gina anywhere.

Hannah loved climbing into my bed while I was sleeping and then she would fall back to sleep. While her sister was up running around making things or getting into stuff she shouldn’t, Hannah was more content crawling under the covers with me and curling up there. Often I would be awoken by her when she was four years old when I would hear this soft, raspy voice say “Good morning mommy, good morning.” She was just this pure sweetness that I wanted to eat up. You couldn’t help but fall in love with Hannah. She had a knack for making grown men cry too. On many occasions, I could catch different men that we knew, tear up as they looked into her eyes. She had a soft quality about her that just made everyone melt.

Hannah loved to create and imagine. I used to have a craft room in my basement where we lived in Michigan, and that child would just rummage through all my craft supplies and material so she could make something. I’d see her walking down the sidewalk with the stroller and inside it was our dog…all dressed up in something she made.

Hannah has always been and always will be a tender soul. Beautiful to the core, she exudes love, compassion, joy, creativity and a thirst for life. She is a musician…self taught. This girl can sing too. We would hear her practicing in her room over and over, but through a door. One night she invited us to come to hear her play. We were all blown away. True to the spirit of a hard core introvert, Hannah shines when she performs. Writing her own songs and melodies, she captivates her audience with rich, soulful, gut-wrenching lyrics. Sometimes dark, sometimes melancholy, but always pure and true to who she is and what she is feeling in that moment. Having her in my life is miracle each and everyday.

I miss her. Plain and simple. She lives on the east coast, and HOPEFULLY (hint, hint, Hannah) she will make plans to move out here too. She has a life she loves and a boyfriend that treats her well…but she doesn’t have her Mama out there. It’s been almost six months since I last saw her and I think it’s hard on us all. We were together last in December and we took some pretty cool pictures on my computer…here is a slide of us all goofing off. Of course Noah will kill me for showing this because his hair was all messed up. Heehee. Hannah hounded me for days to take these pictures, so I thought I would share it all with you: