I Miss My Husband
February 2, 2009 by Angela
Filed under Family Life, Featured, Women
I feel I am at a loss these days. Being without Dom is becoming increasingly difficult and I find myself becoming depressed. I feel overwhelmed by all that I need to do here in our new home and I feel that he is missing out on so much because he needs to stay on the east coast for work. I miss him more each day, and even though we talk a few times a day by phone, it just isn’t the same as having him here to hold.
I was thinking of how much he means to me and while it helps me to get through the day, the reality of the situation sucks! As I write this, Simmi is whining in the crib with the most annoying cry I have ever heard. She is annoyed that I had to switch her to a different kind of bottle that doesn’t leak all over the place. All I can think in this moment is that I feel the exact same way as her. I just want to whine about the fact that Dom isn’t here and that there is nothing that can replace him. I miss the way he makes coffee in the morning for me and brings it to me all bright eyed and full of excitement to tell me about the day ahead. I miss after he leaves for work and going into the kitchen and seeing the huge mess he left behind of coffee grinds half spilled in the garbage can, the sugar spilled onto the counter, him filling up the cup too much and as he would stir everything together, it spilling all over the counter. Why do I love that? Sure he could have cleaned it up immediately, but he had more pressing things on his mind like being with me every moment he could before going off to work. I miss the way he used to blow up the kitchen creating fantastic meals for all of us and I loved watching him work his magic preparing gourmet meals or absolute flop meals. I smile thinking about how once he made Nacho Supreme for us and when he realized that there was no sour cream he improvised and used blue cheese. I know, I know, eeww! Blue cheese on nachos? Oh believe me it was horrible, but I loved the fact that he prepared that meal. I smile just thinking of how every one’s face looked when he said that he put blue cheese in the nachos. Then I laugh, then I tear up.
I love his deep voice and how he always tells me that he loves me softly in my ear or chases me around the house because “he just has to have me.” Most of all I miss his presence here and the joy he brings to not only me but also to the children. When he calls, they can’t wait to talk to him and tell them about their day or what has been going on in school. He talks to them everyday and it saddens me even more that he isn’t here to talk with them in person or work on some project together.
Being as resourceful as I am, and having the skills to complete the work that has to be done in the house
alone, I find myself sinking into some despair. Sure I can paint, repair the heating system, change fixtures in the bathroom and kitchen, refinish the kitchen cabinets, switch out electrical sockets and light switches, install new light fixtures, put down new flooring, design what I want for the interior, repair holes in walls, mud, tape and finish walls…but it’s just not the same as having him here to share that with. Yes I can do ALL those things alone, but I love working with him and getting it done together. He is not only my husband and lover, but also my playmate!
I have tried to look on the bright side, and I have tried to convince myself that it will only be a little longer, but the reality creeps in and causes me to recoil and feel alone. Every time I go to do something, I think of how much he would love doing that thing with me. I love how messy he gets when he works and when he leaves stuff all over the place. He does great at painting a room and the finished product is awesome, but I always smile at the tracks left behind on the floor from splattered paint, stepping in it and tracking it around the room. Those are the small things that can get under other peoples skin perhaps, but they are the little things that I find so endearing about him.
I don’t know how women do it when their husbands are in the military or work for months away from home. I know that the cares and worries of the day tend to make time go by faster (or sometimes agonizingly slower) and I even know that there are wives that don’t exactly miss that their husband or partner is away because they are so freaking annoying. It’s like a little mini-vacation for them. But this man of mine is priceless beyond compare and I hate being away from him!
Each day that goes by the loneliness creeps into him as well. I hope that he will be able to come out to visit us in the next few weeks and I look forward to the day he comes home for good.
For any women that has a husband or partner that is away for long periods of time, how do you deal with it? There are plenty of things that a person can do to fill the time and create a diversion of sorts, but at the end of the day the pain of being apart is still there. How do you get through it all?
John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer on Wed, 4th Feb 2009 12:35 am
Yeah, I couldn’t imagine not having my wife in my bed every night. We get used to things, and when they’re not there, we get lonely. I feel for you. Hope he comes home soon.
Seraphine on Thu, 5th Feb 2009 12:35 pm
exercise. yoga. take deeper breaths. take simmi out for a walk.
it won’t replace dom, but it will help with the depression and stress.
do something nice for dom: draw him a picture or write a letter or put a shelf in the bathroom for his shaving stuff. you’ll feel closer to him for the effort.
take some photos of simmi.
you’re blessed to have such love in your life.
Angela on Thu, 5th Feb 2009 12:46 pm
Seraphine, YES! I’ll paint him a new piece! I think I’ll go down to the art shop this morning and get some art supplies. Painting has always soothed the savage beast inside of me in times of turmoil and despair.
Thanks for the suggestion.
Charlie on Thu, 5th Feb 2009 9:19 pm
That is the most romantic touching thing I have ever heard. Your love is so hot with passion, caring and the pure need to be connected with your man. It is such a breath of fresh air to hear how wonderfully happy people are with their mates.
Bring engaged and reading your blog really makes me appreciate my guy, and really excited for how he will be my partner in life, and my best friend.
Dom is a great man. Thats what he is. A very rare specimen. a MAN with a heart or gold, sensitivity to care for his loved ones, and the strength to support.
Angela on Thu, 5th Feb 2009 11:58 pm
Thank you my darling! I can’t wait till we all can get together Charlie…I’m counting down the days.
My Art Therapy : The Alopecian Muse on Sun, 8th Feb 2009 12:40 am
[...] February 2nd I wrote a post titled “I Miss My Husband” and a comment was left for me that struck a cord. Here is the [...]
Joseph on Sun, 15th Feb 2009 3:26 am
I have to say that this post left me wondering and positive at the same time. Wondering if anyone ever felt as strong about me in a comparative way that you feel about your guy. Yet positive about your immense ability to love him.
Regards,
Joseph
Angela on Sun, 15th Feb 2009 10:11 am
Hi Joseph,
I think that my immense ability to love Dom comes from the absolute freedom he gives me TO love him. He is always open to my ideas (as crazy as they can be sometimes) and allows me the freedom to grow as a woman, while never forgetting who he is as a man. It’s a balance that we have. He doesn’t try to dominate me or belittle me in anyway. He is never suspicious, possessive or jealous. He is very secure as a man. It is never “his way or the highway” nor does he expect me to get his permission to do anything. His trust of me is immense in that he knows when I do something it is with our family and him in mind and isn’t for selfish reasons. It makes me want to come back for more. Everybody wants to be listened to and taken seriously, and if we give that gift to our mates, choosing to allow them to grow as people without all the “shoulds and should nots” I truly believe that the love that others wish to have in their lives will come and come abundantly.
sensfaction on Sun, 15th Feb 2009 11:11 pm
I totally get where you’re coming from. Talking on the phone can in no way compare to a nice hug at the end of the day. I feel for ya.
Angela on Mon, 16th Feb 2009 2:02 am
Thank you Sensfaction
gina Rundle on Mon, 4th Jan 2010 4:12 pm
everything you wrote reflected how I feel about my husband and being away, I to feel the loneliness and the nights are the worst not being able to cuddle up to him no on to share my thoughts with, not quiet the same when talking on a phone, I find myself all most wishing my life away, so that the next year and a half will pass buy quickly. I try hard to battle with the sad feelings and recently I bought a dvd, the secret it helps me to try and see that life must have a grand plan and that we play a positive role in helping that happen, and if we believe in that much and stay positive then what we give off we attract back into our lifes, that is the secret. I hope that if the lady that wrote about her husband reads this, then please rember you are not alone and stay strong and focused and your husband he will soon be back by your side where he belongs, you have a deep under lining love for each other, I to have that same love with my hubby we are lucky to have that so many people never get to feel the real depths of love, its an amazing feeling.
christine on Tue, 6th Jul 2010 11:31 pm
I can feel your pain as I am feeling the same way.. It’ll just be 8 months from now but there was never a day that I did not miss my husband so much..I try to do tons of work and makes sure that my 24 hours is busy with work and a little rest so that I will not have the time to cry. I have lots of problems my husband didn’t know about because I do not want him to worry. And everyday that I face the world alone, I wanted to die because of the pressure and because of the fact that I have no one to share it with. I have four kids all 5 and below to take care and when they fight each other, when the run around and you had little rest, when they cry and I have a task to finish, I wanted to die. But I said I need to be strong for them and for our family. There’s no room for breaking down and this is what keeps me going on.