Bald Fetishism
I wanted to address a topic that is rather heated in the lives of women who live as Alopecians; the bizarre world of bald fetishists. I have gone to a number of bald fetish sites to see what the fascination is with a bald woman and try to make sense of this odd sexual proclivity. Women shave their heads for a variety of reasons, but as I am discovering, it is about power for a woman. And for every “powerful clean shaven woman” there is an awestruck willing man erect and waiting to be subdued. I wanted to look objectively at this group of participants, because I believe women are just as much apart of the bald fetish world as men are. I wanted to understand exactly what the big “turn on” was and why this particular fetish makes men go nuts and blow their load.
The picture on the left shows two women involved in fantasy roles, one as a dominate and the other as a submissive. For the sake of staying on the conservative side, I am not showing the rest of the picture. The woman being shaved not only has a clothes pin on her tongue, but she is topless with clothes pins pinched to her breasts as well, and from the waist down she is wearing a plaid Catholic school uniform skirt, white knee high socks and shoes. For me, it’s hard to see what the great appeal in this is, or even how it can be a turn on. And then it dawned on me; how long has sex in general been looked at as bad, wrong, sinful, immoral, disgusting, perverted and base? What were you told growing up about sex? How about sex before marriage? Could fetishism just be some deep psychological rebellion against what their parents expressed as acceptable and “right?” Or is it the acting out of parental hangups about sex, beauty, love and life? As I view this first picture on the left I see a few things at work. I see a woman with a clothes pin pinched on her pieced tongue. Is there something she isn’t supposed to talk about? Her head is being shaved; was vanity and beautiful hair ever an contentious issue in this persons life? This is supposed to be exciting? A turn on? Well, when you were young, did you ever have sex 
in the house while your parents were home? Did you find it exciting to do something you weren’t supposed to do? Was it a turn on to almost get caught?
Since a bald woman isn’t a regular part of what is “acceptable” in the mainstream media or society, I think this adds to the appeal with fetishists. But what is a fetishist anyway? I believe that a fetishist of any kind needs that object or body part to get off sexually. The list of fetishes are extensive! Smelly feet, defecation, animals, hands, hair color, latex rubber outfits, S&M, size and shape of a woman or man, piercings, tattoos, fantasy incest, angry clown sex, objects…you name it and it has probably already been an active part of someone’s sexual life.
It can be a totally selfish and self serving sexual behavior that cares nothing for the other person. But for every self-serving fetishist, there is an equally self-serving partner…so I think they are kind of made for each other, don’t you? There are women that shave their heads because it’s a turn on to them and they know there is an audience for their brand of sexuality. Does that make it wrong? As objectionable and disgusting, immoral and base as you may feel it is, it’s how these people choose to live their lives and express themselves sexually.
I wonder what will happen if more women decide to make it acceptable to be bald in public and in society. Will it be as much of a turn on to the fetishist? I must clarify something though…I don’t believe if a man feels a bald woman is beautiful, it automatically makes him a bald fetishist. There is beauty to the female form, and when her hair is gone it allows the face, bone structure, eyes, nose, lips and smile to be seen clearly. Hair is no longer a distraction. Some men are actually surprised that they find a bald woman attractive. I would hate for them to feel shame in some way because they find bald women beautiful or sexy.
I have spoken to many women who are bald not by choice but because they are Alopecians. These are women who have lost their hair and now feel preyed upon by bald fetishists. They feel objectified by a fetishist’s advances, and rightly so! These are women who are NOT a part of the bald fetish fringe group and do not wish to be exploited or used to fulfill some strange sexual fantasy of a man who can’t seem to get it up without the assistance of looking at a bald woman. This of course adds to the excitement for the bald fetishist because “they’re advances and compliments aren’t welcome” by the Alopecian woman and this in turn adds to the appeal.
I have had a very good experience being an Alopecian woman, and while there have been some fetishists that have contacted me online, for the most part they have been far and few between. I don’t feel every man that thinks I’m sexy or beautiful is under suspicion of being a fetishist. I accept the compliment and allow my beauty to be acknowledged.
If you are a bald fetishist (male or female or both), leave a comment and let me know what the appeal is for you.
If you are an Alopecian what are your feelings about bald fetishists?
If you are neither but have a ready opinion…tell me what you think!
Bald Beauty of the Day
How Long Will This Go On?
When women first start to notice that they are losing their hair, they feel an overwhelming rush of fear come over them. There are so many questions that unfortunately remain unanswered while in pursuit of finding the root cause of our hair loss. We can become overwhelmed, isolated, withdrawn and completely undone as we begin to watch our hair fall on the floor, on our clothing, caught in the shower drain and stuck in the hair brush. We dread taking a shower because of the massive amount of hair that seems to shed following a shower or a bath. What used to be a pleasurable and relaxing experience turns to anxiety and fear and the horrid anticipation of the next massive shed. Our lives can come undone as we begin to think we are petty and vain for caring about how our hair is missing. We hear comments from those around us (and even from ourselves at times) stating, “It’s only hair!” but it is so much more than that. If it wasn’t such a big deal to lose our hair, then why all the commercials and advertisements for hair care products? Hair is beautiful, and it is a part of who we are physically, so when it departs from us, it can leave us feeling unattractive, depressed, fearful of intimacy, and obsessed about finding out how to get it back. When I became a member of The Woman’s Hair Loss Project Network, one of the questions most frequently asked by others was “How long will this go on? How long will I continue to lose my hair and what can I do to get it back?” When new women join our community which I lovingly refer to as “The Great Sisterhood,” they are first struck by the amount of support and tenderness from our many members. Each woman has her own hair loss story, but in the end, regardless of how much or how little hair you have lost the emotional toll and feelings are always the same.
We are all growing and changing…each and everyday. I never knew that I could have good female friends and have them love and care about me. It moves us into a better place. Each woman on the Network is my teacher and for that I am so grateful. I cherish each one and love to watch them grow and step out of the shadows of their pain and aguish.
Hairloss may have brought us together, but what we learn along the way is that there has been a part of us that was empty….a longing unmet that is filled to over flowing because we reach out to others and we also reach in to ourselves. We cry tears of pain and aguish, but over time, those tears turn into joyful tears of appreciation and amazement…because we are seen, cherished, loved and respected right where we are. For the first time in our lives, we don’t have to put up a front or perform….we are just free to be who we are inside.
The Women’s Hair Loss Project Network becomes the catalyst to rediscovering who we are as we reflect on other women’s thoughts and emotions poured out all over their blogs and in their comments. We see so clearly that we have so much more than hair loss in common with them and it brings a sense of balance and peace to our hearts and lives. It moves us in a new direction that reaches out to those who are hurting because we have been there and it gives those in the throws of panic and despair hope for renewed strength.
Other members of the Network understand when new members say ”I’m not as strong as you, and I know I will never be that strong”, because we were there in that place once. New ladies that sign up feel hopeless and lost, and we whisper softly and tenderly to them helping to restore their lost dignity, self confidence and self worth. We are so much more than our hair and being among these ladies teaches us that on such a profound level.
When we become more confident and gather more self worth in our being, we sit in amazement and wonder what changed? How is it that we became so very different from the first day we joined? The answer is that we dug down deep into our souls and we mustered up new strength we never knew we had, and while we were digging we saw all the faces of those who were just like us. We realize we aren’t crazy, we aren’t neurotic, and we aren’t worthless…we realize our own humanity and we cry with tears of joy that we are understood.
It is truly a beautiful thing to behold, and yet we are not impervious to falling into the mire again. We find that even though we may wallow for a time in the mire because it is a strange and old familiar feeling, our time in that place becomes less and less. Our strength also gives us the ability to step into the mire of another woman and yet not be sullied by its effects. We sit with her there and listen to her story. Sometimes we sit in silence and other times we speak tenderly and compassionately to her, all the while, reflecting on our own journey when we felt the same exact way.
We are a sisterhood of hope and change…of life and love…and of courage and strength.
