Bald Fetishism

I wanted to address a topic that is rather heated in the lives of women who live as Alopecians; the bizarre world of bald fetishists. I have gone to a number of bald fetish sites to see what the fascination is with a bald woman and try to make sense of this odd sexual proclivity. Women shave their heads for a variety of reasons, but as I am discovering, it is about power for a woman. And for every “powerful clean shaven woman” there is an awestruck willing man erect and waiting to be subdued. I wanted to look objectively at this group of participants, because I believe women are just as much apart of the bald fetish world as men are. I wanted to understand exactly what the big “turn on” was and why this particular fetish makes men go nuts and blow their load.

The picture on the left shows two women involved in fantasy roles, one as a dominate and the other as a submissive. For the sake of staying on the conservative side, I am not showing the rest of the picture. The woman being shaved not only has a clothes pin on her tongue, but she is topless with clothes pins pinched to her breasts as well, and from the waist down she is wearing a plaid Catholic school uniform skirt, white knee high socks and shoes. For me, it’s hard to see what the great appeal in this is, or even how it can be a turn on. And then it dawned on me; how long has sex in general been looked at as bad, wrong, sinful, immoral, disgusting, perverted and base? What were you told growing up about sex? How about sex before marriage? Could fetishism just be some deep psychological rebellion against what their parents expressed as acceptable and “right?”  Or is it the acting out of parental hangups about sex, beauty, love and life? As I view this first picture on the left I see a few things at work. I see a woman with a clothes pin pinched on her pieced tongue. Is there something she isn’t supposed to talk about? Her head is being shaved; was vanity and beautiful hair ever an contentious issue in this persons life? This is supposed to be exciting? A turn on? Well, when you were young, did you ever have sex in the house while your parents were home? Did you find it exciting to do something you weren’t supposed to do? Was it a turn on to almost get caught?

Since a bald woman isn’t a regular part of what is “acceptable” in the mainstream media or society, I think this adds to the appeal with fetishists. But what is a fetishist anyway? I believe that a fetishist of any kind needs that object or body part to get off sexually. The list of fetishes are extensive! Smelly feet, defecation, animals, hands, hair color, latex rubber outfits, S&M, size and shape of a woman or man, piercings, tattoos, fantasy incest, angry clown sex, objects…you name it and it has probably already been an active part of someone’s sexual life.

It can be a totally selfish and self serving sexual behavior that cares nothing for the other person. But for every self-serving fetishist, there is an equally self-serving partner…so I think they are kind of made for each other, don’t you? There are women that shave their heads because it’s a turn on to them and they know there is an audience for their brand of sexuality. Does that make it wrong? As objectionable and disgusting, immoral and base as you may feel it is, it’s how these people choose to live their lives and express themselves sexually.

I wonder what will happen if more women decide to make it acceptable to be bald in public and in society. Will it be as much of a turn on to the fetishist? I must clarify something though…I don’t believe if a man feels a bald woman is beautiful, it automatically makes him a bald fetishist. There is beauty to the female form, and when her hair is gone it allows the face, bone structure, eyes, nose, lips and smile to be seen clearly. Hair is no longer a distraction. Some men are actually surprised that they find a bald woman attractive. I would hate for them to feel shame in some way because they find bald women beautiful or sexy.

I have spoken to many women who are bald not by choice but because they are Alopecians. These are women who have lost their hair and now feel preyed upon by bald fetishists. They feel objectified by a fetishist’s advances, and rightly so! These are women who are NOT a part of the bald fetish fringe group and do not wish to be exploited or used to fulfill some strange sexual fantasy of a man who can’t seem to get it up without the assistance of looking at a bald woman. This of course adds to the excitement for the bald fetishist because “they’re advances and compliments aren’t welcome” by the Alopecian woman and this in turn adds to the appeal.

I have had a very good experience being an Alopecian woman, and while there have been some fetishists that have contacted me online, for the most part they have been far and few between. I don’t feel every man that thinks I’m sexy or beautiful is under suspicion of being a fetishist. I accept the compliment and allow my beauty to be acknowledged.

If you are a bald fetishist (male or female or both), leave a comment and let me know what the appeal is for you.

If you are an Alopecian what are your feelings about bald fetishists?

If you are neither but have a ready opinion…tell me what you think!

Bald Beauty of the Day

Is it vanity for a man to discuss his hair loss?

The dictionary defines vanity as a “lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness; something worthless, trivial or pointless,” so this definition begs the question…Is it vanity for a man to discuss his hair loss?

Why is it that in our society men are taught that they shouldn’t care about how they look because “they’re men.” Yet there are tons of commerials and advertisements showing pictures of men who “get the girl” or “get that new job” or are more successful because they have a full head of hair. BUT they aren’t supposed to talk about it!

Lets go back to the word vanity and break down the definition for a moment to see if it is really vain for a man to care about his hair loss…

• A lack of real value: Does hair have value to a man? Hum? YES! It is something they are born with and come to be physically identified by, unique and special in his own right.
• Hollowness: Is it empty or hollow for a man to be concerned about his appearance? Women are often concerned not only about their own appearance but also a potential mate! So is it hollow for men to be concerned about their appearance? Hell No! Attraction is important so lets not kid ourselves about it.
• Something Worthless: Is it worthless for men to express their feelings of being scared, confused and lost when it comes to hair loss? That is a big NO in my opinion. When men can openly talk about the issues they face and can get good positive support for hair loss solutions, they begin to move in a new direction emotionally and physically. They begin to set new goals, reach for their dreams and pursue potential love interests.
• Trivial or Pointless: Is talking about hair loss trivial? I beg to differ! Reaching out to a good support network or forum of hair specialists and hair loss advocates can actually help rebuild self esteem, self worth and a sense of dignity back into the lives of men, and there is nothing trivial or pointless about that.

There are so many good options available for men who are losing their hair and my hope is that more men reach out and begin to talk about the issues that concern them. One of the greatest resources I know of for men is The Bald Truth with Spencer Kobren. His radio show broadcasts Sunday nights at 8:00pm EST on XM Extreme Talk 152 and for great support and contact with reputable doctors who can answer questions about hair restoration and for talking with other hair loss sufferers, the Bald Truth Talk forum is where it’s at!

Self Acceptance is a Hard Mistress

I always think of self-acceptance as a “Hard Mistress” if I am not married to it. In our lives during the times of hair loss, we may “mess around” with self-acceptance, but never fully commit to it. This makes self-acceptance a mistress instead a life long lover and partner. We make self-acceptance a temptress, seductive and alluring, but always some how just beyond our reach, calling on her when we are bored with what we have chosen to “marry” and be our life long partner.

I, like so many other people out there chose to “marry” the acceptance that the world and society said was right for me. She was that perfect beauty, ageless, flawless, always fun, carefree and rich. I chose her because everyone around me told me that she was worth it, and that I would be happy if I espoused her and embraced her. But on my wedding night I found that she was not at all what everyone told me she would be. She was cruel, harsh, demanding and full of contempt for my imperfections. She was impatient with my frailties and found them to be totally unacceptable. She mocked me for not looking like the “beautiful people” and said I was less than worthy when I needed her most. Her love for me was based only on what I could give her and how I could make her feel and she gave nothing in return. Her love was an illusion and her beauty faded. I began to avoid her, isolating myself and retreating from all her friends. I feared rejection from her so I kept trying to please her!
But along came this mistress called self-acceptance. She could look deep within my soul and see me for who I was. She had a way of making me feel so special and when I was with her time stood still. She was wise, caring and knew me so completely. When I gazed upon her, it aroused me to be a better person, filled with passion, drive, courage, and life. But she wanted more than I was willing to give and I wasn’t willing to leave the one I married. Feeling hurt, my mistress retreated and hid from me. One day I was filled with jealousy because I saw her with another lover! What could I do to have her back? How do I tell her that she means more to me than the one I chose to marry?

Shall I go home to the one I married, miserable and defeated? Or shall I find my mistress and take her once again and make a committment to love her and adore her…to cherish her and show her just how much she means to me.
She will accept nothing less than that, and that is why she is such a Hard Mistress.