This One is for You Men

Ok men, I have some questions for you and since I’m asking questions, I would LOVE for you to answer some of them. Think about what I’m going to say and answer honestly. My questions are about the fears that many women who are going bald have about their men leaving them or not being able to find a suitable mate because they are losing their hair.

So…here it goes:

You meet a woman unexpectedly and you are immediately attracted to her. You get to know her and guess what, you fall in love. She is everything you have ever wanted in a woman and she adores and loves you fully. Everything is going great for the first two years and now you are even considering marriage. Then, all the sudden her mood changes. She is less intimate, avoids being touched and is constantly in the bathroom looking at her hair. She doesn’t talk to you about it because quite frankly, she is afraid that she is going bald and that you will leave her. In her panicked state, she becomes even more withdrawn and emotionally she is no longer there for you. She doesn’t look at you the same anymore. She doesn’t even turn you on any more. Is it her hair? Or is it her attitude? Your woman finally confesses that she has been dealing with hair loss for a number of years and she is frantic about taking that next step with you. Her fear has gotten the best of her…or has it? Does she in fact have something to worry about? Will you leave her if she loses anymore hair? She shows you the areas of thinning hair, and you smile at her and say “I don’t see what you’re talking about.” Now she’s crying because either she is crazy or you are just being nice. She wanted to tell you sooner, but didn’t want to lose you. Is that shallow of her or would she be right on the mark thinking that you don’t want her anymore? How would you men feel if you knew the love of your life was losing her hair? Would you feel helpless?

Once the cat is out of the bag so to speak concerning hair loss, it opens up yet another door…endless chatter about her hair loss. Her inner compulsion and obsessive behavior about how her hair looks is now out on the table and it seems that is all she wants to talk about. You look at her and don’t know what to say and she cries again. Now she is crying all the time! So you are turned off, and now you don’t want to even listen to her anymore. Is it her hair? Is it the way she looks? Or is it something else?

This goes on for days, and days turn to weeks and months and all the sudden you look back and two more years have passed. Are you brave enough to stick it out or are you having second thoughts about this woman? She doesn’t look like she used to, she certainly doesn’t look at you the way she used to and its hard to always be talking about the same damn thing day after day. She is constantly asking you to check out her bald spots. You can see they are getting much worse, but you tell her that you love her no matter what. She says she wants a wig, she wants a laser comb, she wants $15,000 worth of laser therapy, she wants a hair system that gets glued to her head that costs $5,000 and then $250.00 per month thereafter, she wants a hair transplant, she has read extensively online and is purchasing more and more products that promise to grow hair. Are you in it for the long haul? What would you do? Would you support her in her quest to look “normal” and if so what are your real feelings about all of it? Or maybe you would give her what she wants just to shut her up so that you can both go back to your lives the way it was before she opened her mouth and told you about her hair loss problem.

Nothing you do snaps her out of it. You compliment her and she rejects the compliment. She doesn’t believe you. Over time you stop giving those compliments. You want to take her out for her birthday, but she would rather stay at home in a dark room looking up hair loss cures. You are incredibly hurt at this point…but are you in it for the long haul? Would you leave her then? Why the fuck would you stay with a woman like that? She is driving you crazy. You still get horny from time to time and she won’t come near you and if you touch her she flinches or is really tense. Why do you stay? Are you a glutton for punishment? Or is there more?

More time has passed and now she looks hideous. You are afraid to tell her that she looks like a cancer patient. She tries so hard to make her hair look full, but at this point it is no use. She definitely needs either a wig or she needs to shave it all off. Which do you prefer? The wig? It doesn’t stay on all the time you know. How about the bald look? Now, you aren’t going to offend me if you don’t think the bald thing is for you. But how do you feel about it? Would you embrace your wife or lover bald? Look at her! She is dieing inside. All the beauty has left her eyes and she never smiles anymore. What do you do? Would you finally leave her? What if she wanted to finally be done with all the hair and she wanted you to shave it all off for her. Would you do it?

You both come to the decision to shave her head. You look at her sitting there in the chair crying as usual, but something feels so right about shaving it all off. You take out the buzzer and shave off the first piece. Damn that feels good huh? Its like you are taking away the one thing that has put a wall between you and your lover! All the sudden, she’s not crying anymore. Its strange, but you come around the front of her and she looks peaceful, serene…beautiful. The silence is deafening in the room and then you start the buzzer again. You shave the rest of her hair off and she is as calm as a Hindu cow. She feels her head, but you can’t wait to look into her eyes again and as you do, you see your woman for the first time in years. Her eyes are shining, she is smiling, peaceful, and best of all, she is looking at you the way she used to. You take the next step and pull out the shaving cream and razor. She is ready. You lather her up and take out the razor and begin shaving her head. Why does this feel so right? Why does it feel so good? Do you want to leave her now that she is completely bald? Or are you in it for the long haul?

You take a long look at her and realize that she is just as stunning as the first day you saw her. There are new feelings of love that are sparked…new passion ignited. Is it because she now has no hair or is it because you just shared something so intimate? In the moment of her greatest fragility, you treated her with tenderness and love…

How do you feel about her now?

That little story is typical in the life of a man who lives with a woman suffering with hair loss. Many women will be able to relate to the story, but how many men can relate too? Women are deathly afraid of losing their hair, but even more afraid of losing their man. Does the fear turn into reality? I believe it can, but not because she is losing her hair…its because of her attitude and self consumed obsessive behavior. I believe that men deserve more credit for the love they have to share. You men constantly amaze me with the amount of tenderness and compassion you have. I know about this because you see, that little story is similar to what my husband went through. Did he stay? Absolutely. Is he in it for the long haul? Most certainly.

Ok, here is another scenario…

You see an attractive woman with GORGEOUS hair…man oh man, she is the full package. She’s beautiful, funny, great body and she’s got you. She also has a secret. You know she is hiding something, but you don’t pay too much attention. Then one day she drops the bomb on you…she was wearing a wig for the six months you were dating. She decides to take that wig off and show you because she is all torn up inside about hiding it. You are stunned. Is it her hair? Or is it the fact that she didn’t tell you in the first place? She didn’t know if she could trust you, but now she is in love and wants to get it all out in the open. Her hair doesn’t just look bad, it is god awful! Chunks of hair missing and not just that, the beautiful blond wig once removed revealed the true color of her almost non-existent hair. Do you run for the hills? Is the wig important to you? She has taken the attitude “If you love me it shouldn’t matter what I look like, and if you can’t handle it, screw you.” You are scared. You have never seen such a thing before, except on old ladies in the supermarket that try to tease their hair up and dye it red to look “younger.” What do you do? Is she still the full package, or is she damaged goods?

Here’s two more for you, and then I’ll shut up:

You meet a woman and there is something “off” about her. You are so drawn to her eyes and smile that you don’t notice that she is in fact going bald. Its noticeable. Would you date her? There is something about her that has you intrigued, and standing there beside her is a woman that has a full, thick beautiful head of hair, and she is stunningly beautiful…but she isn’t intriguing. What do you do? Would you go with the one that was intriguing or the one that seemed “perfect?”

Would you approach and ask out a completely bald woman? You have never seen one in person before, and now you can’t take your eyes off of her. You are stunned that you find her so attractive. What do you do? Is it her lack of hair that attracts you or is there something in her eyes?

Bald Beauty of the Day

My Husband Turns Thirty

Tomorrow April 2nd, my sweet, sexy and gorgeous husband turns thirty. I know you are probably all doing the math right now right? If I’m forty, uh, then he must be ten years younger! Yes, I married a younger man.

My kids like to joke about the age difference with the following statements:

“When you had Gina (my oldest), Dom was only in the third grade.”

“When you had all four of us, he was just graduating from high school.”

“When you were a freshmen in high school, he was only four years old!”

Yeah, yeah, they like to razz me about the age thing. It does seam weird right? Its strange to me that when I hit puberty my man was being potty trained, singing “the wheels on the bus go round and round,” and playing with his little hammer and toys. How bizarre. When I lost my virginity he was in the first grade, finger painting, singing songs and learning how to use a pair of scissors.

I have to thank his parents though for creating him and raising him to be the man he is. He truly is my better half, and life would be dull, lifeless, bland and very lonely if he was not sharing his life with me. I feel totally blessed to be married to this wonderful person. I just want to go back in time and meet him when he was so young. (Don’t get all perverted on me now!) Have you ever looked at your mate’s pictures from when they were young and thought to yourself “how fun it would be to play with him/her and talk to them”; to go out on the playground for a few hours, make deals and switch lunch, and talk about what we are going to be when we grow up.

While that would be fun, nothing compares to being groped in a pair of “Big Girl Panties.” Yes, this man wanted to chase me all around the house in them. His love and devotion to me never seems to fade. It grows stronger with each passing day. It is an amazing feeling to be loved in that way. To be adored, cherished and held in the highest esteem. It is what every woman dreams of. I didn’t know it was possible to have a relationship with a man and NOT argue at least once a day. They say it’s supposed to be healthy to argue and that if you aren’t having any fights there is something wrong with your marriage. I don’t know who thought up that little beauty, but I prefer the marriage I have now to any other relationship I have ever been in. There is something very freeing for a woman when she knows that she is being listened to AND heard. When she has a thought or an opinion, she isn’t talked down to or treated in a condescending and demeaning way for expressing that opinion. Being free to grow as a woman is important, and feeling that it is ok to make mistakes as well as to be supported in that growth process makes her feel even more secure in her relationship with her man. No mind games, no trying to get his point of view across so that he can be right, because he realizes that we are on the same team reaching for the same goal…to love and understand one another. Its priceless, not just for our relationship, but for our family as well.

For his birthday I am giving him a few cyber gifts, since he is living 2,000 miles away from me.

A pair of Siamese Love Twins. There are two sides of me and this way he can have both at the same time!

Tango Lessons, because it has always been a secret passion and dream of his for us to do the tango:

Looking into my crystal ball, I see him home with me soon! And when he gets here, we will celebrate his birthday the way that all couples should celebrate…in their birthday suits!

Stop by his site and wish him a Happy Birthday! Here is the link:

The Knipfing Report

Happy Birthday Babe! I love you so much and I can’t wait till you are home for good!

Bald Beauty of the Day

He Came Home to See Us

On March 18th two major things happened. We were up bright and early to take Noah and Shoshie to the airport seeing them off for spring break and later on that day, Dom was set to arrive in Albuquerque coming home until March 22nd.

Dom decided not to shave the whole time that we were apart and it was quite a surprise to see him with a full beard. He looked like a rugged mountain man, sexy, desirable and ready to pounce! I didn’t know what Simmi would do when she saw him with the beard, but all she did was look into those caring, kind and penetrating eyes…see his smile and hear his voice and she lit up smiling and squealing. Yes, Poppie was home! I have been away from the computer and took time off from my work to concentrate only on us. It was such an emotionally charged four days, filled with laughter, tears, excitement, playtime and fun. We let the world fade away and made the most of our time together.

I wish I had more time with him and I hope soon that he will be home for good. It was quite an eye opener for him to see our home and what we live with. Its one thing for me to tell him that we are living bare boned, but it is quite another to see it in the flesh. Walking into the house, he slowly scanned each room and I could see the concern in his eyes. The reality of our life and what we have (and don’t have) was overwhelming to witness. We have dishes, cookware, silverware, a table and chairs. There is a couch and chair in the living room and a small TV, three mattresses that sit on the floor and boxes that pose as tables. There are no curtains or blinds on any windows, and we each have enough clothes to get through one week. Looking at our unfinished floor was probably the most difficult to view. When we ripped the carpet up, there was just concrete there. The concrete is partially painted from the last tenants and there is glue stuck to the floor where they glued down the foam that goes under a carpet. Its not pretty, I’ll give you that much! In an effort to cover up the bare concrete and protect us from the chemicals and dust that come up through the pores of the concrete, I put down a very heavy duty plastic tarp. This tarp is BLACK like a garbage bag and sealed at the middle seam with duct tape. The sides are stapled to the wall trim. It is perhaps the ugliest thing that we have to look at every day. At this point we can not afford to do any further work on the house because we need to save money to get Dom home here for good. He will have to drive cross country to get here with his car and the last time he did that in December (bringing my car here) it cost well over $700.00 in gas, food and lodging. But I have to say that with him being here, regardless of what we have or don’t have, our house felt like home. He completes it all and fills the house with warmth and love. With him here I didn’t even notice our missing curtains or forced minimalist style.

Saying goodbye was hard, but it was hardest on Simmi. She does understand what “bye bye” means, and as soon as she heard him say that she began to cry…and then scream. It was a hurt sounding cry, deep and sorrowful. When he gets back to Maryland he is going to try to put together a benefit concert to raise money for him to get home and for things we need here in the house. I thought it was a really cool idea, but I often have doubts about how much we can raise. Its a tough time for everyone in this economy.

If anyone would like to help us out, there is a donation button via Paypal on my side bar. Any amount would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

Bald Beauty of the Day

Good News and Big Girl Panties

OK, I have some really good news to report. A few days ago when I was talking to my man, he told me he spoke to our landlady and she will NOT be selling the house. He had a heart to heart with her, and by the end of the conversation she said that she would continue to rent to us. (I don’t know why I’m putting this picture of myself up on the left!)

I’m very relieved that we won’t have to look for another place to live. I had so many big plans for this house, so my mind is shifted back to completing the large task at hand–painting, repairing and replacing the floors, and designing the kids rooms. We don’t mind making the investment as long as we can stay in the house for at least five years.

I just thought I would share that with all of you. I’m giving a big cyber hug (((HUG))) to all those who have kept us in their thoughts and prayers through this past week. I felt like it was the week from hell.

Now, the title of this piece is “Good News and Big Girl Panties” so by now you are probably wondering about those big girl panties right?

Well…

A few weeks ago my husband and his mom decided to go shopping for some clothes for me and kids. They wanted to send a nice package filled with lots of goodies and much needed clothing. Dom asked about the sizes of the kids and I, and I gave him all the information. Now, over the last two months I have been busy getting clothing needed for the kids and I didn’t bother to buy anything for myself. Basically I have one pair of jeans, a few white tee-shirts, about five pairs of underwear and some socks…oh, and a jacket. But that’s it. A really nice lady here in NM donated some yoga pants and shirts to me, and those are great for around the house, but I can’t wear them out. Anyway, Dom was excited to get me some new clothes and I usually trust his judgment…he has great taste in clothing and shoes.

Last week the long awaited package arrived, and filled of excitement, I ripped open the box. His mom lovingly wrapped each our things and put tags on everything (it was like Christmas all over again). The kids were in school at that time, so I just opened the stuff for Simmi and I. Her stuff was so cute, and mine…uh, well, I stood there smiling and trying to process what I had just received! The first thing I grabbed were two pairs of jeans. I unfold them and WOW! BELL BOTTOM JEANS! I don’t mind a boot cut, but I started to chuckle at these things. In my mind, I started to see myself as the late Latin Diva Selena. Damn the bottom of them were wide! No problem though, because I could just cut the bottoms and make carpi’s out of them. Then I take out the next thing; polyester beige grandma pants with a complete elastic waist! Oh my, now I’m laughing. There were also tee-shirts which were very nice but what took the cake for me was the underwear. I told him not to get anything too sexy since he was out with his mom, but that I wanted something nice. I didn’t pay attention to the size of these things because I was looking at the picture on the cover and wondered what the hell he was thinking even getting this kind! Here is a picture I took of the package:

I’m wondering if he even looked at the STYLE of underwear that he chose for me! I would never wear underwear like that. Maybe he was busy looking at the hot chick wearing those underwear since she is the only one in the universe that could pull off such feat and still look good!

Since I was really in need of underwear (you can never have too many) I decided to open up the package and see exactly what they looked like. I took a picture of that too, just so you could see just how huge these things are! He must have gotten the wrong size for me, because when I opened them up, I never bothered to see what size they were….UH…..size HUMONGOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

I put this fantastic pair of panties on top of Simmi’s stroller so you could see the sheer magnitude of these things! I can cover the stroller with them!

Just for shits and giggles I tried them on. Let-me-tell-you, that when I say these things were big on me, I mean HUGE. They literally came up past my ribcage right under my boobs! I even went over to the mirror just to see what I looked like in them. I nearly pissed in those things laughing so hard!

So it got me to wondering if he wasn’t really thinking about the chick on the cover of the underwear box, but instead if he was thinking of the two hot ladies that he told me he hooked up with in a moment of weakness, because to tell you the truth, he must have been thinking of them when he bought me those Big Girl Panties! Here he is with his “lady friends.” I was suspicious after seeing those panties, so I hired a private detective to see what Dom was up to. I got the picture on the right in the mail from the private eye.

Tonight Dom called me to tell me that he is coming home to see us in two weeks and that was such a great surprise. It has been almost two months since I last saw him. I have an awesome night planned for him when he gets here! Wine, candle light, figs and olives, and of course all I will be wearing are my new big girl panties!

My Husband Cyber Dissed Me!

I’m flustered! I’m aghast, perturbed and grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Today, my incredibly sexy man calls me to say hi and see how my day is going and as we are talking, he says the funniest thing to me:

“One of my friends on Face Book loves your website.” At first, I thought “wow, how cool is that!” but then I couldn’t stop blinking and my mind went blank. Why, you may ask? Well, in that moment I realized my own husband dissed me on Face Book! I was silent for a second, and then for two, and he asked me what was wrong. I started grinning and said “What do you mean one of your friends on Face Book loves my website? How long have you been on Face Book?” He starts laughing and said that he told me all about how he signed up and found all his friends…UH, OH NO HE DIDN’T! OOOO! I told him that he said no such thing to me! He knows I’m on Face Book, so I asked him why he didn’t add me as a friend? Now he is laughing wildly, and me…I’m still grinning from ear to ear. I wanted to hear his defense.

Why didn’t he add me? So then I asked him this next question…”Did you add your mom to your friends list?” He paused for a moment and said “My mom is on Face Book?”  Oh, his brothers and ALL his friends from high school and college are on his list (even old girlfriends)…but not me or his mother? What’s up with that? Here is a screen shot after I went to Face Book to look him up:

Nervously he is still laughing and confessing that he has no idea how he could have let this slip by. I told him there was only one thing I could do about such a major slip…exact my revenge on him in my blog!

When I couldn’t hold my laugh in any longer, I let out the most sardonic laugh and he knew in that moment that I was actually going to write about this little “incident.” I razzed him for a while about it and he was relieved that I thought the whole thing was hilarious. I wanted him to stew for a bit, thinking that I was really upset about it, but he couldn’t see my face on the other end of the phone line! I couldn’t stop smiling. It was such an innocent mistake (or was it? hmm? LOL), but I wonder how many wives who’s husbands are away for long periods of time would look at it and wonder if he was trying to hook up with an old flame, or find a nice warm body in his area.

I trust him with all that is in me, and one thing that I know about relationships is that it is important for our mates to maintain good solid friendships. He actually has quite the social life out there in Maryland, going to concerts, hanging out with friends at the bar, meeting up with long time friends and I wouldn’t have it any other way. He was feeling guilty last week because I am all alone out here with no support system, friends or family. Then he asked if I had a problem with him going places and doing things with his friends, I said “Oh hell no, are you kidding me? Someone in this family has to go out and have some fun!”

I adore that man! YUM!