If Someone Strip Searched My Child I’d Charge them With Sexual Assault!

I don’t usually put out more than one article in any given day, but I guess I couldn’t wait till tomorrow to rant about this! Is it right for a school to strip search a student? Why would this even be up for debate? If someone strip searched ANY of my children, I would bring charges of sexual assault against them. Who the fuck do these people think they are? We are calling it a “strip search” but if a child is FORCED to take their clothes off and humiliated, even if they are NOT touched, I’d bring charges of sexual assault against them! No one, and I mean NO ONE has the right to make children strip down naked in school. Even more absurd is the fact that 13 year old Savana Redding who was strip searched was violated because someone somewhere said that she might have prescription medication on her person. What? Ok, well would it be ok to strip search her if she was accused of carrying heroin on her person? It would be ok then, right? Its NOT ok! And shame on anyone that feels that it is perfectly acceptable to do so because schools need a policy to keep other children safe. Bullshit!

What’s wrong with these people? I don’t care what the “intention” was for stripping a child naked. Is it supposed to be OK to do so if a parent is present? If the school called me in because my 13 year old was accused of selling prescription drugs and wanted to do a strip search I would deny them that access. Does having parental permission make it any less humiliating or even more acceptable? It’s NOT acceptable.

I can not even begin to imagine the humilation this child has had to endure. That is an emotional scar that will stay with her for the rest of her life. How violating for her and worse yet is the school standing behind such a policy and defending their position! Lets now add insult to injury. I hope they plan on suing the school and if the school, which was found in violation of her 4th Amendment rights desides to appeal the Supreme Court’s decision on the matter, they should get double compensation! It is like violating this child all over again.

Here is a link to Savana’s affidavit about what happened that day:

http://www.aclu.org/pdfs/drugpolicy/redding_savanaaffidavit.pdf

Bald Beauty of the Day

American Airlines Sucks the Big One

March 18th was a nerve racking for me. I was putting my two children on a plane alone for the first time to go and see their dad for spring break. When I first inquired about them traveling with American Airlines, I was helped by a very nice woman who assured me that the kids at no time would be left alone from the time I left them until they arrived and were released to their father’s care. I asked the woman on the phone to hold the amount quoted to me until the next day. Well, the next day rolls around and now I’m on the phone with someone else and ready to purchase the tickets. I give my confirmation number to him and he tells me that it will be more than what was quoted. An argument ensues and now I’m pissed off that they are not honoring the price that was quoted less than 24 hours earlier. It seems that the woman who reserved the flight for us the day before forgot to add $100 for the trip returning to Albuquerque. I begin to explain to the man that the woman who reserved the flight for us and quoted us the price should honor the amount. He counters my statement with “You are just trying to get away with not paying the unaccompanied minor fee for the trip home. You should have known by the simple math that something wasn’t right.” He continues to berate me, explaining that “usually one parent pays for the fee upon departure and the other parent pays for the fee on the way back.” My mouth was dropped open at that point. I NEVER explained my situation or that they were going to meet their father. That never even came up. He just assumed it. My kids could have been flying to see their grandparents or other family members, yet he chose to treat me like I was some desperate single mother trying to trick American Airlines into paying for one of the fees. What was I going to do? I needed to book the flight so I bent over and let American Airlines give it to me!

But it doesn’t end there. The day came to take them to the airport and unfortunately for some reason I thought the flight was at 7:30am. We were pretty much ready to go and I just needed to get the itinerary and flight information and we would be off, when I discovered that we might actually be late for the flight. We quickly got everything loaded in the car and headed to the airport. We parked and rushed to the check-in. We still had about ten minutes to the cut off time (you must be checked in 30 minutes before departure). I was so happy we made it. We got to the counter and I said to the woman “We made it!” and she asked which flight. I told her and she said “No problem, you have time.” At that point she excused herself for a moment, came back and said “This man will help you as soon as he is done.” I looked at her perplexed but I still felt confident everything would be ok. The man to the right of her was chattering away with a couple he knew and they were talking about cookies. I stood there wondering why he wasn’t doing his job. Then finally he begins to check the kids in when he says, “Oh, I’m sorry but you will have to take the next flight out because you missed the cut off time.” I told him I was here ten minutes before the cut off and he said that when we got to him it was past the cut off time. Gee, I wonder why? He was so busy talking about those cookies that he didn’t even notice that we were standing there. But what the fuck was up with the original woman who told me that I still had time? What was she doing the whole time??? She was checking in other people!

I continue to argue with the man and he says that he had a flight leaving at 1:30pm and that wouldn’t arrive in Philly until 9:30pm. I told him that this was unacceptable and he proceeded to tell me that it would be ANOTHER $150.00 for catching that flight! I felt like I was being scammed! I told him AGAIN that I was here before the cut off and that his co-worker referred us to him and that we have been waiting all this time. He asked her and she told him that was actually what happened because she didn’t know how to do an Unaccompanied Minor check-in. So he didn’t charge us the $150.00 but said that we STILL would have to take the 1:30pm flight because the next flight out was booked up. I told him absolutely not, and to get them on the flight that was leaving in exactly 20 minutes from now. He did it and off we ran to the security check point. I was allowed to bring my kids all the way to the gate and see them off, and the attendant gave me a pass to go. Because Simmi was also with us and because of her age she did not need a pass…but this particular security officer did not know that. She held us up for over 10 minutes calling her supervisor. I told her that a pass for the baby was not necessary and she didn’t believe me. Her supervisor came and he told her the same damn thing! So now we had to fight our way through the crowd and go through to their gate. We ran all the way and as we got to gate the plane was pulling away. We missed the flight anyway. I explained to the woman at the desk the whole story and she looked at the tickets and says “Oh, these tickets are for the flight at 1:30pm.” HUH? The man never switched them back and booked us for that 1:30pm flight after all! I started getting even more aggravated and she got the kids on the very next flight leaving at 8:00am. This is the same exact flight that the other man said was sold out.

I watched as my kids boarded the plane and I waited till it left the runway to leave. They were so excited and thrilled to be traveling alone. When they got to Philly safely I felt like I could finally rest. From now on, I will be calling all other airlines to schedule flights for my children. I NEVER want to put them on one of American Airlines planes again. I feel they didn’t honor the amount quoted, then proceeded to insult and accuse me, and finally tried to milk another $150.00 out of me due to their incompetence. They have lost my respect and my patronage.

Bald Beauty of the Day

Uncertainty Grips My Soul

I have been keeping busy over the last few days making changes to my blog, tending to family needs, and feeling crushed under weight of uncertainty. At times I feel as though I can not breathe, and I find my mind going blank as my soul screams out.

My husband dropped a bomb on me a few days ago and I have been filled with anger and disbelief; expressionless sorrow. He called to tell me that our landlady is going to sell the house that we just moved in to. What? How could this be? Before we signed the lease and moved in, we told her father (who has power of attorney on the property) that our intentions were to stay for a long time because we are not in a position to purchase a home. The house is in need of a lot of TLC, and we were prepared to do the work necessary to make it suitable for Simmi. About two weeks after we moved into the house, the landlady’s father had four massive strokes. He was our advocate, and the one who assured us that we would be able to live here for an extended period of time. Now he is fragile and weak, barely able to speak. He needs physical therapy for his hand skills as well. So what does all this have to do with the uncertainty that grips my soul? Well, the landlady wants to put the house on the market so she can purchase a house for her family. She needs the money from the sale of our home to make that possible. Where do we go now? We just moved in here! There is a part of me that completely understands that she needs to take care of her family, but there is another part of me that feels irrational and wants to make judgements. I want to sympathize with her dilemma, but I feel disappointed that she doesn’t understand what we have been through as a family. To be completely honest, I find it callous of her to call my husband, knowing full well our situation, and tell him that she is selling the house. Is there any compassion in this woman’s heart? We lost everything we owned and we are rebuilding our lives. I feel as though we are being kicked while we are down. My anger is palpable and always close to the surface, making me a walking time bomb for which I am ready to unleash the fury of my sharp tongue and irrational accusations. Her parents live right across the street from us, and yesterday her mom came over to ask if I had an item she could borrow to help her husband work on his hand skills. This is the sweetest and most adorable woman ever. I am really fond of her parents, but as her mother was walking over to my house, I felt this surge of fury well up inside of me. I tried to compose myself, but I know she could see in my eyes that something wasn’t right. I couldn’t even smile when she came to the door, and as she asked me for the item she wanted, I had a half cracked smile of disdain and just kept “um hmming” her. Then I let her know kindly that we didn’t have that particular object, but we used to before we lost everything.

I have all these thoughts that may not be far from the truth, and I hope they are totally wrong. My first thought after my husband broke the news to me was “We are being scammed!” If a landlord doesn’t have the money to make the necessary repairs to a rental they are paying a mortgage on, what is the best way to get it fixed up so you can get the damn thing off your hands by selling it? The answer is offer the renter a reduced rent and some money back each month for making the repairs. If she had no intention of selling right away, then we wouldn’t mind making those repairs. The investment for us is in the health and well being of our family. You can’t put a price tag on that, and there are things definitely more important than money! But why would I go ahead and settle my family into a home that we would have to move out of in six months? Does that make sense to anyone? It makes me rip roaring mad. It messes with the emotional well being of my family as well. It wasn’t enough for them to lose everything, and now we lose this too?

Are there other homes in my area that would be a good alternative to this house? Yes and no. There are homes in this area that are for rent that are WAY better than this house, but they have wall to wall carpeting. We can’t have carpeting because of Simmi’s skin problems. There are however certain types of area rugs that she doesn’t break out from. As I said earlier, we aren’t in a position to purchase a home, so how do we know we won’t be faced with the same situation with the next house we move in to? A friend of mine offered a suggestion to try and get an extended lease. I thought that was a great idea and in the back of my mind, at the same time I’m wondering what if the house were to go into foreclosure?

All of this is maddening at times. The uncertainty of what we should do next grips me and rips at me from the inside out. I need my children to feel secure and settled. Of course they are looking at this very differently…they see it as an opportunity to get the house of their dreams! They are not used to living in such a small house and they would love to see us get a bigger one that is new. Is that possible? Yes, but it comes at the cost of Simmi’s health.

Bald Beauty of the Day

Craigslist Trash or Treasure?

The picture on the left is a crib and dresser I purchased off of Craigslist last week. This is the photo they had posted and the cost for both the crib and dresser was $150.00. Although it had some scratches and wear, it was probably the best thing I have ever purchased on Craigslist. The crib is solid, safe and well made. It was priced right and posted just in the nick of time. I bought a new crib for Simmi when we moved out here, but it was falling apart a few weeks after use and it had gotten to the point where it was very unsafe for Simmi to sleep in. I plan on writing about that whole experience at a later time…for now, I want to rant a little about some of the people that list their stuff on Craigslist.

OK, the crib and dresser was a GREAT deal and I have absolutely no complaints about what we purchased, BUT as I look daily on Craigslist for furniture and other household items, I find myself getting really ticked off by the amount of fruit cakes on there trying to sell their crap as though they had some sort of rare treasure!

I have seen some things listed that I thought were accurately priced and from the pictures they post, I could see them getting away with the amount they were asking, but there are other posts that just piss me off. I’ll give you a few examples and you can tell me if you agree with their pricing:

Brown Leather Couch $250.00

“Brown leather couch with recliners on each end. Middle section folds down to expose cup holders, phone and controls for the built in massage. Call to come see this great couch. Cash only and must be able to haul it yourself.”

They want $250.00 for this thing! I don’t care how much they originally spent on this couch, would you purchase it for $250.00?

OK, this one is “nice” but look at the original price and what they are asking:

“Sofa Sectional Leather Tema Ekornes, sand color with walnut finish, reclining backs, double ottoman with storage and table. Paid $12,305.00 will sell for $4.100.00 cash FIRM.”

Why does this person think you are getting a deal if you buy his $12,305.00 sectional? Just because he was an idiot to purchase such an expensive couch to grace that “lovely” green carpet (not!), doesn’t mean that someone else who, for $4,100.00 could purchase a brand new leather sectional, coffee tables, lamps and a flat screen TV, should buy his crap. Yes, I said crap! Those seats look like the leather seats in “First Class” on an airplane that should not even be taking flights anymore!

How about this one:

“GE large capacity washer, Maytag large capacity Electric dryer $230 Firm for both, Individual sale $160 each”

How old are these units? They look like they are old as dirt! And where the hell is the handle to open the dryer? The washer looks like it’s “newer” than the dryer…they don’t even match. (Not that it’s all that important for them to match as long as they work well). Is this person kidding? Would you spend $230.00 on something that may or may not work? I don’t have a washer or dryer at the moment, but I could call them and tell them I want to test the units, bring over my dirty clothes, do my laundry and leave saying that I’m not interested. (That wouldn’t be a lie, that’s for sure!)

This one was just plain ridiculous:

Bedroom Suite $4,000.00

“This heirloom quality, circa 1950s bedroom set was manufactured by Kling Industries (which company, to my understanding, was subsequently absorbed by Ethan Allen). This substantial, solidly constructed furniture is in very good condition and shows very minimal wear. Made entirely from solid hard rock maple (no plywood, no veneer, no particle board - even the drawers are solid, dovetailed wood), this set consists of two twin beds (headboard, footboard, siderails, and slats), a large dresser (approx. 21.5″D x 54″W x 35″H) with height-adjustable (or completely detachable) wood-framed mirror (approx. 42″x32″), and a large chest (approx. 21.5″D x 37″W x 50″H). The dresser and chest each have a glass top protecting the solid wood surface. Today, a set of comparably made furniture such as this would cost in excess of $10,000. If you are tired of throwing your money away on junk that falls apart in a few years, this is your opportunity to purchase quality for a fraction of its value. I am selling only because we have too much furniture for our present home. The beds are presently not being used; the picture is of the headboard, with the footboard being stylistically similar.”

So let me get this straight, this person is selling circa 1950’s furniture that is solid construction for $4,000.00? Now, I’m not an auctioneer like my friend John Savo, but come on! Are these people really serious?

I can appreciate nice furniture, I really can. But isn’t it a little absurd to list things with a crazy price tag? It’s not new folks! It’s someones old used stuff. Some things are newer and in really good condition, but does that mean that they should inflate the price? How do these people come up with the price in the first place? Do they say to themselves “I bought this couch 30 years ago, and it was worth $500.00 back then…that was a lot of money, so I think I will ask for half of that. Yeah, that’s a good deal $250.00.” Try $50.00 bucks! There are a lot of college students looking for a deal especially if it is still in decent shape. Granted it would be a dated piece of furniture, but far more reasonable than $250.00. Maybe the circa 1950’s set is really worth $4,000.00 being that it’s an antique, but there are better venues for selling these types of items. I love antiques, they have a beautiful craftsmanship not seen in the furniture of today, and I have seen some gorgeous pieces listed on Craigslist that I would never criticize. They are just too lovely, but to me the above listing is just nuts!

Here is an another one:

Comfy, Comfy, Comfy $290.00

“Royal Blue Love Seat. In great condition. Reupolstered within last 6 months. Like new!! Come check it out!”

Here is one more:

This person originally had this retro couch listed for over $200.00 and now it’s free…I wonder why? He can’t even get someone to come and take it for free and re-posted after a “no show.”

I have to admit that there is something intriguing about this crappy piece of furniture, but to attempt to sell it for over $200.00 is pure insanity!

In closing, I know that times are tight for everyone, but lets be realistic about how we price our things! There are people out there that are buying used furniture because they can’t afford new stuff. If you purchased an item that was over priced and not even well made (like most furniture these days) try to be reasonable.

The couple that sold me the crib and dresser did something beyond making a few bucks back on their furniture…they helped to provide a very needy family with a safe crib and beautiful dresser for one very precious little girl. For that, I will be forever grateful!