The Denver Airport Murals

I do lots of research for my own curiosity, enjoyment and also to learn more about the different kinds of people that exist in our world…especially in this information driven age. You can go online and look up a bevy of information, all at your fingertips. You can find health information, connect with people from your distant past, explore cultures and religions, read blogs about anything that interest you, find ‘love’ and marriage prospects, make new friends, and the list will just keep going and going of what is possible at your fingertips. It seems endless what you can find online, doesn’t it?

Well, in my research of some medical curiosities, I found this random link to these rather terrifying paintings that are displayed at the Denver International Airport. I was jarred at first, looking at the depictions of the death of children, Nazi imagery, flowers, dead animals, happy children, and what seemed to be this collection of life and death, hope and despair, victory and defeat. What is one supposed to think of such things when viewing such a huge piece of artwork in a place like the Denver airport? At first glance, I thought to myself “what the hell is going on here?” And then I decided to read the “interpretation” according to the conspiracy theorist who’s site I stumbled on. It was a conspiracy of hate, the devil, mass extinction and servitude the author of the blog would proclaim. I began to look more on other sites after putting “Denver airport murals” into the google image search and found that all of them had theories about prison camps located under the Denver airport, places for aliens, mason and Illuminati conspiracies, reptilian people (that one was truly funny!) and I was left with this gnawing feeling in my gut that something just didn’t seem right about all this conspiracy talk. I searched for the artist’s name and found out that this man was a celebrated artist. His name is Leo Tanguma and once I got past all the minutia about how he was paid by some “shadow government”, I decided to go his website. Mr. Tanguma has the most beautiful artwork, and what he brings out through his art is no less than the truth driven home with feeling! So often artists are misunderstood, and I guess he is no exception to that rule.

There is a saying in the bible “From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks” and this is true of those who make comments on an artists work. The saying is really true in all situations though isn’t it? If your heart is true, you’ll speak the truth, if your heart is filled with lies and deceit and fear that’s what will come out of you, if you lack compassion in your heart, it will be known by how you speak and act toward others. This is an essential truth concerning the abundance of the heart.

I’d like to take another look at some of these paintings because Leo Tanguma has poured out his heart on canvas for the world to see. Are these really a dark conspiracy to kill man kind? Or is this a record of things that have already taken place? Some want to say the images are gruesome and macabre, and to that I would say yes! it is gruesome and macabre in that war and death is nothing pretty to look at. I would have to say it took courage and conviction for Mr. Tanguma to tell the truth about war and how it devastates humanity. We have no problem saying “We will never forget” when it comes to  9/11 and show images of the trade towers before and after. Why? Because we claim we will never forget. Well what about war? When others take the lives of the innocent? Should we just brush that aside? Or shall we never forget that as well? Mr. Tanguma’s portrayal of death and carnage is a way of saying “we will never forget” what has happened. Women, children and the elderly are often the most devastated by war and violence, and I feel that he captured that beautifully.

But I guess that others can view the death, carnage and mourning in his work as a clue as to what will happen to the rest of us in the future. In that, I must give them a little credit, because as the saying goes “those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.” But to me that is where the interpretation ends. We will all subjectively see what we want to see. Some will see only the carnage and death, hidden images of the devil and aliens, and others, like myself, will see an artist who decided to spit in the face hatred and bigotry and show it for what it truly is. In his portrayal of death, Mr. Tanguma showed the utmost respect and beauty of each of his subjects, as can be seen in the first photo of the black woman. Check it out again, and look at the fact that he didn’t take away her humanity, her beauty, her suffering. Even more relevant is the fact that she is clothed in her cultural identity. Each of his subjects alive or dead have a cultural identity…something that seems to get brushed aside in our modern times. His portrayal of the masked nazi holding different weapons is also culturally relevant through the ages. He combines all the attributes of war and destruction in the garb of a killer. Whether it is the German Nazi, the Arabian saber, the flowing robes of a Catholic monk, the modern machine gun, simple aggression at the tip of a knife, handguns, gassing, they are all accounted for in the aggressor. There is one thing I found extremely clever about his work in painting the aggressor with all his “equipment”, Mr. Tanguma included a hair brush on the shoulder of the aggressor. LOL How clever of him to include this item, because to me the hair brush stands for the vanity of war.

With compassion and heartbreaking meticulous care, he showed women mourning the loss of their children, people displaced and herded off like cattle, and the sadness of what happens during war. When viewing these images, I don’t think only of the past, I think of all the women and children that are being harmed right now in these needless wars in Afghanistan and around the world.  This is what the vanity of war does to humanity. It strips us down, and for what? For resources? For power? All war is vanity. Yet conspiracy theorists act like there is no war right now, so it MUST be what is to come. Are we so impotent in thought and deed that we do not realize that the wars going on at present are our responsibility? So yes, if you want to make a theory that these paintings are about some nefarious shadow government, well you better include yourself in that little factoid you’ve contrived, because you are just as guilty for the war, death, bloodshed and genocide as those who order it. If you voted for the war or were too apathetic to realize what the wars are really about, then that painting is about YOU. Don’t go blaming others for something that you had your hand in. If you want to really make a difference, then END THE WAR. Isn’t this a democracy? Leo Tanguma implicitly shows human suffering that has happened and many don’t really see that? Incredible.

But Mr. Tanguma doesn’t stop at war, he continues on with another topic…environmental devastation. There are four paintings he’s done at the Denver airport.

Everyone will see what they want to in these paintings. I’m no different obviously. I have my own interpretation of a few very controversial images in the paintings, but I’ll keep those to myself, because as I have viewed his other work, I have come to understand why he uses certain imagery. If you check out some of his other work on his website, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

In closing, before I show the rest of his work, I want to say that I hope that his work and the beauty of his heart will not be cheapened by conspiracy theories. With love and respect he captured what has happened to humanity at the tip of a weapon. His hope for mankind is poured out into his art as he shows children of different waring countries unite and wrap up the weapons of war to end the bloodshed. The hope of humanity rests in the hearts of our little ones, and they must learn the ways of peace, not the vanity of war. If not, they and we are doomed to repeat the past.

Here are more images from the Denver airport:

The above painting has a description from Mr. Tanguma’s website:

Smaller mural – The Present State of the Environment

Humanity, represented by multi-racial children, is shocked and saddened at finding our natural world in a trampled and abused state. Surrounding the youthful group are endangered or extinct wildlife species. The bewildered children view the Snow Leopard, said to be the most beautiful of the large cats, laid out lifeless before them displaying its exquisite fur and colors. To the left, a young girl gazes at a Great Auk in a display case, a vanished species made extinct in 1844. On the right front, a young boy touches a display case containing the last of the Passenger Pigeons, a species existing in immense numbers throughout the Eastern U.S., and finally extinguished in 1914. Shown also are a harpooned Gray Whale, a Kemp’s Ridley sea turtle enmeshed in a fishing net, and a wall mounted buffalo head. Fluttering over the central scene, is an agitated Quetzal bird, with parts of a display case ominously surrounding it, as if foretelling its extinction.

Behind these central images, a fire rages, consuming a rainforest, while in the foreground we see endangered plant life, such as the Holy Ghost Orchid, from Panama, the Flower of the Gods, South Africa and others. In the immediate foreground are three concrete coffins, each containing a young girl clutching cultural articles. These three girls symbolize our own humanity as victims of our self destruction, notably through war, slavery, genocide, exploitation and violence of all kind.

This second mural also has a description from his website:

Larger mural – A Hopeful Future in which Humanity Rehabilitates the Environment

On this mural, I depict humanity, represented by children of the world arrayed in national or folkloric costumes. They move from both ends towards the center, and are shown smiling optimistically as they strive to rehabilitate our natural environment. On the background to this jubilant procession, are depicted various temperate zones of our planet beginning, on the extreme left with the ocean, temperate forests, frigid, tropical rainforest, and desert.
These “zones” are pictorially described with relevant geographical features, as well as wildlife indigenous to those regions. For example, the Quetzal bird signifies tropical rain or cloud forests, while the Snow Leopard is representative of frigid mountainous environments. Moreover, these different zones are shown as robust and healthy, as are the various wildlife species depicted. This portrayal is confluent with the ideal of a rehabilitated natural environment resplendent in all its beauty.

The elated children, in the colorful and lively costumes of thirty-two nations, move happily to where a special and unique flowering plant is about to be placed in the soil. This flower, its radiating leaves reflecting all the colors of the rainbow, reveal within its folds the configuration of a small white dove (reminiscent of the Holy Ghost Orchid). With this image, I sought to symbolize a new appreciation of our environment as a spiritual as well as a physical entity, a precious and delicate domain entrusted to our care.

A Random Soundoff

There are times in a person’s life when sounding off becomes a vital part of their emotional health. Its good to voice opinion, speak our minds and find a way to be heard. I haven’t taken advantage of that in the last seven or eight months since my life has changed in so many ways. I’ve been pretty silent and kept many things to myself. I’ve done quite a bit of introspection, been through a mini-hellish health crisis, and I have a lot on my mind concerning the world, my family and life in general. Where do I begin when I have been away from my blog for so long? My last entry was in April February on this particular blog. I have posted on some of my other blogs, but this one has definitely suffered…and I apologize.

I see such a restlessness in others and I often wonder why they can’t sit still. By “others” I just mean people that I may see out on the street, in a blog or in the news. (This restlessness I see has nothing to do with those whom I may be intimately involved, like my children, husband or close friends.)  It’s like these people are so tightly bound inside that they can’t be free enough to just be still. To sit and appreciate their lives or those around them. It’s a restless malice and a need to blame everyone around them. There is a lack of contentment that causes them to want more and more from others. Whether its material goods, even though they have more than enough, or emotional demands that leave others feeling less than perfect. Why is there such ugliness and malcontent? So much anger covered over with a smile and a wicked deed made to look innocent and pure? Most don’t even know why they do it, but its like a drug for which they are hopelessly addicted. Malcontent. Anger. Deception. Placing blame on others. “My life is so horrible because so and so hurt me and I can’t get over it.” Let me tell you a little bit about that statement made by people the world over. Even I have fallen victim to such thoughts and actions in the past, and what I’ve learned is that such statements are merely an excuse for bad behavior and a lack of accountability. If a person would like to blame their hangups on past hurts, and then direct misplaced anger on an innocent person, all they need to say is “I can’t help it, I was hurt in the past and I have a hard time trusting others now.” What a crock of bullshit! Anytime such a statement is made they are not only lying to themselves but to everyone around them. They will also say “I can’t forgive so and so for what they did to me.” Really? You can’t forgive? You want to be forgiven if another was offended by something you did, but you can’t forgive? No…that’s the diving board from which a person takes a plunge off into the deep end of bad behavior and treating others like shit. “I can’t forgive someone who hurt me ten years ago, so I’m going to treat this totally new person in my life like shit because of it.” That makes no sense at all. It is nothing more than a way to excuse and justify your bad form.

It should be so crystal clear that such people who think they can get off the hook by stating “I can’t help being this way because I’ve been so hurt in the past” that these people are toxic human beings, incapable of true love or compassion. Narcissistic people are never truly concerned about those around them, just how everything is going to affect them personally. Even upon reading this blog entry, I’m sure that there will be those who do think and act with malcontent who will actually believe that I have written this with them in mind. Like it is a personal attack. Nope…not at all, I’m just here to say that its not so hidden and you can’t get off the hook so easily when it comes to your behavior.

These malcontents are not victims, but perpetrators who cannot seem to break the cycle of hurting others. Even though they know what it’s like to be hurt, they continue to hurt others ruthlessly. It’s an underhanded sneaky kind of ruthlessness usually covered over with some “good deed.” Why not just be forthrightly cruel so the real victim can make a choice as to whether they want to continue to be in relationship? The reason is, if a person can be underhanded and cover their tracks, when another figures out what they are doing, that perpetrator can say “how can you say such things after all I’ve done for you! What’s wrong with you? You are ungrateful, mean, and all I’m trying to do is love you.” Yeah, that sounds like love right?

So what’s the M.O. of these people? Their reputation is above all the most important thing. They need to look some what important yet act like they don’t care what others think. They are often involved in philanthropy of some sort, but will not truly give to their own families. They are kinder to strangers and those in need rather than those around them. They are always on the go, always moving around and looking like they are so busy. They make statements like “I don’t do anything for approval” or “I just want to reach out and help all the little children in the world” while not attending to their own children. Status is important, and acquiring things is extremely important. These people not only collect “things” but also other people. They look generous but they are very greedy. Nothing is ever given as a real gift, but has an emotional payment attached. They will use the word “misunderstanding” a lot, and nit pick at other people’s tiny imperfections.

How does a perpetrator free him or herself from the bonds of such sadistic behavior? They must forgive others and themselves. Forgiveness actually has nothing to do with letting the offending person off the hook. It is about freeing yourself from need to hate, to be angry, to be hurt and lead an unproductive life. Life is so precious, and shouldn’t be consumed with an unforgiving nature. Being unforgiving ages a person beyond their years, and it takes its toll on everyone around them. Forgiveness is freedom in disguise and it is the secret to contentment and enjoyment of others around us.

Some believe that they can’t forgive. What happened to them in the past was so horrible that forgiveness is not an option. Forgiveness is the only option if you ever want to find true peace, love, contentment and happiness.

Give forgiveness a chance.

My Art Therapy

On February 2nd I wrote a post titled “I Miss My Husband” and a comment was left for me that struck a cord. Here is the comment:

My Hair Demons

I have been shaving off my healthy hair for six months now, and the thing that usually happens to me during the time that I shave it is the urge to grow it back. I enjoy being bald because I no longer fret about unhealthy looking balding areas and thin hair, but there will always be a part of me that wants to feel my hair. Other women I know who have shaved their heads have expressed feeling that maybe they don’t have the “peace” about it that I have…but what is peace? I think many believe peace is a warm and fluffy feeling with some sort of permanent smile plastered upon the face. That is not the peace I feel inside. My peace is acceptance that I have permanently lost my hair in many areas of my scalp, knowing full well that I could have another flare that will take even more hair from me and there is nothing that can be medically done about it. I have a peace that everything will be ok as a bald woman and that I look beautiful whether I have hair or not. This is my acceptance and this is my peace. But there is another side of me that will always want to grow my hair back. It doesn’t mean there is a lack of peace or acceptance, because I have also accepted that I still do have hair. I can live in both worlds…although the “bald world” is far less stressful for me emotionally. If I decide to grow my hair back, I know the consequences of such a choice. It’s bitter sweet at best. I can once again feel my hair, but how it will look and the texture of it will sadden me profoundly. It means constantly checking to make sure that my balding areas are covered and using a wide variety of products to make it look more full. Sounds like a lack of peace doesn’t it? It is a double edged sword and this sword cuts both ways. I see so many courageous women on the Womens Hair Loss Project Network who are faithful to do what it takes to keep the hair they have. I’m just plain chicken shit! I find it easier to keep it all shaved off and go out bald, than to stand in front of a mirror and attempt to have “normal looking hair.” I lack peace in that department. When I had hair, I could feel my blood pressure rise in the bathroom as I tried to make my hair look halfway decent. It would take hours of messing with it and then I was still not satisfied with the results. Since I also have non-scarring alopecia, I wondered if being out of the moldy house would cause those areas of my hair to grow back as well…but then I shaved my head again, there are the same areas of missing hair to contend with. I’m not sure what I will do at this point. The urge to grow it back is strong, and I guess by writing this entry I wanted to remind myself of the pain as well as the pleasure of having hair again. I don’t know if it is worth all the heart ache. Would I do myself a huge disservice by allowing it to grow? I know there are so many options for women who are losing their hair, from Derma Match that can be applied to the scalp, to wigs, toppers and hair systems. Yet all these options seem to pale in comparison to being bald. I find it hard to imagine myself applying something to my scalp to make it look like I have more hair and I find it equally difficult to imagine myself getting a hair system which is extremely costly and requires maintenance.

Hair demons are difficult to deal with and yet I continue to give them latitude in my thought life! If I do decide to allow my hair to grow back, I know that I will just end up shaving it off again during the next flare up of follicle death. I never know when the next flare up will come, but it usually comes once a year. Mold is a trigger to my flares, and with the mold problem corrected I wonder if I will have a flare this year. If my hair loss goes into remission it will be even more difficult to fight the urge to let my hair grow. There is only one draw back to being bald…not being able to feel my hair! There are so many drawbacks to letting it grow, yet the only reason for me to grow it is to feel it. I wish I had more resolve or strength to grow it back and accept that my hair is just funky, thin and balding. Instead I take comfort in knowing that I control whether I let it grow or shave it off and I continue to fight my hair demons with the hope that someday the urge to grow it back will be no more.