My Husband Turns Thirty

Tomorrow April 2nd, my sweet, sexy and gorgeous husband turns thirty. I know you are probably all doing the math right now right? If I’m forty, uh, then he must be ten years younger! Yes, I married a younger man.

My kids like to joke about the age difference with the following statements:

“When you had Gina (my oldest), Dom was only in the third grade.”

“When you had all four of us, he was just graduating from high school.”

“When you were a freshmen in high school, he was only four years old!”

Yeah, yeah, they like to razz me about the age thing. It does seam weird right? Its strange to me that when I hit puberty my man was being potty trained, singing “the wheels on the bus go round and round,” and playing with his little hammer and toys. How bizarre. When I lost my virginity he was in the first grade, finger painting, singing songs and learning how to use a pair of scissors.

I have to thank his parents though for creating him and raising him to be the man he is. He truly is my better half, and life would be dull, lifeless, bland and very lonely if he was not sharing his life with me. I feel totally blessed to be married to this wonderful person. I just want to go back in time and meet him when he was so young. (Don’t get all perverted on me now!) Have you ever looked at your mate’s pictures from when they were young and thought to yourself “how fun it would be to play with him/her and talk to them”; to go out on the playground for a few hours, make deals and switch lunch, and talk about what we are going to be when we grow up.

While that would be fun, nothing compares to being groped in a pair of “Big Girl Panties.” Yes, this man wanted to chase me all around the house in them. His love and devotion to me never seems to fade. It grows stronger with each passing day. It is an amazing feeling to be loved in that way. To be adored, cherished and held in the highest esteem. It is what every woman dreams of. I didn’t know it was possible to have a relationship with a man and NOT argue at least once a day. They say it’s supposed to be healthy to argue and that if you aren’t having any fights there is something wrong with your marriage. I don’t know who thought up that little beauty, but I prefer the marriage I have now to any other relationship I have ever been in. There is something very freeing for a woman when she knows that she is being listened to AND heard. When she has a thought or an opinion, she isn’t talked down to or treated in a condescending and demeaning way for expressing that opinion. Being free to grow as a woman is important, and feeling that it is ok to make mistakes as well as to be supported in that growth process makes her feel even more secure in her relationship with her man. No mind games, no trying to get his point of view across so that he can be right, because he realizes that we are on the same team reaching for the same goal…to love and understand one another. Its priceless, not just for our relationship, but for our family as well.

For his birthday I am giving him a few cyber gifts, since he is living 2,000 miles away from me.

A pair of Siamese Love Twins. There are two sides of me and this way he can have both at the same time!

Tango Lessons, because it has always been a secret passion and dream of his for us to do the tango:

Looking into my crystal ball, I see him home with me soon! And when he gets here, we will celebrate his birthday the way that all couples should celebrate…in their birthday suits!

Stop by his site and wish him a Happy Birthday! Here is the link:

The Knipfing Report

Happy Birthday Babe! I love you so much and I can’t wait till you are home for good!

Bald Beauty of the Day

My Art Therapy

On February 2nd I wrote a post titled “I Miss My Husband” and a comment was left for me that struck a cord. Here is the comment:

I Miss My Husband

I feel I am at a loss these days. Being without Dom is becoming increasingly difficult and I find myself becoming depressed. I feel overwhelmed by all that I need to do here in our new home and I feel that he is missing out on so much because he needs to stay on the east coast for work. I miss him more each day, and even though we talk a few times a day by phone, it just isn’t the same as having him here to hold.

I was thinking of how much he means to me and while it helps me to get through the day, the reality of the situation sucks! As I write this, Simmi is whining in the crib with the most annoying cry I have ever heard. She is annoyed that I had to switch her to a different kind of bottle that doesn’t leak all over the place. All I can think in this moment is that I feel the exact same way as her. I just want to whine about the fact that Dom isn’t here and that there is nothing that can replace him. I miss the way he makes coffee in the morning for me and brings it to me all bright eyed and full of excitement to tell me about the day ahead. I miss after he leaves for work and going into the kitchen and seeing the huge mess he left behind of coffee grinds half spilled in the garbage can, the sugar spilled onto the counter, him filling up the cup too much and as he would stir everything together, it spilling all over the counter. Why do I love that? Sure he could have cleaned it up immediately, but he had more pressing things on his mind like being with me every moment he could before going off to work. I miss the way he used to blow up the kitchen creating fantastic meals for all of us and I loved watching him work his magic preparing gourmet meals or absolute flop meals. I smile thinking about how once he made Nacho Supreme for us and when he realized that there was no sour cream he improvised and used blue cheese. I know, I know, eeww! Blue cheese on nachos? Oh believe me it was horrible, but I loved the fact that he prepared that meal. I smile just thinking of how every one’s face looked when he said that he put blue cheese in the nachos. Then I laugh, then I tear up.

I love his deep voice and how he always tells me that he loves me softly in my ear or chases me around the house because “he just has to have me.” Most of all I miss his presence here and the joy he brings to not only me but also to the children. When he calls, they can’t wait to talk to him and tell them about their day or what has been going on in school. He talks to them everyday and it saddens me even more that he isn’t here to talk with them in person or work on some project together.

Being as resourceful as I am, and having the skills to complete the work that has to be done in the house alone, I find myself sinking into some despair. Sure I can paint, repair the heating system, change fixtures in the bathroom and kitchen, refinish the kitchen cabinets, switch out electrical sockets and light switches, install new light fixtures, put down new flooring, design what I want for the interior, repair holes in walls, mud, tape and finish walls…but it’s just not the same as having him here to share that with. Yes I can do ALL those things alone, but I love working with him and getting it done together. He is not only my husband and lover, but also my playmate!

I have tried to look on the bright side, and I have tried to convince myself that it will only be a little longer, but the reality creeps in and causes me to recoil and feel alone. Every time I go to do something, I think of how much he would love doing that thing with me. I love how messy he gets when he works and when he leaves stuff all over the place. He does great at painting a room and the finished product is awesome, but I always smile at the tracks left behind on the floor from splattered paint, stepping in it and tracking it around the room. Those are the small things that can get under other peoples skin perhaps, but they are the little things that I find so endearing about him.

I don’t know how women do it when their husbands are in the military or work for months away from home. I know that the cares and worries of the day tend to make time go by faster (or sometimes agonizingly slower) and I even know that there are wives that don’t exactly miss that their husband or partner is away because they are so freaking annoying. It’s like a little mini-vacation for them. But this man of mine is priceless beyond compare and I hate being away from him!

Each day that goes by the loneliness creeps into him as well. I hope that he will be able to come out to visit us in the next few weeks and I look forward to the day he comes home for good.

For any women that has a husband or partner that is away for long periods of time, how do you deal with it? There are plenty of things that a person can do to fill the time and create a diversion of sorts, but at the end of the day the pain of being apart is still there. How do you get through it all?

My Nurturing Husband

We all have our ups and downs when it comes to the struggles of being an Alopecian, and in my life, at the deepest core, there still is the deep root of being identified according to my hair. Although I came out of the “Alopecian Closet”, there are still parts of me hiding in there. It has taken five years for me to get where I am, and it will probably take another five before I have finally cleaned out the last remaining bits still left in that closet.

I didn’t come out of that place on my own though. It was my husband who knocked on the door five years ago, and asked me how long I would be in there. Full of gentleness and compassion, with conviction and concern, he didn’t push the issue…always staying close to that door, hoping that I would open it to him and share what I was doing inside. I would crack the door open just a little, and I could see his concern and love for me; but then I would close it again.

He wanted to nurture me. His desire was to care for me and love me through and through. During those times I opened up to him, he would lavish me with the uttmost respect and kindness, wanting to help heal the wounds of self-inflicted self hatred and loathing. He wanted to bathe me in his love and committment to me…but I had come willingly. I’m glad I did.

His favorite thing to do is to “bic my dome.” He finds it as enjoyable to bic me just the same as when he used to wash my long thick locs of hair. He loves taking his time, setting everything up, slathering me in shaving cream, and bic’n me with pride. I love feeling his warm hands full of shaving cream, his soft deep voice telling me his longings and secrets and his full heart ready to burst wide open because I “let him in.”

My Kids Want a Dog

I have always been a “dog person” but I really didn’t have a choice in the matter because I am one of those lucky people that has multiple allergies. You name it and I am probably allergic to it; and among this laundry list of allergies is a severe allergy to cats. While I have always secretly dreamed of sharing my home with a feline, I do have the option of having a dog. But what kind? Over the years I have had many different kinds dogs, from mutts to pure breeds…and I’m not sure what I would choose if I decided to once more go ahead and make a commitment to share my home with a dog.

My kids bring up the idea in different ways through out the week and they are relentless in their quest to make mom “see the light.” They talk about the days when we had our beautiful Bichon and how sweet and good natured he was. They reminisce about some of his most endearing qualities and remind me of just how much I loved him. He was a pure delight, always lifting our spirits when we were down and making us laugh with his quirky little habits. But the more they talk about him, the more I could never replace him with another Bichon. He was just too special to me and it breaks my heart to have to tell them no. Maybe I am warming up once again to the idea of having another dog, but again…what kind? What kind of dog do you share your home with when you lived with and loved the most special dog in the world? I feel that all dogs pale in comparison to him and in a way, think that maybe I would just spend my time comparing the new pup and feeling disappointed if he didn’t measure up to the legend that I have created in my mind about Chuka.