To Shave or Not to Shave
Shaving our heads because of hair loss is a deeply personal decision that no one should pressure another into. I made the decision to shave my hair off because I couldn’t bear to see it lying every where. Waking up and seeing it in my bed, on my pillow, all over my clothes and even in the crack of my ass! Every time hair fell out, I was reminded of my plight and then I would go and search obsessively for thinning areas. My hair started to get really thin, and because I hated the way I looked in the mirror and the new texture of my hair which was no longer soft or beautiful, I shaved it. It was a way of taking control of my hair loss, and bringing closure to my emotional pain. It actually allowed me to begin the healing process, because I was no longer concerned with how much hair was falling out and when it would stop. I stopped it! In shaving my head, I found over time that I actually look pretty baring my dome. You couldn’t have convinced me of that five years ago, but when I finally brought closure to my hair loss, I was able to see new possibilities for my life.
I always loved my hair and it was so long and beautiful…it framed my face and I could style it according to my mood. I would just about throw up getting so nervous every time I would go for a haircut, and I would sit there ready to pee my pants if the stylist took just a little more than I told her to. My hair was everything to me.
Well, after deciding to stay bald and not let my healthy hair that is left grow back in, I sat and looked in the mirror for a long time. I took everything in about my head, eyes, nose, lips, ears and neck. I looked for my beauty, and holy crap did I start to cry! I realized at that moment that with out my hair, there are no distractions to take away the curve of my nose, the hue and depth of my eyes, my peculiar shaped ears (which my grand baby inherited from me), the softness of my skin and the overall beauty of my face. How come I never noticed before? How could a “bad hair day” bother me so much back then, when my hair was never the attribute that made me beautiful?
