Happy Birthday Mr. Savo!

One of my favorite humor bloggers is Mr. John Savo of “The Authoring Auctioneer“. His wit, satirical rants and sarcastic views make me smile each and everyday.

Recently John wrote a piece called “I hate Christmas and Jesus does too” and in this entry he says:

“Yes, I hate Christmas.  Gross materialism and the pretense of gift giving aside, I despise the holiday for another reason: My birthday is December 28.  As a child, I always got screwed.  When my brothers and sister would receive more gifts than I on Christmas morning, my grandmother would always say to me, “Remember, you have a birthday coming up.”  No shit.  Really?”

So…John, I thought I would get you a few special things for your birthday:

Rudolph and a few of the elves decided that enough was enough, and turned Santa in. Although he is now out on bail, he will be arraigned on elf and reindeer abuse charges. Currently, Rudolph and a few of the Elves have been put into the Witness Protection Program and we are hoping that they will not change their minds about testifying. I thought this mugshot would brighten your day!

Next, since you have been in the auction family business, I thought some fine art would be in order:

I didn’t want to throw culture out the door, so I got VIP tickets for you and your wife Nikki to the premiere of your brand new opera “Apocalypse Smurf” with yours truly playing Smurfette!

To read John’s list of Inappropriate Musicals just click the link!

And finally, as a memento of the glorious day Santa’s career came to an end, I pulled some strings with the FBI and an inside source gave me the following magazine from Santa’s secret stash of porn! Since you are an auctioneer, I am giving you this rare copy of “Bush Tailed Beauties of the North Pole” to commemorate the event. I am sure that someday you will fetch a pretty penny for this great keepsake.

Happy Birthday Mr. Savo, thanks for making me smile everyday!