Someone is Posing as Me!

As of May 2, 2009 the picture on the left is me. That’s right, this bald chick’s hair loss is going in remission. I won’t know for another six months if my hair is stable, but for now it is. I have both scarring and non-scarring Alopecia. Scarring Alopecia’s technical name is Cicatricial Alopecia. The scar exists under the skin and no outward signs of scarring can be seen. Upon close examination of my scalp, you will however see that there are no openings for hair to grow. The holes are closed up. This is a permanent loss of hair that can NEVER grow back. I have these spots all over my scalp. I also have been through a wide range  of other forms of non-scarring Alopecia which is not permanent. Over the last five and a half years, I have not seen as much growth as I have now. I attribute this awesome hair growth to the lack of mold out here in the South West. Hair that seemed to be missing for so long has awakened like Sleepy Hollow. Those hairs that have been sleeping have chosen to awaken white as snow. It is definitely a very interesting look for me.

So here I am in all my glory. No make up, and newly growing almost full head of hair coming in. I posted that picture yesterday on the Women’s Hair Loss Project Network. Well, today, I get a private message on the Network from one of the ladies who was concerned about a blog site she stumbled upon and it had a picture of ME there. She gave me the link, and I was angry beyond all belief by what I saw. Let me give you a little background about the Women’s Hair Loss Project Network and Forum…

The Network and Forum were created to be a safe place for women to come and talk about their hair loss and seek comfort and support. I wrote an article about the Network if you would like to read it here. Anyway, one of the reasons I love the Network and Forum is that you will not find any kind of advertising for hair loss products of any kind. The owner of the site has dedicated her life to helping women who suffer from hair loss. There are lots of forums and membership sites out there and the one thing they all have in common is that they offer some sort of products. Now, there is nothing wrong with making money, but I believe that there should be at least one place in the whole of the world wide web where women can escape from being bombarded by someone peddling a wig, topper, laser comb, laser treatments, pills and potions all promising to grow that head of hair back. The hair loss product industry is huge! There is a lot of money to be made there. On the Alopecian Muse, I have also chosen NOT to sell any products related to hair loss. My reason? I believe that women can be beautiful bald, and if they see that there is yet another option in being bald, why not?! Not everyone can afford expensive wigs, hair systems, loony “laser therapy” that doesn’t work, hair loss potions, or harmful medication that may or may not help in the hair growth process. We are bombarded everyday with these things, and when you are a woman and you are going bald, you will try almost ANYTHING to get that head of hair back. One woman said to me joking around that if hair would grow back by strangers pissing on her head, she would let them do it just so it would grow again. Was she really joking? I don’t think so. Hair loss is such a deeply emotionally scarring process that leaves both men and women feeling less than beautiful. Less secure. Those of us who have experienced it have gone through times of isolation, pushing away even those we love the most out of self preservation.

So…who is the freaking poser? Well, it is obviously a new member of the Women’s Hair Loss Project Network. You wouldn’t believe it if I told you how many people peddling products sign up trying to sell their shit on the Network. Selling stuff will get you immediately banned from the site, but that doesn’t stop greedy people from trying anyway.

This woman copied pictures of me and a few other ladies on the Network and decided to post them on her blog as HER! Beyond the fact that it is not her in those photos, she is using the picture of ME and my new hair growth to sell an e-book titled “Reverse Female Hair Loss” written by a woman named Ashley Michaels. Why would this chick need to use pictures of women on the Network instead of her own? Not only that, but gives a bogus testimony? It is all a big lie and hoax! This woman is trying to get her piece of the hair loss pie and wants to use unsuspecting women to do so! Do you see anything wrong with that? Here are two screen shots of her site:

I plan on also leaving a nice little blog on the Network directed at her, so after I do that she may actually remove the site and/or pictures. I thought a few screen shots were in order just in case she does decide to take down the site. I will also be reporting this to the company she is trying to make money from…namely Ashley Michaels. There are genuinely sincere people out there that do want to help women with hair loss, and I don’t want to disparage Ashley Michaels name or e-book because I have not read it. I don’t know if her book is just a big lie, or if there is some truth to it. One thing I do know though…if I were selling an e-book and bogus claims were being employed, I would sue their asses for everything they got.

A little message for Miss Becky from “Becky’s Hair Loss Blog”:

Becky,

You have come onto the Network “claiming” to be a woman in need of support for your hair loss, but all you have done is show that you are a money grubbing, hair loss whore trying to make money off the misery and vulnerability of others. Why use our photos? Why not use your own? You make me sick beyond belief.

Go crawl back under that rock you came from you fucking snake!

No Longer Yours,

Angela

For anyone wishing to leave Miss Becky a comment on her blog about all this, I highly encourage it! She may end up removing it, so get over there as quickly as possible and leave her your thoughts! Spread the love my friends. What she did was wrong, make sure to let her know!

Here is her site:

http://beckyshairlossblog.blogspot.com/

Bald Beauty of the Day

If Someone Strip Searched My Child I’d Charge them With Sexual Assault!

I don’t usually put out more than one article in any given day, but I guess I couldn’t wait till tomorrow to rant about this! Is it right for a school to strip search a student? Why would this even be up for debate? If someone strip searched ANY of my children, I would bring charges of sexual assault against them. Who the fuck do these people think they are? We are calling it a “strip search” but if a child is FORCED to take their clothes off and humiliated, even if they are NOT touched, I’d bring charges of sexual assault against them! No one, and I mean NO ONE has the right to make children strip down naked in school. Even more absurd is the fact that 13 year old Savana Redding who was strip searched was violated because someone somewhere said that she might have prescription medication on her person. What? Ok, well would it be ok to strip search her if she was accused of carrying heroin on her person? It would be ok then, right? Its NOT ok! And shame on anyone that feels that it is perfectly acceptable to do so because schools need a policy to keep other children safe. Bullshit!

What’s wrong with these people? I don’t care what the “intention” was for stripping a child naked. Is it supposed to be OK to do so if a parent is present? If the school called me in because my 13 year old was accused of selling prescription drugs and wanted to do a strip search I would deny them that access. Does having parental permission make it any less humiliating or even more acceptable? It’s NOT acceptable.

I can not even begin to imagine the humilation this child has had to endure. That is an emotional scar that will stay with her for the rest of her life. How violating for her and worse yet is the school standing behind such a policy and defending their position! Lets now add insult to injury. I hope they plan on suing the school and if the school, which was found in violation of her 4th Amendment rights desides to appeal the Supreme Court’s decision on the matter, they should get double compensation! It is like violating this child all over again.

Here is a link to Savana’s affidavit about what happened that day:

http://www.aclu.org/pdfs/drugpolicy/redding_savanaaffidavit.pdf

Bald Beauty of the Day

Does Torture Really Keep America Safe?

Does torture really keep America safe? Who actually believes that? Beyond the fact that torture of any human being is reprehensible and disgusting is the “belief” by Mr. Dick Cheney himself that the release of the “Torture Memo’s” will make our country less safe. It will piss off the terrorists and allow them to “train” for such events if they are ever captured. Is it any wonder the Bush administration lied about it for such a long time? Isn’t it easier to cast doubt and make it look like some sort of open conspiracy than to actually admit to something as sociopathic and psychotic as torture? Who are we? We have known that torture has been going on since around 2002, yet we have chosen to blindly believe what the past administration told us.

Mr. Bush is a born again Christian after all! He believes in the sanctity of life, preservation of marriage between a man and a woman, oh and lets not forget about the ban embryonic stem cell research. I guess people taken in for questioning against their will because someone somewhere had possible credible evidence that the person had some kind of knowledge about an incident involving some kind of group, and then tortured repeatedly and kept against their will and against our laws without proper representation or even being charged with something makes them less than human and therefore open to such treatment. Did you understand what I just said? Should people be taken into custody, held against their will, tortured for YEARS because they “might” know something? How does that keep us safe? I wonder how many men actually know NOTHING at all, and instead of admitting that they were taken in and kept against their will and releasing them, the government just keeps holding on to them. What could be worse than the prison releasing them and sending them back to their country? Well, what would be worse is if those innocent people went back and told their story and their government bringing charges against us. So lets just keep them imprisoned. There are a lot of people being held not only in this country, but around the world, and the thing most certainly forgotten is the fact that these men haven’t been convicted of anything. Everyone is afraid of closing down Gitmo because where will the detainees go? EXACTLY! Where do they go? We don’t even know if they are guilty of anything. We just keep holding on to them.

The thought of releasing them to possibly go back to their country and plan an attack on us strikes terror in so many and is a part of the conditioning that we have had about Muslims or Islam since 9/11 happened. Part of that conditioning has been the ability to fling the law behind the previous administrations back and keep people detained for years without representation and without being charge with a crime.

So how do Christians feel about all this? Do you believe that it is a means to an end? That a little evil is ok for the greater good? I have noticed that the Religious Right has been very quiet about it. Why? You’re vocal about abortion, which is the snuffing out of human life and in many cases actually torturous for unborn children to endure before they are killed…so is the torture of an innocent full grown man any different? And if he is guilty, does that make it more acceptable? I guess the much quoted bible verse “Love your enemies” means something else huh? Now don’t get high and mighty with me, I’m not saying that you would have to invite these people into your home for a spot of tea, but how about speaking up for those who have no voice right now? You do it for the unborn, so why not for the ethical and humane treatment of real live human beings? Even PETA has nothing to say about this. I guess the torture of animals is far worse than the torture of humans.

Torture does not make our country safe. What it does is erode the moral fiber of our country and turn us into sadistic people if we continue to support such things. Christians may say that abortion and gay marriage and embryonic stem cell research actually erodes the moral fiber, as does pornography or drugs, but I will leave you with a final thought-

What does it mean to be godly? Do we really know? To be like the most High God, what does it take? I was asked that once and I had to really sit and ponder it for a while before I answered. My answer to that question was simple. In order to be like the Most High God, you must first realize that others have free will. God does not prevent us from making mistakes or from living our lives. While some might say the answer is to hate sin, or not be a homosexual, to not have sex before marriage, to not lie or manipulate, I believe that it goes even deeper. Its hard to give others free will. We live in a land full of laws. But when do we allow free will to kick in? Another thing I have heard is “Love the sinner and hate the sin.” Such things are directed at us, not the other person. We are to love those who may sin AND not do that thing we call sin. It isn’t meant to prevent others from living their lives, it is meant to offer up our own free will to our Creator out of love for Him and at the same time, reflect that same love back to those we believe are “sinners.” Free will was given so that we may love our Creator freely…to make a choice to direct our hearts towards Him and abide with Him. If we do not offer the beautiful gift of free will to others, are we reflecting the Will of God or the will of ourselves yet standing behind the words of God concerning His thoughts on a matter?

I’m sure that I have opened up a theological can of worms, but I had to say it. I have been pretty silent when it comes to topic of religion, so there it is. Religion is such a deeply personal choice, but I’m really interested to know what Christians in particular feel about the subject of torture. Is it a sin to you? Do you condone it? Or maybe you will take the moral high ground and claim that it was the free will of Dick Cheney and George Bush to institute such tactics. To that, I say that while they have free will, they are not above the law, and as such, while they do have free will and used it, there are consequences according to the law. So should they face those consequences and be charged with war crimes? Part of morality is justice, so will justice be denied? I have far too many questions and of course my own ready opinion…what I want are your opinions. What are your thoughts?

American Airlines Sucks the Big One

March 18th was a nerve racking for me. I was putting my two children on a plane alone for the first time to go and see their dad for spring break. When I first inquired about them traveling with American Airlines, I was helped by a very nice woman who assured me that the kids at no time would be left alone from the time I left them until they arrived and were released to their father’s care. I asked the woman on the phone to hold the amount quoted to me until the next day. Well, the next day rolls around and now I’m on the phone with someone else and ready to purchase the tickets. I give my confirmation number to him and he tells me that it will be more than what was quoted. An argument ensues and now I’m pissed off that they are not honoring the price that was quoted less than 24 hours earlier. It seems that the woman who reserved the flight for us the day before forgot to add $100 for the trip returning to Albuquerque. I begin to explain to the man that the woman who reserved the flight for us and quoted us the price should honor the amount. He counters my statement with “You are just trying to get away with not paying the unaccompanied minor fee for the trip home. You should have known by the simple math that something wasn’t right.” He continues to berate me, explaining that “usually one parent pays for the fee upon departure and the other parent pays for the fee on the way back.” My mouth was dropped open at that point. I NEVER explained my situation or that they were going to meet their father. That never even came up. He just assumed it. My kids could have been flying to see their grandparents or other family members, yet he chose to treat me like I was some desperate single mother trying to trick American Airlines into paying for one of the fees. What was I going to do? I needed to book the flight so I bent over and let American Airlines give it to me!

But it doesn’t end there. The day came to take them to the airport and unfortunately for some reason I thought the flight was at 7:30am. We were pretty much ready to go and I just needed to get the itinerary and flight information and we would be off, when I discovered that we might actually be late for the flight. We quickly got everything loaded in the car and headed to the airport. We parked and rushed to the check-in. We still had about ten minutes to the cut off time (you must be checked in 30 minutes before departure). I was so happy we made it. We got to the counter and I said to the woman “We made it!” and she asked which flight. I told her and she said “No problem, you have time.” At that point she excused herself for a moment, came back and said “This man will help you as soon as he is done.” I looked at her perplexed but I still felt confident everything would be ok. The man to the right of her was chattering away with a couple he knew and they were talking about cookies. I stood there wondering why he wasn’t doing his job. Then finally he begins to check the kids in when he says, “Oh, I’m sorry but you will have to take the next flight out because you missed the cut off time.” I told him I was here ten minutes before the cut off and he said that when we got to him it was past the cut off time. Gee, I wonder why? He was so busy talking about those cookies that he didn’t even notice that we were standing there. But what the fuck was up with the original woman who told me that I still had time? What was she doing the whole time??? She was checking in other people!

I continue to argue with the man and he says that he had a flight leaving at 1:30pm and that wouldn’t arrive in Philly until 9:30pm. I told him that this was unacceptable and he proceeded to tell me that it would be ANOTHER $150.00 for catching that flight! I felt like I was being scammed! I told him AGAIN that I was here before the cut off and that his co-worker referred us to him and that we have been waiting all this time. He asked her and she told him that was actually what happened because she didn’t know how to do an Unaccompanied Minor check-in. So he didn’t charge us the $150.00 but said that we STILL would have to take the 1:30pm flight because the next flight out was booked up. I told him absolutely not, and to get them on the flight that was leaving in exactly 20 minutes from now. He did it and off we ran to the security check point. I was allowed to bring my kids all the way to the gate and see them off, and the attendant gave me a pass to go. Because Simmi was also with us and because of her age she did not need a pass…but this particular security officer did not know that. She held us up for over 10 minutes calling her supervisor. I told her that a pass for the baby was not necessary and she didn’t believe me. Her supervisor came and he told her the same damn thing! So now we had to fight our way through the crowd and go through to their gate. We ran all the way and as we got to gate the plane was pulling away. We missed the flight anyway. I explained to the woman at the desk the whole story and she looked at the tickets and says “Oh, these tickets are for the flight at 1:30pm.” HUH? The man never switched them back and booked us for that 1:30pm flight after all! I started getting even more aggravated and she got the kids on the very next flight leaving at 8:00am. This is the same exact flight that the other man said was sold out.

I watched as my kids boarded the plane and I waited till it left the runway to leave. They were so excited and thrilled to be traveling alone. When they got to Philly safely I felt like I could finally rest. From now on, I will be calling all other airlines to schedule flights for my children. I NEVER want to put them on one of American Airlines planes again. I feel they didn’t honor the amount quoted, then proceeded to insult and accuse me, and finally tried to milk another $150.00 out of me due to their incompetence. They have lost my respect and my patronage.

Bald Beauty of the Day

Am I the Only One Confused About Politics?

Am I the only one that is confused about politics? Just when I thought I had seen it all, out comes Bobby Jindal, the Republican governor from Louisiana speaking to the American people as though we were all four years old. Granted, it was late…but come on! Could that little bedtime story be anymore condescending? As I sat there trying to comprehend what he was saying and put some sort sense to his “tall tale,” I couldn’t help but wonder if he was hypnotized by one of his fellow Republicans. He looked like a zombie, yet that wouldn’t be too far from the truth would it? It seems to me like Republicans are the walking dead these days. Oh, and there was something that struck me about his bedtime story speech that I just can’t get out of my head. He said something that I have heard before from other Republicans- “We haven’t even had a chance to read the bill.” OK, maybe I’m a little bit slow, but that bill has been available for them to read! It’s available for EVERYONE to read! As a matter of fact, I quite enjoyed reading one little tiny section of the 680 page bill (which I’m sure has gotten bigger since the last time I read it)…here is what tickled me:

“Page 12 Sec. 1109. Prohibited Uses

None of the funds appropriated or otherwise made available in this Act may be used for any casino or other gambling establishment, aquarium, zoo, golf course, or swimming pool.”

Wow! Those are the prohibited uses for funds appropriated. What will we do now? Those aren’t the only things prohibited in the bill, but I had no idea that casinos, aquariums, the zoo, or swimming pools were such a big temptation for misuse of our tax dollars. I could see golf courses being a bone of contention to our represented officials and maybe this is the real reason that Republicans have become the party of “no.”

Well, it’s just a thought anyway. Now that’s not to say that Democrats don’t play golf or go to zoo or anything, but I think something has to be getting under all these Republican skins, and maybe Bobby Jindal was their test pilot for how powerful hypnosis can be in persuading the American tax payer to come over to their side. Other attempts had failed so maybe this is their last resort.

Beyond the speech Bobby gave, it seems to me that he and many others like him haven’t read the bill. Is this an admission of guilt? We all know how important doing something about the economy is, so what are we paying them for? Does this sound right to you? How can they argue about something they haven’t read through? And why would they inject false claims of spending that isn’t even in the bill that they haven’t even read?

I never understood how each party could toot their own horn about how they have the answers. Both are equally guilty of making sure our country is run straight into the ground. They both want to spend, spend, spend, and yet there is justification on both sides about why their spending ideas are better. Dems want spending on programs that can create jobs, give health care, and improve the safety of our roads…Reps want lots of tax cuts and decreased spending. But it’s not decreased spending…it’s the same damn thing. OK, so we get the tax cuts…for what? So that the tax payer can go out and SPEND IT. What’s the difference? To me, neither party has the magic solution. I certainly don’t have a magic solution, but if I did this is what I would do:

• Find 50 statewide banks that are fiscally responsible, treat their employees well, do not practice predatory lending and have a grasp on risk management when it comes to lending money. After finding this kind of establishment, I would cut flood those banks with money and cut off all the big banks and allow them to go into bankruptcy. Let them figure it out.
• Then I would restructure the tax code and bring it back to a flat tax. Everybody wins with this one.
• Then I would get rid of the IRS and the Federal Reserve. When was the last time this private corporation was investigated?
• Last but not least, I would put a new water filtration device in the Pentagon, White House, Capital and any other watering hole where paranoid public officials gamble with the lives of our troops and others abroad. There must be something in the water that makes them all paranoid, thinking that we are always in “grave danger”…or maybe they just believe everything that is on the TV. I’d stop the war and leave other governments to fight their own battles.

Well that’s what I would do. It’s a simple list, coming from a simple person. You know, the kind that needs to be spoken to like I am in the 1st grade.

Bald Beauty of the Day

Uncertainty Grips My Soul

I have been keeping busy over the last few days making changes to my blog, tending to family needs, and feeling crushed under weight of uncertainty. At times I feel as though I can not breathe, and I find my mind going blank as my soul screams out.

My husband dropped a bomb on me a few days ago and I have been filled with anger and disbelief; expressionless sorrow. He called to tell me that our landlady is going to sell the house that we just moved in to. What? How could this be? Before we signed the lease and moved in, we told her father (who has power of attorney on the property) that our intentions were to stay for a long time because we are not in a position to purchase a home. The house is in need of a lot of TLC, and we were prepared to do the work necessary to make it suitable for Simmi. About two weeks after we moved into the house, the landlady’s father had four massive strokes. He was our advocate, and the one who assured us that we would be able to live here for an extended period of time. Now he is fragile and weak, barely able to speak. He needs physical therapy for his hand skills as well. So what does all this have to do with the uncertainty that grips my soul? Well, the landlady wants to put the house on the market so she can purchase a house for her family. She needs the money from the sale of our home to make that possible. Where do we go now? We just moved in here! There is a part of me that completely understands that she needs to take care of her family, but there is another part of me that feels irrational and wants to make judgements. I want to sympathize with her dilemma, but I feel disappointed that she doesn’t understand what we have been through as a family. To be completely honest, I find it callous of her to call my husband, knowing full well our situation, and tell him that she is selling the house. Is there any compassion in this woman’s heart? We lost everything we owned and we are rebuilding our lives. I feel as though we are being kicked while we are down. My anger is palpable and always close to the surface, making me a walking time bomb for which I am ready to unleash the fury of my sharp tongue and irrational accusations. Her parents live right across the street from us, and yesterday her mom came over to ask if I had an item she could borrow to help her husband work on his hand skills. This is the sweetest and most adorable woman ever. I am really fond of her parents, but as her mother was walking over to my house, I felt this surge of fury well up inside of me. I tried to compose myself, but I know she could see in my eyes that something wasn’t right. I couldn’t even smile when she came to the door, and as she asked me for the item she wanted, I had a half cracked smile of disdain and just kept “um hmming” her. Then I let her know kindly that we didn’t have that particular object, but we used to before we lost everything.

I have all these thoughts that may not be far from the truth, and I hope they are totally wrong. My first thought after my husband broke the news to me was “We are being scammed!” If a landlord doesn’t have the money to make the necessary repairs to a rental they are paying a mortgage on, what is the best way to get it fixed up so you can get the damn thing off your hands by selling it? The answer is offer the renter a reduced rent and some money back each month for making the repairs. If she had no intention of selling right away, then we wouldn’t mind making those repairs. The investment for us is in the health and well being of our family. You can’t put a price tag on that, and there are things definitely more important than money! But why would I go ahead and settle my family into a home that we would have to move out of in six months? Does that make sense to anyone? It makes me rip roaring mad. It messes with the emotional well being of my family as well. It wasn’t enough for them to lose everything, and now we lose this too?

Are there other homes in my area that would be a good alternative to this house? Yes and no. There are homes in this area that are for rent that are WAY better than this house, but they have wall to wall carpeting. We can’t have carpeting because of Simmi’s skin problems. There are however certain types of area rugs that she doesn’t break out from. As I said earlier, we aren’t in a position to purchase a home, so how do we know we won’t be faced with the same situation with the next house we move in to? A friend of mine offered a suggestion to try and get an extended lease. I thought that was a great idea and in the back of my mind, at the same time I’m wondering what if the house were to go into foreclosure?

All of this is maddening at times. The uncertainty of what we should do next grips me and rips at me from the inside out. I need my children to feel secure and settled. Of course they are looking at this very differently…they see it as an opportunity to get the house of their dreams! They are not used to living in such a small house and they would love to see us get a bigger one that is new. Is that possible? Yes, but it comes at the cost of Simmi’s health.

Bald Beauty of the Day

I Think I’m Getting Pissed Off!

As the Octuplet mom continues to draw heated criticism, I find myself getting a little pissed off! I’m not pissed at her though, and maybe pissed off isn’t the right word. Perturbed, disturbed, peeved, ruffled, and annoyed may be more appropriate to what I’m feeling right now. Again, strangely it isn’t her that has my eyebrows furrowing, it’s the public outcry against her. I guess I’m now some what emotionally involved (sucked in). I feel upset that people can be so uncaring at a time when, regardless of why she knocked herself up, these little ones are going to need to be cared for. I’m disturbed because her publicist had to quit after she and her husband were receiving death threats for helping Nadya Suleman. Why would any one feel it necessary to threaten this mother’s life or the life of her publicist? Death threats? Oh, and I’m supposed to now believe that these people actually have a valid argument for their disdain of Nadya Suleman? How can anyone who would make death threats against her justify such behavior? Are these people serious? Do you think it’s right to be so outraged by another person’s actions that it warrants taking their life? That’s just plain fucked up! I’m sorry, but if you are reading this, and you made death threats against this woman, you are worse than she could ever be! We hear the insults about how she is unstable or needs psychiatric help, but people who make death threats aren’t unstable or need psychiatric help?

Is it really all about money? For those of you who are so messed up over this, do you give to charities?

Do you want to know what is interesting to me?…that when a hurricane or other major catastrophe strikes, people look all concerned, they flood the victims with gifts and/or money, willingly take them into their own homes without knowing a thing about the person they are helping. They blindly give of their good will and resources because another is in need. The person who’s house burns to the ground is shown compassion for their plight and the community rallies to help and to heal.  What was going on behind closed doors BEFORE that house burnt down? Do you go down to the local hospital to find out if all their children are legitimate first, and then they’ll be worthy of your money? Do you make sure they are married, have a good head on their shoulders, have plenty of savings in the bank and did every thing right in their life?

During Katrina we saw so many beautiful people volunteer, but I didn’t see any of them taking a psychological profile and weighing their options of whether to help a particular person or not. No, they reached in and gave a hand. The truth is that we don’t really know anyone, do we. Everyone is so afraid that they will be scammed out of their money, but if it was given out of the goodness of your heart, the law of reciprocity is at work regardless if you’ve been scammed or not. You may think that a natural disaster or a house burning down doesn’t compare to what Ms. Suleman did, but consider that people make choices everyday to live in areas of the country prone to massive fires, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, typhoons and tsunamis. Do you judge them based on the location of their home? They made a choice to live in an area prone to fires, putting their family at risk…do you help? Of course we help! How about tornado ally? Florida? I wonder what kind of life these people lived before catastrophe struck. Can you imagine if their life came under the microscope? “So and so didn’t pay their taxes for a few years, filed for bankruptcy, beats his kids and wife and has lots of parking tickets…na! We aren’t gonna help that family, let them stew because the father made bad choices.” How about the recent power outage due to the ice storm on the east coast? Would someone refuse to take another family in during an ice storm because they found out that the mother had her own enterprising meth lab in the basement of her hovel? Would you turn her kids away if you had a generator, warmth and food?

Is Nadya Suleman being used as a scape goat? Is she the next justifiable reason not to give to a person in need? I have been thinking about this for a few days now, wondering to myself why I feel so much empathy towards her, and the only thing that I could come up with is the fact that she is in need, just as my family is in need. Granted, our situations are very different, but the needs are just as great. I see how my children struggle after losing everything that was precious to them, and when our family receives help or donations, their eyes light up filled with surprise and they feel special and thought of.

I want my kids to understand the value of giving to others and when they grow up, to take this dark time in our lives and turn it into something beautiful for another family that may be in need. I never want them to forget what we have been through, or how it feels to have others that may not even know us, gift us in someway, because that leaves an impression upon them and can create a legacy of giving to the next generation. I never want that spark of hope to be extinguished from their hearts and minds. They understand the beauty and satisfaction that comes with giving from the heart, and they never cease to amaze me by the thoughtfulness of their actions towards others. I believe that all children should be allowed to witness the beauty and generosity of a loving community, even if the parent or parents do not lead by example. Should the Suleman children be any different?

Bald Beauty of the Day

Craigslist Trash or Treasure?

The picture on the left is a crib and dresser I purchased off of Craigslist last week. This is the photo they had posted and the cost for both the crib and dresser was $150.00. Although it had some scratches and wear, it was probably the best thing I have ever purchased on Craigslist. The crib is solid, safe and well made. It was priced right and posted just in the nick of time. I bought a new crib for Simmi when we moved out here, but it was falling apart a few weeks after use and it had gotten to the point where it was very unsafe for Simmi to sleep in. I plan on writing about that whole experience at a later time…for now, I want to rant a little about some of the people that list their stuff on Craigslist.

OK, the crib and dresser was a GREAT deal and I have absolutely no complaints about what we purchased, BUT as I look daily on Craigslist for furniture and other household items, I find myself getting really ticked off by the amount of fruit cakes on there trying to sell their crap as though they had some sort of rare treasure!

I have seen some things listed that I thought were accurately priced and from the pictures they post, I could see them getting away with the amount they were asking, but there are other posts that just piss me off. I’ll give you a few examples and you can tell me if you agree with their pricing:

Brown Leather Couch $250.00

“Brown leather couch with recliners on each end. Middle section folds down to expose cup holders, phone and controls for the built in massage. Call to come see this great couch. Cash only and must be able to haul it yourself.”

They want $250.00 for this thing! I don’t care how much they originally spent on this couch, would you purchase it for $250.00?

OK, this one is “nice” but look at the original price and what they are asking:

“Sofa Sectional Leather Tema Ekornes, sand color with walnut finish, reclining backs, double ottoman with storage and table. Paid $12,305.00 will sell for $4.100.00 cash FIRM.”

Why does this person think you are getting a deal if you buy his $12,305.00 sectional? Just because he was an idiot to purchase such an expensive couch to grace that “lovely” green carpet (not!), doesn’t mean that someone else who, for $4,100.00 could purchase a brand new leather sectional, coffee tables, lamps and a flat screen TV, should buy his crap. Yes, I said crap! Those seats look like the leather seats in “First Class” on an airplane that should not even be taking flights anymore!

How about this one:

“GE large capacity washer, Maytag large capacity Electric dryer $230 Firm for both, Individual sale $160 each”

How old are these units? They look like they are old as dirt! And where the hell is the handle to open the dryer? The washer looks like it’s “newer” than the dryer…they don’t even match. (Not that it’s all that important for them to match as long as they work well). Is this person kidding? Would you spend $230.00 on something that may or may not work? I don’t have a washer or dryer at the moment, but I could call them and tell them I want to test the units, bring over my dirty clothes, do my laundry and leave saying that I’m not interested. (That wouldn’t be a lie, that’s for sure!)

This one was just plain ridiculous:

Bedroom Suite $4,000.00

“This heirloom quality, circa 1950s bedroom set was manufactured by Kling Industries (which company, to my understanding, was subsequently absorbed by Ethan Allen). This substantial, solidly constructed furniture is in very good condition and shows very minimal wear. Made entirely from solid hard rock maple (no plywood, no veneer, no particle board - even the drawers are solid, dovetailed wood), this set consists of two twin beds (headboard, footboard, siderails, and slats), a large dresser (approx. 21.5″D x 54″W x 35″H) with height-adjustable (or completely detachable) wood-framed mirror (approx. 42″x32″), and a large chest (approx. 21.5″D x 37″W x 50″H). The dresser and chest each have a glass top protecting the solid wood surface. Today, a set of comparably made furniture such as this would cost in excess of $10,000. If you are tired of throwing your money away on junk that falls apart in a few years, this is your opportunity to purchase quality for a fraction of its value. I am selling only because we have too much furniture for our present home. The beds are presently not being used; the picture is of the headboard, with the footboard being stylistically similar.”

So let me get this straight, this person is selling circa 1950’s furniture that is solid construction for $4,000.00? Now, I’m not an auctioneer like my friend John Savo, but come on! Are these people really serious?

I can appreciate nice furniture, I really can. But isn’t it a little absurd to list things with a crazy price tag? It’s not new folks! It’s someones old used stuff. Some things are newer and in really good condition, but does that mean that they should inflate the price? How do these people come up with the price in the first place? Do they say to themselves “I bought this couch 30 years ago, and it was worth $500.00 back then…that was a lot of money, so I think I will ask for half of that. Yeah, that’s a good deal $250.00.” Try $50.00 bucks! There are a lot of college students looking for a deal especially if it is still in decent shape. Granted it would be a dated piece of furniture, but far more reasonable than $250.00. Maybe the circa 1950’s set is really worth $4,000.00 being that it’s an antique, but there are better venues for selling these types of items. I love antiques, they have a beautiful craftsmanship not seen in the furniture of today, and I have seen some gorgeous pieces listed on Craigslist that I would never criticize. They are just too lovely, but to me the above listing is just nuts!

Here is an another one:

Comfy, Comfy, Comfy $290.00

“Royal Blue Love Seat. In great condition. Reupolstered within last 6 months. Like new!! Come check it out!”

Here is one more:

This person originally had this retro couch listed for over $200.00 and now it’s free…I wonder why? He can’t even get someone to come and take it for free and re-posted after a “no show.”

I have to admit that there is something intriguing about this crappy piece of furniture, but to attempt to sell it for over $200.00 is pure insanity!

In closing, I know that times are tight for everyone, but lets be realistic about how we price our things! There are people out there that are buying used furniture because they can’t afford new stuff. If you purchased an item that was over priced and not even well made (like most furniture these days) try to be reasonable.

The couple that sold me the crib and dresser did something beyond making a few bucks back on their furniture…they helped to provide a very needy family with a safe crib and beautiful dresser for one very precious little girl. For that, I will be forever grateful!

Obama’s Gateway Drug

What’s the deal and all the hype about Barack Obama smoking? Why is this such a big problem to anyone? I can understand the risks smoking can cause to some people, but does that mean we should dictate to our new president what he can and can not do in his own home? Is this “Operation Nanny State?” I never got the memo that smoking cigarettes was against the law! When did that happen? How long have I been asleep?

If smoking is President Elect Obama’s only vice, I’d say he’s doing pretty damn good! Especially since “W” had to quit drinking! There is a big difference between drinking and smoking, don’t you think? Do you think that “W” slipped up and knocked back a few strong ones while he had to make decisions about foreign and domestic policy? Maybe that’s what happened! Maybe President Bush fell off the wagon for a while, and in a drunken stupor wrote the “Bush Doctrine,” and when he woke up from his blackout, said “I did what?”

So what is everyone afraid of? Are cigarettes the new presidential “gateway drug?” If he starts smoking again, is he just a short step or two from purchasing a bong, hanging out in the Oval Office with Rahm Emanuel while watching “Harold and Kumar; Escape from Guantanamo Bay” to get ideas on how to shut that place shut down? Will he tell Michelle to get him and Rahm some Doritos and pizza and make a late night beer run? And since cigarettes can be a gateway drug, does the next logical step mean Obama would set up a meth lab in his new house and start dealing to the secret service, children and pregnant women? I think people need to get a life! Smoking is not illegal, so why treat him as though it were? Maybe people need something to pick on…especially people who don’t smoke. I was on a few other sites and I read the story about how Obama quit smoking but had a few slip ups, and I was amazed at the people who left comments. One person said, “yeah, he should quit smoking because it’s disgusting to kiss someone that has just smoked a cigarette.” Huh? Was this man planning on kicking up some kind of midnight rendezvous with the new president and his desire was for Obama’s mouth to be “minty fresh?” Others had more heartfelt concerns, such as “I hope he stays healthy and doesn’t start smoking again, for the sake of his family.” That makes sense to me, but it doesn’t mean people should dictate what he does within the dynamics of his family life.

I wonder if people are afraid of the kind of message it sends to the youth of this country. Maybe the fear is that if young people see President Obama is smoking, then that means it’s ok for them to smoke too. Do you think that could be it? Could it be smoking cigarettes would tempt young boys and girls to “light up” and be like their president? Do you think they would feel it was “so cool” they run out and ask an 18 year old to buy them some? Or perhaps go into their parent’s room and steal a couple? (Remember, research suggests that cigarettes are a gateway drug!) And of course that leads children down the dark road of smoking pot, doing crack, tapping the vein for some heroin, and starting their very own meth enterprise from their parent’s basement. If that’s the case, then what shall we say about President Bush? What kind of influence has he had over our children? I can name a few…how about jumping to conclusions about people we don’t know a lot about because they may look and act differently than us. How about rushing to judgement before knowing all the facts, and causing heart ache to those families both here and abroad. What about torturing our enemies, and bending the rules to serve his own purpose? How about not listening to wise council? And does not learning to get along with others have any influence over our children? How about turning a blind eye to the poor and speaking on behalf of the ultra rich? Humm? I’d say this president has influenced our children in a lot of ways, and not for the good. Maybe Obama can do it better…even if he decides to light up again.

At Death’s Door

My deepest condolences go out to the family of the 34 year old man and to the young pregnant woman who lost her baby due to being knocked down when the doors opened that Black Friday morning at a Walmart on Long Island, NY. Would anyone involved in the stampede like to come forward and claim responsibility for the lives that were snuffed out because of some hot sale at Walmart? What have we come to as a society? How absolutely mind boggling to watch and absorb the footage of people being trampled under foot just to buy stuff that’s on sale!

Did anyone involved in the trampling of these people even consider that they were stepping on human beings as their hearts raced in a rush to get that plasma TV and new DVDs? As they stepped on head and heart of human flesh, injuring and ultimately killing, did they decide “It was all worth it! I will go home and never give it a second thought, and when Christmas rolls around, I will wrap my gifts with love and lie to my children telling them some fat man in a red suit brought it to them because they were ‘nice.” Well I guess someone in the family should be “nice” because if you were involved in the deaths of an innocent man and an unborn child, what will you tell your children later on? It wasn’t you? You never stepped on any one’s skull or killed them in a mad rush to get that discounted item? Wow, I didn’t know that Walmart was worth killing for! I knew that they made a killing in sales around the world, and they kill small business owner’s livelihoods by making it impossible to compete, but stampede sales?

I’m curious to know something…

Did the authorities close the doors and take statements from every person involved in the stampede? Funny, it looked to me like they were just allowed to go and shop LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED! Why were they allowed to buy anything from the store that day? HUH? They should all be ashamed of themselves for this. Has anyone involved lost sleep over this? It has taken me since Friday to process all of this, and I still don’t have the proper words to say how I feel about the stampede at Deaths Door.

Update: Correction needs to be made concerning the pregnant woman…news sources now tell us that the pregnant woman did not lose her baby.