Craigslist Drama and Other Fun Stuff

Ok, I know I’m a bad girl for not posting anything in almost a month, but shit happens! Life has been a very interesting ride these days discovering links to a lot of Simmi’s developmental problems. I wrote about it and posted a video on her site if anyone would like an update on her. It is exciting and it actually has me on Craigslist more than ever trying to get things we need to accommodate her vision needs.

I read through ads in the Free section, Furniture, Household goods, General and Materials looking for that special shiny object or piece of furniture that would benefit her. We also need to get some new appliances because our fridge is on its way out and the dishwasher is too loud. Actually both are really loud and it affects her negatively. Our stove needs to be replaced too. Well, some time back (we got a newer dishwasher on the free section of Craigslist) we replaced our broken dishwasher with a newer one and I saw this ad for free haul away of old appliances. The only problem was that every time I went to get this guy’s number, his ad had been flagged. After about a week of constantly searching for him, I finally was able to view his number before someone flagged him again. His name was Mike and like his ad said, he hauls away ANY type of appliance. It didn’t matter what condition it was in. So I gave him a call and told him that we had a leaky dishwasher and a very old appliance that had been sitting in our back yard for probably years. He said he would pick everything up…no problem. He was nice on the phone, came promptly, loaded the stuff and left. No big deal. BUT it was a big deal on Craigslist for some reason. I had seen someone post negative things about Mike before and how he was a scammer, bla bla bla, but when I read the latest post about Mike, I decided to finally speak up for him. I don’t know Mike beyond him coming and picking up the appliances, but I felt that this person obviously was pissed off at Mike for getting to the appliances before this “anonymous” person could. What a freaking coward too. I knew this guy was an appliance person, but when someone starts to accuse another of unsavory things and trying to ruin their business, that pisses me off. Here is what his ad said…I made sure to copy it just in case it got deleted or flagged. Actually the following are the messages between this guy and me:

PLEASE READ!!!!

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Date: 2009-08-23, 12:55PM MDT
Reply to: sale-qx6cq-1338194310@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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THIS GUY MIKE, WHO OFFERS FREE APPLIANCE REMOVAL IS KNOWN IN THE APPLIANCE REPAIR WORLD AS A LOOSER, AND A LIAR WHO HARRASES WOMEN WHEN HE PICKS UP APPLIANCES. DO NOT CALL HIM!!! HE RE-SELLS APPLIANCES TO PEOPLE AND BURNS THEM IF SOMETHING DOES NOT WORK. HE OVERPOSTS AND NEEDS TO BE FLAGGED. HE IS A FLAKE AND A LIAR.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1338194310

Here is my response:

RE: PLEASE READ!!!!

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Date: 2009-08-26, 3:49PM MDT
Reply to: sale-zwtd9-1343953755@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Here is what someone posted about Mike the guy that hauls away appliances for free:

“THIS GUY MIKE, WHO OFFERS FREE APPLIANCE REMOVAL IS KNOWN IN THE APPLIANCE REPAIR WORLD AS A LOOSER, AND A LIAR WHO HARRASES WOMEN WHEN HE PICKS UP APPLIANCES. DO NOT CALL HIM!!! HE RE-SELLS APPLIANCES TO PEOPLE AND BURNS THEM IF SOMETHING DOES NOT WORK. HE OVERPOSTS AND NEEDS TO BE FLAGGED. HE IS A FLAKE AND A LIAR.”

Now…first of all Mike was extremely helpful in hauling away two appliances for me. One was functional and the other was in my back yard from previous tenants for YEARS. Mike came on time, picked up the stuff and was on his way. I AM A WOMAN and he NEVER harassed me in any way, shape or form.
So what if he picks up the stuff and re-sells it. Good for him. The economy sucks right now. What’s the difference between taking those same appliances that may or may not work down to the Salvation Army or Good Will and THEM selling it?
Get over yourself, especially if you’ve made it your full time job to flag him and anyone else on Craigslist. LOL
I wouldn’t put it past you to actually be one of those people you described Mike to be and your just pissed off because he beats you to the stuff.

Oh, and I’m sure you’ll probably flag this too. LOL You know, Craigslist isn’t paying you to do that. Get a real job!

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

This is what this guy says back to me:

RE: RE: PLEASE READ!!!! (Alby. nm)

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Date: 2009-08-28, 8:07AM MDT
Reply to: sale-xkuzg-1346599261@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Too funny!! I wouldn’t be surprised if you posted this ad yourself or got one of the ladies that you didn’t harass that you are probably trying to seduce to post this. Get a life! Nobody cares. We have a much more professional appliance business than you and we don’t lie about our real names and can spell and write English correctly!

• Location: Alby. nm
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

My response back to him…

RE:RE: RE: PLEASE READ!!!!

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Date: 2009-08-28, 8:43AM MDT
Reply to: sale-gb2fb-1346658602@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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OMG! That is funny! I was right. Awesome. I can’t wait to write about it in my blog. I am TRULY all woman, and no Mike didn’t put me up to writing anything. I think you have increased his business by stating such horrible things about him. My next blog post will be quite amusing…would you like to name your APPLIANCE business? Here is my blog site if you’re curious:

http://www.AlopecianMuse.com

I have written other articles about Craigslist too, but this one will be very fun! Please don’t be so shy in not revealing who you are my dear! Mike gives his own number…how about you? I plan on featuring him on my next blog post, would you like to be featured too?

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Here is ANOTHER post this guy made about a repair man, LOL:

RE: appliance repair

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Date: 2009-08-28, 10:36AM MDT
Reply to: sale-pfyet-1346887998@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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This guy is not very honest…Why? How could he claim to be more than 50% cheaper than any other repair company when he does not know what everyone charges. Sounds like this guy is a flake and a liar!! My motto is you get what you pay for. A cheap hotel room is usually pretty gross… A cheap repair man? probaly not a guy you want in your house. The truth will set you free!!

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1346887998

Ok, so when does the drama end? Why do people feel the need to disparage another’s character just to get business for themselves? I was looking for Mike’s ad and number but I don’t think he is even posting on there anymore. Usually he gives his name and phone number and now it’s just a different phone number on the postings. I can’t find the number I had for him. I wanted to call him so I could feature him in this article. He didn’t deserve being slandered like that. Nobody does. If I do happen to find him on Craigslist again, I will ask him to come by so I can interview him and promote what he does. There have been other people that have responded to the negative ads put up and talked about how great it was that he came and took their stuff for free.

On to the fun stuff! Ok, time to go through the treasure trove that is Craigslist and bring up some beauties that are for sale (I did take out email address and phone numbers):

Maybe I’m out of my league with this one, but you tell me if you think it’s worth $1995.00!

round retro antique style 60s gold bed. - $1995 (los lunas)

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Date: 2009-08-30, 10:31AM MDT
Reply to: sale-p7cc7-1349913074@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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round retro antique style 60s gold bed. this bed is fully referneshed with brand new mattres that has never been used. This bed has a 8 track in the moon shaped head board and it works great. it also has space for a tv to go into the moon shaped head board. removable end tables that make this bed look unique. going for $1,995 OBO very rare bed for more pictures and info just call ricarda at ******************** or email me @ ********* must sell moving out of state

• Location: los lunas
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1349913074

From the Antique section…uh??? Am I missing something or is there something wrong with the ad and the pictures? Are they trying to “doll up” the photos with the stuffed animal and coverings on the arms or are they hiding something? I wonder if they spent way too much originally on these items. The asking price of $1800 seems a bit high to me especially since the stuff is covered up! P.S. I did not alter the spelling on this ad.

3 PICE SOFA & ARMCHAIRS IMPORTED FROM ITALY VICTORIAN - $1800 (SE ALB)

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Date: 2009-08-28, 4:13PM MDT
Reply to: sale-cym8m-1347534489@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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IMPORTED FROM ITALY VICTORIAN SOFA & ARMCHAIRS 3 PICE
BUTAFIELL CARVED WOOD
I PIID 6.000.00 ABOUT 6 YEARS AGO THEY DO NEED SOME WORK
$ 1800 OBO ***-****

• Location: SE ALB
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1347534489

And finally an ad from “Casual Encounters”…how fun!

Couple looking for a well hung atheltic male - mw4m - 40 (Albuquerque)

We are a professional, family oriented couple looking to bring that ONE male into our life for friendship and more. We have a family so discretion is a huge must. He must be in good shape, well hung, good looking, respectful, non pushy/cocky, and disease free. We are looking for friendship first and then bedroom fun. He must be able to carry conversation and laughs before the bedroom. We prefer he be age 21-40, hygiene clean, good shape, and well hung (8″+). Not looking for over weight males. We are very real and a fun couple to know. We dont mind if your married. If interestd, please send and email telling us about you and what your looking for in a couple. Please no one liners with no sense rude comments. Also attach a full body and face pic and we will return. No pics…. the email will be deleted. We are very real and you be too.

• Location: Albuquerque
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1349795995

To close this article, I thought it would be appropriate to choose music that captured the essence that truly is “Craigslist” :

Weird Al Yankovic made a new video which was disabled for embedding! The video really sums it all up, so here is the link-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZqciuoiikw

What Does it Take to Make Things Better

What lengths would you go to make your child’s life more comfortable? How about a child with a wide range of problems? Not just one thing like a food allergy or multiple food allergies, but walking problems, developmental issues, their speech is missing or even the ability to tell us simply what she needs, and now on top of that discovering vision problems? How far do you adjust your life and home to help that child learn and function as normal as possible?

Sometimes I am so completely drained I feel empty inside. Dom and I are worked to the bone trying to trouble shoot and make things more suitable here, but it just seems like an endless cycle of “lets add one more problem to the laundry list of issues we already deal with concerning Simmi.” Just as we’re adjusting and finding creative ways around the food issue, and finally getting the floors down in the house, up pops a problem that may be a link to some of the developmental problems she has been having. We’re detectives trying to find the missing puzzle piece of Simmi’s developmental delays. Knowing that she already has this long list of problems, we are wondering if vision problems are contributing to more of her issues. Is it possible?

She has low muscle tone and has had this for a long time. The physical therapist attributes her walking problems with having low muscle tone and Simmi is trying to compensate for this problem by developing a new gait. She also feels that it is the contributing factor of not wanting to get up and walk around or run. But how about when she goes outside and refuses to walk? Is that low muscle tone or is it her vision? These are the types of questions swimming around in our brains constantly. If we go out during the day and it’s very sunny out, she becomes agitated, upset and sometimes gets scared or wants to be held. Why? We know from experience that she does better in low light settings and she is wonderful in the evening hours…calm, peaceful and amiable. During the day, its a different story! As long as the house isn’t flooded with lots of light she does pretty well, but she is often irritable and at times even irrational. She doesn’t really nap anymore during the day which is making things even more hectic. She gets up during the night more than ever as well. So, if bright sunlight is somehow blocking her ability to see, how do we remedy the situation? Blinds and curtains work wonders, and controlling the light that is in the house seems to help as well. But is that enough? What if the light and her vision is preventing her from learning? What if her central vision doesn’t work properly and that’s why she tends to look out of the corner of her eyes? She cocks her head in weird positions, not all the time but enough to see that there is something more to all of this. I have been doing some research here and there when we have a moment, to find out more about Cortical Visual Impairment (CVI) and one thing that I have found is that it is possible for children to regain more of their sight with the proper therapies. How much therapy does this child need? Yes, we can have a therapist here every day of the week for different things, but the therapy should continue even after the therapist leaves. This is where we take over. I need to take the lead with all of this, because the therapists in their field of work come for one hour per week each. Discovering this new problem with her vision helps us to focus in on techniques and approaches that will be more suitable to her therapy. At first glance, when a therapist is here, we might think that she has a VERY limited attention span. Is it her attention that is the problem, or is it the fact that she may not see very clearly what is being presented to her? She responds much better to bright bold colors, moving objects and shiny things. These are the types of things that will need to be incorporated into her therapy and into everyday life. But what does that mean for us as a family? There is no way I’m putting a disco ball up in the dining room, or streamers all over the house that glimmer and shine! There needs to be a “tasteful” way of incorporating shiny objects and special lighting into our home and the house look NORMAL! I’m learning about the properties and principles of multi-sensory therapy and taking those principles and looking for a functional design for our house.

In Simmi’s room we purchased some very cheap shiny stars to hang from her ceiling. What we discovered is that if objects and things seem effortless for her to focus on, she becomes less fatigued. The hanging stars in her room provide movement when there is air flow in the room through the central air/heating system, and when we carry her into her room to put her to bed or take her out of bed, it provides an opportunity to develop her eye-hand coordination because she always wants to touch them or hit them to make them swing or move. The more effortless it is for her to focus and see, (in my opinion) the more it strengthens her vision. It’s such a simple thing and yet she consistently is interested in reaching out for them and with that beautiful wonderment that children seem to have, says “WOW!” every time she enters the room…without fail.

Having a child with undiagnosed problems can be difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. We know our children better than any doctor or therapist, understanding what works and what doesn’t, and its important that we realize that their development is in our hands….not the doctor or therapists. A diagnosis would be nice for her, but what then? She doesn’t have any major organs affected that need to be assisted with the use of medication, so all I can do is trouble shoot and find the right combinations of things that can work for her. Getting to that point is the hard part. It means constantly watching and evaluating her. Its almost a clinical approach to parenting, yet maintaining the close relationship and trust that it takes to move her to the next level in her development. It means never giving up hope and always striving for the very best we can offer her.

We noticed that she looks uninterested in learning things, but is she uninterested or trying to get a better glimpse of what we are showing her by turning her head to the side? She seems to look away, but is she looking away or looking peripherally? She picks up things without looking at them, or is she just looking out of the corner of her eyes this whole time and we never noticed? Yesterday as we were walking out of my room, she walked full force into the molding on our door. She didn’t fall into the door jam, she just walked, thinking that she had clearance. She seems to have a high tolerance for pain, because she didn’t cry afterwards…she just sat on the floor and started to crawl instead. The worst part of all this is that it happens when you least expect it. Not realizing or even noticing these issues in the past makes me wonder if the reason she gets so confused is because she actually can’t see something. She’ll put her hand out and grunt for something, we’ll take her over to that object so she can have it and she will say no and get upset. Is she confused about what she wants? It seems like she can’t make up her mind! It can be very frustrating for us, but I now wonder if her reaching out and grunting is her way of saying “I can’t see this or that.”

We will be creating a Snoezelen room for her in her bedroom. Here is a picture of what we are aiming for when designing her room:

While Snoezelen rooms and equipment are extremely expensive, we can create a room like this with a little creativity. Did you notice the disco ball? Remember earlier I mentioned NOT having a disco ball in our dining room? Simmi is very attracted to arrays of light, prisms, movement, smell and sound, so to incorporate these types of things into the rest of our home (without making every room look like a Snoezelen room) we have decided to go with crystal chandeliers, mirrors and things that draw her eye to where we want her to go at different times during the day. It becomes a way of helping her focus and concentrate effortlessly.

Our bedroom, the dining room and living room are other areas that she is in often. I do deep pressure massages on her after her bath time and that happens on our bed. We have designed our room (although it is in the planning stages right now) to include a crystal chandelier over the bed, lots of mirrors, textures and patterns throughout. How do you have crystal prisms on nightstands and dressers, crystal lamps and vases, flowers and pictures WITHOUT a toddler grabbing them and braking them, potentially hurting themselves? In my design world, I will be mounting these objects to old furniture. The textiles I’ll be using are cut work velvets, silks and satins and furs, providing an endless source of things to touch and experience. Mounting objects to the furniture allows for her to touch the object without possible damage and it becomes the focal point that draws her eye to what ever object I want her to touch or experience in that moment. The design I came up with for our bedroom is not my style at all! Dom and I had planned for a very streamlined more modern and clean look, very minimalistic. That plan went right out the door one morning after discovering that Simmi has vision problems. I realized I was going to have to go for an elegant shabby chic. I put my foot down though when it comes to lots of flower patterns! Not just that, but keeping things simple in terms of patterns is important for Simmi. I’m being stretched and pulled out of the comfort of my design world and into something that in the end will look absolutely beautiful, but totally not my style. The picture on the right is similar to a look I’ll be aiming for. Much more texture, but the intention is to include shiny objects coupled with lots of white. She does well with white in low lighting because it doesn’t fatigue her…everything kind of blends allowing for a more relaxed experience. Our room already has mirrored bi-fold closet doors, which at first we were going to get rid of, but now see the value of having them. Playing with the mirrored concept and use of crystal prisms can actually bring a large amount of sophistication to our room and at the same time be a constant source of therapy for Simmi.

So what can I say? How far do I go to make her life and ours more pleasant and relaxed? Is it worth the effort? Absolutely! I’m tired of waiting for that next opportunity with a therapist, or needing to bring out the objects for her to utilize. I want her to be strengthened each day effortlessly so we can get to the real business at hand…being normal.

How much does it cost to do all this stuff? A lot and nothing at all. If I were to purchase everything new, there would be no way I could afford it all. We have already collected a few items for free off of Freecycle, and I’m always amazed at what some people just get rid of. Usually it doesn’t fit their decor anymore, or its something that was passed down that has been just sitting in their garage. I can actually make the mirrored night stands if I want that look, and as far as bedding goes, I plan on creating my own with Dupioni silks, taffeta, velvets and other textiles. Where will I get these types of fabrics? On sale at Joann fabric or if someone happens to be giving away an old wedding gown. I’ve been on the look out for lots of wedding gowns. When no money is available, everything takes time to acquire. Some times things come in quickly, and at other times it seems like eternity waiting for that special little object. We already have an antique chandelier that someone was getting rid of, and I’m in the process of restoring it to its former beauty so we can hang it as soon as our bedroom is painted.

For anyone willing to go the extra million miles to make their child’s life better (and ours too), I highly recommend trouble shooting how your child responds to their environment. Is the child agitated during the day or evening? Does it make life almost unbearable because you can’t figure out what the hell is wrong with them and you are pulling your hair out because you’ve tried everything? Experiment! Try turning the lights down, or making it brighter. See if background noise like the refrigerator or washing machine aggravates the situation. There is background noise that we become used to but to a child with sensory problems, that sound may drive them crazy and they don’t even realize it. How about if more than one person is talking in a room? Does it drive them bananas and make them lash out? If the light or even background noise is too much for Simmi she begins to take a swipe at us. She will hit and kick, start pulling at her hair and maybe even just start screaming. The hair pulling we have been dealing with for a long time, and we knew it seemed to come in cycles, but now we notice that light and sound have something to do with her hair pulling. Its amazing when we’re willing to watch intently, we see a host of very fixable problems that can help her be more at ease. Being at ease means being more receptive to learning. I’m even considering wearing bright red lipstick during the day if it will help her focus on my mouth when I speak. Children learn to form words by watching others speak, but what happens if they don’t see your mouth clearly or how you form your words? How do they learn? I’m not a lipstick girl, but I’m willing to try it!

It has been quite the adventure, taxing for sure, but well worth the effort. Yesterday we had an Occupational therapist and Simmi’s service coordinator here, and I was thrilled that this particular OT will be helping in creating a plan for Simmi’s sensory issues. At one point during the session, as we were discussing Simmi’s vision, Simmi was able to comprehend what we were talking about and actually put her two cents in concerning her vision. I got a little teary eyed when I saw Simmi standing in front of her service coordinator and while covering one eye, kept looking at him and saying “see, see” and pointing. Then she would cover the other eye and say “see, see”. She understood what we were talking about and was babbling on about something concerning seeing. It was clear as crystal that she was explaining something, and she was so happy that we were catching on. At least that is how I interpret yesterday’s events. The language barrier is still there, but I feel she had her own personal break through yesterday. She understands far more than she can indicate and I am excited to give her the proper tools to make her world more vibrant, clear and comfortable.

Just a Quick Hello!

We have been super busy these days putting flooring down and getting things done around the house. I just wanted to tell you all that I am still alive and kicking! My dad sent me this cool viral video that I thought was awesome…

Enjoy!

My Shoshannah Turned 14 Today!

Ahhh, once again its time to honor another child-o-mine. On the left is my soft, sweet smelling little girl flippin the bird in the hospital. Today is all about Shoshanna Danae! We all call her Shoshie for short, but from the time she was three years old, she decided that her name wasn’t Shoshannah…instead she called herself Gerty. I’m not sure where she heard the name, and the only Gerty I can recall is Drew Barrymore’s character in E.T. Shoshie never saw E.T. when she was little so we just don’t know how she came to be so fond of that name.

The first time I heard her call herself Gerty was in a church. I think we were going in to vote or something like that, and a bunch of very old ladies were sitting there asking Shoshie her name. Now, Shoshie was a thumb sucker, hard core, and the only time she took that thing out of her mouth was to say a few words and back in went the thumb. So the ladies say “Awww, what’s your name?” Shoshie takes her thumb out of her mouth for a second and says “Gerty,” and it stuck. She just loved that name. When she was around 10 years old, she got a turtle from her dad and guess what she named the turtle? Yup…Gerty.

Shoshie was my little shadow. She was extremely easy to care for, adorable, compact and we could take her anywhere with no fuss. She was content with her blankie and her thumb in her mouth and that was all she wanted or needed. When she was an infant we could hand her off to anyone and she was happy as a clam to be held and cuddled. She would just coo and ahh and constantly stick her little tongue out, but by the time she was about 9 months old her social and happy disposition with others was quickly replaced by terror. It seemed as if in a single moment she went from “happy-go-lucky” to horrified if anyone so much as looked at her. She would hold onto us tight and turn her head so she couldn’t look into other peoples’ eyes. Once she warmed up though, she was fine. From that point on, being social was completely on her own terms. As I said just a short while earlier, she was my little shadow. No matter where I would go in the house, I could always count on Shoshie to be right behind me or at my side. She wouldn’t say a peep…she’d just follow me around and silently try to assist me in whatever I was doing. I could take her shopping with me, talk on the phone, take care of anything I was working on and there she was just happy to sit next to me. Of course it wasn’t every second of every day, because she had her “partner in crime” Noah to do things with. I remember this one time I had to go to Costco for some things, Shoshie couldn’t have been more than three years old at the time, and while we were standing at the checkout line, a man in the next row over taps me on the shoulder and says “I think you should turn around.” I turned around and there was Shoshie with all her clothes off, just standing there with her thumb in her mouth. It was the cutest thing ever! But that is how she was and still is. (well, not the stripping down part) She just has a strong and silent way about her, and when she has made up her mind to do something after much thought, she just does it.

Shoshie is extremely kind, loving and caring. She is a musician and plays the cello, can fool around on the guitar, is great with percussion and loves to sing. She’s a girlie-girl too. Loyalty comes to mind when I think of her. I’m very proud of who she is becoming. This past spring while she was away to visit her dad, she made the decision  to live with him and his fiance. I have always felt that my children should be able to choose where they would like to live, but even after conveying that message to them, she still had a hard time telling me that she wanted to live with them. Regardless of my own personal feelings about her being so far away from me, I want her to know that I respect her and admire her for stepping out and choosing something for herself. The most difficult thing about not having her here anymore is that I will miss her presence. She has such a uniquely gorgeous soul. I loved our talks and asking strange and obscure questions just to get her to think. I love when she would ask me questions about “girl things” and how fascinated she was by “the way things are.” Of course I’m being cryptic, but what did you expect? I can tell the whole world what it is that Shoshie and I talk about. She is a beautiful jewel…a treasure!

My Shoshie Girl,

I can’t believe you are 14 years old now! I remember when you and Noah would sit in the back of the mini van and you would look at Noah and say “PIMP!” and he would just kackle and laugh. You would put your thumb in your mouth, pull it out and say “PIMP!” and he would laugh even harder. I don’t know where you heard that word, but you both thought it was the funniest thing on earth. I remember when we would ask you “When are you going to stop sucking your thumb?” and you would say “On Tuesday” in that sweet soft voice of yours. I have so many beautiful memories of you my girl and it has been a blessing to be your mother. Thank you for being such a great daughter, filled with love, joy, friendship, life and optimism. You are truly beautiful through and through. I love you Shoshie girl…Happy Birthday!

Seven Months in the Land of Enchantment

We’ve been living in New Mexico for seven months now…so what do I think so far? Well, for anyone with an interest in moving to New Mexico, I say go for it! I really do love it here with one, little, tiny thing that I absolutely HATE (Noah and Shoshie if you are reading this, close the freaking page)…SCORPIONS! What did I expect? Rainbows and butterflies? Holy shit! Guess what, we’re coming upon scorpion season and yesterday while Dom was in our bathroom, he looked on the WALL and there was a scorpion. He swiped it off the wall and killed it. What’s the name of this particular scorpion dwelling on my bathroom wall? The Bark Scorpion. The picture on the left is what they look like.

Here in New Mexico you can buy one of those handy little black light flash lights. It seems that when you put a black light on them in the dark, they glow. Cool right? Don’t get me wrong, I am very curious about scorpions and think they are really interesting creatures, BUT NOT IN MY HOUSE! I’m paranoid about what’s lurking under the bed now, and also worried about Simmi in her room. This weekend we have to do some major scorpion proofing of our house. I was looking around and realized that there are lots of areas they can come in from. In retrospect, now I’m wondering if Simmi actually may have gotten a scorpion bite. She has had a lot of trouble walking and in the last few weeks it has gotten worse. She does have a small round red mark on the sole of her right foot and lately she has been screaming every time we put her into the crib. When I say scream, I mean SCREAM! She screams like she is being murdered. That started on Monday. Because we have concrete floors that are nasty and unfinished, we always put shoes on her. There would be no way for her to get a puncture mark in the bottom of her foot. I just noticed the mark yesterday, but could it be likely that she got bit? She doesn’t seem to have any of the symptoms of a bite, like swelling, nausea (even though she really isn’t eating much) excess saliva or foaming at the mouth. If you’re interested in reading about what she is going through (it has totally drained me) you can read about it on LovingSimone.com. Anyway, I don’t *think* she got bit, but I do wonder now if it’s possible. They say it causes extreme pain and numbness, but in children it can be very serious. All last week she had a fever of 102.3 but no symptoms of a cold. When I took her to the doctor he said it was probably a virus. It could have been that, but with a viral or bacterial infection, other symptoms are bound to show up. She never developed any other symptoms.

It has been a very trying two-three weeks. My head is spinning and I barely have a few moments to myself. My computer time has been cut down to a few moments here and there and mostly at night, but by 8:30pm I am totally exhausted. My writing has suffered, and I feel so disconnected from my online world. The simple pleasures that seem to help me through the day is the weather here. Every morning when I wake up, I hear the sound of hundreds of birds singing. The air is cool and pleasant and there is usually a beautiful breeze that blows through the house. The light here is amazing. We are entering monsoon season due to hurricane season in Mexico. Lately it is either raining every day or every other day. The humidity is also increased during this time of year. It stays relatively cool during the morning to mid afternoon and then it gets very hot until about 7:00pm. After that, it cools back down and we have very pleasant cool evenings. Being outside in the evening is a joy. Seeing the gorgeous colors painted across the sky in hues of purple and pink just make me take a deep breath, clear my head and enjoy the moment. One thing that is a nuisance (beyond scorpions) is the amount of dirt that blows in the windows. Where we live, there always seems to be two times a day when the wind picks up and gusts and sometimes I forget to close all the windows during those times. Oh-My-God, this one time we left the windows open and every room had light covering of dirt on it. Everything was covered with gritty sand; the table, chairs, floor, cabinets, clothing, beds…everything. The dirt is very light also, and when sweeping it up, most of it kicks up into the air only to settle once again on the floor or other house hold object. We have to not just sweep, but we have to use a shop vac depending on the amount of dirt blown in. It really is that bad! It’s the price we pay for living in the desert and NOT having rocks, wood chips or even grass covering the front and back yard. Most of the dirt that comes in is directly from our own yard, so we just deal with needing to clean up all the dirt. Landscaping is a very low priority on our list right now because there are so many needs on the interior.

I am officially a raw foodist again. I went back to eating raw foods on June 17th and it has been wonderful. We are almost done with my raw kitchen and just need a few more items to make it complete. Here is a few pictures of what it looked like before and after:

I also just created a raw website if anyone would like to take a look. I had some time on Sunday to create it, while Dom watched Simmi all day. That was a nice break! Anyway, here’s the site:

www.RavishinglyRaw.com

Bald Beauty of the Day

My Hannah Bear Turns 19!

Has it truly been 19 years since Hannah was born? Damn, I am old! But I remember the day of her birth like it happened just moments ago. Every moment of her entry into this world is etched in my mind forever. She was born at a very dark and difficult time in my life. I won’t go into the details, but I will tell you that she was meant to be here. Difficult and trying circumstances can bring forth some of the most marvelous miracles one can ever witness. When my days were the darkest and I walked around in shock from a particularly traumatic event, there she was kicking inside of me, reminding me each day that life is so precious. On June 24th 1990 I was taken into the hospital because she was over due. I was huge and had no idea just how big this child would be as she made her entrance into my world. With my father at my side, well, kind of…he was hiding under the blanket in a corner of the room, saying “Oh God!” every time I had a contraction, I pushed and pushed, and pushed some more. Something happened though…she got stuck. She was such a big baby that her shoulder got stuck behind my pelvic bone. I was rushed into the delivery room, where the doctor proceeded to pull his gloves as far up his forearms as possible and he told me that he would have to put his arm up there and turn her so that she could come out. Huh? Ok, I know the baby is large, but so was this doctor’s hands and arms! Geez, I could not believe he did that. After she came out, the doctor and nurses looked at each other and started to laugh. They were amazed that this child came out of me vaginally. Hannah weighed 10 lbs. at birth and she was 23 inches long. At first they didn’t know if she was a girl or boy, because she had three large rolls of soft beautiful fat that blocked them from seeing that she was a girl. Because she stayed in the birth canal for well over a half hour, her head and face were very distorted. She reminded me of Jabba the Hutt. Her eyes were so swollen that it took a day before she could open them. For anyone that has given birth to a big baby, you know also that the calorie intake for these little baby monsters is HUGE! Hannah nursed so much, that by the end of the second day I had LOTS of milk. Instead of losing weight in the hospital, she actually gained 2 1/2 pounds. I had saved all the clothing I had from when Gina was born, but the outfit that I had to take her home in was too small. Hannah was the size of a three month old when we left the hospital. I took her home in a hospital tee-shirt, diaper and hospital blankets.

Her skin was the softest skin I had ever felt. It was supple and mushy and she smelled so good. As the weeks went by, her face formed correctly and what emerged was a most beautiful baby. Deep brown eyes, soft dark skin and an appetite that never quit. I nursed her all the time. She wasn’t happy unless some part of my skin was in her mouth. A pinky knuckle, my chin or a breast. She wouldn’t allow anyone to hold her and would scream unless I was holding her, nursing her or she was in the swing. Hannah crawled early and was walking by the time she was nine months old. Until she was nine months old, she barely ever smiled or laughed. I felt like the Dairy Queen as the months went by until finally the nursing was so out of hand that I had to wean her. From the time I weaned her, she started to smile, laugh and was great around other people. It was like I had a completely different child. Something was different about her though…she didn’t speak. Of course Gina, her big sister was there to “express” what Hannah may have wanted. Gina would bring Hannah into the kitchen holding her hand and say “Hannah wants some juice”, and I would ask Hannah “Do you want juice?” She would nod “Yes.” I knew she could understand everything we were saying and all her developmental milestones were completely normal, except for speech. It didn’t concern me because in my heart I knew it would only be a matter of time before she would speak. She didn’t disappoint either. At around 2 1/2 years old, while we were driving some where in the car, we heard this small, raspy voice in the backseat. I turned my head to see where it was coming from, and there in her car seat was Hannah speaking. She wasn’t just speaking, she was quoting bible verses. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart” was what this child was saying. When she saw that I was witnessing this, she shut up. She knew how to speak…she just chose to be silent all that time.

Hannah and Gina did everything together. When Gina was four years old and Hannah was two, we lived in an apartment on the third floor above a store. I went down stairs to get the mail, and Gina took it upon herself to “get help” because they were left alone. Gina was wearing a skirt with no shirt on, Hannah was wearing a shirt with no underwear or pants on…they BOTH put MY shoes on, Gina took Hannah by the hand and brought her down the back stairs of the fire escape to my neighbor’s house, one flight down. Gina knocked on the door and my neighbor answered. Gina is holding Hannah’s hand and Gina proceeds to tell the neighbor that they were left all alone and she doesn’t know where her mommy is. The neighbor heard me walking back up the stairs and opens the door. She says, “You have to see this, can you come in?” I said “Sure.” I walk into her kitchen, and there standing before me are my two little girls, each half dressed and wearing my shoes. I busted out laughing and realized at that moment that Hannah would follow Gina anywhere.

Hannah loved climbing into my bed while I was sleeping and then she would fall back to sleep. While her sister was up running around making things or getting into stuff she shouldn’t, Hannah was more content crawling under the covers with me and curling up there. Often I would be awoken by her when she was four years old when I would hear this soft, raspy voice say “Good morning mommy, good morning.” She was just this pure sweetness that I wanted to eat up. You couldn’t help but fall in love with Hannah. She had a knack for making grown men cry too. On many occasions, I could catch different men that we knew, tear up as they looked into her eyes. She had a soft quality about her that just made everyone melt.

Hannah loved to create and imagine. I used to have a craft room in my basement where we lived in Michigan, and that child would just rummage through all my craft supplies and material so she could make something. I’d see her walking down the sidewalk with the stroller and inside it was our dog…all dressed up in something she made.

Hannah has always been and always will be a tender soul. Beautiful to the core, she exudes love, compassion, joy, creativity and a thirst for life. She is a musician…self taught. This girl can sing too. We would hear her practicing in her room over and over, but through a door. One night she invited us to come to hear her play. We were all blown away. True to the spirit of a hard core introvert, Hannah shines when she performs. Writing her own songs and melodies, she captivates her audience with rich, soulful, gut-wrenching lyrics. Sometimes dark, sometimes melancholy, but always pure and true to who she is and what she is feeling in that moment. Having her in my life is miracle each and everyday.

I miss her. Plain and simple. She lives on the east coast, and HOPEFULLY (hint, hint, Hannah) she will make plans to move out here too. She has a life she loves and a boyfriend that treats her well…but she doesn’t have her Mama out there. It’s been almost six months since I last saw her and I think it’s hard on us all. We were together last in December and we took some pretty cool pictures on my computer…here is a slide of us all goofing off. Of course Noah will kill me for showing this because his hair was all messed up. Heehee. Hannah hounded me for days to take these pictures, so I thought I would share it all with you:

My Father, My Hero

This Father’s Day I wanted to celebrate my dad by sharing some of him with all of you. My father has always been an extraordinary man with a passion for his family. My sister and I lived with my mother until I was nine and my sister was seven. My dad wanted to make a life for us with my mother, but for reasons I’d rather not say, they were divorced when I was two years old. His dream was always to be near us, and it broke his heart that he lived on the east coast and my sister and I lived on the west coast. Back then custody was always awarded to the mother, leaving my father with very few options. He would faithfully send us gifts and money to help care for us, and being the type of person that my mother was, that money was always spent on drugs and the gifts were brought to the store unopened for money. My father would come out to see my sister and I every year in the summer and take me to Disney Land, Knox Berry Farms, the Zoo, Universal Studios, the movies and lots of other places. By the time I was six years old, I wanted to live with my dad in NJ and my mother let me go there for a visit. This is how messed up my mother was…she brought me to the airport when I was six years old, took me to one of the coffee shops there and gave me some money. She told me which door I was supposed to go through to get on the plane and left me there.  Can you imagine a mother doing such a thing? She told the cashier what time my flight was at and to remind me when I was supposed to get on the plane. I boarded what seemed like a HUGE plane, and as I recall that time in my life, I remember how much tolerance the people had for me. I ran up and down the isle of that plane for most of the flight, skipping and singing. After arriving safely and NOT being kidnapped by some weirdo, I stayed with my dad for a while. I don’t remember how long it was, but I knew that I wanted to live with him for good. He would make up crazy songs to sing to me at night as he played guitar or show off his mad flute skills. I got to eat real food, go places and I felt very secure being with him. My life in California was a nightmare. I had a step-father who beat my mother and me regularly, and being out of that environment made me feel like there was hope for not living in fear. I was returned home and it would be another three years until my father found a way to take my sister and I away from that life. When I was nine, he made the decision to take my sister and I. Calling my mother he said he wanted them for a little vacation (in February) but once we got here, he told us we were staying and not going back. He built a case for keeping us out there and won on the basis that my mother was unfit.

By taking us away from that life in California he became our hero. He gave my sister and I a stable life, food, clothing, a nice place to live and we actually went to school. He not only was a musician, but also an artist. He taught me how to draw and he would enter my work into contests. He loved putting his work into art shows and would enter my work into the junior division. His life long commitment to my sister and I continues to this day. He started writing a number of years ago and has published two books, with a third book going into print as well as being available as an e-book. I created a website for him to be able to sell his books. So what are his books about? Hmm…you have to go to his website to read about them! Just kidding, I’ll give you the synopsis of each of his books and if it gets you a little curious, head over to his site and get a book (or two) downloaded:

Synopsis: Sixteenth Century Nicholas Kristo is commissioned to show the spirit of selfless giving to a world immersed in political, theological and societal corruption. After being led to a gold mine by a messenger of God, Nicholas and best friend Ben set off to build a mountaintop Mission. There they’d use their great fortune to help the disabled of the world, creating prosthesis, wheelchairs and many other useful gifts that would impact the needy in their worldly struggles. No reindeer and elves as helpers in this story, rather Nicholas employs the unlovely, the unwanted and misfits to man his workshops.
When Ben’s family is unjustly accused of a crime by corrupt soldiers intent on seizing their land, Nicholas gives them refuge in the newly constructed Mission. While in pursuit of the family, Captain Andre Ficci and his wicked brother, Manuel, discover the fortune, using any means necessary to locate and seize the gold. The story reads like a novel-length fable.

(Click the book cover to read a sample picture)

Synopsis: When Franciscan Monk, Peto Cardinelli visits his twin brother, Paulo, in prison for stealing church relics he’d sold to feed the poor, he unexpectedly dies. Paulo seizes the moment to escape jail and switches clothes, determined to carry on his  brother’s commission to escort deviant Archbishop Morlan Fadesti to Rome for his ordination as Cardinal.

After Paulo discovers the Archbishop is a pedophile, he secretly employs his actor friends to pose as Vatican officials and join him in an effort to stop the corrupt priest on the road to Rome. When the players are all in place, Paulo conspires with them to deceive the Archbishop into paying for his own imprisonment.

Although stopping a pedophile priest is serious business, Paulo’s extraordinary sense of humor, charm and wit fully carries the story weightlessly with smiles to the end. As Paulo feigns stupidity, and continually baits the Archbishop into doing the right things for the wrong reasons, the reader will discover the true genius of ‘The Crooked Stick’. (Click the book cover to read a sample chapter)

Synopsis

Forty-five-year old Christian artist, Arturo Cruz, is sent by archangel Nathaniel to purge the church of corrupt ministers wherever he finds them. Able to communicate with Nathaniel telepathically, Arturo teams up with love interest, Detective Sergeant Juliann Assanti. Together they set out on an international investigation neither of them are the slightest bit prepared for.

After exposing several local, corrupt ministers, Juliann reveals her burning desire to find her father’s murderer. When Arturo volunteers to help, it’s not long before the two find themselves probing an international drug ring, whose headquarters are located on board the famous mission ship, Christendom. Its leader; a psychotic minister bent on revenge against God and His ‘children’, eager to kill them by any means necessary.

(Click the book cover to read a sample chapter)

Nicholas Kristo and The Crooked Stick are both available for sale at my dad’s website. I haven’t written on my blog in a month (I know, bad girl) but a lot has been going on. Needless to say, we are really financially strapped and unfortunately I have no gift to give my dad this Father’s Day. What I would like to give him as a gift would be for EVERYONE reading this entry, to go over to his site, www.KoestlersNovels.com and purchase a copy of his books. Nicholas Kristo is available in print for $20.00 plus shipping and handling or on E-Book for $5.00. The Crooked Stick is available in print for $11.50 plus shipping and handling or on E-Book for $5.00 as well. Chasing Elmer Gantry is currently being formatted for both print and E-Book. To reserve your copy of Chasing Elmer Gantry, simply click here and you’ll be taken to his Contact Page where you can leave him a message. On an interesting note, “The Crooked Stick” was read by a screen writer of a prominent film production company (I can’t say which one…sorry) to be made into a movie. How cool is that?

Help me honor my dad this Father’s Day and buy one or both of his books. It would mean the world to me and would thrill him to no end. It is such a unique gift. Do it out of curiosity…to have a look into the mind and imagination of the one who helped bring me into this world.

Happy Father’s Day Dad, I love you!

Bald Beauty of the Day…My Dad!

My Boo Boo Kitty Turns Twenty One Tomorrow!

On May 23rd, my oldest child turns 21 years old. Am I really that old? Geez! It seems like yesterday that she was just born! Gina, who I affectionately call my ‘boo boo kitty’ is my first born child, as well as Simone’s mother.

This girl always gave me a run for my money. Mischievous from birth, she made curiosity her main goal in life! Let me give you a few little stories about my Boo-Boo Kitty…

By the time Gina was a year old, she could speak fluently and it was only a few months after she was speaking in sentences that she began to be able to read, recite the alphabet, spell words forwards and backwards and ask lots of questions. She was potty trained before she was two and used to love to show off her cute little panties. One day, we had to go to court, so I got her all dressed up in her cute little dress, shoes and socks and of course her bright colored undies. I made sure she was fully dressed before we left and jumped in a cab, rushing off to the court house. We show up and all is silent during roll call. She was very well behaved with a weird grin on her face. What happened next mortified me and to this day makes me laugh. The child stood up on the bench we were sitting on, turned around to everyone in the court room, lifted up her cute little dress and proclaimed “Look!!!!! I have no panties on!” Oh-My-God! Her absolute innocence made it very difficult to ever be mad at her for some of the stunts that she would pull.

By the time she was three, my daughter Hannah was a year old. Gina loved nail polish, scissors, and really anything that could make a mess and create something interesting. Anytime something mischievous would happen, for whatever reason, she liked getting up really early to do it. Of course that meant that I was sleeping. One very early morning, Gina went searching through the house for my red nail polish. She found it hidden way up high in a cabinet. She climbed up, got the red nail polish, brought it into Hannah, who was in her crib, and proceeded to paint her red. She must have tipped the bottle over too in the process, because there were drips of red nail polish all over the carpet. After finishing her living master piece, she came into my room and tapped me on the back. I was sleeping, and I hear this little voice softly saying, “Mommy, Mommy, Hannah’s bleeding. Hannah’s bleeding Mommy. Hannah’s bleeding.” I woke up, jumped out of bed and rushed into Hannah’s room. There was my little sweet girl with her legs hanging out of the crib. She was just sitting there like some sort of bloody prisoner. She wasn’t crying, and because I was still half asleep, I didn’t smell the strong nail polish odor that emanated from the room. I started to examine Hannah to try to figure out where she was bleeding from. It looked like a blood bath in her crib. Her white crib was smeared with red polish, her legs and arms and part of her face as well. Her sheets had drips of red. At this point I was totally awake, and there was Gina standing at my side watching me examine Hannah. Gina didn’t say a word. She just stood there grinning at her work. Finally, I smelled the strong odor of nail polish and realized it was just polish and no blood was spilled. I couldn’t be angry with this child, although it was a little less innocent! She actually told me that Hannah was bleeding. Hmm? Should I have disciplined her for that? I didn’t.

Not too long after the nail polish incident, she found the scissors and decided to give her self a hair cut. We had to get it almost completely cut off, and from that point on, Gina would only wear dresses. She thought she looked like a boy.

She found all my baking supplies and one morning, decided to climb up to the top cabinet and get it all down. Flour, sugar, cinnamon, all my spices, chocolate chips, coconut shreds, walnuts and salt…Of course this was all before the break of dawn. Gina took all the ingredients, and on her brown rug in the play room, moved all the toys to make room for the giant cookie she was going to make me for breakfast. When she finished making her masterpiece cookie, she proudly woke me up and told me that she made me something. I got up out of bed, and she took me by the hand into the playroom. She puts both hands out and says, “Look, I made you a biiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggg cookie!!!!!!!!!!!” She was so proud of the work she had done. As a matter of fact, it must have taken her HOURS to make it. It did look like a giant round cookie. I just smiled and teared up to look at that sweet face. How many parents get a giant cookie for breakfast, made by their precocious three year old?

Gina was always full of energy, smiling and loving to get the best of us. She is talented in art (although she doesn’t think so) great with the flute, loves fashion and is very social. When she was nineteen years old she gave birth to Simmi. Being young and not ready to have a child, she faced one of the most difficult decisions ever. As a family, we wanted her to make the best decision for her life, and she chose to let us raise Simone. Currently, she has been missing me a lot and has been considering moving to New Mexico. In the near future I hope that will come to fruition. I miss her terribly, and would love to have her closer to me.

Happy Birthday Boo-Boo Kitty…I love you dearly!

Forgive My Absence

Please forgive such a long absence from my blog. Much has been going on in our lives and unfortunately my blog has had to take a backseat for a while. A few weeks ago my husband safely arrived here in New Mexico for good and I have been taking it all in! Its been great having him home. The past two weeks have been filled with much insecurity for Simmi and she is finally calming down. Anytime Dom would get up to do something she would freak out and start crying, thinking he was going to leave again. Its been a little nuts here. Of course he is loving every second of it. He’s plunged himself in to the Green Scene here, making connections and looking for work. Yes, he’s unemployed. It was a very difficult decision to have him move out here without a job. We’re keeping our fingers crossed for a few jobs that look very promising. We’ve had issues with Simmi’s health, issues with my health and now, in just a few days Noah and Shoshie will be leaving for the summer to be with their dad.

My hair continues to grow in and its starting to look pretty good. The photo is very deceiving though. Before I took that picture (and others) I applied a cosmetic concealer called DermMatch to my head. I have a good amount of hair that is permanently gone, but this concealer works like a charm making it look like I have a bountiful, full head of hair. I’m still learning how to use it properly, and as my hair continues to grow (and hopefully doesn’t fall out again) I’ll do an even better job at applying it. I highly recommend it for anyone that has thinning hair. I went a little crazy with the stuff though, and put so much on in certain areas that my head looked like I had just come out of coal mine. If I touched it, the dark pigment would rub off on my hands. Right now I need a lot of this stuff to make my hair look decent, and hopefully as it grows in, I’ll require less of it.

My transition back to raw foods will also be coming soon. We figured out a way for me to have tree nuts in the house. In another blog entry, I mentioned that it would be difficult for me to go back to raw foods because of Simmi’s food allergies, but we have found a way around that. On the side of my house, we have a sun room which we will be converting into a raw kitchen. I will be able to prepare raw meals without the possibility of cross contamination or potentially exposing her to tree nuts or seeds she may be allergic to. We don’t bring any type of nut product into the house, so a separate raw kitchen becomes the best way to ensure that we don’t have any problems.

I’m hoping to be back on track and NOT neglecting my blog very soon. I have a lot of catching up to do and so much to say that sometimes my mind just goes blank.

Bald Beauty of the Day

This One is for You Men

Ok men, I have some questions for you and since I’m asking questions, I would LOVE for you to answer some of them. Think about what I’m going to say and answer honestly. My questions are about the fears that many women who are going bald have about their men leaving them or not being able to find a suitable mate because they are losing their hair.

So…here it goes:

You meet a woman unexpectedly and you are immediately attracted to her. You get to know her and guess what, you fall in love. She is everything you have ever wanted in a woman and she adores and loves you fully. Everything is going great for the first two years and now you are even considering marriage. Then, all the sudden her mood changes. She is less intimate, avoids being touched and is constantly in the bathroom looking at her hair. She doesn’t talk to you about it because quite frankly, she is afraid that she is going bald and that you will leave her. In her panicked state, she becomes even more withdrawn and emotionally she is no longer there for you. She doesn’t look at you the same anymore. She doesn’t even turn you on any more. Is it her hair? Or is it her attitude? Your woman finally confesses that she has been dealing with hair loss for a number of years and she is frantic about taking that next step with you. Her fear has gotten the best of her…or has it? Does she in fact have something to worry about? Will you leave her if she loses anymore hair? She shows you the areas of thinning hair, and you smile at her and say “I don’t see what you’re talking about.” Now she’s crying because either she is crazy or you are just being nice. She wanted to tell you sooner, but didn’t want to lose you. Is that shallow of her or would she be right on the mark thinking that you don’t want her anymore? How would you men feel if you knew the love of your life was losing her hair? Would you feel helpless?

Once the cat is out of the bag so to speak concerning hair loss, it opens up yet another door…endless chatter about her hair loss. Her inner compulsion and obsessive behavior about how her hair looks is now out on the table and it seems that is all she wants to talk about. You look at her and don’t know what to say and she cries again. Now she is crying all the time! So you are turned off, and now you don’t want to even listen to her anymore. Is it her hair? Is it the way she looks? Or is it something else?

This goes on for days, and days turn to weeks and months and all the sudden you look back and two more years have passed. Are you brave enough to stick it out or are you having second thoughts about this woman? She doesn’t look like she used to, she certainly doesn’t look at you the way she used to and its hard to always be talking about the same damn thing day after day. She is constantly asking you to check out her bald spots. You can see they are getting much worse, but you tell her that you love her no matter what. She says she wants a wig, she wants a laser comb, she wants $15,000 worth of laser therapy, she wants a hair system that gets glued to her head that costs $5,000 and then $250.00 per month thereafter, she wants a hair transplant, she has read extensively online and is purchasing more and more products that promise to grow hair. Are you in it for the long haul? What would you do? Would you support her in her quest to look “normal” and if so what are your real feelings about all of it? Or maybe you would give her what she wants just to shut her up so that you can both go back to your lives the way it was before she opened her mouth and told you about her hair loss problem.

Nothing you do snaps her out of it. You compliment her and she rejects the compliment. She doesn’t believe you. Over time you stop giving those compliments. You want to take her out for her birthday, but she would rather stay at home in a dark room looking up hair loss cures. You are incredibly hurt at this point…but are you in it for the long haul? Would you leave her then? Why the fuck would you stay with a woman like that? She is driving you crazy. You still get horny from time to time and she won’t come near you and if you touch her she flinches or is really tense. Why do you stay? Are you a glutton for punishment? Or is there more?

More time has passed and now she looks hideous. You are afraid to tell her that she looks like a cancer patient. She tries so hard to make her hair look full, but at this point it is no use. She definitely needs either a wig or she needs to shave it all off. Which do you prefer? The wig? It doesn’t stay on all the time you know. How about the bald look? Now, you aren’t going to offend me if you don’t think the bald thing is for you. But how do you feel about it? Would you embrace your wife or lover bald? Look at her! She is dieing inside. All the beauty has left her eyes and she never smiles anymore. What do you do? Would you finally leave her? What if she wanted to finally be done with all the hair and she wanted you to shave it all off for her. Would you do it?

You both come to the decision to shave her head. You look at her sitting there in the chair crying as usual, but something feels so right about shaving it all off. You take out the buzzer and shave off the first piece. Damn that feels good huh? Its like you are taking away the one thing that has put a wall between you and your lover! All the sudden, she’s not crying anymore. Its strange, but you come around the front of her and she looks peaceful, serene…beautiful. The silence is deafening in the room and then you start the buzzer again. You shave the rest of her hair off and she is as calm as a Hindu cow. She feels her head, but you can’t wait to look into her eyes again and as you do, you see your woman for the first time in years. Her eyes are shining, she is smiling, peaceful, and best of all, she is looking at you the way she used to. You take the next step and pull out the shaving cream and razor. She is ready. You lather her up and take out the razor and begin shaving her head. Why does this feel so right? Why does it feel so good? Do you want to leave her now that she is completely bald? Or are you in it for the long haul?

You take a long look at her and realize that she is just as stunning as the first day you saw her. There are new feelings of love that are sparked…new passion ignited. Is it because she now has no hair or is it because you just shared something so intimate? In the moment of her greatest fragility, you treated her with tenderness and love…

How do you feel about her now?

That little story is typical in the life of a man who lives with a woman suffering with hair loss. Many women will be able to relate to the story, but how many men can relate too? Women are deathly afraid of losing their hair, but even more afraid of losing their man. Does the fear turn into reality? I believe it can, but not because she is losing her hair…its because of her attitude and self consumed obsessive behavior. I believe that men deserve more credit for the love they have to share. You men constantly amaze me with the amount of tenderness and compassion you have. I know about this because you see, that little story is similar to what my husband went through. Did he stay? Absolutely. Is he in it for the long haul? Most certainly.

Ok, here is another scenario…

You see an attractive woman with GORGEOUS hair…man oh man, she is the full package. She’s beautiful, funny, great body and she’s got you. She also has a secret. You know she is hiding something, but you don’t pay too much attention. Then one day she drops the bomb on you…she was wearing a wig for the six months you were dating. She decides to take that wig off and show you because she is all torn up inside about hiding it. You are stunned. Is it her hair? Or is it the fact that she didn’t tell you in the first place? She didn’t know if she could trust you, but now she is in love and wants to get it all out in the open. Her hair doesn’t just look bad, it is god awful! Chunks of hair missing and not just that, the beautiful blond wig once removed revealed the true color of her almost non-existent hair. Do you run for the hills? Is the wig important to you? She has taken the attitude “If you love me it shouldn’t matter what I look like, and if you can’t handle it, screw you.” You are scared. You have never seen such a thing before, except on old ladies in the supermarket that try to tease their hair up and dye it red to look “younger.” What do you do? Is she still the full package, or is she damaged goods?

Here’s two more for you, and then I’ll shut up:

You meet a woman and there is something “off” about her. You are so drawn to her eyes and smile that you don’t notice that she is in fact going bald. Its noticeable. Would you date her? There is something about her that has you intrigued, and standing there beside her is a woman that has a full, thick beautiful head of hair, and she is stunningly beautiful…but she isn’t intriguing. What do you do? Would you go with the one that was intriguing or the one that seemed “perfect?”

Would you approach and ask out a completely bald woman? You have never seen one in person before, and now you can’t take your eyes off of her. You are stunned that you find her so attractive. What do you do? Is it her lack of hair that attracts you or is there something in her eyes?

Bald Beauty of the Day

My Son’s Documentary About Bob Marley

On April 24, 2009 my son Noah was invited to enter a National History Day contest. He chose to work on a documentary about Bob Marley. Throughout the process of his compiling data, writing his script and creating his documentary presentation, I was very impressed with his dedication not only to the process, but also with the degree of integrity he employed. This is a project that he alone can take all credit for. He sat for hours on end finding pictures online, gathering his sources and making his mama VERY proud. Many of the kids at his school had already started their project before we moved to Rio Rancho, so he had quite a bit of catching up to do.

The contest was held at the National Hispanic Cultural Center in Albuquerque, NM. The architecture and grounds were visually stunning. I was impressed by how beautiful the center was.

We got to the Cultural Center bright and early, and I was unsure how the day would play out since Simmi was with us. The contest took place from 8:30am-4:30pm and I was sure that something would end up going wrong. Taking a toddler to a full day event is not the easiest thing to do, especially when she has as many health concerns as she has. Simmi did surprisingly well, but around 12:00pm she finally started to get too upset to stay. Noah went before some judges and presented his documentary. I thought he did a great job, but of course, I’m his mother…so I’m going to be partial. There were some technical glitches for a student that was supposed to go on before him and since there were problems, for reasons that still baffle me, the judges decided not to let anyone in to view his work. The students are supposed to be able to view their peers projects and I was a little upset that no one could come in to see his work. I asked one of the judges if I could come in and view it, and she reluctantly said yes. I told her that I would also be filming it…I don’t think she liked that very much. I WISH the sound quality on my video camera was more clear, because while the judges were talking to him about his work, they asked an interesting question, “Who helped you write your documentary? Did anyone contribute to it?” My son is extremely smart and he is an excellent writer. I’d like to add that at twelve years old, he is a better writer than a lot of adults! That is not a biased statement from this doting mother. He has the makings of a great writer, and has a style all his own. I had a feeling that the judges would ask if he wrote the script, and when they asked, my heart sank just a little. Why is it impossible to believe that a twelve year old boy wrote the script? Beyond that question, they felt that he did a good job. They felt that the pictures could have been of a better quality, but over all they liked that he chose Bob Marley for his documentary.

I could have helped him with the pictures, but I felt it was better to for him to take care of the project all on his own. Needless to say, disappointment ensued when his documentary was not chosen as one of the finalists. As we were leaving, he looked at me and asked, “Do you think they didn’t choose my work because they didn’t think I wrote it?” All I could do was say “yes.” We were never told why they didn’t choose his documentary, but I know he is very proud of the work that he did. In that, he is quite satisfied. Disappointment will always come face to face with our children, but teaching them to handle it with grace and dignity is important. I want him to grow up celebrating the accomplishments of others that worked just as hard as he did on their projects. The whole process was a great experience for him and a treasured moment in time for me, because I got to witness my son’s dedication to working in excellence both emotionally and intellectually and in the end achieved his personal best. What more could a mother ask for?

Here is his process paper and following that is a slide I put together of our day at the Cultural Center and finally ending it with his documentary:

The Life and Legacy of Bob Marley
Noah Kleinman
Junior Division
Individual Documentary

Why I chose this topic?

Bob Marley has been an inspiration to me since I started listening to his music.  His message of freedom opened my mind into a new kind of music and what music can tell you.  In my way of thinking his music was a milestone in history.  He is the symbol of peace almost everywhere and to everyone who knows him.  I would someday like to do what he does, and inspire people to let go, live your life to the fullest, and “Get Up, Stand, Up.”

How I conducted my research and created my documentary:

I moved from Maryland to Rio Rancho at about the 2nd semester.  My class was only a few months in on their projects so I joined in and chose to do Bob Marley.  My teacher went to the public library and checked out a few books on Bob Marley.  I took notes on important information in these books and then wrote a narration script.  I then went on to Windows Movie Maker and narrated my timeline first and then went on to Google and an archive site to get the pictures for my narration. I timed it all and added all my titles and music.  I then burned it onto a DVD.  I brought it to the regional contest in my school and got 2nd place.  I knew it needed more content so I researched some more on Google and my teacher found some newspaper and magazine articles and rewrote my script.  I found more pictures and revised my movie.  I got more DVDs and published it.  I was then ready for show time.

How my project relates to the theme:

My project deals with Bob Marley, an individual, who created music that changed some people’s daily lives.  It allowed the South Africans to deal with the apartheid system, and made rivaled leaders of political gangs join hands and be at peace with each other.  Time Magazine even says that he, “…rivals the government as a political force.”  His legacy is still heard in other music styles like R&B and hip-hop.  He will go down in history for this.

Annotated Bibliography

Primary Sources:
Farley, Christopher.  Remembering Bob Marley,
Time Magazine., 2005
I gathered primary source quotes from this article.

Unknown Author.  The Best Of The Century.
Time Magazine., 1999
I got the Time Magazine’s best album, Exodus, from this article.

Lloyd Bradley.  This Is Reggae Music.
1st ed. NY: Grove Atlantic Inc., 2000
This gave me primary source information on the reggae field before and after Bob Marley.

Secondary Sources:
Unknown Author.  Jamaica Politics and Bob Marley One Love Peace Concert.  RASTA-MAN-VIBRATION.COM
I was able to find secondary source quotes and information on Marley’s One Love peace concert.

Unknown Author.  Bob Marley.
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame + Museum., 1994
I got primary and mostly secondary quotes, information on Bob’s induction ceremony, and a timeline of the important events in his life.

Picture Credits:
Urban Images
Google Images Search

Someone is Posing as Me!

As of May 2, 2009 the picture on the left is me. That’s right, this bald chick’s hair loss is going in remission. I won’t know for another six months if my hair is stable, but for now it is. I have both scarring and non-scarring Alopecia. Scarring Alopecia’s technical name is Cicatricial Alopecia. The scar exists under the skin and no outward signs of scarring can be seen. Upon close examination of my scalp, you will however see that there are no openings for hair to grow. The holes are closed up. This is a permanent loss of hair that can NEVER grow back. I have these spots all over my scalp. I also have been through a wide range  of other forms of non-scarring Alopecia which is not permanent. Over the last five and a half years, I have not seen as much growth as I have now. I attribute this awesome hair growth to the lack of mold out here in the South West. Hair that seemed to be missing for so long has awakened like Sleepy Hollow. Those hairs that have been sleeping have chosen to awaken white as snow. It is definitely a very interesting look for me.

So here I am in all my glory. No make up, and newly growing almost full head of hair coming in. I posted that picture yesterday on the Women’s Hair Loss Project Network. Well, today, I get a private message on the Network from one of the ladies who was concerned about a blog site she stumbled upon and it had a picture of ME there. She gave me the link, and I was angry beyond all belief by what I saw. Let me give you a little background about the Women’s Hair Loss Project Network and Forum…

The Network and Forum were created to be a safe place for women to come and talk about their hair loss and seek comfort and support. I wrote an article about the Network if you would like to read it here. Anyway, one of the reasons I love the Network and Forum is that you will not find any kind of advertising for hair loss products of any kind. The owner of the site has dedicated her life to helping women who suffer from hair loss. There are lots of forums and membership sites out there and the one thing they all have in common is that they offer some sort of products. Now, there is nothing wrong with making money, but I believe that there should be at least one place in the whole of the world wide web where women can escape from being bombarded by someone peddling a wig, topper, laser comb, laser treatments, pills and potions all promising to grow that head of hair back. The hair loss product industry is huge! There is a lot of money to be made there. On the Alopecian Muse, I have also chosen NOT to sell any products related to hair loss. My reason? I believe that women can be beautiful bald, and if they see that there is yet another option in being bald, why not?! Not everyone can afford expensive wigs, hair systems, loony “laser therapy” that doesn’t work, hair loss potions, or harmful medication that may or may not help in the hair growth process. We are bombarded everyday with these things, and when you are a woman and you are going bald, you will try almost ANYTHING to get that head of hair back. One woman said to me joking around that if hair would grow back by strangers pissing on her head, she would let them do it just so it would grow again. Was she really joking? I don’t think so. Hair loss is such a deeply emotionally scarring process that leaves both men and women feeling less than beautiful. Less secure. Those of us who have experienced it have gone through times of isolation, pushing away even those we love the most out of self preservation.

So…who is the freaking poser? Well, it is obviously a new member of the Women’s Hair Loss Project Network. You wouldn’t believe it if I told you how many people peddling products sign up trying to sell their shit on the Network. Selling stuff will get you immediately banned from the site, but that doesn’t stop greedy people from trying anyway.

This woman copied pictures of me and a few other ladies on the Network and decided to post them on her blog as HER! Beyond the fact that it is not her in those photos, she is using the picture of ME and my new hair growth to sell an e-book titled “Reverse Female Hair Loss” written by a woman named Ashley Michaels. Why would this chick need to use pictures of women on the Network instead of her own? Not only that, but gives a bogus testimony? It is all a big lie and hoax! This woman is trying to get her piece of the hair loss pie and wants to use unsuspecting women to do so! Do you see anything wrong with that? Here are two screen shots of her site:

I plan on also leaving a nice little blog on the Network directed at her, so after I do that she may actually remove the site and/or pictures. I thought a few screen shots were in order just in case she does decide to take down the site. I will also be reporting this to the company she is trying to make money from…namely Ashley Michaels. There are genuinely sincere people out there that do want to help women with hair loss, and I don’t want to disparage Ashley Michaels name or e-book because I have not read it. I don’t know if her book is just a big lie, or if there is some truth to it. One thing I do know though…if I were selling an e-book and bogus claims were being employed, I would sue their asses for everything they got.

A little message for Miss Becky from “Becky’s Hair Loss Blog”:

Becky,

You have come onto the Network “claiming” to be a woman in need of support for your hair loss, but all you have done is show that you are a money grubbing, hair loss whore trying to make money off the misery and vulnerability of others. Why use our photos? Why not use your own? You make me sick beyond belief.

Go crawl back under that rock you came from you fucking snake!

No Longer Yours,

Angela

For anyone wishing to leave Miss Becky a comment on her blog about all this, I highly encourage it! She may end up removing it, so get over there as quickly as possible and leave her your thoughts! Spread the love my friends. What she did was wrong, make sure to let her know!

Here is her site:

http://beckyshairlossblog.blogspot.com/

Bald Beauty of the Day

If Someone Strip Searched My Child I’d Charge them With Sexual Assault!

I don’t usually put out more than one article in any given day, but I guess I couldn’t wait till tomorrow to rant about this! Is it right for a school to strip search a student? Why would this even be up for debate? If someone strip searched ANY of my children, I would bring charges of sexual assault against them. Who the fuck do these people think they are? We are calling it a “strip search” but if a child is FORCED to take their clothes off and humiliated, even if they are NOT touched, I’d bring charges of sexual assault against them! No one, and I mean NO ONE has the right to make children strip down naked in school. Even more absurd is the fact that 13 year old Savana Redding who was strip searched was violated because someone somewhere said that she might have prescription medication on her person. What? Ok, well would it be ok to strip search her if she was accused of carrying heroin on her person? It would be ok then, right? Its NOT ok! And shame on anyone that feels that it is perfectly acceptable to do so because schools need a policy to keep other children safe. Bullshit!

What’s wrong with these people? I don’t care what the “intention” was for stripping a child naked. Is it supposed to be OK to do so if a parent is present? If the school called me in because my 13 year old was accused of selling prescription drugs and wanted to do a strip search I would deny them that access. Does having parental permission make it any less humiliating or even more acceptable? It’s NOT acceptable.

I can not even begin to imagine the humilation this child has had to endure. That is an emotional scar that will stay with her for the rest of her life. How violating for her and worse yet is the school standing behind such a policy and defending their position! Lets now add insult to injury. I hope they plan on suing the school and if the school, which was found in violation of her 4th Amendment rights desides to appeal the Supreme Court’s decision on the matter, they should get double compensation! It is like violating this child all over again.

Here is a link to Savana’s affidavit about what happened that day:

http://www.aclu.org/pdfs/drugpolicy/redding_savanaaffidavit.pdf

Bald Beauty of the Day

Does Torture Really Keep America Safe?

Does torture really keep America safe? Who actually believes that? Beyond the fact that torture of any human being is reprehensible and disgusting is the “belief” by Mr. Dick Cheney himself that the release of the “Torture Memo’s” will make our country less safe. It will piss off the terrorists and allow them to “train” for such events if they are ever captured. Is it any wonder the Bush administration lied about it for such a long time? Isn’t it easier to cast doubt and make it look like some sort of open conspiracy than to actually admit to something as sociopathic and psychotic as torture? Who are we? We have known that torture has been going on since around 2002, yet we have chosen to blindly believe what the past administration told us.

Mr. Bush is a born again Christian after all! He believes in the sanctity of life, preservation of marriage between a man and a woman, oh and lets not forget about the ban embryonic stem cell research. I guess people taken in for questioning against their will because someone somewhere had possible credible evidence that the person had some kind of knowledge about an incident involving some kind of group, and then tortured repeatedly and kept against their will and against our laws without proper representation or even being charged with something makes them less than human and therefore open to such treatment. Did you understand what I just said? Should people be taken into custody, held against their will, tortured for YEARS because they “might” know something? How does that keep us safe? I wonder how many men actually know NOTHING at all, and instead of admitting that they were taken in and kept against their will and releasing them, the government just keeps holding on to them. What could be worse than the prison releasing them and sending them back to their country? Well, what would be worse is if those innocent people went back and told their story and their government bringing charges against us. So lets just keep them imprisoned. There are a lot of people being held not only in this country, but around the world, and the thing most certainly forgotten is the fact that these men haven’t been convicted of anything. Everyone is afraid of closing down Gitmo because where will the detainees go? EXACTLY! Where do they go? We don’t even know if they are guilty of anything. We just keep holding on to them.

The thought of releasing them to possibly go back to their country and plan an attack on us strikes terror in so many and is a part of the conditioning that we have had about Muslims or Islam since 9/11 happened. Part of that conditioning has been the ability to fling the law behind the previous administrations back and keep people detained for years without representation and without being charge with a crime.

So how do Christians feel about all this? Do you believe that it is a means to an end? That a little evil is ok for the greater good? I have noticed that the Religious Right has been very quiet about it. Why? You’re vocal about abortion, which is the snuffing out of human life and in many cases actually torturous for unborn children to endure before they are killed…so is the torture of an innocent full grown man any different? And if he is guilty, does that make it more acceptable? I guess the much quoted bible verse “Love your enemies” means something else huh? Now don’t get high and mighty with me, I’m not saying that you would have to invite these people into your home for a spot of tea, but how about speaking up for those who have no voice right now? You do it for the unborn, so why not for the ethical and humane treatment of real live human beings? Even PETA has nothing to say about this. I guess the torture of animals is far worse than the torture of humans.

Torture does not make our country safe. What it does is erode the moral fiber of our country and turn us into sadistic people if we continue to support such things. Christians may say that abortion and gay marriage and embryonic stem cell research actually erodes the moral fiber, as does pornography or drugs, but I will leave you with a final thought-

What does it mean to be godly? Do we really know? To be like the most High God, what does it take? I was asked that once and I had to really sit and ponder it for a while before I answered. My answer to that question was simple. In order to be like the Most High God, you must first realize that others have free will. God does not prevent us from making mistakes or from living our lives. While some might say the answer is to hate sin, or not be a homosexual, to not have sex before marriage, to not lie or manipulate, I believe that it goes even deeper. Its hard to give others free will. We live in a land full of laws. But when do we allow free will to kick in? Another thing I have heard is “Love the sinner and hate the sin.” Such things are directed at us, not the other person. We are to love those who may sin AND not do that thing we call sin. It isn’t meant to prevent others from living their lives, it is meant to offer up our own free will to our Creator out of love for Him and at the same time, reflect that same love back to those we believe are “sinners.” Free will was given so that we may love our Creator freely…to make a choice to direct our hearts towards Him and abide with Him. If we do not offer the beautiful gift of free will to others, are we reflecting the Will of God or the will of ourselves yet standing behind the words of God concerning His thoughts on a matter?

I’m sure that I have opened up a theological can of worms, but I had to say it. I have been pretty silent when it comes to topic of religion, so there it is. Religion is such a deeply personal choice, but I’m really interested to know what Christians in particular feel about the subject of torture. Is it a sin to you? Do you condone it? Or maybe you will take the moral high ground and claim that it was the free will of Dick Cheney and George Bush to institute such tactics. To that, I say that while they have free will, they are not above the law, and as such, while they do have free will and used it, there are consequences according to the law. So should they face those consequences and be charged with war crimes? Part of morality is justice, so will justice be denied? I have far too many questions and of course my own ready opinion…what I want are your opinions. What are your thoughts?

The Beautiful Susan Boyle

By now, everyone has heard about Susan Boyle, the woman who made every one’s jaw drop as she opened her mouth to sing. I LOVE this woman for her absolutely endearing personality, wonderful voice and stunning beauty. That’s right, I said stunning beauty. I have listened to what others have said about this Scottish Lass and I beg to disagree with their charges that she is not easy on the eyes!

I found it appalling that certain news sources would say something to the effect of this:

“Susan Boyle is an example for all those women out there in the world like her.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? Women like her? Is that their way of saying that she is homely, ugly, a dog? She has been called a spinster, “never been kissed”, and lots of other things. They wanted to do a “make over” on her and her response to them was something that only a perfect person could say. Basically she didn’t want to alter her appearance too much because then she wouldn’t be “real.” She didn’t want to give in to appearances and create a “falsehood.” What an elegant way to stick it to the media!

So, why did everyone think that this woman couldn’t sing? Was it because she wasn’t “perfect” according to society’s standard? She was sassy, had personality, and EVERYONE laughed at her and rolled their eyes. You know, all those people that couldn’t sing, couldn’t bear to be themselves physically and probably altered their own physical beauty to “fit in.” Who doesn’t alter their appearance? But back to the original question…why did everyone think she couldn’t sing? I must be really stupid, because I never believed that vocal chords were directly related to facial features and body size! Wow, I feel so sheepish! Here I was thinking that the discipline of singing had to do with vocal training and years of practice.

Is everyone amazed that she can sing because of the way she looks? Why? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever witnessed. Was it her age? She is only seven years older than I am! If I got up to sing (and yes I can sing) and people saw me out there, would they laugh at me because I’m a fat 40 year old bald chick? What makes me any different than this siren sensation from Scotland?

Let me tell you what makes her so unbelievably beautiful, not just on the inside, but outwardly too. It is that she is and will always be who God made her to be. It is pure, unadulterated beauty. We suffer from illusions everyday. Women and men are constantly doing things to change who they are physically, and when someone comes along that bucks that illusion, we actually end up adoring them because they do what we only dream of. When someone doesn’t live in the shadows, afraid of what others will think about them, we admire them for their courage, strength and tenacity. Outward beauty they say fades with age, but I don’t believe that either. I think that with time, a person becomes more lovely. Her eyes are lovely and she shows what a real woman looks like. They put make up on her and I thought to myself, “Why?” Is it for our sakes? I think it is. It isn’t that physically she can’t be stomached, its because we can’t take the reality that she is real and we are not. Would she be easier on the eyes with a make over? Yes, but not for the reasons you may think. We have taken on societies twisted and skewed beliefs about what real beauty looks like, and if she puts on that make up, wears some nice clothing, loses some weight then WE will feel better about ourselves. That is at the heart of all of this. It is for the public’s sake that she is asked to do this…not for hers. She is perfect as she is. Her unspoiled purity can not be easily viewed by those who must live according to society’s rules about beauty and appearances. To change her amounts to the Gilding of a Lily.

Bald Beauty of the Day

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