Bound By Silence

Its been a while since I last wrote an entry, and I have so many things to say but I felt bound by a strange desire to stay silent and I can not for the life of me figure out why.

My heart is grieved by what I hear in the news, and my mind is cluttered with thoughts and images of events of the recent past.

As I was researching for my new article “Craigs List Trash or Treasure: The Naughty Edition” (still yet to be completed) I felt dirty and horrified by the depravity of some that would put themselves out there for the world to see and view. My original intention for wanting to write the article was to talk about prostitution and how some women were using Craigslist to sell their bodies just to pay the bills. What I found instead was nothing more than pornography in the “Personals” on Craigslist. I felt sorry for these people. Some showed their faces, others showed just genitals or other body parts and bodies in compromising positions. It was disturbing to my soul to see such loneliness and the absolute need to be touched or wanted sexually.

The following is from a married man:

muscular cum spurtter, clean ,discreet 4 u - m4w (alb general area)

Hey

Muscular easygoing discreet white horny male 5 11 190lbs small waist clean cut squeeky clean hung and very discreet. I am married need more fun. I can meet most weekdays and sometimes in an evening. Very open minded and approachable. Stamina of bull cum like a horse. Love to meet a cool down to earth clean female, any age or race, thin to hwp as a sex buddy or fwb. Regular hookups are way cool and I am not looking for a druggie, escort, web cam girl or any of that nonsense. I will not join another website. If you are cool and really looking for a safe fun muscular sex buddy, I am your guy. You will need to host or we can find a place. Married, single, divorce etc is all good. I am real, horny as hell and can put out a lot so put me to the test. Oral anal vanilla or fetish is cool. Very open minded here

I have pixs for girls that are really interested. Feel free to send one or two to me. You get my cell number then to. Ok with texting to start out but I am not a cyber guy so let’s hookup and have fun

Thanks

Richie

What is he thinking? What’s wrong with him? Listen up married women in the Albuquerque area, if this sounds like your husband I’d recommend searching through the Personals on Craigslist to see if this is your husband! Any woman or man that thinks their mate is cheating on them should regularly check the “Casual Encounter” section of your local Craigslist Personals!

In the same section of “Casual Encounters” I found an interesting ad…this one, to me sounds a lot like solicitation for prostitution, yet isn’t there a fine line between prostitution and paid pornography? Is there a difference? How come when a woman or man is filmed in a sex act and then compensated its called pornography, BUT if no camera is present its called prostitution? What is the difference…I’d really like to know! Here is the ad:

Are you eighteen? - m4w (hotel)

If so then i am currently looking for an eighteen to twenty something to do a photo and video shoot with (swimsuit, lingerie, etc.). Im looking for a petite to not much larger gal please. You must be comfortable in front of the camera, a positive attitude, and ready to have fun. Please no drugs, std’s, children, or friends. This will be a one on one private session with lots of teasing and foreplay, followed up by a passionate sexual climax. You will be compenstated for your time immediatley after the session. I am a 30 yr old buisness man who first and foremost always treats a lady like a lady.I am not into any kinky stuff and also abide by the following list of requirments. I will be coming into the albuquerque area starting on monday and look to have something booked soon. So if you are interested then please do not hesitate and send a consideration photo. I am extremely busy and will not be joining an other sites to chat, I truely hope that you understand. If you do not submite a photo then you will recieve no response. And lady please understand that there are still some good guys left.

These are just two examples of what can be found on Craigslist. Check it out in your area for yourself. At a later time I will complete my article for “The Naughty Edition” because right now, as I said earlier, my heart is overwhelmed by what I have been reading about and seeing on TV. Lately, it has been almost unbearable. Mothers murdering their children, a Sunday school teacher accused of kidnapping, raping and murdering her daughter’s friend, ridiculous GOP Tea Parties with older people crying out against socialism yet when they get home they will be waiting for that Social Security check to come in the mail. Pirates holding innocent people hostage for money…GOD! These last two weeks have been too much to bear for me.

I’ll find the words to capture my feelings on these topics, but for now I sit bound by this strange silence and my only request is that you bear with me. I don’t have writers block, that’s for sure. I’m holding back the temptation to sound off on what I see without actually having all the facts.

My heart is heavy, saddened by the world around me.

Bald Beauty of the Day

My Darling Daughter Hannah

Today has been a very busy day for us and Simone has been keeping me on my toes. The phone is ringing off the hook and of course I can’t get to it because I’m completely tied up taking care of Simmi…so I let it ring. I had a feeling it was Hannah calling me and I felt so bad that I couldn’t answer the phone in that moment. After putting Simmi in for a nap a few minutes ago, I jumped online and lo’ and behold there is a slew of emails from my darling daughter. In these emails there are pictures attached with her rambling on about how she finally has an ass. The picture to the left is of her and her man. Yes, she takes after me with her sense of humor and she had me cracking up. I had to post the following pictures and her explanation of what they mean:

This is what Hannah emailed me:

“I put together a beautiful commentary for you.”

How to use spandex underwear when your ass gets to big…

Picture 1: Look like Mickey Mouse..or simply a geek

Picture 2: Look cute without anyone knowing you’re wearing underwear on your head

Picture 3: Look slightly psychotic

Picture 4: Totally pass as a ninja

Picture 5: To freak people out

Picture 6: Hostage situation

Picture 7: Ghetto head wrap

Picture 8: A neck band that makes you look classy

Picture 9: A head band that not only makes you look like an idiot from the 80’s but also makes you feel tough.

“To show the world how your mom influenced you to make anything multi-functional and a complete dork.

I love you”

Bald Beauty of the Day

My World Came Crashing Down Around Me Last Night

Last night I thought my world was coming to an end! I was working on a new website for someone and I made a HUGE error when transferring all the files. I actually sent the latest version of Wordpress to THE ALOPECIAN MUSE by accident. I still have an older version, so the new version wiped everything out. I couldn’t believe I did that. I was mortified. When was the last time I backed up my site? UH…when my very good friend (who, by the way saved my ass last night!) showed me how to back it up.

In a panic and while not thinking clearly I called her crying. I thought I had completely erased four months of work. Poof, it was gone. Well, being the Master Jedi that she is, she was able to poke around and she found the data base. I didn’t wipe it all out.

I tried to sleep but I couldn’t. I tried to do anything to get my mind off the fact that I totally fucked it all up, but it just gnawed at my brain like a rabid, blood thirsty rodent. My stomach was in knots and I felt like I was going to throw up. I got back online last night and there was my friend making everything better. I had all kinds of shit running through my head last night. I wanted to just give it all up and say screw it, I’m no good at this stuff! (That wouldn’t be far from the truth either).

I feel the picture on the left best describes my state of mind last night. I felt shocked, naked, exposed and totally alone. That is until I talked to my Master Jedi! She definitely calmed me down and brought a lot of encouragement to me. I am so glad to have her in my life.

Today I felt that all was right in my world again, and to sweeten it just a little more, my husband called this afternoon to tell me that we hit our first goal amount of money to get him home! I want to thank everyone who gifted us with your generous donations. We are still around $1,000.00 short, but as of today we are half-way there. Tomorrow he will be putting his notice in and he will be here in New Mexico with us in four to five weeks…for good!

Bald Beauty of the Day

American Airlines Sucks the Big One

March 18th was a nerve racking for me. I was putting my two children on a plane alone for the first time to go and see their dad for spring break. When I first inquired about them traveling with American Airlines, I was helped by a very nice woman who assured me that the kids at no time would be left alone from the time I left them until they arrived and were released to their father’s care. I asked the woman on the phone to hold the amount quoted to me until the next day. Well, the next day rolls around and now I’m on the phone with someone else and ready to purchase the tickets. I give my confirmation number to him and he tells me that it will be more than what was quoted. An argument ensues and now I’m pissed off that they are not honoring the price that was quoted less than 24 hours earlier. It seems that the woman who reserved the flight for us the day before forgot to add $100 for the trip returning to Albuquerque. I begin to explain to the man that the woman who reserved the flight for us and quoted us the price should honor the amount. He counters my statement with “You are just trying to get away with not paying the unaccompanied minor fee for the trip home. You should have known by the simple math that something wasn’t right.” He continues to berate me, explaining that “usually one parent pays for the fee upon departure and the other parent pays for the fee on the way back.” My mouth was dropped open at that point. I NEVER explained my situation or that they were going to meet their father. That never even came up. He just assumed it. My kids could have been flying to see their grandparents or other family members, yet he chose to treat me like I was some desperate single mother trying to trick American Airlines into paying for one of the fees. What was I going to do? I needed to book the flight so I bent over and let American Airlines give it to me!

But it doesn’t end there. The day came to take them to the airport and unfortunately for some reason I thought the flight was at 7:30am. We were pretty much ready to go and I just needed to get the itinerary and flight information and we would be off, when I discovered that we might actually be late for the flight. We quickly got everything loaded in the car and headed to the airport. We parked and rushed to the check-in. We still had about ten minutes to the cut off time (you must be checked in 30 minutes before departure). I was so happy we made it. We got to the counter and I said to the woman “We made it!” and she asked which flight. I told her and she said “No problem, you have time.” At that point she excused herself for a moment, came back and said “This man will help you as soon as he is done.” I looked at her perplexed but I still felt confident everything would be ok. The man to the right of her was chattering away with a couple he knew and they were talking about cookies. I stood there wondering why he wasn’t doing his job. Then finally he begins to check the kids in when he says, “Oh, I’m sorry but you will have to take the next flight out because you missed the cut off time.” I told him I was here ten minutes before the cut off and he said that when we got to him it was past the cut off time. Gee, I wonder why? He was so busy talking about those cookies that he didn’t even notice that we were standing there. But what the fuck was up with the original woman who told me that I still had time? What was she doing the whole time??? She was checking in other people!

I continue to argue with the man and he says that he had a flight leaving at 1:30pm and that wouldn’t arrive in Philly until 9:30pm. I told him that this was unacceptable and he proceeded to tell me that it would be ANOTHER $150.00 for catching that flight! I felt like I was being scammed! I told him AGAIN that I was here before the cut off and that his co-worker referred us to him and that we have been waiting all this time. He asked her and she told him that was actually what happened because she didn’t know how to do an Unaccompanied Minor check-in. So he didn’t charge us the $150.00 but said that we STILL would have to take the 1:30pm flight because the next flight out was booked up. I told him absolutely not, and to get them on the flight that was leaving in exactly 20 minutes from now. He did it and off we ran to the security check point. I was allowed to bring my kids all the way to the gate and see them off, and the attendant gave me a pass to go. Because Simmi was also with us and because of her age she did not need a pass…but this particular security officer did not know that. She held us up for over 10 minutes calling her supervisor. I told her that a pass for the baby was not necessary and she didn’t believe me. Her supervisor came and he told her the same damn thing! So now we had to fight our way through the crowd and go through to their gate. We ran all the way and as we got to gate the plane was pulling away. We missed the flight anyway. I explained to the woman at the desk the whole story and she looked at the tickets and says “Oh, these tickets are for the flight at 1:30pm.” HUH? The man never switched them back and booked us for that 1:30pm flight after all! I started getting even more aggravated and she got the kids on the very next flight leaving at 8:00am. This is the same exact flight that the other man said was sold out.

I watched as my kids boarded the plane and I waited till it left the runway to leave. They were so excited and thrilled to be traveling alone. When they got to Philly safely I felt like I could finally rest. From now on, I will be calling all other airlines to schedule flights for my children. I NEVER want to put them on one of American Airlines planes again. I feel they didn’t honor the amount quoted, then proceeded to insult and accuse me, and finally tried to milk another $150.00 out of me due to their incompetence. They have lost my respect and my patronage.

Bald Beauty of the Day

I’m Trying to Get My Groove Back

For the last two and a half weeks I have felt disjointed, lost, thrown off schedule and totally absent minded. Its like I am wandering in a brain fog. Have you ever had a great schedule where you were able to get things done and felt like you actually accomplished something, even if you didn’t get everything you wanted done? Not too long ago I felt that way! Ever since we came down with colds I feel like I haven’t been able to recoup my “groove.” I’m trying to get my groove back and I’m finding it very difficult. Not just that, but before I caught a cold, I felt like I had to work really hard to get everything done and just let go of the things I couldn’t complete for the day.

I spent a good portion of November and December of last year coming up with my writing roster for 2009. I had everything planned out, and I knew exactly what I was going to write about and when I was going to post it. I even gave myself a little wiggle room just in case something happened that was more pressing or if I had to take time off from my writing. But now I look at the plans I made and none of it looks so good to me anymore! I made my plans for 2009 in 2008 when I was still living in Maryland and I think its time to get a new groove on.

Back then, Dom was with us every day and life always flowed better. I have to restructure my time since he isn’t here. I was beating myself up wondering why it seemed like I could never get everything done, and then I realized that the most supportive person in my life is 2,000 miles away from me. Also, in the last week and a half I have created two new websites; one for Simmi and one for my husband. I’ll be sure to put up a link to his site as soon as we are ready…we’re still adding some things to it.

So I need a new groove. It’s been close to three weeks since I have been able to just sit and read my favorite blogs or even done anything just for me. Tomorrow Dom will be coming home until Sunday and it will be a great time for us to sit down together and talk about a good direction for me to go in. I definitely need some guidance in that department lately, because I feel like I am running on auto-pilot. I need to figure out how I can efficiently create time between my work online, my family life, and my “me” time. I need that.

Simmi can be very unpredictable, the kids need to do things, I need to write, I need to consider business opportunities that I have been putting off and haven’t come to a decision about, the house still needs more done to it and I need to start thinking about my life as I more closely consider going to the raw food lifestyle. That is a dynamic shift and one that takes a fair amount of time each day as well. My struggle with raw foods right now is the fact that Simmi has multiple food allergies, and I can not bring nuts, legumes or seeds into the house until I know for sure that she isn’t allergic to them. If a person is allergic to peanuts, chances are they are also allergic to tree nuts and other legumes. If she is in fact allergic to other legumes and tree nuts, that cuts a significant amount of protein out of my diet and that could spell disaster. On a raw food diet, a lot of protein is not necessary, but having some is important. If she is allergic, I can have none. I’m trying to work all that out as well. And last but not least is our beautiful back yard. I haven’t even begun to plan out what we will plant as far as fruit trees, veggies or flower. I fear that I will miss the growing season this year. I know that I will still be able to plant fruit trees, but I was really looking forward to also having a nice little garden.

I am hoping to feel totally refreshed by Monday and hopefully armed with a new plan and direction for my complex and totally blessed life.

Bald Beauty of the Day

South China Sea Intrigue

A few days ago I heard an interesting story on CNN about how the USNS Impeccable was poking around the South China sea, when all the sudden some Chinese ships started to pursue them telling them to leave the area.

The Pentagon claims that the Chinese ships were harassing the Impeccable and even said that they have “increasingly aggressive conduct.”

So what did the Chinese do exactly? Well, according to the Pentagon, two Chinese vessels were in close proximity to the Impeccable, waving their flag and telling the Impeccable to leave the area. (That sounds so aggressive huh?)

What happened next is what caught my attention. It seems that as five Chinese vessels came closer, they also started to throw pieces of wood into the water. OOO!!!!!!! Wood was thrown in the water! AND because the Impeccable didn’t quite know what the intentions of the Chinese vessels were and contending that it was an aggressive move on their part, the Impeccable decided to take some fire hoses and spray the Chinese vessels with water. I started cracking up when I heard this next part…get this…the Chinese crew members decided to strip down to their underwear while being sprayed with the fire hoses! Oh-My-God! This is aggressive? This is dangerous? To whom? You know what…if the Chinese were in international water somewhere near a protected area of the United States, you better bet your ass that we would have our military out there trying to get them away from our protected interests. Why do we feel that it is ok to take surveillance ships near the coasts of other countries and collect data, and if that country finds it threatening and decides to warn us to leave, we find that aggressive?

I am amused, I guess, by the thought of Chinese men stripping down to their skivvies and dancing around in the water being sprayed at them. Maybe there is more to this story than we are being told, but on the surface it looks like China made it pretty clear that they wanted our people to leave the area and we got pissed off. It also makes me wonder if we are too arrogant as a military power. Is it essential that we be over there sticking our equipment where it doesn’t belong? Yet, if another country were to do that to us we would have our panties all up in a bunch? Do we need to lighten up a little? Or is the U.S. correct in it’s assumptions that China is increasingly aggressive towards us over there?

I would LOVE to see a video of all that transpired! You know they must have a copy of it over at the Navy!

Bald Beauty of the Day

I’m Not Well

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then hopefully the photo on the left will be sufficient to express how I feel (and probably look) right now. I have a cold. I have been on and off line over the last few days and I haven’t posted anything new. I can’t even think clearly at the moment.

My son Noah was the first to get sick and for the last week he has been home, sacked out on the couch. I could feel the cold coming on, but just kept pushing myself until a few days ago. I definitely need more rest, and hopefully Simmi and Shoshie won’t get what I have.

I usually make my rounds in the blogosphere, and I haven’t even been able to read new things that my favorite bloggers have been putting out. Its funny how bloggers have their own sort of community and love to keep up with what others are up to. It always makes the day a little bit brighter reading something humorous, or deep or just plain crazy. I read a LOT of blogs everyday on top of other things that I do online and everything has come to a standstill for me.

Here is a very small list of some of the sites I love to frequent…stop by and read a post for me and maybe even leave a comment!

The Authoring Auctioneer

Mommy With a Penis

Sassy Bitch Society

Naked in Eden

The Melindaville Blog

Revellian

Diary of a Heretic

Studio 307

Click Here to Continue

My Life Coach Tara

That’s my small list…I do have more that I have listed on my “Great Links” page.

I hope to be back to my old self in the next few days. Thanks for reading!

Bald Beauty of the Day

Take Me to Your Leader

Who is the leader of the Republican party? Is it fat cat Rush Limbaugh, king of the conservative talk show radio waves, or is it Michael Steel?

I don’t really have an opinion about Rush Limbaugh because personally all he is to me is an entertainer like Howard Stern. Yes, I said Howard Stern because he is the other shock jock for which so many are loyal fans and listeners. Can you imagine if Democrats started calling Howard Stern the leader of the Democratic party? It is absurd to me that some would say that he is the leader of the Republican party…he is just another entertainer tickling the ears of those who think he is “oh so powerful.” Is he powerful? Does he energize the base? Well, what do we mean when we say “energize the base?” Is it the “base of the Republican party” or is it just “the base?.” Here is the ‘other’ definition of “base” in the online dictionary:

base ² (bs)

Bald Beauty of the Day

Twenty-Five Random Things About Me

I was over at one of my favorite blogs The Melindaville Blog and I just got a kick out of her “Twenty-Five Random Things About Melindaville” that I wanted to do one too! I could relate to so many things she had on her list…so here’s mine:

1. When I was only 2 1/2 years old I ran away from home. I remember it very clearly. I was wearing a diaper, had shoes on already, and I was wearing a turtle neck shirt. That’s all. Anyway, I wanted to find my dad who I loved but no longer lived with me. (My parents divorced when I was about two years old). SO, do you remember way back in the day those zipper up round hat boxes with the single handle? Well, I unzipped it, stuck my teddy bear in there, a couple of diapers and other things I loved, and walked out the door, wearing only a diaper, shirt and shoes. I walked and walked and actually got onto the freeway (in Long Beach California!) and just kept walking. I was picked up by a woman and taken to the police station. I could have been kidnapped! I’m so glad she turned me in.
2. My mother was and still is till this day a heroin addict and prostitute.
3. I very rarely went to school before the age of 9, and then my dad won custody of my sister and I.
4. I am dyslexic
5. When I was 11 I refused to hold my dad’s hand or hug him in public because I feared others would think he was my boyfriend.
6. I once had a dream that I was in heaven talking with God, walking in a gorgeous garden, and all the sudden I saw myself sleeping as I hovered above and realized I wasn’t in my body. I was 13 at the time.
7. When I was six I stole money from my mother to get my ears pierced. I can’t believe they did it without a parent’s permission.
8. I read out loud semi-confidently when I was 25 years old.
9. I absolutely adore a plump, ripe, fresh fig.
10. I have a phone phobia (except with my kids and husband), and I always make the kids answer any calls.
11. I’m a documentary and movie whore….I will do anything for a good flick!
12. I’m a horrible speller.
13. I used to attempt to go to school from K-3rd grade, but would always get sent home either for having no shoes on, or lice in my hair. I exacted my revenge for not letting me participate by heading into the girls bathroom and making wet paper towel bubbles, filling them with soap and smacking them onto the ceiling of the bathroom.
14. When I was five, I stole a whole collection of barbies from a neighbor, because I was pissed off that her mother actually bought them for her AND played with her.
15. My mom taught me the fine art of switching price tags in a store, and I was well on my way to becoming a refined grifter if my dad never rescued me.
16. I always wanted to be a doctor and research scientist so I could come up with a way to hydrate and give proper nourishment to those who are suffering with malnutrition in other countries. Bloated bellies and shoving porridge down a persons throat doesn’t provide what they truly need to thrive.
17. Horses love me. I don’t know why, but they just usually come to me and start licking me and smelling me. Unfortunately I’m allergic to horses, but I just can’t stay away!
18. I get really distracted by people who blink too much.
19. I hate the sound of mixing tuna and mayonnaise
20. I love NPR news but I can’t stand Carl Kasell’s spit sounds when he talks.
21. Crickets find me fascinating. I don’t know why, but when I feel like I’m being watched, all I have to do is look down and there is a cricket looking up at me. They aren’t even afraid when I come near them. Mice do the same thing…I never understood the attraction.
22. I have a love affair with the rain. I love everything about a rainy day…the smell, the wind, the gray skies. There is something so special about how it falls and nourishes everything around us. It figures that I would move to the one place that has 300 days of no rain.
23. I am always fascinated by the uniqueness of people.
24. I don’t like to eat food off of a plate that isn’t white.
25. After my dad won custody of my sister and I, and we lived with him, it took a while to wipe the criminal out of my blood; while in plain clothing one day at the age of 10, I got a coffee can and solicited all the neighbors on the block for money for girl scouts. I have never been a girl scout. I thought it was a good idea at the time, and I collected quite a bit of money. My dad found out and literally kicked my butt all the way home after making me go to each house and return the money and apologize. That set me on the straight and narrow from then to this day.

Well, that’s my list. I just couldn’t resist.

Bald Beauty of the Day

Uncertainty Grips My Soul

I have been keeping busy over the last few days making changes to my blog, tending to family needs, and feeling crushed under weight of uncertainty. At times I feel as though I can not breathe, and I find my mind going blank as my soul screams out.

My husband dropped a bomb on me a few days ago and I have been filled with anger and disbelief; expressionless sorrow. He called to tell me that our landlady is going to sell the house that we just moved in to. What? How could this be? Before we signed the lease and moved in, we told her father (who has power of attorney on the property) that our intentions were to stay for a long time because we are not in a position to purchase a home. The house is in need of a lot of TLC, and we were prepared to do the work necessary to make it suitable for Simmi. About two weeks after we moved into the house, the landlady’s father had four massive strokes. He was our advocate, and the one who assured us that we would be able to live here for an extended period of time. Now he is fragile and weak, barely able to speak. He needs physical therapy for his hand skills as well. So what does all this have to do with the uncertainty that grips my soul? Well, the landlady wants to put the house on the market so she can purchase a house for her family. She needs the money from the sale of our home to make that possible. Where do we go now? We just moved in here! There is a part of me that completely understands that she needs to take care of her family, but there is another part of me that feels irrational and wants to make judgements. I want to sympathize with her dilemma, but I feel disappointed that she doesn’t understand what we have been through as a family. To be completely honest, I find it callous of her to call my husband, knowing full well our situation, and tell him that she is selling the house. Is there any compassion in this woman’s heart? We lost everything we owned and we are rebuilding our lives. I feel as though we are being kicked while we are down. My anger is palpable and always close to the surface, making me a walking time bomb for which I am ready to unleash the fury of my sharp tongue and irrational accusations. Her parents live right across the street from us, and yesterday her mom came over to ask if I had an item she could borrow to help her husband work on his hand skills. This is the sweetest and most adorable woman ever. I am really fond of her parents, but as her mother was walking over to my house, I felt this surge of fury well up inside of me. I tried to compose myself, but I know she could see in my eyes that something wasn’t right. I couldn’t even smile when she came to the door, and as she asked me for the item she wanted, I had a half cracked smile of disdain and just kept “um hmming” her. Then I let her know kindly that we didn’t have that particular object, but we used to before we lost everything.

I have all these thoughts that may not be far from the truth, and I hope they are totally wrong. My first thought after my husband broke the news to me was “We are being scammed!” If a landlord doesn’t have the money to make the necessary repairs to a rental they are paying a mortgage on, what is the best way to get it fixed up so you can get the damn thing off your hands by selling it? The answer is offer the renter a reduced rent and some money back each month for making the repairs. If she had no intention of selling right away, then we wouldn’t mind making those repairs. The investment for us is in the health and well being of our family. You can’t put a price tag on that, and there are things definitely more important than money! But why would I go ahead and settle my family into a home that we would have to move out of in six months? Does that make sense to anyone? It makes me rip roaring mad. It messes with the emotional well being of my family as well. It wasn’t enough for them to lose everything, and now we lose this too?

Are there other homes in my area that would be a good alternative to this house? Yes and no. There are homes in this area that are for rent that are WAY better than this house, but they have wall to wall carpeting. We can’t have carpeting because of Simmi’s skin problems. There are however certain types of area rugs that she doesn’t break out from. As I said earlier, we aren’t in a position to purchase a home, so how do we know we won’t be faced with the same situation with the next house we move in to? A friend of mine offered a suggestion to try and get an extended lease. I thought that was a great idea and in the back of my mind, at the same time I’m wondering what if the house were to go into foreclosure?

All of this is maddening at times. The uncertainty of what we should do next grips me and rips at me from the inside out. I need my children to feel secure and settled. Of course they are looking at this very differently…they see it as an opportunity to get the house of their dreams! They are not used to living in such a small house and they would love to see us get a bigger one that is new. Is that possible? Yes, but it comes at the cost of Simmi’s health.

Bald Beauty of the Day

Changes to My Blog

I asked for feedback on my blog and I got some really good suggestions (both public comments and private emails). John Savo recommended that I change the my comment name from “admin” to my name…done.

I added the “Bald Beauty of the Day” to the bottom of my posts, and I now have Comment Luv (which I love) and a “share” button to each post. So what’s on my list next? I don’t want to make too many changes to the blog, and I have grappled over making changes to the home page, but a suggestion that I got from two individuals got me really thinking.

Since the home page isn’t a “traditional” looking blog site, and I have truncating posts, it was suggested that I should think of going to a more “bloggy” type format. As much as I didn’t really like that idea, it made sense to me. With my homepage set the way it is now, it’s difficult to put things in the side bars without making everything look really crammed and “busy,” and I am looking into affiliate sponsors, which left me wondering where the hell I would put them? SO, in the next few days, there will be minor changes to the look of the home page. Basically it will look like this with the featured picture slide where it usually is. I have gone back and forth in my mind about it, so I guess I will wait to see what you all think about the change too.

OK…

On to other things.

I was surfing through Craigslist again for my daily chuckle and I actually thought this little beauty was just too interesting to pass up without writing about it.

So what is it? Well, for $150.00 you could own this “mid-century” beautiful state of the art all-in-one dazzling efficient stove! I thought this was so cool. You can cook, wash your dishes and refrigerate your left-overs all at the same time! How awesome is that? They say it actually works AND it is a whole hell of a lot cleaner than the house it’s dwelling in right now.

Anyway I thought it was blog worthy. Has anyone else ever seen anything like this? If I had a really small apartment, I would probably be a sucker and purchase it, although I would probably need a hazmat suit, a mask and goggles before entering that rat hole! I’d rescue this fine mid-century modern marvel…how about you?

Bald Beauty of the Day

My Husband Cyber Dissed Me!

I’m flustered! I’m aghast, perturbed and grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Today, my incredibly sexy man calls me to say hi and see how my day is going and as we are talking, he says the funniest thing to me:

“One of my friends on Face Book loves your website.” At first, I thought “wow, how cool is that!” but then I couldn’t stop blinking and my mind went blank. Why, you may ask? Well, in that moment I realized my own husband dissed me on Face Book! I was silent for a second, and then for two, and he asked me what was wrong. I started grinning and said “What do you mean one of your friends on Face Book loves my website? How long have you been on Face Book?” He starts laughing and said that he told me all about how he signed up and found all his friends…UH, OH NO HE DIDN’T! OOOO! I told him that he said no such thing to me! He knows I’m on Face Book, so I asked him why he didn’t add me as a friend? Now he is laughing wildly, and me…I’m still grinning from ear to ear. I wanted to hear his defense.

Why didn’t he add me? So then I asked him this next question…”Did you add your mom to your friends list?” He paused for a moment and said “My mom is on Face Book?”  Oh, his brothers and ALL his friends from high school and college are on his list (even old girlfriends)…but not me or his mother? What’s up with that? Here is a screen shot after I went to Face Book to look him up:

Nervously he is still laughing and confessing that he has no idea how he could have let this slip by. I told him there was only one thing I could do about such a major slip…exact my revenge on him in my blog!

When I couldn’t hold my laugh in any longer, I let out the most sardonic laugh and he knew in that moment that I was actually going to write about this little “incident.” I razzed him for a while about it and he was relieved that I thought the whole thing was hilarious. I wanted him to stew for a bit, thinking that I was really upset about it, but he couldn’t see my face on the other end of the phone line! I couldn’t stop smiling. It was such an innocent mistake (or was it? hmm? LOL), but I wonder how many wives who’s husbands are away for long periods of time would look at it and wonder if he was trying to hook up with an old flame, or find a nice warm body in his area.

I trust him with all that is in me, and one thing that I know about relationships is that it is important for our mates to maintain good solid friendships. He actually has quite the social life out there in Maryland, going to concerts, hanging out with friends at the bar, meeting up with long time friends and I wouldn’t have it any other way. He was feeling guilty last week because I am all alone out here with no support system, friends or family. Then he asked if I had a problem with him going places and doing things with his friends, I said “Oh hell no, are you kidding me? Someone in this family has to go out and have some fun!”

I adore that man! YUM!

My Interview With Mr. Revell

My delightfully delicious blogging hero Bobby Revell asked me five very interesting questions. I had to really sit and ponder the interview questions because some of what I say may be true and the rest is a bunch of bullshit!

If you want to participate, read the instructions on the bottom of this funky article.

1. You are single in a night club dressed to kill and having fun, but not many guys around. Three equally handsome men ask you to dance: one with no eyes, one wearing a skin tight leopard patterned spandex jumpsuit, and one outwardly bisexual billionaire gothic emo. Which one do you say yes to and why? Would you possibly make out with him? More? Less?
That one is easy! The man in the leopard patterned spandex jumpsuit would be the one for me. Here are my reasons for choosing him over the man with no eyes and the outwardly bisexual billionaire gothic emo:

• How the hell is the man with no eyes supposed to find me? Is he supposed to “feel around?” Nope, not for me, just because he’s blind doesn’t mean he gets a free pass to feel me up to “see me”, I don’t care how handsome he is. I’m sure he’d be good in bed, but I have my sights set on a bigger fish to fry! (no pun intended)
• The outwardly bisexual billionaire gothic emo would have to keep on walking because, no matter how much money he had, would probably end up leaving the night club with his female partner after introducing him to the blind guy! My life is complicated as it is, I don’t need a crying emo banging on my door at 3:00am looking for JoJo! So I’ll pass on the goth…which leads me to the cream of the crop…
• The man in the tight leopard patterned spandex jumpsuit is the end all be all for me. I’d say yes to him, because any man that would show up in a tight spandex jumpsuit must either have a great sense of humor or a few loose screws! If he has a great sense of humor, he’s not going to take himself too seriously, and if he has a few loose screws he isn’t going to take other people too seriously…I win either way with that one! Would I make out with him? Most definitely…shit, I would probably even go back to his place just to see what he would dress me up as and what kind of toys he has to play with.

2. If you could fight one famous person–serious fist fight–who would it be and why It can be someone currently living or someone in history?

If I could have a serious fist fight with one famous person it would be Angelina Jolie! Why? Well, can you imagine the money for charity that would be made off of an event like that? People would order Pay Per View just to see if we get it on AFTER we beat the shit out of each other.

3. What advice would you give to your fifteen-year-old self if you could go back in time?

I wouldn’t go back and give my fifteen year old self any advice, but this is what I would say:

“Angela, you won’t always be introverted, withdrawn and keep to yourself. When you are older, you will find your voice, find the greatest love of your life, have a best friend (my soul sister) you would lay your life down for and you will realize what is really important in the grand scheme of things…your family and other people.”

Then after I tell my young self this, I will be busy trying to calm this 15 year old hyperventilating adolescent girl down, because she just realized that when she is 40 she will be a bald woman!

4. Make a little story out of this blurb I will give you. You may add to the beginning or the end, or both.

“The friendly technician, who was only moments ago making jokes with me to calm my nerves, was now rushing by me with a large envelope in his hands. He wouldn’t allow his eyes to meet mine on his way by. So yeah, I knew”

Ok, here’s mine:

Early on Monday morning as I was getting ready to interview for the job of a lifetime as the new “Dear Abby” my thoughts kept bringing me back to Saturday night when I left a night club called “The Feel Around” with this guy who asked me to dance. I think his name was Robert, or Bob or Bobby but I can’t for the life remember because I was dazzled by his tight leopard spandex jumpsuit. I don’t know what surprised me more about that night…his wacky personality or my reckless abandon! I’ll spare you the sorted details of what transpired, but needless to say, we took photos. Here he is after we left the night club Saturday night:

As I was thinking about how much fun we had that night, my attention was snatched for a moment by a technician that looked so familiar. I realized that this man was the blind guy from the night club! Even though I was sitting with about 50 other people also applying for the position as “Dear Abby,” I risked my place in line and approached him. Sure enough, it was him! He was a really funny guy and made me feel more at ease about my impending interview.

I was curious about how his night went after I introduced him to this horrid openly bisexual billionaire goth emo, and he told me that the two of them hit it off. I have to admit that I felt bad, but hey, I really liked his girlfriend JoJo and the blind dude was the perfect decoy to snatch her away from the pitiful emo. But I digress…

Finally it’s my turn, and they call my name. The secretary leads me to the boss’s office and to my surprise, guess who is sitting there waiting to interview me? Yup, you guessed it, the billionaire goth emo from Saturday night. My heart started racing and I could feel all the blood rush from my head. Why was I so nervous? Well, I never took JoJo back home and decided to keep her for myself! At that moment I knew there wasn’t a chance in hell that I would get hired. He tried to stay objective, but I could see he was just getting more angry as the interview went on. Here is a picture of the boss…we took this picture Saturday night after we whisked JoJo out the back door.

After the interview was over, I went back out into the waiting area because the ad said that they were hiring on the spot. I sat looking at all the eager applicants vying for the same position when I spotted the blind technician from across the room. Quickly, I rose up out of my seat like my ass was on fire, and rushed over to talk with him. But the friendly technician, who was only moments ago making jokes with me to calm my nerves, was now rushing by me with a large envelope in his hands. He wouldn’t allow his eyes to meet mine on his way by. So yeah, I knew I didn’t get the job.

5. If you were granted one magical wish, what would it be? Please explain.

If I were granted one magical wish, it would be that my grand daughter Simmi would be able to speak and properly express herself. Simmi has a speech disability as well as not being able to properly communicate non-verbally. Most of us go through life taking our ability to speak for granted. We can say yes when we want something and no if we don’t. For some it takes a life time to find their own voice, but what if you can’t even utter words properly, and when you shake your head “no” you really mean “yes?” The simplest of requests go unmet because you can not say you are thirsty or hungry or wet and cold. Your life is a series of misunderstandings to which you become so frustrated. Cognition is not the problem, but neurological signals that are crossed and all mixed up. Yeah, if I had one wish, it would be for her to open up that precious little mouth of hers and tell me what she needs and wants.

If you haven’t done this interview yet and would like to, follow these instructions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Bald Beauty of the Day

A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Words

What is Delonas saying by conjuring up this cartoon? On one hand it looks like he is calling the President a monkey and the police- Republicans, but is that all? Or is he looking at this whole process and viewing the behavior of the Republicans as KKK lynch men? Is he saying something beyond our first assumption and appalled reaction? Maybe he is very clever here…or just an idiot trying to ramp up readership over at the New York Post.

Beyond the obvious racial implications, do you see anything else that he could be saying? If so, please enlighten me. I see something completely different than in this picture and I am wondering if others see the same thing. Think about it and tell me your thoughts.

Bald Beauty of the Day

I Think I’m Getting Pissed Off!

As the Octuplet mom continues to draw heated criticism, I find myself getting a little pissed off! I’m not pissed at her though, and maybe pissed off isn’t the right word. Perturbed, disturbed, peeved, ruffled, and annoyed may be more appropriate to what I’m feeling right now. Again, strangely it isn’t her that has my eyebrows furrowing, it’s the public outcry against her. I guess I’m now some what emotionally involved (sucked in). I feel upset that people can be so uncaring at a time when, regardless of why she knocked herself up, these little ones are going to need to be cared for. I’m disturbed because her publicist had to quit after she and her husband were receiving death threats for helping Nadya Suleman. Why would any one feel it necessary to threaten this mother’s life or the life of her publicist? Death threats? Oh, and I’m supposed to now believe that these people actually have a valid argument for their disdain of Nadya Suleman? How can anyone who would make death threats against her justify such behavior? Are these people serious? Do you think it’s right to be so outraged by another person’s actions that it warrants taking their life? That’s just plain fucked up! I’m sorry, but if you are reading this, and you made death threats against this woman, you are worse than she could ever be! We hear the insults about how she is unstable or needs psychiatric help, but people who make death threats aren’t unstable or need psychiatric help?

Is it really all about money? For those of you who are so messed up over this, do you give to charities?

Do you want to know what is interesting to me?…that when a hurricane or other major catastrophe strikes, people look all concerned, they flood the victims with gifts and/or money, willingly take them into their own homes without knowing a thing about the person they are helping. They blindly give of their good will and resources because another is in need. The person who’s house burns to the ground is shown compassion for their plight and the community rallies to help and to heal.  What was going on behind closed doors BEFORE that house burnt down? Do you go down to the local hospital to find out if all their children are legitimate first, and then they’ll be worthy of your money? Do you make sure they are married, have a good head on their shoulders, have plenty of savings in the bank and did every thing right in their life?

During Katrina we saw so many beautiful people volunteer, but I didn’t see any of them taking a psychological profile and weighing their options of whether to help a particular person or not. No, they reached in and gave a hand. The truth is that we don’t really know anyone, do we. Everyone is so afraid that they will be scammed out of their money, but if it was given out of the goodness of your heart, the law of reciprocity is at work regardless if you’ve been scammed or not. You may think that a natural disaster or a house burning down doesn’t compare to what Ms. Suleman did, but consider that people make choices everyday to live in areas of the country prone to massive fires, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, typhoons and tsunamis. Do you judge them based on the location of their home? They made a choice to live in an area prone to fires, putting their family at risk…do you help? Of course we help! How about tornado ally? Florida? I wonder what kind of life these people lived before catastrophe struck. Can you imagine if their life came under the microscope? “So and so didn’t pay their taxes for a few years, filed for bankruptcy, beats his kids and wife and has lots of parking tickets…na! We aren’t gonna help that family, let them stew because the father made bad choices.” How about the recent power outage due to the ice storm on the east coast? Would someone refuse to take another family in during an ice storm because they found out that the mother had her own enterprising meth lab in the basement of her hovel? Would you turn her kids away if you had a generator, warmth and food?

Is Nadya Suleman being used as a scape goat? Is she the next justifiable reason not to give to a person in need? I have been thinking about this for a few days now, wondering to myself why I feel so much empathy towards her, and the only thing that I could come up with is the fact that she is in need, just as my family is in need. Granted, our situations are very different, but the needs are just as great. I see how my children struggle after losing everything that was precious to them, and when our family receives help or donations, their eyes light up filled with surprise and they feel special and thought of.

I want my kids to understand the value of giving to others and when they grow up, to take this dark time in our lives and turn it into something beautiful for another family that may be in need. I never want them to forget what we have been through, or how it feels to have others that may not even know us, gift us in someway, because that leaves an impression upon them and can create a legacy of giving to the next generation. I never want that spark of hope to be extinguished from their hearts and minds. They understand the beauty and satisfaction that comes with giving from the heart, and they never cease to amaze me by the thoughtfulness of their actions towards others. I believe that all children should be allowed to witness the beauty and generosity of a loving community, even if the parent or parents do not lead by example. Should the Suleman children be any different?

Bald Beauty of the Day

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