Forgive My Absence

Please forgive such a long absence from my blog. Much has been going on in our lives and unfortunately my blog has had to take a backseat for a while. A few weeks ago my husband safely arrived here in New Mexico for good and I have been taking it all in! Its been great having him home. The past two weeks have been filled with much insecurity for Simmi and she is finally calming down. Anytime Dom would get up to do something she would freak out and start crying, thinking he was going to leave again. Its been a little nuts here. Of course he is loving every second of it. He’s plunged himself in to the Green Scene here, making connections and looking for work. Yes, he’s unemployed. It was a very difficult decision to have him move out here without a job. We’re keeping our fingers crossed for a few jobs that look very promising. We’ve had issues with Simmi’s health, issues with my health and now, in just a few days Noah and Shoshie will be leaving for the summer to be with their dad.

My hair continues to grow in and its starting to look pretty good. The photo is very deceiving though. Before I took that picture (and others) I applied a cosmetic concealer called DermMatch to my head. I have a good amount of hair that is permanently gone, but this concealer works like a charm making it look like I have a bountiful, full head of hair. I’m still learning how to use it properly, and as my hair continues to grow (and hopefully doesn’t fall out again) I’ll do an even better job at applying it. I highly recommend it for anyone that has thinning hair. I went a little crazy with the stuff though, and put so much on in certain areas that my head looked like I had just come out of coal mine. If I touched it, the dark pigment would rub off on my hands. Right now I need a lot of this stuff to make my hair look decent, and hopefully as it grows in, I’ll require less of it.

My transition back to raw foods will also be coming soon. We figured out a way for me to have tree nuts in the house. In another blog entry, I mentioned that it would be difficult for me to go back to raw foods because of Simmi’s food allergies, but we have found a way around that. On the side of my house, we have a sun room which we will be converting into a raw kitchen. I will be able to prepare raw meals without the possibility of cross contamination or potentially exposing her to tree nuts or seeds she may be allergic to. We don’t bring any type of nut product into the house, so a separate raw kitchen becomes the best way to ensure that we don’t have any problems.

I’m hoping to be back on track and NOT neglecting my blog very soon. I have a lot of catching up to do and so much to say that sometimes my mind just goes blank.

Bald Beauty of the Day

My Son’s Documentary About Bob Marley

On April 24, 2009 my son Noah was invited to enter a National History Day contest. He chose to work on a documentary about Bob Marley. Throughout the process of his compiling data, writing his script and creating his documentary presentation, I was very impressed with his dedication not only to the process, but also with the degree of integrity he employed. This is a project that he alone can take all credit for. He sat for hours on end finding pictures online, gathering his sources and making his mama VERY proud. Many of the kids at his school had already started their project before we moved to Rio Rancho, so he had quite a bit of catching up to do.

The contest was held at the National Hispanic Cultural Center in Albuquerque, NM. The architecture and grounds were visually stunning. I was impressed by how beautiful the center was.

We got to the Cultural Center bright and early, and I was unsure how the day would play out since Simmi was with us. The contest took place from 8:30am-4:30pm and I was sure that something would end up going wrong. Taking a toddler to a full day event is not the easiest thing to do, especially when she has as many health concerns as she has. Simmi did surprisingly well, but around 12:00pm she finally started to get too upset to stay. Noah went before some judges and presented his documentary. I thought he did a great job, but of course, I’m his mother…so I’m going to be partial. There were some technical glitches for a student that was supposed to go on before him and since there were problems, for reasons that still baffle me, the judges decided not to let anyone in to view his work. The students are supposed to be able to view their peers projects and I was a little upset that no one could come in to see his work. I asked one of the judges if I could come in and view it, and she reluctantly said yes. I told her that I would also be filming it…I don’t think she liked that very much. I WISH the sound quality on my video camera was more clear, because while the judges were talking to him about his work, they asked an interesting question, “Who helped you write your documentary? Did anyone contribute to it?” My son is extremely smart and he is an excellent writer. I’d like to add that at twelve years old, he is a better writer than a lot of adults! That is not a biased statement from this doting mother. He has the makings of a great writer, and has a style all his own. I had a feeling that the judges would ask if he wrote the script, and when they asked, my heart sank just a little. Why is it impossible to believe that a twelve year old boy wrote the script? Beyond that question, they felt that he did a good job. They felt that the pictures could have been of a better quality, but over all they liked that he chose Bob Marley for his documentary.

I could have helped him with the pictures, but I felt it was better to for him to take care of the project all on his own. Needless to say, disappointment ensued when his documentary was not chosen as one of the finalists. As we were leaving, he looked at me and asked, “Do you think they didn’t choose my work because they didn’t think I wrote it?” All I could do was say “yes.” We were never told why they didn’t choose his documentary, but I know he is very proud of the work that he did. In that, he is quite satisfied. Disappointment will always come face to face with our children, but teaching them to handle it with grace and dignity is important. I want him to grow up celebrating the accomplishments of others that worked just as hard as he did on their projects. The whole process was a great experience for him and a treasured moment in time for me, because I got to witness my son’s dedication to working in excellence both emotionally and intellectually and in the end achieved his personal best. What more could a mother ask for?

Here is his process paper and following that is a slide I put together of our day at the Cultural Center and finally ending it with his documentary:

The Life and Legacy of Bob Marley
Noah Kleinman
Junior Division
Individual Documentary

Why I chose this topic?

Bob Marley has been an inspiration to me since I started listening to his music.  His message of freedom opened my mind into a new kind of music and what music can tell you.  In my way of thinking his music was a milestone in history.  He is the symbol of peace almost everywhere and to everyone who knows him.  I would someday like to do what he does, and inspire people to let go, live your life to the fullest, and “Get Up, Stand, Up.”

How I conducted my research and created my documentary:

I moved from Maryland to Rio Rancho at about the 2nd semester.  My class was only a few months in on their projects so I joined in and chose to do Bob Marley.  My teacher went to the public library and checked out a few books on Bob Marley.  I took notes on important information in these books and then wrote a narration script.  I then went on to Windows Movie Maker and narrated my timeline first and then went on to Google and an archive site to get the pictures for my narration. I timed it all and added all my titles and music.  I then burned it onto a DVD.  I brought it to the regional contest in my school and got 2nd place.  I knew it needed more content so I researched some more on Google and my teacher found some newspaper and magazine articles and rewrote my script.  I found more pictures and revised my movie.  I got more DVDs and published it.  I was then ready for show time.

How my project relates to the theme:

My project deals with Bob Marley, an individual, who created music that changed some people’s daily lives.  It allowed the South Africans to deal with the apartheid system, and made rivaled leaders of political gangs join hands and be at peace with each other.  Time Magazine even says that he, “…rivals the government as a political force.”  His legacy is still heard in other music styles like R&B and hip-hop.  He will go down in history for this.

Annotated Bibliography

Primary Sources:
Farley, Christopher.  Remembering Bob Marley,
Time Magazine., 2005
I gathered primary source quotes from this article.

Unknown Author.  The Best Of The Century.
Time Magazine., 1999
I got the Time Magazine’s best album, Exodus, from this article.

Lloyd Bradley.  This Is Reggae Music.
1st ed. NY: Grove Atlantic Inc., 2000
This gave me primary source information on the reggae field before and after Bob Marley.

Secondary Sources:
Unknown Author.  Jamaica Politics and Bob Marley One Love Peace Concert.  RASTA-MAN-VIBRATION.COM
I was able to find secondary source quotes and information on Marley’s One Love peace concert.

Unknown Author.  Bob Marley.
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame + Museum., 1994
I got primary and mostly secondary quotes, information on Bob’s induction ceremony, and a timeline of the important events in his life.

Picture Credits:
Urban Images
Google Images Search

My Darling Daughter Hannah

Today has been a very busy day for us and Simone has been keeping me on my toes. The phone is ringing off the hook and of course I can’t get to it because I’m completely tied up taking care of Simmi…so I let it ring. I had a feeling it was Hannah calling me and I felt so bad that I couldn’t answer the phone in that moment. After putting Simmi in for a nap a few minutes ago, I jumped online and lo’ and behold there is a slew of emails from my darling daughter. In these emails there are pictures attached with her rambling on about how she finally has an ass. The picture to the left is of her and her man. Yes, she takes after me with her sense of humor and she had me cracking up. I had to post the following pictures and her explanation of what they mean:

This is what Hannah emailed me:

“I put together a beautiful commentary for you.”

How to use spandex underwear when your ass gets to big…

Picture 1: Look like Mickey Mouse..or simply a geek

Picture 2: Look cute without anyone knowing you’re wearing underwear on your head

Picture 3: Look slightly psychotic

Picture 4: Totally pass as a ninja

Picture 5: To freak people out

Picture 6: Hostage situation

Picture 7: Ghetto head wrap

Picture 8: A neck band that makes you look classy

Picture 9: A head band that not only makes you look like an idiot from the 80’s but also makes you feel tough.

“To show the world how your mom influenced you to make anything multi-functional and a complete dork.

I love you”

Bald Beauty of the Day

One More Thing For the Birthday Boy!

Ok, I just found out that Matisyahu is putting out a new album called “Light.”  We missed the last opportunity to see Matisyahu live in NY and I’ll never forget the look of disappointment in Dom’s eyes because we couldn’t get there that night. Well, I’ll never let that happen again! I made sure that if he couldn’t see him live, he could at least dance on stage with him! That’s right, you can see the Birthday boy in all his glory dancing as Matisyahu sings!

Here is the link to make your own: Dance With Matisyahu

So now that I have given you a dance and a song from Matisyahu my dear husband, I want to add one more thing…Matisyahu World! That’s right my love, just click the link for Matisyahu World and become a part of their community. There is so much on the site. Here is a message from Matisyahu about the community:

My Husband Turns Thirty

Tomorrow April 2nd, my sweet, sexy and gorgeous husband turns thirty. I know you are probably all doing the math right now right? If I’m forty, uh, then he must be ten years younger! Yes, I married a younger man.

My kids like to joke about the age difference with the following statements:

“When you had Gina (my oldest), Dom was only in the third grade.”

“When you had all four of us, he was just graduating from high school.”

“When you were a freshmen in high school, he was only four years old!”

Yeah, yeah, they like to razz me about the age thing. It does seam weird right? Its strange to me that when I hit puberty my man was being potty trained, singing “the wheels on the bus go round and round,” and playing with his little hammer and toys. How bizarre. When I lost my virginity he was in the first grade, finger painting, singing songs and learning how to use a pair of scissors.

I have to thank his parents though for creating him and raising him to be the man he is. He truly is my better half, and life would be dull, lifeless, bland and very lonely if he was not sharing his life with me. I feel totally blessed to be married to this wonderful person. I just want to go back in time and meet him when he was so young. (Don’t get all perverted on me now!) Have you ever looked at your mate’s pictures from when they were young and thought to yourself “how fun it would be to play with him/her and talk to them”; to go out on the playground for a few hours, make deals and switch lunch, and talk about what we are going to be when we grow up.

While that would be fun, nothing compares to being groped in a pair of “Big Girl Panties.” Yes, this man wanted to chase me all around the house in them. His love and devotion to me never seems to fade. It grows stronger with each passing day. It is an amazing feeling to be loved in that way. To be adored, cherished and held in the highest esteem. It is what every woman dreams of. I didn’t know it was possible to have a relationship with a man and NOT argue at least once a day. They say it’s supposed to be healthy to argue and that if you aren’t having any fights there is something wrong with your marriage. I don’t know who thought up that little beauty, but I prefer the marriage I have now to any other relationship I have ever been in. There is something very freeing for a woman when she knows that she is being listened to AND heard. When she has a thought or an opinion, she isn’t talked down to or treated in a condescending and demeaning way for expressing that opinion. Being free to grow as a woman is important, and feeling that it is ok to make mistakes as well as to be supported in that growth process makes her feel even more secure in her relationship with her man. No mind games, no trying to get his point of view across so that he can be right, because he realizes that we are on the same team reaching for the same goal…to love and understand one another. Its priceless, not just for our relationship, but for our family as well.

For his birthday I am giving him a few cyber gifts, since he is living 2,000 miles away from me.

A pair of Siamese Love Twins. There are two sides of me and this way he can have both at the same time!

Tango Lessons, because it has always been a secret passion and dream of his for us to do the tango:

Looking into my crystal ball, I see him home with me soon! And when he gets here, we will celebrate his birthday the way that all couples should celebrate…in their birthday suits!

Stop by his site and wish him a Happy Birthday! Here is the link:

The Knipfing Report

Happy Birthday Babe! I love you so much and I can’t wait till you are home for good!

Bald Beauty of the Day

The Perpetual Witching Hour

The Witching Hour is a phrase often used in superstitious circles when demons, witches or evil spirits lurk about and are at the height of their malevolent power. Usually this is the time after 12:00am. Spooky right? Well, the Witching Hour can also mean something else. Something far more sinister, paralyzing and can leave YOU feeling like a demon, witch or a malevolent being. This witching hour is usually only contained within a short period of time and it can happen at any time day or night. But what brings on the Witching hour? Busyness!

Just “TRY” to concentrate and get something substantial and important done and along comes this creature, soft, warm, smirking and pint sized to make your life a living hell! I have been living in a perpetual witching hour for the last three days. It hasn’t stopped. I’ll explain a little of how the witching hour festers, then throbs and finally pops like a massive zit all oozy and bloody!

Here it goes:

For you parents, have you ever tried to take an important call and two minutes into your conversation little Festus Jr. comes over and starts pulling on your pants, crying, screaming and nothing you do can calm him down…EXCEPT get off the phone? You end the call, hang up and little Festus decides to smile and walk away? Did he want anything? NO! You go to see how he is, and he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you. He’s playing with his trucks, spinning around wildly and having fun. So you sneak back into the kitchen to get on the phone because of how urgent the call was. You pick up the phone and start to dial and guess who comes barreling into the room screaming like someone was trying to murder him? You guessed it, FESTUS! You scratch your head still being patient, end your second attempt to make that call and as soon as you put that phone on the hook, Festus doesn’t have a care in the world. This of course continues. There is no rhyme or reason for it because it makes no sense what so ever! Does Festus want attention? Hmm, it’s hard to say because when you give him attention he treats you like you don’t even exist.

Here are some other short examples of when the Witching Hour is administered by our power-packed half pints:

• Making a meal
• Balancing the checkbook
• Shopping for food
• Doing laundry
• Making love (just try that one, and it’s enough to turn you off right away!)
• When your friends or family are over
• During the child’s birthday party (”Its my party and I’ll cry if I want to)
• After they are in bed and you sit down to watch your favorite show
• TRYING TO WORK FROM HOME!

What is that? Why is it that children instinctively know when you need to get something important done and that’s when the world is coming to an end for them? They were fine just two seconds ago and now they are caught up in a panicky whirlwind of emotion that only stops when you do NOTHING!

This is what my life for the last three days has been like. I have both self-imposed deadlines as well as external deadlines to meet, and it seems like as soon as I think its quiet, my little cutie pie Simmi is off into a screaming session that only ends when I decide to do nothing at all. Its not a fluke either. When I was creating this child’s website, the screaming was incessant. I always work on articles or other things that are important for me to get done online at night and if I don’t get it finished, I save my work, check it during her nap time and publish. Easy right? But what happens when you have something pressing to do, like LEARN A NEW MANAGEMENT SYSTEM? Huh? HUH? Ever since I made a commitment to this new business venture and began the process of learning about Drupal this child has been hell on wheels!

She is intuitively tuned into me. Usually she has a nice long nap during the day and I can do a few things I need to do online. Uh…not lately. No nap. Just jumping in her crib and CHEWING the wood on her crib! Yes, she has totally macked up her beautiful crib. Last week she had a splinter in her gums because she was gnawing on the wood. She has been manic over the last three days, just running around in circles and running up and down the hall.

I didn’t start downloading the system and get to business until 10:00pm last night when she finally conked out. I was up till 3:30am jamming as much in as I could. Today I did nothing. But she was still manic. If I had hair, I’d be pulling it out right about now. My world is in this constant state of flux recently. I was hoping to be refreshed and ready to go, but instead I have a screaming child on my hands and some health problems again.

When Dom came home for those four days, he brought with him some of his clothing. This clothing smelled musty. I don’t think its a coincidence that now I am having a flare up again. The same thing happened when I received the package from Dom with the “Big Girl Panties.” My son and I became really sick. When we opened that box the smell of mold wafted through the air. I haven’t had pain in my joints like I have right now since I left Maryland. I refuse to go back on steroids or anti-inflammatory medication and the only thing that seems to shut off my auto-immune response is being on a raw diet.

Can you tell I have a lot on my plate right now?

American Airlines Sucks the Big One

March 18th was a nerve racking for me. I was putting my two children on a plane alone for the first time to go and see their dad for spring break. When I first inquired about them traveling with American Airlines, I was helped by a very nice woman who assured me that the kids at no time would be left alone from the time I left them until they arrived and were released to their father’s care. I asked the woman on the phone to hold the amount quoted to me until the next day. Well, the next day rolls around and now I’m on the phone with someone else and ready to purchase the tickets. I give my confirmation number to him and he tells me that it will be more than what was quoted. An argument ensues and now I’m pissed off that they are not honoring the price that was quoted less than 24 hours earlier. It seems that the woman who reserved the flight for us the day before forgot to add $100 for the trip returning to Albuquerque. I begin to explain to the man that the woman who reserved the flight for us and quoted us the price should honor the amount. He counters my statement with “You are just trying to get away with not paying the unaccompanied minor fee for the trip home. You should have known by the simple math that something wasn’t right.” He continues to berate me, explaining that “usually one parent pays for the fee upon departure and the other parent pays for the fee on the way back.” My mouth was dropped open at that point. I NEVER explained my situation or that they were going to meet their father. That never even came up. He just assumed it. My kids could have been flying to see their grandparents or other family members, yet he chose to treat me like I was some desperate single mother trying to trick American Airlines into paying for one of the fees. What was I going to do? I needed to book the flight so I bent over and let American Airlines give it to me!

But it doesn’t end there. The day came to take them to the airport and unfortunately for some reason I thought the flight was at 7:30am. We were pretty much ready to go and I just needed to get the itinerary and flight information and we would be off, when I discovered that we might actually be late for the flight. We quickly got everything loaded in the car and headed to the airport. We parked and rushed to the check-in. We still had about ten minutes to the cut off time (you must be checked in 30 minutes before departure). I was so happy we made it. We got to the counter and I said to the woman “We made it!” and she asked which flight. I told her and she said “No problem, you have time.” At that point she excused herself for a moment, came back and said “This man will help you as soon as he is done.” I looked at her perplexed but I still felt confident everything would be ok. The man to the right of her was chattering away with a couple he knew and they were talking about cookies. I stood there wondering why he wasn’t doing his job. Then finally he begins to check the kids in when he says, “Oh, I’m sorry but you will have to take the next flight out because you missed the cut off time.” I told him I was here ten minutes before the cut off and he said that when we got to him it was past the cut off time. Gee, I wonder why? He was so busy talking about those cookies that he didn’t even notice that we were standing there. But what the fuck was up with the original woman who told me that I still had time? What was she doing the whole time??? She was checking in other people!

I continue to argue with the man and he says that he had a flight leaving at 1:30pm and that wouldn’t arrive in Philly until 9:30pm. I told him that this was unacceptable and he proceeded to tell me that it would be ANOTHER $150.00 for catching that flight! I felt like I was being scammed! I told him AGAIN that I was here before the cut off and that his co-worker referred us to him and that we have been waiting all this time. He asked her and she told him that was actually what happened because she didn’t know how to do an Unaccompanied Minor check-in. So he didn’t charge us the $150.00 but said that we STILL would have to take the 1:30pm flight because the next flight out was booked up. I told him absolutely not, and to get them on the flight that was leaving in exactly 20 minutes from now. He did it and off we ran to the security check point. I was allowed to bring my kids all the way to the gate and see them off, and the attendant gave me a pass to go. Because Simmi was also with us and because of her age she did not need a pass…but this particular security officer did not know that. She held us up for over 10 minutes calling her supervisor. I told her that a pass for the baby was not necessary and she didn’t believe me. Her supervisor came and he told her the same damn thing! So now we had to fight our way through the crowd and go through to their gate. We ran all the way and as we got to gate the plane was pulling away. We missed the flight anyway. I explained to the woman at the desk the whole story and she looked at the tickets and says “Oh, these tickets are for the flight at 1:30pm.” HUH? The man never switched them back and booked us for that 1:30pm flight after all! I started getting even more aggravated and she got the kids on the very next flight leaving at 8:00am. This is the same exact flight that the other man said was sold out.

I watched as my kids boarded the plane and I waited till it left the runway to leave. They were so excited and thrilled to be traveling alone. When they got to Philly safely I felt like I could finally rest. From now on, I will be calling all other airlines to schedule flights for my children. I NEVER want to put them on one of American Airlines planes again. I feel they didn’t honor the amount quoted, then proceeded to insult and accuse me, and finally tried to milk another $150.00 out of me due to their incompetence. They have lost my respect and my patronage.

Bald Beauty of the Day

He Came Home to See Us

On March 18th two major things happened. We were up bright and early to take Noah and Shoshie to the airport seeing them off for spring break and later on that day, Dom was set to arrive in Albuquerque coming home until March 22nd.

Dom decided not to shave the whole time that we were apart and it was quite a surprise to see him with a full beard. He looked like a rugged mountain man, sexy, desirable and ready to pounce! I didn’t know what Simmi would do when she saw him with the beard, but all she did was look into those caring, kind and penetrating eyes…see his smile and hear his voice and she lit up smiling and squealing. Yes, Poppie was home! I have been away from the computer and took time off from my work to concentrate only on us. It was such an emotionally charged four days, filled with laughter, tears, excitement, playtime and fun. We let the world fade away and made the most of our time together.

I wish I had more time with him and I hope soon that he will be home for good. It was quite an eye opener for him to see our home and what we live with. Its one thing for me to tell him that we are living bare boned, but it is quite another to see it in the flesh. Walking into the house, he slowly scanned each room and I could see the concern in his eyes. The reality of our life and what we have (and don’t have) was overwhelming to witness. We have dishes, cookware, silverware, a table and chairs. There is a couch and chair in the living room and a small TV, three mattresses that sit on the floor and boxes that pose as tables. There are no curtains or blinds on any windows, and we each have enough clothes to get through one week. Looking at our unfinished floor was probably the most difficult to view. When we ripped the carpet up, there was just concrete there. The concrete is partially painted from the last tenants and there is glue stuck to the floor where they glued down the foam that goes under a carpet. Its not pretty, I’ll give you that much! In an effort to cover up the bare concrete and protect us from the chemicals and dust that come up through the pores of the concrete, I put down a very heavy duty plastic tarp. This tarp is BLACK like a garbage bag and sealed at the middle seam with duct tape. The sides are stapled to the wall trim. It is perhaps the ugliest thing that we have to look at every day. At this point we can not afford to do any further work on the house because we need to save money to get Dom home here for good. He will have to drive cross country to get here with his car and the last time he did that in December (bringing my car here) it cost well over $700.00 in gas, food and lodging. But I have to say that with him being here, regardless of what we have or don’t have, our house felt like home. He completes it all and fills the house with warmth and love. With him here I didn’t even notice our missing curtains or forced minimalist style.

Saying goodbye was hard, but it was hardest on Simmi. She does understand what “bye bye” means, and as soon as she heard him say that she began to cry…and then scream. It was a hurt sounding cry, deep and sorrowful. When he gets back to Maryland he is going to try to put together a benefit concert to raise money for him to get home and for things we need here in the house. I thought it was a really cool idea, but I often have doubts about how much we can raise. Its a tough time for everyone in this economy.

If anyone would like to help us out, there is a donation button via Paypal on my side bar. Any amount would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

Bald Beauty of the Day

I’m Trying to Get My Groove Back

For the last two and a half weeks I have felt disjointed, lost, thrown off schedule and totally absent minded. Its like I am wandering in a brain fog. Have you ever had a great schedule where you were able to get things done and felt like you actually accomplished something, even if you didn’t get everything you wanted done? Not too long ago I felt that way! Ever since we came down with colds I feel like I haven’t been able to recoup my “groove.” I’m trying to get my groove back and I’m finding it very difficult. Not just that, but before I caught a cold, I felt like I had to work really hard to get everything done and just let go of the things I couldn’t complete for the day.

I spent a good portion of November and December of last year coming up with my writing roster for 2009. I had everything planned out, and I knew exactly what I was going to write about and when I was going to post it. I even gave myself a little wiggle room just in case something happened that was more pressing or if I had to take time off from my writing. But now I look at the plans I made and none of it looks so good to me anymore! I made my plans for 2009 in 2008 when I was still living in Maryland and I think its time to get a new groove on.

Back then, Dom was with us every day and life always flowed better. I have to restructure my time since he isn’t here. I was beating myself up wondering why it seemed like I could never get everything done, and then I realized that the most supportive person in my life is 2,000 miles away from me. Also, in the last week and a half I have created two new websites; one for Simmi and one for my husband. I’ll be sure to put up a link to his site as soon as we are ready…we’re still adding some things to it.

So I need a new groove. It’s been close to three weeks since I have been able to just sit and read my favorite blogs or even done anything just for me. Tomorrow Dom will be coming home until Sunday and it will be a great time for us to sit down together and talk about a good direction for me to go in. I definitely need some guidance in that department lately, because I feel like I am running on auto-pilot. I need to figure out how I can efficiently create time between my work online, my family life, and my “me” time. I need that.

Simmi can be very unpredictable, the kids need to do things, I need to write, I need to consider business opportunities that I have been putting off and haven’t come to a decision about, the house still needs more done to it and I need to start thinking about my life as I more closely consider going to the raw food lifestyle. That is a dynamic shift and one that takes a fair amount of time each day as well. My struggle with raw foods right now is the fact that Simmi has multiple food allergies, and I can not bring nuts, legumes or seeds into the house until I know for sure that she isn’t allergic to them. If a person is allergic to peanuts, chances are they are also allergic to tree nuts and other legumes. If she is in fact allergic to other legumes and tree nuts, that cuts a significant amount of protein out of my diet and that could spell disaster. On a raw food diet, a lot of protein is not necessary, but having some is important. If she is allergic, I can have none. I’m trying to work all that out as well. And last but not least is our beautiful back yard. I haven’t even begun to plan out what we will plant as far as fruit trees, veggies or flower. I fear that I will miss the growing season this year. I know that I will still be able to plant fruit trees, but I was really looking forward to also having a nice little garden.

I am hoping to feel totally refreshed by Monday and hopefully armed with a new plan and direction for my complex and totally blessed life.

Bald Beauty of the Day

My Youngest Daughter is Growing Up!

Should I be worried that my THIRTEEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER looks like this? Oh…My…God! My child is growing up before my very eyes. This is my youngest daughter Shoshannah and like I just said, she is only 13 years old. She turns 14 in July and next year she can get her drivers permit. She took this picture of herself today on her cell phone and all giddy-like scrambles into my room and says “Mom wanna see a new picture I took?” My jaw dropped. I’m sorry but this pubescent girl looks like a woman! She had another growth spurt and now she is taller than me too.

Shoshannah is a pure joy– always. She is sweetness and light. I’m gonna save all the mushy stuff though for her 14th birthday and do to her what I did to Noah on this blog! If you haven’t read my post “My Son Turns 12 Today”, just click the link.

She plays the cello, works her ass off in school, she’s a great friend and an awesome daughter. But right now as I write this I’m distracted by this photograph of her! My god where did the time go? It seems like yesterday that she was only two years old with her blankie in one hand and her thumb in her mouth. She was my little shadow, following me around all over the house. She was never demanding, she would just quitely come up beside me where ever I was and suck that little thumb of hers. Sometimes I didn’t even know she was there! I could take her anywhere too. She never wandered off without me and if I just looked down for a moment, I was greeted with the largest dark chocolate eyes I have ever seen. She is altogether lovely! Not much has changed all these years. Well she stopped sucking her thumb of course, but she still loves to be near me. We have a very beautiful relationship and I cherish her and thank God for her everyday. Shoshie adores Simone and watches over her after school for me. She is the only one other than Dom and I that can handle her. Noah is great with Simmi too, don’t get me wrong, but Shoshie has taken the reins when it comes to caring for her when I need to do things. It has been great training for her, because she wants to start a babysitting job or any job! A job??? Geez, can’t you just stay my little girl for a while longer?

I’m going to miss them when they leave for spring break next week and it will be even harder when they are away for most of the summer.

My Kids Will be Traveling Alone For the First Time!

Next week my two youngin’s will be leaving to visit their dad on the East Coast. Shoshie is 13 and Noah is 12. It will be the first time EVER that they will be traveling alone by plane to go anywhere. Just to share how neurotic I am about my kids and the airport, I drove them crazy constantly looking for them when we were on our way out to New Mexico. Every two seconds I was looking up, looking around, scanning people in the crowd, taking mental notes of those who stood in close proximity to my children. I’m a basket case! Forget when Noah has to go to the bathroom at the airport…I make him go into the ladies bathroom (which he hates) and he either has to go in with me or with Shoshie.

I have always kept a very watchful eye over my kids when we travelled anywhere, and now that they will be traveling alone, I’m FREAKED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They will be en route for 7 1/2 hours and have to get on two different airplanes. Three hours for the first flight, an hour wait time between flights and then finally boarding the second plane to complete the journey. I had all these things running through my mind over the last month as I knew I would have to purchase the tickets for them to fly; plane crashes, flight delays for hours, perverts in the bathrooms, stalkers trailing them from one gate to another, weirdos on the plane trying to touch them in the next seat…you name it, and I have that scenario playing in my head. Are my fears unfounded? Uh, NO! There have been young girls molested on airplanes, boys touched in bathrooms, strangers giving the “look” to small children. Some of which I have witnessed myself as I was traveling with my kids. Some weirdos don’t seem to care that an adult is present with the child…so what do you do when you aren’t there to protect or shield them? At one point on our way to New Mexico, we were in between flights and since the kids were hungry, we stopped in a pizza shop. I was sitting at the table with Simmi while Shoshie and Noah went up to get some pizza. At the next table over from us, was a man sitting there ogling Shoshie as she stood in line. She was unaware that this man was looking at her in a manner that was totally unacceptable. I don’t stand for that shit, especially since he didn’t care that I was sitting right there. In that moment, this pissed off bald mama stood to her feet, and walked over to the man and stood there very angry just staring at him. I stood there until he turned around in his seat and stopped looking at her. I am sure that it was unnerving to have a furious bald chick that was nearly unhinged staring him down. I said not one word to him…I just stood there staring at him. He got the point. He never looked at her again. By the time Shoshie turned around, I was already back in my seat and she had no idea what had just transpired. These are the things I think about as my kids travel alone.

Noah and Shoshie are great kids, with good heads on their shoulders. I have full confidence in their ability to travel and I know that they are so excited about going. Since they are under the age of 16, I have to pay an unaccompanied minor fee. This fee covers the cost of one of the flight crew members assisting the kids from one terminal to another so they can get on their next flight. A month ago, I didn’t know about this cool feature. I couldn’t imagine the two of them flying into an airport and having to find the next terminal alone, so I waited till I had enough money just in case I needed to take a flight with them to the halfway point and then turn around and come home. There was no way I was going to allow them to just “find their way” to the next plane. Luckily American Airlines assured me that they will not be left alone at anytime during the whole flight. The cost of this fee is around $150.00 and it covers everything round trip.

They are so excited to go back to the east coast and see their dad and his fiancee and all their friends (credit for the picture of the two of them goes to their future mom! Is that picture of them awesome or what?). They are counting down the days right now, making plans and lists of all the stuff they are gonna do. They are so excited…and of course, I am a wreck! My stomach turns every time they mention the flight. I can’t help it, but I know I will be fine once they have landed and they are safely delivered into the arms of their father.

Bald Beauty of the Day

I’m Not Well

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then hopefully the photo on the left will be sufficient to express how I feel (and probably look) right now. I have a cold. I have been on and off line over the last few days and I haven’t posted anything new. I can’t even think clearly at the moment.

My son Noah was the first to get sick and for the last week he has been home, sacked out on the couch. I could feel the cold coming on, but just kept pushing myself until a few days ago. I definitely need more rest, and hopefully Simmi and Shoshie won’t get what I have.

I usually make my rounds in the blogosphere, and I haven’t even been able to read new things that my favorite bloggers have been putting out. Its funny how bloggers have their own sort of community and love to keep up with what others are up to. It always makes the day a little bit brighter reading something humorous, or deep or just plain crazy. I read a LOT of blogs everyday on top of other things that I do online and everything has come to a standstill for me.

Here is a very small list of some of the sites I love to frequent…stop by and read a post for me and maybe even leave a comment!

The Authoring Auctioneer

Mommy With a Penis

Sassy Bitch Society

Naked in Eden

The Melindaville Blog

Revellian

Diary of a Heretic

Studio 307

Click Here to Continue

My Life Coach Tara

That’s my small list…I do have more that I have listed on my “Great Links” page.

I hope to be back to my old self in the next few days. Thanks for reading!

Bald Beauty of the Day

Good News and Big Girl Panties

OK, I have some really good news to report. A few days ago when I was talking to my man, he told me he spoke to our landlady and she will NOT be selling the house. He had a heart to heart with her, and by the end of the conversation she said that she would continue to rent to us. (I don’t know why I’m putting this picture of myself up on the left!)

I’m very relieved that we won’t have to look for another place to live. I had so many big plans for this house, so my mind is shifted back to completing the large task at hand–painting, repairing and replacing the floors, and designing the kids rooms. We don’t mind making the investment as long as we can stay in the house for at least five years.

I just thought I would share that with all of you. I’m giving a big cyber hug (((HUG))) to all those who have kept us in their thoughts and prayers through this past week. I felt like it was the week from hell.

Now, the title of this piece is “Good News and Big Girl Panties” so by now you are probably wondering about those big girl panties right?

Well…

A few weeks ago my husband and his mom decided to go shopping for some clothes for me and kids. They wanted to send a nice package filled with lots of goodies and much needed clothing. Dom asked about the sizes of the kids and I, and I gave him all the information. Now, over the last two months I have been busy getting clothing needed for the kids and I didn’t bother to buy anything for myself. Basically I have one pair of jeans, a few white tee-shirts, about five pairs of underwear and some socks…oh, and a jacket. But that’s it. A really nice lady here in NM donated some yoga pants and shirts to me, and those are great for around the house, but I can’t wear them out. Anyway, Dom was excited to get me some new clothes and I usually trust his judgment…he has great taste in clothing and shoes.

Last week the long awaited package arrived, and filled of excitement, I ripped open the box. His mom lovingly wrapped each our things and put tags on everything (it was like Christmas all over again). The kids were in school at that time, so I just opened the stuff for Simmi and I. Her stuff was so cute, and mine…uh, well, I stood there smiling and trying to process what I had just received! The first thing I grabbed were two pairs of jeans. I unfold them and WOW! BELL BOTTOM JEANS! I don’t mind a boot cut, but I started to chuckle at these things. In my mind, I started to see myself as the late Latin Diva Selena. Damn the bottom of them were wide! No problem though, because I could just cut the bottoms and make carpi’s out of them. Then I take out the next thing; polyester beige grandma pants with a complete elastic waist! Oh my, now I’m laughing. There were also tee-shirts which were very nice but what took the cake for me was the underwear. I told him not to get anything too sexy since he was out with his mom, but that I wanted something nice. I didn’t pay attention to the size of these things because I was looking at the picture on the cover and wondered what the hell he was thinking even getting this kind! Here is a picture I took of the package:

I’m wondering if he even looked at the STYLE of underwear that he chose for me! I would never wear underwear like that. Maybe he was busy looking at the hot chick wearing those underwear since she is the only one in the universe that could pull off such feat and still look good!

Since I was really in need of underwear (you can never have too many) I decided to open up the package and see exactly what they looked like. I took a picture of that too, just so you could see just how huge these things are! He must have gotten the wrong size for me, because when I opened them up, I never bothered to see what size they were….UH…..size HUMONGOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

I put this fantastic pair of panties on top of Simmi’s stroller so you could see the sheer magnitude of these things! I can cover the stroller with them!

Just for shits and giggles I tried them on. Let-me-tell-you, that when I say these things were big on me, I mean HUGE. They literally came up past my ribcage right under my boobs! I even went over to the mirror just to see what I looked like in them. I nearly pissed in those things laughing so hard!

So it got me to wondering if he wasn’t really thinking about the chick on the cover of the underwear box, but instead if he was thinking of the two hot ladies that he told me he hooked up with in a moment of weakness, because to tell you the truth, he must have been thinking of them when he bought me those Big Girl Panties! Here he is with his “lady friends.” I was suspicious after seeing those panties, so I hired a private detective to see what Dom was up to. I got the picture on the right in the mail from the private eye.

Tonight Dom called me to tell me that he is coming home to see us in two weeks and that was such a great surprise. It has been almost two months since I last saw him. I have an awesome night planned for him when he gets here! Wine, candle light, figs and olives, and of course all I will be wearing are my new big girl panties!

I’ve Launched a New Site

I’ve launched a new site called “Loving Simone”. There is so much to her care and to her story that I thought it would be better to have a blog site dedicated to Simmi.

The picture on the left of the owl is a part of the theme that I purchased for her site, but I really don’t know much at all about what I need to do to customize the template. In a few months when I have some extra cash I’ll get someone to do it for me.

The template that I have is just darling, and I was really disappointed that I would have to launch the site without it. In the mean time I downloaded a nice clean template that will stay in place until I can have someone work on the Wisdom Tree template. Here is a screen shot of what “Loving Simone” looks like right now:

I have reposted a few of the articles that I wrote about Simmi onto Loving Simone, and now that her site is launched, I will be adding new content about her there with smaller updates about how she is doing on Alopecian Muse.

Loving Simone will go into detail about all things Simmi! Videos, photos, recipes for food allergic children, her medical care and much more. Make sure to stop by and say hi!

Here is a screen shot of what Simmi’s site will eventually look like:

Uncertainty Grips My Soul

I have been keeping busy over the last few days making changes to my blog, tending to family needs, and feeling crushed under weight of uncertainty. At times I feel as though I can not breathe, and I find my mind going blank as my soul screams out.

My husband dropped a bomb on me a few days ago and I have been filled with anger and disbelief; expressionless sorrow. He called to tell me that our landlady is going to sell the house that we just moved in to. What? How could this be? Before we signed the lease and moved in, we told her father (who has power of attorney on the property) that our intentions were to stay for a long time because we are not in a position to purchase a home. The house is in need of a lot of TLC, and we were prepared to do the work necessary to make it suitable for Simmi. About two weeks after we moved into the house, the landlady’s father had four massive strokes. He was our advocate, and the one who assured us that we would be able to live here for an extended period of time. Now he is fragile and weak, barely able to speak. He needs physical therapy for his hand skills as well. So what does all this have to do with the uncertainty that grips my soul? Well, the landlady wants to put the house on the market so she can purchase a house for her family. She needs the money from the sale of our home to make that possible. Where do we go now? We just moved in here! There is a part of me that completely understands that she needs to take care of her family, but there is another part of me that feels irrational and wants to make judgements. I want to sympathize with her dilemma, but I feel disappointed that she doesn’t understand what we have been through as a family. To be completely honest, I find it callous of her to call my husband, knowing full well our situation, and tell him that she is selling the house. Is there any compassion in this woman’s heart? We lost everything we owned and we are rebuilding our lives. I feel as though we are being kicked while we are down. My anger is palpable and always close to the surface, making me a walking time bomb for which I am ready to unleash the fury of my sharp tongue and irrational accusations. Her parents live right across the street from us, and yesterday her mom came over to ask if I had an item she could borrow to help her husband work on his hand skills. This is the sweetest and most adorable woman ever. I am really fond of her parents, but as her mother was walking over to my house, I felt this surge of fury well up inside of me. I tried to compose myself, but I know she could see in my eyes that something wasn’t right. I couldn’t even smile when she came to the door, and as she asked me for the item she wanted, I had a half cracked smile of disdain and just kept “um hmming” her. Then I let her know kindly that we didn’t have that particular object, but we used to before we lost everything.

I have all these thoughts that may not be far from the truth, and I hope they are totally wrong. My first thought after my husband broke the news to me was “We are being scammed!” If a landlord doesn’t have the money to make the necessary repairs to a rental they are paying a mortgage on, what is the best way to get it fixed up so you can get the damn thing off your hands by selling it? The answer is offer the renter a reduced rent and some money back each month for making the repairs. If she had no intention of selling right away, then we wouldn’t mind making those repairs. The investment for us is in the health and well being of our family. You can’t put a price tag on that, and there are things definitely more important than money! But why would I go ahead and settle my family into a home that we would have to move out of in six months? Does that make sense to anyone? It makes me rip roaring mad. It messes with the emotional well being of my family as well. It wasn’t enough for them to lose everything, and now we lose this too?

Are there other homes in my area that would be a good alternative to this house? Yes and no. There are homes in this area that are for rent that are WAY better than this house, but they have wall to wall carpeting. We can’t have carpeting because of Simmi’s skin problems. There are however certain types of area rugs that she doesn’t break out from. As I said earlier, we aren’t in a position to purchase a home, so how do we know we won’t be faced with the same situation with the next house we move in to? A friend of mine offered a suggestion to try and get an extended lease. I thought that was a great idea and in the back of my mind, at the same time I’m wondering what if the house were to go into foreclosure?

All of this is maddening at times. The uncertainty of what we should do next grips me and rips at me from the inside out. I need my children to feel secure and settled. Of course they are looking at this very differently…they see it as an opportunity to get the house of their dreams! They are not used to living in such a small house and they would love to see us get a bigger one that is new. Is that possible? Yes, but it comes at the cost of Simmi’s health.

Bald Beauty of the Day

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