My Boo Boo Kitty Turns Twenty One Tomorrow!

On May 23rd, my oldest child turns 21 years old. Am I really that old? Geez! It seems like yesterday that she was just born! Gina, who I affectionately call my ‘boo boo kitty’ is my first born child, as well as Simone’s mother.

This girl always gave me a run for my money. Mischievous from birth, she made curiosity her main goal in life! Let me give you a few little stories about my Boo-Boo Kitty…

By the time Gina was a year old, she could speak fluently and it was only a few months after she was speaking in sentences that she began to be able to read, recite the alphabet, spell words forwards and backwards and ask lots of questions. She was potty trained before she was two and used to love to show off her cute little panties. One day, we had to go to court, so I got her all dressed up in her cute little dress, shoes and socks and of course her bright colored undies. I made sure she was fully dressed before we left and jumped in a cab, rushing off to the court house. We show up and all is silent during roll call. She was very well behaved with a weird grin on her face. What happened next mortified me and to this day makes me laugh. The child stood up on the bench we were sitting on, turned around to everyone in the court room, lifted up her cute little dress and proclaimed “Look!!!!! I have no panties on!” Oh-My-God! Her absolute innocence made it very difficult to ever be mad at her for some of the stunts that she would pull.

By the time she was three, my daughter Hannah was a year old. Gina loved nail polish, scissors, and really anything that could make a mess and create something interesting. Anytime something mischievous would happen, for whatever reason, she liked getting up really early to do it. Of course that meant that I was sleeping. One very early morning, Gina went searching through the house for my red nail polish. She found it hidden way up high in a cabinet. She climbed up, got the red nail polish, brought it into Hannah, who was in her crib, and proceeded to paint her red. She must have tipped the bottle over too in the process, because there were drips of red nail polish all over the carpet. After finishing her living master piece, she came into my room and tapped me on the back. I was sleeping, and I hear this little voice softly saying, “Mommy, Mommy, Hannah’s bleeding. Hannah’s bleeding Mommy. Hannah’s bleeding.” I woke up, jumped out of bed and rushed into Hannah’s room. There was my little sweet girl with her legs hanging out of the crib. She was just sitting there like some sort of bloody prisoner. She wasn’t crying, and because I was still half asleep, I didn’t smell the strong nail polish odor that emanated from the room. I started to examine Hannah to try to figure out where she was bleeding from. It looked like a blood bath in her crib. Her white crib was smeared with red polish, her legs and arms and part of her face as well. Her sheets had drips of red. At this point I was totally awake, and there was Gina standing at my side watching me examine Hannah. Gina didn’t say a word. She just stood there grinning at her work. Finally, I smelled the strong odor of nail polish and realized it was just polish and no blood was spilled. I couldn’t be angry with this child, although it was a little less innocent! She actually told me that Hannah was bleeding. Hmm? Should I have disciplined her for that? I didn’t.

Not too long after the nail polish incident, she found the scissors and decided to give her self a hair cut. We had to get it almost completely cut off, and from that point on, Gina would only wear dresses. She thought she looked like a boy.

She found all my baking supplies and one morning, decided to climb up to the top cabinet and get it all down. Flour, sugar, cinnamon, all my spices, chocolate chips, coconut shreds, walnuts and salt…Of course this was all before the break of dawn. Gina took all the ingredients, and on her brown rug in the play room, moved all the toys to make room for the giant cookie she was going to make me for breakfast. When she finished making her masterpiece cookie, she proudly woke me up and told me that she made me something. I got up out of bed, and she took me by the hand into the playroom. She puts both hands out and says, “Look, I made you a biiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggg cookie!!!!!!!!!!!” She was so proud of the work she had done. As a matter of fact, it must have taken her HOURS to make it. It did look like a giant round cookie. I just smiled and teared up to look at that sweet face. How many parents get a giant cookie for breakfast, made by their precocious three year old?

Gina was always full of energy, smiling and loving to get the best of us. She is talented in art (although she doesn’t think so) great with the flute, loves fashion and is very social. When she was nineteen years old she gave birth to Simmi. Being young and not ready to have a child, she faced one of the most difficult decisions ever. As a family, we wanted her to make the best decision for her life, and she chose to let us raise Simone. Currently, she has been missing me a lot and has been considering moving to New Mexico. In the near future I hope that will come to fruition. I miss her terribly, and would love to have her closer to me.

Happy Birthday Boo-Boo Kitty…I love you dearly!

Forgive My Absence

Please forgive such a long absence from my blog. Much has been going on in our lives and unfortunately my blog has had to take a backseat for a while. A few weeks ago my husband safely arrived here in New Mexico for good and I have been taking it all in! Its been great having him home. The past two weeks have been filled with much insecurity for Simmi and she is finally calming down. Anytime Dom would get up to do something she would freak out and start crying, thinking he was going to leave again. Its been a little nuts here. Of course he is loving every second of it. He’s plunged himself in to the Green Scene here, making connections and looking for work. Yes, he’s unemployed. It was a very difficult decision to have him move out here without a job. We’re keeping our fingers crossed for a few jobs that look very promising. We’ve had issues with Simmi’s health, issues with my health and now, in just a few days Noah and Shoshie will be leaving for the summer to be with their dad.

My hair continues to grow in and its starting to look pretty good. The photo is very deceiving though. Before I took that picture (and others) I applied a cosmetic concealer called DermMatch to my head. I have a good amount of hair that is permanently gone, but this concealer works like a charm making it look like I have a bountiful, full head of hair. I’m still learning how to use it properly, and as my hair continues to grow (and hopefully doesn’t fall out again) I’ll do an even better job at applying it. I highly recommend it for anyone that has thinning hair. I went a little crazy with the stuff though, and put so much on in certain areas that my head looked like I had just come out of coal mine. If I touched it, the dark pigment would rub off on my hands. Right now I need a lot of this stuff to make my hair look decent, and hopefully as it grows in, I’ll require less of it.

My transition back to raw foods will also be coming soon. We figured out a way for me to have tree nuts in the house. In another blog entry, I mentioned that it would be difficult for me to go back to raw foods because of Simmi’s food allergies, but we have found a way around that. On the side of my house, we have a sun room which we will be converting into a raw kitchen. I will be able to prepare raw meals without the possibility of cross contamination or potentially exposing her to tree nuts or seeds she may be allergic to. We don’t bring any type of nut product into the house, so a separate raw kitchen becomes the best way to ensure that we don’t have any problems.

I’m hoping to be back on track and NOT neglecting my blog very soon. I have a lot of catching up to do and so much to say that sometimes my mind just goes blank.

Bald Beauty of the Day

This One is for You Men

Ok men, I have some questions for you and since I’m asking questions, I would LOVE for you to answer some of them. Think about what I’m going to say and answer honestly. My questions are about the fears that many women who are going bald have about their men leaving them or not being able to find a suitable mate because they are losing their hair.

So…here it goes:

You meet a woman unexpectedly and you are immediately attracted to her. You get to know her and guess what, you fall in love. She is everything you have ever wanted in a woman and she adores and loves you fully. Everything is going great for the first two years and now you are even considering marriage. Then, all the sudden her mood changes. She is less intimate, avoids being touched and is constantly in the bathroom looking at her hair. She doesn’t talk to you about it because quite frankly, she is afraid that she is going bald and that you will leave her. In her panicked state, she becomes even more withdrawn and emotionally she is no longer there for you. She doesn’t look at you the same anymore. She doesn’t even turn you on any more. Is it her hair? Or is it her attitude? Your woman finally confesses that she has been dealing with hair loss for a number of years and she is frantic about taking that next step with you. Her fear has gotten the best of her…or has it? Does she in fact have something to worry about? Will you leave her if she loses anymore hair? She shows you the areas of thinning hair, and you smile at her and say “I don’t see what you’re talking about.” Now she’s crying because either she is crazy or you are just being nice. She wanted to tell you sooner, but didn’t want to lose you. Is that shallow of her or would she be right on the mark thinking that you don’t want her anymore? How would you men feel if you knew the love of your life was losing her hair? Would you feel helpless?

Once the cat is out of the bag so to speak concerning hair loss, it opens up yet another door…endless chatter about her hair loss. Her inner compulsion and obsessive behavior about how her hair looks is now out on the table and it seems that is all she wants to talk about. You look at her and don’t know what to say and she cries again. Now she is crying all the time! So you are turned off, and now you don’t want to even listen to her anymore. Is it her hair? Is it the way she looks? Or is it something else?

This goes on for days, and days turn to weeks and months and all the sudden you look back and two more years have passed. Are you brave enough to stick it out or are you having second thoughts about this woman? She doesn’t look like she used to, she certainly doesn’t look at you the way she used to and its hard to always be talking about the same damn thing day after day. She is constantly asking you to check out her bald spots. You can see they are getting much worse, but you tell her that you love her no matter what. She says she wants a wig, she wants a laser comb, she wants $15,000 worth of laser therapy, she wants a hair system that gets glued to her head that costs $5,000 and then $250.00 per month thereafter, she wants a hair transplant, she has read extensively online and is purchasing more and more products that promise to grow hair. Are you in it for the long haul? What would you do? Would you support her in her quest to look “normal” and if so what are your real feelings about all of it? Or maybe you would give her what she wants just to shut her up so that you can both go back to your lives the way it was before she opened her mouth and told you about her hair loss problem.

Nothing you do snaps her out of it. You compliment her and she rejects the compliment. She doesn’t believe you. Over time you stop giving those compliments. You want to take her out for her birthday, but she would rather stay at home in a dark room looking up hair loss cures. You are incredibly hurt at this point…but are you in it for the long haul? Would you leave her then? Why the fuck would you stay with a woman like that? She is driving you crazy. You still get horny from time to time and she won’t come near you and if you touch her she flinches or is really tense. Why do you stay? Are you a glutton for punishment? Or is there more?

More time has passed and now she looks hideous. You are afraid to tell her that she looks like a cancer patient. She tries so hard to make her hair look full, but at this point it is no use. She definitely needs either a wig or she needs to shave it all off. Which do you prefer? The wig? It doesn’t stay on all the time you know. How about the bald look? Now, you aren’t going to offend me if you don’t think the bald thing is for you. But how do you feel about it? Would you embrace your wife or lover bald? Look at her! She is dieing inside. All the beauty has left her eyes and she never smiles anymore. What do you do? Would you finally leave her? What if she wanted to finally be done with all the hair and she wanted you to shave it all off for her. Would you do it?

You both come to the decision to shave her head. You look at her sitting there in the chair crying as usual, but something feels so right about shaving it all off. You take out the buzzer and shave off the first piece. Damn that feels good huh? Its like you are taking away the one thing that has put a wall between you and your lover! All the sudden, she’s not crying anymore. Its strange, but you come around the front of her and she looks peaceful, serene…beautiful. The silence is deafening in the room and then you start the buzzer again. You shave the rest of her hair off and she is as calm as a Hindu cow. She feels her head, but you can’t wait to look into her eyes again and as you do, you see your woman for the first time in years. Her eyes are shining, she is smiling, peaceful, and best of all, she is looking at you the way she used to. You take the next step and pull out the shaving cream and razor. She is ready. You lather her up and take out the razor and begin shaving her head. Why does this feel so right? Why does it feel so good? Do you want to leave her now that she is completely bald? Or are you in it for the long haul?

You take a long look at her and realize that she is just as stunning as the first day you saw her. There are new feelings of love that are sparked…new passion ignited. Is it because she now has no hair or is it because you just shared something so intimate? In the moment of her greatest fragility, you treated her with tenderness and love…

How do you feel about her now?

That little story is typical in the life of a man who lives with a woman suffering with hair loss. Many women will be able to relate to the story, but how many men can relate too? Women are deathly afraid of losing their hair, but even more afraid of losing their man. Does the fear turn into reality? I believe it can, but not because she is losing her hair…its because of her attitude and self consumed obsessive behavior. I believe that men deserve more credit for the love they have to share. You men constantly amaze me with the amount of tenderness and compassion you have. I know about this because you see, that little story is similar to what my husband went through. Did he stay? Absolutely. Is he in it for the long haul? Most certainly.

Ok, here is another scenario…

You see an attractive woman with GORGEOUS hair…man oh man, she is the full package. She’s beautiful, funny, great body and she’s got you. She also has a secret. You know she is hiding something, but you don’t pay too much attention. Then one day she drops the bomb on you…she was wearing a wig for the six months you were dating. She decides to take that wig off and show you because she is all torn up inside about hiding it. You are stunned. Is it her hair? Or is it the fact that she didn’t tell you in the first place? She didn’t know if she could trust you, but now she is in love and wants to get it all out in the open. Her hair doesn’t just look bad, it is god awful! Chunks of hair missing and not just that, the beautiful blond wig once removed revealed the true color of her almost non-existent hair. Do you run for the hills? Is the wig important to you? She has taken the attitude “If you love me it shouldn’t matter what I look like, and if you can’t handle it, screw you.” You are scared. You have never seen such a thing before, except on old ladies in the supermarket that try to tease their hair up and dye it red to look “younger.” What do you do? Is she still the full package, or is she damaged goods?

Here’s two more for you, and then I’ll shut up:

You meet a woman and there is something “off” about her. You are so drawn to her eyes and smile that you don’t notice that she is in fact going bald. Its noticeable. Would you date her? There is something about her that has you intrigued, and standing there beside her is a woman that has a full, thick beautiful head of hair, and she is stunningly beautiful…but she isn’t intriguing. What do you do? Would you go with the one that was intriguing or the one that seemed “perfect?”

Would you approach and ask out a completely bald woman? You have never seen one in person before, and now you can’t take your eyes off of her. You are stunned that you find her so attractive. What do you do? Is it her lack of hair that attracts you or is there something in her eyes?

Bald Beauty of the Day

My Son’s Documentary About Bob Marley

On April 24, 2009 my son Noah was invited to enter a National History Day contest. He chose to work on a documentary about Bob Marley. Throughout the process of his compiling data, writing his script and creating his documentary presentation, I was very impressed with his dedication not only to the process, but also with the degree of integrity he employed. This is a project that he alone can take all credit for. He sat for hours on end finding pictures online, gathering his sources and making his mama VERY proud. Many of the kids at his school had already started their project before we moved to Rio Rancho, so he had quite a bit of catching up to do.

The contest was held at the National Hispanic Cultural Center in Albuquerque, NM. The architecture and grounds were visually stunning. I was impressed by how beautiful the center was.

We got to the Cultural Center bright and early, and I was unsure how the day would play out since Simmi was with us. The contest took place from 8:30am-4:30pm and I was sure that something would end up going wrong. Taking a toddler to a full day event is not the easiest thing to do, especially when she has as many health concerns as she has. Simmi did surprisingly well, but around 12:00pm she finally started to get too upset to stay. Noah went before some judges and presented his documentary. I thought he did a great job, but of course, I’m his mother…so I’m going to be partial. There were some technical glitches for a student that was supposed to go on before him and since there were problems, for reasons that still baffle me, the judges decided not to let anyone in to view his work. The students are supposed to be able to view their peers projects and I was a little upset that no one could come in to see his work. I asked one of the judges if I could come in and view it, and she reluctantly said yes. I told her that I would also be filming it…I don’t think she liked that very much. I WISH the sound quality on my video camera was more clear, because while the judges were talking to him about his work, they asked an interesting question, “Who helped you write your documentary? Did anyone contribute to it?” My son is extremely smart and he is an excellent writer. I’d like to add that at twelve years old, he is a better writer than a lot of adults! That is not a biased statement from this doting mother. He has the makings of a great writer, and has a style all his own. I had a feeling that the judges would ask if he wrote the script, and when they asked, my heart sank just a little. Why is it impossible to believe that a twelve year old boy wrote the script? Beyond that question, they felt that he did a good job. They felt that the pictures could have been of a better quality, but over all they liked that he chose Bob Marley for his documentary.

I could have helped him with the pictures, but I felt it was better to for him to take care of the project all on his own. Needless to say, disappointment ensued when his documentary was not chosen as one of the finalists. As we were leaving, he looked at me and asked, “Do you think they didn’t choose my work because they didn’t think I wrote it?” All I could do was say “yes.” We were never told why they didn’t choose his documentary, but I know he is very proud of the work that he did. In that, he is quite satisfied. Disappointment will always come face to face with our children, but teaching them to handle it with grace and dignity is important. I want him to grow up celebrating the accomplishments of others that worked just as hard as he did on their projects. The whole process was a great experience for him and a treasured moment in time for me, because I got to witness my son’s dedication to working in excellence both emotionally and intellectually and in the end achieved his personal best. What more could a mother ask for?

Here is his process paper and following that is a slide I put together of our day at the Cultural Center and finally ending it with his documentary:

The Life and Legacy of Bob Marley
Noah Kleinman
Junior Division
Individual Documentary

Why I chose this topic?

Bob Marley has been an inspiration to me since I started listening to his music.  His message of freedom opened my mind into a new kind of music and what music can tell you.  In my way of thinking his music was a milestone in history.  He is the symbol of peace almost everywhere and to everyone who knows him.  I would someday like to do what he does, and inspire people to let go, live your life to the fullest, and “Get Up, Stand, Up.”

How I conducted my research and created my documentary:

I moved from Maryland to Rio Rancho at about the 2nd semester.  My class was only a few months in on their projects so I joined in and chose to do Bob Marley.  My teacher went to the public library and checked out a few books on Bob Marley.  I took notes on important information in these books and then wrote a narration script.  I then went on to Windows Movie Maker and narrated my timeline first and then went on to Google and an archive site to get the pictures for my narration. I timed it all and added all my titles and music.  I then burned it onto a DVD.  I brought it to the regional contest in my school and got 2nd place.  I knew it needed more content so I researched some more on Google and my teacher found some newspaper and magazine articles and rewrote my script.  I found more pictures and revised my movie.  I got more DVDs and published it.  I was then ready for show time.

How my project relates to the theme:

My project deals with Bob Marley, an individual, who created music that changed some people’s daily lives.  It allowed the South Africans to deal with the apartheid system, and made rivaled leaders of political gangs join hands and be at peace with each other.  Time Magazine even says that he, “…rivals the government as a political force.”  His legacy is still heard in other music styles like R&B and hip-hop.  He will go down in history for this.

Annotated Bibliography

Primary Sources:
Farley, Christopher.  Remembering Bob Marley,
Time Magazine., 2005
I gathered primary source quotes from this article.

Unknown Author.  The Best Of The Century.
Time Magazine., 1999
I got the Time Magazine’s best album, Exodus, from this article.

Lloyd Bradley.  This Is Reggae Music.
1st ed. NY: Grove Atlantic Inc., 2000
This gave me primary source information on the reggae field before and after Bob Marley.

Secondary Sources:
Unknown Author.  Jamaica Politics and Bob Marley One Love Peace Concert.  RASTA-MAN-VIBRATION.COM
I was able to find secondary source quotes and information on Marley’s One Love peace concert.

Unknown Author.  Bob Marley.
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame + Museum., 1994
I got primary and mostly secondary quotes, information on Bob’s induction ceremony, and a timeline of the important events in his life.

Picture Credits:
Urban Images
Google Images Search

Someone is Posing as Me!

As of May 2, 2009 the picture on the left is me. That’s right, this bald chick’s hair loss is going in remission. I won’t know for another six months if my hair is stable, but for now it is. I have both scarring and non-scarring Alopecia. Scarring Alopecia’s technical name is Cicatricial Alopecia. The scar exists under the skin and no outward signs of scarring can be seen. Upon close examination of my scalp, you will however see that there are no openings for hair to grow. The holes are closed up. This is a permanent loss of hair that can NEVER grow back. I have these spots all over my scalp. I also have been through a wide range  of other forms of non-scarring Alopecia which is not permanent. Over the last five and a half years, I have not seen as much growth as I have now. I attribute this awesome hair growth to the lack of mold out here in the South West. Hair that seemed to be missing for so long has awakened like Sleepy Hollow. Those hairs that have been sleeping have chosen to awaken white as snow. It is definitely a very interesting look for me.

So here I am in all my glory. No make up, and newly growing almost full head of hair coming in. I posted that picture yesterday on the Women’s Hair Loss Project Network. Well, today, I get a private message on the Network from one of the ladies who was concerned about a blog site she stumbled upon and it had a picture of ME there. She gave me the link, and I was angry beyond all belief by what I saw. Let me give you a little background about the Women’s Hair Loss Project Network and Forum…

The Network and Forum were created to be a safe place for women to come and talk about their hair loss and seek comfort and support. I wrote an article about the Network if you would like to read it here. Anyway, one of the reasons I love the Network and Forum is that you will not find any kind of advertising for hair loss products of any kind. The owner of the site has dedicated her life to helping women who suffer from hair loss. There are lots of forums and membership sites out there and the one thing they all have in common is that they offer some sort of products. Now, there is nothing wrong with making money, but I believe that there should be at least one place in the whole of the world wide web where women can escape from being bombarded by someone peddling a wig, topper, laser comb, laser treatments, pills and potions all promising to grow that head of hair back. The hair loss product industry is huge! There is a lot of money to be made there. On the Alopecian Muse, I have also chosen NOT to sell any products related to hair loss. My reason? I believe that women can be beautiful bald, and if they see that there is yet another option in being bald, why not?! Not everyone can afford expensive wigs, hair systems, loony “laser therapy” that doesn’t work, hair loss potions, or harmful medication that may or may not help in the hair growth process. We are bombarded everyday with these things, and when you are a woman and you are going bald, you will try almost ANYTHING to get that head of hair back. One woman said to me joking around that if hair would grow back by strangers pissing on her head, she would let them do it just so it would grow again. Was she really joking? I don’t think so. Hair loss is such a deeply emotionally scarring process that leaves both men and women feeling less than beautiful. Less secure. Those of us who have experienced it have gone through times of isolation, pushing away even those we love the most out of self preservation.

So…who is the freaking poser? Well, it is obviously a new member of the Women’s Hair Loss Project Network. You wouldn’t believe it if I told you how many people peddling products sign up trying to sell their shit on the Network. Selling stuff will get you immediately banned from the site, but that doesn’t stop greedy people from trying anyway.

This woman copied pictures of me and a few other ladies on the Network and decided to post them on her blog as HER! Beyond the fact that it is not her in those photos, she is using the picture of ME and my new hair growth to sell an e-book titled “Reverse Female Hair Loss” written by a woman named Ashley Michaels. Why would this chick need to use pictures of women on the Network instead of her own? Not only that, but gives a bogus testimony? It is all a big lie and hoax! This woman is trying to get her piece of the hair loss pie and wants to use unsuspecting women to do so! Do you see anything wrong with that? Here are two screen shots of her site:

I plan on also leaving a nice little blog on the Network directed at her, so after I do that she may actually remove the site and/or pictures. I thought a few screen shots were in order just in case she does decide to take down the site. I will also be reporting this to the company she is trying to make money from…namely Ashley Michaels. There are genuinely sincere people out there that do want to help women with hair loss, and I don’t want to disparage Ashley Michaels name or e-book because I have not read it. I don’t know if her book is just a big lie, or if there is some truth to it. One thing I do know though…if I were selling an e-book and bogus claims were being employed, I would sue their asses for everything they got.

A little message for Miss Becky from “Becky’s Hair Loss Blog”:

Becky,

You have come onto the Network “claiming” to be a woman in need of support for your hair loss, but all you have done is show that you are a money grubbing, hair loss whore trying to make money off the misery and vulnerability of others. Why use our photos? Why not use your own? You make me sick beyond belief.

Go crawl back under that rock you came from you fucking snake!

No Longer Yours,

Angela

For anyone wishing to leave Miss Becky a comment on her blog about all this, I highly encourage it! She may end up removing it, so get over there as quickly as possible and leave her your thoughts! Spread the love my friends. What she did was wrong, make sure to let her know!

Here is her site:

http://beckyshairlossblog.blogspot.com/

Bald Beauty of the Day