Second Hand Smoke Causes Lung Cancer…Fact or Fiction?

In December of 1992 the EPA released it’s now famous report on second hand smoke. The report claimed that SHS causes 3,000 deaths a year, and classified it as a class A carcinogen.

Note: Although the official date of this report is December, 1992, it is commonly referred to as the EPA ‘93 study, probably because it became widely available in ‘93.

This was, and remains, a powerful weapon in the anti-smokers arsenal. If a smoker is only hurting himself, he can argue that it’s no one else’s business. But if he is hurting everyone around him, all kinds of restrictive legislation can be justified.

Did this study show SHS is deadly? Let’s examine the facts carefully.

Fact: In 1992 the EPA issued a report which claimed that Environmental Tobacco Smoke (ETS) caused 3,000 deaths per year.

Fact: ETS is commonly referred to as Second Hand Smoke (SHS). The two terms are interchangeable.

After reading each of the following facts, ask yourself “Does this fact make the study more credible, or less credible?

Fact: The EPA announced the results of the study before it was finished.

Fact: The study was a Meta Analysis, an analysis of existing studies.

Meta Analysis is very difficult to do accurately, and is the easiest kind of study to fake and manipulate. With a disease as rare as lung cancer, leaving out just a few important studies can skew the results considerably.

The term “Meta Study” is often used to describe this type of report, but the word “study” is inaccurate. The EPA has never conducted nor financed a single ETS study. They have only analyzed the studies of others. It is more accurate to refer to it as an analysis, and to its publication as a report.

Fact: The first step in a meta analysis is identifying all of the relevant studies. The EPA located 33 studies that compared ETS exposure to lung cancer rates.

Fact: The EPA selected 31 of the 33 studies. Later they rejected one of their chosen studies, bringing the total to 30.

Fact: On page 3-46 of the report the EPA estimates, based on nicotine measurements in non-smokers blood, “this would translate to the equivalent of about one-fifth of a cigarette per day.”

Fact: Studies that measured actual exposure by having non-smokers wear monitors indicate even this low estimate is exaggerated. Actual exposure (for people who live and/or work in smoky environments) is about six cigarettes per year. (See also the study by Oak Ridge National Laboratories.)

Fact: In 1995 The Congressional Research Service (CRS) released a review of the EPA report.

The CRS was highly critical of both the EPA’s methods and conclusions.

Fact: According to the CRS “The studies relied primarily on questionnaires to the case and control members, or their surrogates, to determine EST exposure and other information pertinent to the studies.”

Questionnaires can be notoriously inaccurate, as discussed in Statistics 102, but in this case some of them were not even filled out by the people being studied, but by “surrogates.” In other words, some of the information was unverified hearsay.

Fact: On page 23 of the study, paragraph 3, the CRS noted that out of 30 studies, only five found a statistically significant risk at the 95% confidence level, and one showed a statistically significant negative risk (a protective effect). The remaining 24 studies showed no statistically significant increase or decrease in risk.

Fact: Three other large US studies were in progress during the EPA’s study. The EPA used data from one uncompleted study, the Fontham study, and ignored the other two, Brownson and Kabat.

Fact: The Fontham study showed a small increase in risk. The CRS report referred to it as “a positive risk that was barely statistically significant.” (p. 25)

Fact: The CRS report said the Brownson study, which the EPA ignored, showed “no risk at all.” (p.25)

Fact: The “scientists” who conducted the Fontham study refused to release their raw data for years. They were finally forced to when Philip Morris won a lawsuit to gain access to it.

Most researchers routinely make their raw data available after studies have been published. Does Fontham’s refusal to make the data available make them more credible, or less credible?

Fact: The EPA based their numbers on a meta analysis of just 11 studies. The analysis showed no increase in risk at the 95% confidence level.

Fact: Even after excluding most of the studies, the EPA couldn’t come up with 3,000 deaths, but they had already announced the results. So they changed the CI to 90%, which, in effect, doubled their margin of error.

Fact Worth Repeating: Instead of using the 95% confidence interval, the statistical standard that has been used for decades, the EPA doubled their margin of error to achieve their pre-announced results.

Would any legitimate epidemiologist keep their job if they were caught doubling their margin of error to support a pre-announced conclusion?

Fact: After juggling the numbers, The EPA came up with an RR (Relative Risk) of ETS causing lung cancer 1.19. In layman’s terms that means:

• Exposure to the ETS from a spouse increases the risk of getting lung cancer by 19%.
• Where you’d usually see 100 cases of cancer you’d see 119.

Fact: A RR of less than 2.0 is usually written off as an unimportant result. An RR of 3.0 or higher is considered desirable. (See Statistics 101 for more details.)

This rule is routinely ignored when the subject is second hand smoke.

Facts: In review: The EPA ignored nearly two-thirds of the data. The EPA then doubled their margin of error to come up with their desired results.

Fact: Although the EPA declared ETS was a Class A carcinogen with an RR of 1.19, in analysis of other agents they found relative risks of 2.6 and 3.0 insufficient to justify a Group A classification.

Fact: In 1998 Judge William Osteen vacated the study - declaring it null and void after extensively commentating on the shoddy way it was conducted. His decision was 92 pages long.

Fact: Osteen used the term “cherry-picking” to describe he way the EPA selected their data. “First, there is evidence in the record supporting the accusation that EPA “cherry picked” its data. Without criteria for pooling studies into a meta- analysis, the court cannot determine whether the exclusion of studies likely to disprove EPA’s a priori hypothesis was coincidence or intentional. Second, EPA’s excluding nearly half of the available studies directly conflicts with EPA’s purported purpose for analyzing the epidemiological studies and conflicts with EPA’s Risk Assessment Guidelines.”

Fact: Osteen found other deep flaws in the the EPA’s methodology. In his judgment he stated: “The record and EPA’s explanations to the court make it clear that using standard methodology, EPA could not produce statistically significant results with its selected studies. Analysis conducted with a .05 significance level and 95% confidence level included relative risks of 1. Accordingly, these results did not confirm EPA’s controversial a priori hypothesis. In order to confirm its hypothesis, EPA maintained its standard significance level but lowered the confidence interval to 90%. This allowed EPA to confirm its hypothesis by finding a relative risk of 1.19, albeit a very weak association. EPA’s conduct raises several concerns besides whether a relative risk of 1.19 is credible evidence supporting a Group A classification. First, with such a weak showing, if even a fraction of Plaintiffs’ allegations regarding study selection or methodology is true, EPA cannot show a statistically significant association between ETS and lung cancer.”

Fact: The following is another direct quote from Judge Osteen’s decision: “In this case, EPA publicly committed to a conclusion before research had begun; excluded industry by violating the Act’s procedural requirements; adjusted established procedure and scientific norms to validate the Agency’s public conclusion, and aggressively utilized the Act’s authority to disseminate findings to establish a de facto regulatory scheme intended to restrict Plaintiffs, products and to influence public opinion. In conducting the ETS Risk Assessment, disregarded information and made findings on selective information; did not disseminate significant epidemiologic information; deviated from its Risk Assessment Guidelines; failed to disclose important findings and reasoning; and left significant questions without answers. EPA’s conduct left substantial holes in the administrative record. While so doing, produced limited evidence, then claimed the weight of the Agency’s research evidence demonstrated ETS causes cancer. Gathering all relevant information, researching, and disseminating findings were subordinate to EPA’s demonstrating ETS a Group A carcinogen.”

Most of the media ignored the judge’s decision.

When confronted with this decision, many anti-tobacco activists and organizations harp on the fact that Judge Osteen lives in South Carolina. The obvious implication is that he’s influenced by the tobacco industry in his state. It may also be an appeal to the “stupid southerner” stereotype.

Fact: Judge Osteen has a history of siding with the government on tobacco cases.

Fact: In 1997 Judge Osteen ruled the FDA had the authority to regulate tobacco.

So much for his alleged bias.

Fact: Although this study has been thoroughly debunked by science and legally vacated by a federal judge, it is still regularly quoted by government agencies, charity organizations and the anti-smoking movement as if it were legitimate.

Fact: Anyone referring to EPA classifying ETS as a Class A carcinogen is referring to this study.

Opinion: You should seriously question the credibility of anyone who refers to this study, or any of the conclusions that it reached, as if they were facts. That includes everyone who refers to the EPA’s ruling that ETS is a Class A Carcinogen. Once they do, every subsequent statement they make should be considered highly suspicious until it is thoroughly verified.

Fact: Most of the information on this page was gleaned from Judge Osteen’s 92 page decision, the CRS report, and the EPA’s study.

Fact: The EPA fought to have Osteen’s decision overturned on technical grounds. They succeeded in 2002 on the narrowest of technicalities. The fourth circuit court of appeals ruled that because the report was not an official policy document Osteen’s court did not have jurisdiction.

Fact: In their appeal the EPA did not answer a single criticism on the 92 page report, nor challenge a single fact put forth by Judge Osteen. Not one.

You are strongly encouraged to read these documents yourself. You can find the judge’s entire decision here. The CRS report is available here. The EPA report over six hundred pages long, and we recommend you order a hard copy. It is available to US citizens at no charge. Call (800) 438-4318 and ask for document EPA/600/6-90/006F. The title of the report is “Respiratory Health Effects of Passive Smoking: Lung Cancer and Other Disorders.” It is also available as on line as a pdf file. Note: this is a four megabyte file.

Fact: Carol Browner, the former head of the EPA, still insists that this study is valid!

More Information

The Smokers Club Inc. has complied a wealth of articles about this study and other shenanigans by the EPA.

Enough facts, already. Now for some opinions:

Sidney Zion, in the New York Daily News

The LA Times on the EPA’s agenda

Kudos go to Dave Hitt for putting together a very comprehensive and informative site!  My intention for actually copying all of Dave’s work (with his permission) of the EPA is for an upcoming article I’m writing about Smoker’s being taxed for the new Children’s Health Care Program (SCHIP).

Bald Beauty of the Day

My World Came Crashing Down Around Me Last Night

Last night I thought my world was coming to an end! I was working on a new website for someone and I made a HUGE error when transferring all the files. I actually sent the latest version of Wordpress to THE ALOPECIAN MUSE by accident. I still have an older version, so the new version wiped everything out. I couldn’t believe I did that. I was mortified. When was the last time I backed up my site? UH…when my very good friend (who, by the way saved my ass last night!) showed me how to back it up.

In a panic and while not thinking clearly I called her crying. I thought I had completely erased four months of work. Poof, it was gone. Well, being the Master Jedi that she is, she was able to poke around and she found the data base. I didn’t wipe it all out.

I tried to sleep but I couldn’t. I tried to do anything to get my mind off the fact that I totally fucked it all up, but it just gnawed at my brain like a rabid, blood thirsty rodent. My stomach was in knots and I felt like I was going to throw up. I got back online last night and there was my friend making everything better. I had all kinds of shit running through my head last night. I wanted to just give it all up and say screw it, I’m no good at this stuff! (That wouldn’t be far from the truth either).

I feel the picture on the left best describes my state of mind last night. I felt shocked, naked, exposed and totally alone. That is until I talked to my Master Jedi! She definitely calmed me down and brought a lot of encouragement to me. I am so glad to have her in my life.

Today I felt that all was right in my world again, and to sweeten it just a little more, my husband called this afternoon to tell me that we hit our first goal amount of money to get him home! I want to thank everyone who gifted us with your generous donations. We are still around $1,000.00 short, but as of today we are half-way there. Tomorrow he will be putting his notice in and he will be here in New Mexico with us in four to five weeks…for good!

Bald Beauty of the Day

The Perpetual Witching Hour

The Witching Hour is a phrase often used in superstitious circles when demons, witches or evil spirits lurk about and are at the height of their malevolent power. Usually this is the time after 12:00am. Spooky right? Well, the Witching Hour can also mean something else. Something far more sinister, paralyzing and can leave YOU feeling like a demon, witch or a malevolent being. This witching hour is usually only contained within a short period of time and it can happen at any time day or night. But what brings on the Witching hour? Busyness!

Just “TRY” to concentrate and get something substantial and important done and along comes this creature, soft, warm, smirking and pint sized to make your life a living hell! I have been living in a perpetual witching hour for the last three days. It hasn’t stopped. I’ll explain a little of how the witching hour festers, then throbs and finally pops like a massive zit all oozy and bloody!

Here it goes:

For you parents, have you ever tried to take an important call and two minutes into your conversation little Festus Jr. comes over and starts pulling on your pants, crying, screaming and nothing you do can calm him down…EXCEPT get off the phone? You end the call, hang up and little Festus decides to smile and walk away? Did he want anything? NO! You go to see how he is, and he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you. He’s playing with his trucks, spinning around wildly and having fun. So you sneak back into the kitchen to get on the phone because of how urgent the call was. You pick up the phone and start to dial and guess who comes barreling into the room screaming like someone was trying to murder him? You guessed it, FESTUS! You scratch your head still being patient, end your second attempt to make that call and as soon as you put that phone on the hook, Festus doesn’t have a care in the world. This of course continues. There is no rhyme or reason for it because it makes no sense what so ever! Does Festus want attention? Hmm, it’s hard to say because when you give him attention he treats you like you don’t even exist.

Here are some other short examples of when the Witching Hour is administered by our power-packed half pints:

• Making a meal
• Balancing the checkbook
• Shopping for food
• Doing laundry
• Making love (just try that one, and it’s enough to turn you off right away!)
• When your friends or family are over
• During the child’s birthday party (”Its my party and I’ll cry if I want to)
• After they are in bed and you sit down to watch your favorite show
• TRYING TO WORK FROM HOME!

What is that? Why is it that children instinctively know when you need to get something important done and that’s when the world is coming to an end for them? They were fine just two seconds ago and now they are caught up in a panicky whirlwind of emotion that only stops when you do NOTHING!

This is what my life for the last three days has been like. I have both self-imposed deadlines as well as external deadlines to meet, and it seems like as soon as I think its quiet, my little cutie pie Simmi is off into a screaming session that only ends when I decide to do nothing at all. Its not a fluke either. When I was creating this child’s website, the screaming was incessant. I always work on articles or other things that are important for me to get done online at night and if I don’t get it finished, I save my work, check it during her nap time and publish. Easy right? But what happens when you have something pressing to do, like LEARN A NEW MANAGEMENT SYSTEM? Huh? HUH? Ever since I made a commitment to this new business venture and began the process of learning about Drupal this child has been hell on wheels!

She is intuitively tuned into me. Usually she has a nice long nap during the day and I can do a few things I need to do online. Uh…not lately. No nap. Just jumping in her crib and CHEWING the wood on her crib! Yes, she has totally macked up her beautiful crib. Last week she had a splinter in her gums because she was gnawing on the wood. She has been manic over the last three days, just running around in circles and running up and down the hall.

I didn’t start downloading the system and get to business until 10:00pm last night when she finally conked out. I was up till 3:30am jamming as much in as I could. Today I did nothing. But she was still manic. If I had hair, I’d be pulling it out right about now. My world is in this constant state of flux recently. I was hoping to be refreshed and ready to go, but instead I have a screaming child on my hands and some health problems again.

When Dom came home for those four days, he brought with him some of his clothing. This clothing smelled musty. I don’t think its a coincidence that now I am having a flare up again. The same thing happened when I received the package from Dom with the “Big Girl Panties.” My son and I became really sick. When we opened that box the smell of mold wafted through the air. I haven’t had pain in my joints like I have right now since I left Maryland. I refuse to go back on steroids or anti-inflammatory medication and the only thing that seems to shut off my auto-immune response is being on a raw diet.

Can you tell I have a lot on my plate right now?

I’m Traveling Into Uncharted Territories

I’m traveling into uncharted territories which has me scared shitless and at the same time thrilled as though I’m going on some sort of sky diving trip. So what is this adventure that I am going on? Well, it is the mysterious world of Drupal. Drupal has me intrigued, perplexed and it leaves me coming back like a junky strung out on heroin. I can not even effectively put into words what Drupal is, except that it is an extremely powerful management system for creating dynamic websites.

I have hung around the forum at www.drupal.org and watch a lot of their tutorials, but I feel like some sort of voyeur getting all turned on by the power of this system as they talk about different features and functions. Can you tell that I’m getting addicted, yet I haven’t even sampled the product yet! Why does the thought of this system intrigue me so? I have extremely limited amount of knowledge in computers and forget about knowing anything that has to do with html, PHP or any kind of code.

The reason I’m considering going this route is a few business opportunities I have cooking on the back burner. I need this kind of management system to handle the type of work I’m venturing into. But I feel like I’ll be opening a huge can of worms or get in over my head delving into this. What if I can’t do it? OOO, but I want to try! If anyone reading this post has knowledge or experience in Drupal, leave a comment for me and tell me what your experience has been. After I finish this post and a post over on Simmi’s site, I’m going to be downloading all the necessary stuff needed to run Drupal and start building a site. I don’t know what is going to happen, but I should at least give it a shot.

Four months ago I would have never imagined that I would enjoy the art of web design. I got this cool template maker and that is how I was introduced to Drupal. I created a Drupal template and really got hooked. I also created a Wordpress template as well. I fell in love with all the details and options…but I want more. I want to learn how to bend a template to my will and make it do things I want.

Here is a screen shot of a Wordpress template that I made:

And here is a Drupal template that I made:

Now mind you these two templates are only my first bash at creating something but I really like doing it. Maybe if I get good at it, I will consider doing some sort of work helping to create templates for other people. I have become a template whore. Should I be concerned?

Bald Beauty of the Day

American Airlines Sucks the Big One

March 18th was a nerve racking for me. I was putting my two children on a plane alone for the first time to go and see their dad for spring break. When I first inquired about them traveling with American Airlines, I was helped by a very nice woman who assured me that the kids at no time would be left alone from the time I left them until they arrived and were released to their father’s care. I asked the woman on the phone to hold the amount quoted to me until the next day. Well, the next day rolls around and now I’m on the phone with someone else and ready to purchase the tickets. I give my confirmation number to him and he tells me that it will be more than what was quoted. An argument ensues and now I’m pissed off that they are not honoring the price that was quoted less than 24 hours earlier. It seems that the woman who reserved the flight for us the day before forgot to add $100 for the trip returning to Albuquerque. I begin to explain to the man that the woman who reserved the flight for us and quoted us the price should honor the amount. He counters my statement with “You are just trying to get away with not paying the unaccompanied minor fee for the trip home. You should have known by the simple math that something wasn’t right.” He continues to berate me, explaining that “usually one parent pays for the fee upon departure and the other parent pays for the fee on the way back.” My mouth was dropped open at that point. I NEVER explained my situation or that they were going to meet their father. That never even came up. He just assumed it. My kids could have been flying to see their grandparents or other family members, yet he chose to treat me like I was some desperate single mother trying to trick American Airlines into paying for one of the fees. What was I going to do? I needed to book the flight so I bent over and let American Airlines give it to me!

But it doesn’t end there. The day came to take them to the airport and unfortunately for some reason I thought the flight was at 7:30am. We were pretty much ready to go and I just needed to get the itinerary and flight information and we would be off, when I discovered that we might actually be late for the flight. We quickly got everything loaded in the car and headed to the airport. We parked and rushed to the check-in. We still had about ten minutes to the cut off time (you must be checked in 30 minutes before departure). I was so happy we made it. We got to the counter and I said to the woman “We made it!” and she asked which flight. I told her and she said “No problem, you have time.” At that point she excused herself for a moment, came back and said “This man will help you as soon as he is done.” I looked at her perplexed but I still felt confident everything would be ok. The man to the right of her was chattering away with a couple he knew and they were talking about cookies. I stood there wondering why he wasn’t doing his job. Then finally he begins to check the kids in when he says, “Oh, I’m sorry but you will have to take the next flight out because you missed the cut off time.” I told him I was here ten minutes before the cut off and he said that when we got to him it was past the cut off time. Gee, I wonder why? He was so busy talking about those cookies that he didn’t even notice that we were standing there. But what the fuck was up with the original woman who told me that I still had time? What was she doing the whole time??? She was checking in other people!

I continue to argue with the man and he says that he had a flight leaving at 1:30pm and that wouldn’t arrive in Philly until 9:30pm. I told him that this was unacceptable and he proceeded to tell me that it would be ANOTHER $150.00 for catching that flight! I felt like I was being scammed! I told him AGAIN that I was here before the cut off and that his co-worker referred us to him and that we have been waiting all this time. He asked her and she told him that was actually what happened because she didn’t know how to do an Unaccompanied Minor check-in. So he didn’t charge us the $150.00 but said that we STILL would have to take the 1:30pm flight because the next flight out was booked up. I told him absolutely not, and to get them on the flight that was leaving in exactly 20 minutes from now. He did it and off we ran to the security check point. I was allowed to bring my kids all the way to the gate and see them off, and the attendant gave me a pass to go. Because Simmi was also with us and because of her age she did not need a pass…but this particular security officer did not know that. She held us up for over 10 minutes calling her supervisor. I told her that a pass for the baby was not necessary and she didn’t believe me. Her supervisor came and he told her the same damn thing! So now we had to fight our way through the crowd and go through to their gate. We ran all the way and as we got to gate the plane was pulling away. We missed the flight anyway. I explained to the woman at the desk the whole story and she looked at the tickets and says “Oh, these tickets are for the flight at 1:30pm.” HUH? The man never switched them back and booked us for that 1:30pm flight after all! I started getting even more aggravated and she got the kids on the very next flight leaving at 8:00am. This is the same exact flight that the other man said was sold out.

I watched as my kids boarded the plane and I waited till it left the runway to leave. They were so excited and thrilled to be traveling alone. When they got to Philly safely I felt like I could finally rest. From now on, I will be calling all other airlines to schedule flights for my children. I NEVER want to put them on one of American Airlines planes again. I feel they didn’t honor the amount quoted, then proceeded to insult and accuse me, and finally tried to milk another $150.00 out of me due to their incompetence. They have lost my respect and my patronage.

Bald Beauty of the Day

He Came Home to See Us

On March 18th two major things happened. We were up bright and early to take Noah and Shoshie to the airport seeing them off for spring break and later on that day, Dom was set to arrive in Albuquerque coming home until March 22nd.

Dom decided not to shave the whole time that we were apart and it was quite a surprise to see him with a full beard. He looked like a rugged mountain man, sexy, desirable and ready to pounce! I didn’t know what Simmi would do when she saw him with the beard, but all she did was look into those caring, kind and penetrating eyes…see his smile and hear his voice and she lit up smiling and squealing. Yes, Poppie was home! I have been away from the computer and took time off from my work to concentrate only on us. It was such an emotionally charged four days, filled with laughter, tears, excitement, playtime and fun. We let the world fade away and made the most of our time together.

I wish I had more time with him and I hope soon that he will be home for good. It was quite an eye opener for him to see our home and what we live with. Its one thing for me to tell him that we are living bare boned, but it is quite another to see it in the flesh. Walking into the house, he slowly scanned each room and I could see the concern in his eyes. The reality of our life and what we have (and don’t have) was overwhelming to witness. We have dishes, cookware, silverware, a table and chairs. There is a couch and chair in the living room and a small TV, three mattresses that sit on the floor and boxes that pose as tables. There are no curtains or blinds on any windows, and we each have enough clothes to get through one week. Looking at our unfinished floor was probably the most difficult to view. When we ripped the carpet up, there was just concrete there. The concrete is partially painted from the last tenants and there is glue stuck to the floor where they glued down the foam that goes under a carpet. Its not pretty, I’ll give you that much! In an effort to cover up the bare concrete and protect us from the chemicals and dust that come up through the pores of the concrete, I put down a very heavy duty plastic tarp. This tarp is BLACK like a garbage bag and sealed at the middle seam with duct tape. The sides are stapled to the wall trim. It is perhaps the ugliest thing that we have to look at every day. At this point we can not afford to do any further work on the house because we need to save money to get Dom home here for good. He will have to drive cross country to get here with his car and the last time he did that in December (bringing my car here) it cost well over $700.00 in gas, food and lodging. But I have to say that with him being here, regardless of what we have or don’t have, our house felt like home. He completes it all and fills the house with warmth and love. With him here I didn’t even notice our missing curtains or forced minimalist style.

Saying goodbye was hard, but it was hardest on Simmi. She does understand what “bye bye” means, and as soon as she heard him say that she began to cry…and then scream. It was a hurt sounding cry, deep and sorrowful. When he gets back to Maryland he is going to try to put together a benefit concert to raise money for him to get home and for things we need here in the house. I thought it was a really cool idea, but I often have doubts about how much we can raise. Its a tough time for everyone in this economy.

If anyone would like to help us out, there is a donation button via Paypal on my side bar. Any amount would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

Bald Beauty of the Day

I’m Trying to Get My Groove Back

For the last two and a half weeks I have felt disjointed, lost, thrown off schedule and totally absent minded. Its like I am wandering in a brain fog. Have you ever had a great schedule where you were able to get things done and felt like you actually accomplished something, even if you didn’t get everything you wanted done? Not too long ago I felt that way! Ever since we came down with colds I feel like I haven’t been able to recoup my “groove.” I’m trying to get my groove back and I’m finding it very difficult. Not just that, but before I caught a cold, I felt like I had to work really hard to get everything done and just let go of the things I couldn’t complete for the day.

I spent a good portion of November and December of last year coming up with my writing roster for 2009. I had everything planned out, and I knew exactly what I was going to write about and when I was going to post it. I even gave myself a little wiggle room just in case something happened that was more pressing or if I had to take time off from my writing. But now I look at the plans I made and none of it looks so good to me anymore! I made my plans for 2009 in 2008 when I was still living in Maryland and I think its time to get a new groove on.

Back then, Dom was with us every day and life always flowed better. I have to restructure my time since he isn’t here. I was beating myself up wondering why it seemed like I could never get everything done, and then I realized that the most supportive person in my life is 2,000 miles away from me. Also, in the last week and a half I have created two new websites; one for Simmi and one for my husband. I’ll be sure to put up a link to his site as soon as we are ready…we’re still adding some things to it.

So I need a new groove. It’s been close to three weeks since I have been able to just sit and read my favorite blogs or even done anything just for me. Tomorrow Dom will be coming home until Sunday and it will be a great time for us to sit down together and talk about a good direction for me to go in. I definitely need some guidance in that department lately, because I feel like I am running on auto-pilot. I need to figure out how I can efficiently create time between my work online, my family life, and my “me” time. I need that.

Simmi can be very unpredictable, the kids need to do things, I need to write, I need to consider business opportunities that I have been putting off and haven’t come to a decision about, the house still needs more done to it and I need to start thinking about my life as I more closely consider going to the raw food lifestyle. That is a dynamic shift and one that takes a fair amount of time each day as well. My struggle with raw foods right now is the fact that Simmi has multiple food allergies, and I can not bring nuts, legumes or seeds into the house until I know for sure that she isn’t allergic to them. If a person is allergic to peanuts, chances are they are also allergic to tree nuts and other legumes. If she is in fact allergic to other legumes and tree nuts, that cuts a significant amount of protein out of my diet and that could spell disaster. On a raw food diet, a lot of protein is not necessary, but having some is important. If she is allergic, I can have none. I’m trying to work all that out as well. And last but not least is our beautiful back yard. I haven’t even begun to plan out what we will plant as far as fruit trees, veggies or flower. I fear that I will miss the growing season this year. I know that I will still be able to plant fruit trees, but I was really looking forward to also having a nice little garden.

I am hoping to feel totally refreshed by Monday and hopefully armed with a new plan and direction for my complex and totally blessed life.

Bald Beauty of the Day

My Youngest Daughter is Growing Up!

Should I be worried that my THIRTEEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER looks like this? Oh…My…God! My child is growing up before my very eyes. This is my youngest daughter Shoshannah and like I just said, she is only 13 years old. She turns 14 in July and next year she can get her drivers permit. She took this picture of herself today on her cell phone and all giddy-like scrambles into my room and says “Mom wanna see a new picture I took?” My jaw dropped. I’m sorry but this pubescent girl looks like a woman! She had another growth spurt and now she is taller than me too.

Shoshannah is a pure joy– always. She is sweetness and light. I’m gonna save all the mushy stuff though for her 14th birthday and do to her what I did to Noah on this blog! If you haven’t read my post “My Son Turns 12 Today”, just click the link.

She plays the cello, works her ass off in school, she’s a great friend and an awesome daughter. But right now as I write this I’m distracted by this photograph of her! My god where did the time go? It seems like yesterday that she was only two years old with her blankie in one hand and her thumb in her mouth. She was my little shadow, following me around all over the house. She was never demanding, she would just quitely come up beside me where ever I was and suck that little thumb of hers. Sometimes I didn’t even know she was there! I could take her anywhere too. She never wandered off without me and if I just looked down for a moment, I was greeted with the largest dark chocolate eyes I have ever seen. She is altogether lovely! Not much has changed all these years. Well she stopped sucking her thumb of course, but she still loves to be near me. We have a very beautiful relationship and I cherish her and thank God for her everyday. Shoshie adores Simone and watches over her after school for me. She is the only one other than Dom and I that can handle her. Noah is great with Simmi too, don’t get me wrong, but Shoshie has taken the reins when it comes to caring for her when I need to do things. It has been great training for her, because she wants to start a babysitting job or any job! A job??? Geez, can’t you just stay my little girl for a while longer?

I’m going to miss them when they leave for spring break next week and it will be even harder when they are away for most of the summer.

Craigslist: Trash or Treasure Part II

It’s time once again to wow you with OOO’s and AAHHH’s in this month’s installment of “Craigslist: Trash or Treasure.” For anyone not familiar with my little Craigslist review, you can check out my other post here. Ok, so I’m scanning through Craigslist trying to get my “funny on” because my life right now is really in the shitter and nothing cheers me up (or pisses me off) more than looking at what other people are trying to sell. Oh yes, I have seen some beauties out there and I am always amazed at how they think their crap is worth its weight in gold. Now to spare the sellers unnecessary ridicule, I have left off their contact information, but I do list EXACTLY what they say in the ad.

Here we go:

Great Condition, Couch, Loveseat, and Chair, Mediterranian Style-Gold Velvet with wood. Firm cushions-comfortable. Couch is 93″, Loveseat is 59″. Only asking $555.00 for the set. For details, please respond to this ad or call (***) ***-****. Thanks for looking.

Would you purchase this set for $555.00? What the hell is this person smoking? You can see the dust on the couch wood and there is a general “haze” when viewing the pictures. I thought I was gonna throw up looking at that carpet too. How much do you think this set is worth? I don’t give a rats ass how much they originally paid for it, because there are furniture clearance centers that are selling brand new furniture for $555.00!

Here is an example of a set that you can get BRAND NEW!!!

Magic Camel 2-PC Sofa & Loveseat Package

$579.99

Compare at $1,468.00 Save $888.01

This one is REALLY nice and in great condition too! Check it out…

Coffee Table set - $1500

Coffee Table set…perfect condition….1 year old.
Set includes…
2 square coffee tables
2 rectangle coffee tables
bar table…w/ 2 bar stools
2 matching lamps
$1,500 OBO

Wow what a steal huh? The set is nice but would you spend $1,500.00 on some coffee tables, a breakfast bar and a couple of lamps not even shown?

DUNBAR ROSEWOOD CONFERENCE TABLE & 10 CHairs AMAZING - $4000 ALL original Dunbar rosewood conference table and 10 chairs , all marked with gold Dunbar tag, very nice for formal dining room table. Excellent condition made in 1978, original cost over $15000 Also other mid century and danish modern furniture and decor! Still have 15 bertoia side chairs for sale ! Call for details and site location!

These people have BALLS bigger than Sarah Palin’s if they think they are gonna sell a table and chairs for $4,000.00!

Dining Room Table, Chairs, Hutch-$2,500
Solid wood dining room table, 6 chairs, hutch and table leaf extension. Sold new for $7000. Whitewash color. High quality and in good condition

Are these people for real? That set looks like something you could buy at a flee market for around $250.00 and that’s pushing it!

LAWN MOWER** - $195

SELF PROPELLED WITH BAG

OK, now do my eyes deceive me or are those spoke wheels? They look like the kind of wheels that go on one of those really old tricycles! How old is this thing anyway?

I’m working on a “special” Craigslist…the naughty edition! Look for this extra special “Craigslist:Trash or Treasure…The Naughty Edition” next month!

Thanks for Reading.

Bald Beauty of the Day

South China Sea Intrigue

A few days ago I heard an interesting story on CNN about how the USNS Impeccable was poking around the South China sea, when all the sudden some Chinese ships started to pursue them telling them to leave the area.

The Pentagon claims that the Chinese ships were harassing the Impeccable and even said that they have “increasingly aggressive conduct.”

So what did the Chinese do exactly? Well, according to the Pentagon, two Chinese vessels were in close proximity to the Impeccable, waving their flag and telling the Impeccable to leave the area. (That sounds so aggressive huh?)

What happened next is what caught my attention. It seems that as five Chinese vessels came closer, they also started to throw pieces of wood into the water. OOO!!!!!!! Wood was thrown in the water! AND because the Impeccable didn’t quite know what the intentions of the Chinese vessels were and contending that it was an aggressive move on their part, the Impeccable decided to take some fire hoses and spray the Chinese vessels with water. I started cracking up when I heard this next part…get this…the Chinese crew members decided to strip down to their underwear while being sprayed with the fire hoses! Oh-My-God! This is aggressive? This is dangerous? To whom? You know what…if the Chinese were in international water somewhere near a protected area of the United States, you better bet your ass that we would have our military out there trying to get them away from our protected interests. Why do we feel that it is ok to take surveillance ships near the coasts of other countries and collect data, and if that country finds it threatening and decides to warn us to leave, we find that aggressive?

I am amused, I guess, by the thought of Chinese men stripping down to their skivvies and dancing around in the water being sprayed at them. Maybe there is more to this story than we are being told, but on the surface it looks like China made it pretty clear that they wanted our people to leave the area and we got pissed off. It also makes me wonder if we are too arrogant as a military power. Is it essential that we be over there sticking our equipment where it doesn’t belong? Yet, if another country were to do that to us we would have our panties all up in a bunch? Do we need to lighten up a little? Or is the U.S. correct in it’s assumptions that China is increasingly aggressive towards us over there?

I would LOVE to see a video of all that transpired! You know they must have a copy of it over at the Navy!

Bald Beauty of the Day

My Kids Will be Traveling Alone For the First Time!

Next week my two youngin’s will be leaving to visit their dad on the East Coast. Shoshie is 13 and Noah is 12. It will be the first time EVER that they will be traveling alone by plane to go anywhere. Just to share how neurotic I am about my kids and the airport, I drove them crazy constantly looking for them when we were on our way out to New Mexico. Every two seconds I was looking up, looking around, scanning people in the crowd, taking mental notes of those who stood in close proximity to my children. I’m a basket case! Forget when Noah has to go to the bathroom at the airport…I make him go into the ladies bathroom (which he hates) and he either has to go in with me or with Shoshie.

I have always kept a very watchful eye over my kids when we travelled anywhere, and now that they will be traveling alone, I’m FREAKED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They will be en route for 7 1/2 hours and have to get on two different airplanes. Three hours for the first flight, an hour wait time between flights and then finally boarding the second plane to complete the journey. I had all these things running through my mind over the last month as I knew I would have to purchase the tickets for them to fly; plane crashes, flight delays for hours, perverts in the bathrooms, stalkers trailing them from one gate to another, weirdos on the plane trying to touch them in the next seat…you name it, and I have that scenario playing in my head. Are my fears unfounded? Uh, NO! There have been young girls molested on airplanes, boys touched in bathrooms, strangers giving the “look” to small children. Some of which I have witnessed myself as I was traveling with my kids. Some weirdos don’t seem to care that an adult is present with the child…so what do you do when you aren’t there to protect or shield them? At one point on our way to New Mexico, we were in between flights and since the kids were hungry, we stopped in a pizza shop. I was sitting at the table with Simmi while Shoshie and Noah went up to get some pizza. At the next table over from us, was a man sitting there ogling Shoshie as she stood in line. She was unaware that this man was looking at her in a manner that was totally unacceptable. I don’t stand for that shit, especially since he didn’t care that I was sitting right there. In that moment, this pissed off bald mama stood to her feet, and walked over to the man and stood there very angry just staring at him. I stood there until he turned around in his seat and stopped looking at her. I am sure that it was unnerving to have a furious bald chick that was nearly unhinged staring him down. I said not one word to him…I just stood there staring at him. He got the point. He never looked at her again. By the time Shoshie turned around, I was already back in my seat and she had no idea what had just transpired. These are the things I think about as my kids travel alone.

Noah and Shoshie are great kids, with good heads on their shoulders. I have full confidence in their ability to travel and I know that they are so excited about going. Since they are under the age of 16, I have to pay an unaccompanied minor fee. This fee covers the cost of one of the flight crew members assisting the kids from one terminal to another so they can get on their next flight. A month ago, I didn’t know about this cool feature. I couldn’t imagine the two of them flying into an airport and having to find the next terminal alone, so I waited till I had enough money just in case I needed to take a flight with them to the halfway point and then turn around and come home. There was no way I was going to allow them to just “find their way” to the next plane. Luckily American Airlines assured me that they will not be left alone at anytime during the whole flight. The cost of this fee is around $150.00 and it covers everything round trip.

They are so excited to go back to the east coast and see their dad and his fiancee and all their friends (credit for the picture of the two of them goes to their future mom! Is that picture of them awesome or what?). They are counting down the days right now, making plans and lists of all the stuff they are gonna do. They are so excited…and of course, I am a wreck! My stomach turns every time they mention the flight. I can’t help it, but I know I will be fine once they have landed and they are safely delivered into the arms of their father.

Bald Beauty of the Day

I’m Not Well

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then hopefully the photo on the left will be sufficient to express how I feel (and probably look) right now. I have a cold. I have been on and off line over the last few days and I haven’t posted anything new. I can’t even think clearly at the moment.

My son Noah was the first to get sick and for the last week he has been home, sacked out on the couch. I could feel the cold coming on, but just kept pushing myself until a few days ago. I definitely need more rest, and hopefully Simmi and Shoshie won’t get what I have.

I usually make my rounds in the blogosphere, and I haven’t even been able to read new things that my favorite bloggers have been putting out. Its funny how bloggers have their own sort of community and love to keep up with what others are up to. It always makes the day a little bit brighter reading something humorous, or deep or just plain crazy. I read a LOT of blogs everyday on top of other things that I do online and everything has come to a standstill for me.

Here is a very small list of some of the sites I love to frequent…stop by and read a post for me and maybe even leave a comment!

The Authoring Auctioneer

Mommy With a Penis

Sassy Bitch Society

Naked in Eden

The Melindaville Blog

Revellian

Diary of a Heretic

Studio 307

Click Here to Continue

My Life Coach Tara

That’s my small list…I do have more that I have listed on my “Great Links” page.

I hope to be back to my old self in the next few days. Thanks for reading!

Bald Beauty of the Day

Take Me to Your Leader

Who is the leader of the Republican party? Is it fat cat Rush Limbaugh, king of the conservative talk show radio waves, or is it Michael Steel?

I don’t really have an opinion about Rush Limbaugh because personally all he is to me is an entertainer like Howard Stern. Yes, I said Howard Stern because he is the other shock jock for which so many are loyal fans and listeners. Can you imagine if Democrats started calling Howard Stern the leader of the Democratic party? It is absurd to me that some would say that he is the leader of the Republican party…he is just another entertainer tickling the ears of those who think he is “oh so powerful.” Is he powerful? Does he energize the base? Well, what do we mean when we say “energize the base?” Is it the “base of the Republican party” or is it just “the base?.” Here is the ‘other’ definition of “base” in the online dictionary:

base ² (bs)

Bald Beauty of the Day

Good News and Big Girl Panties

OK, I have some really good news to report. A few days ago when I was talking to my man, he told me he spoke to our landlady and she will NOT be selling the house. He had a heart to heart with her, and by the end of the conversation she said that she would continue to rent to us. (I don’t know why I’m putting this picture of myself up on the left!)

I’m very relieved that we won’t have to look for another place to live. I had so many big plans for this house, so my mind is shifted back to completing the large task at hand–painting, repairing and replacing the floors, and designing the kids rooms. We don’t mind making the investment as long as we can stay in the house for at least five years.

I just thought I would share that with all of you. I’m giving a big cyber hug (((HUG))) to all those who have kept us in their thoughts and prayers through this past week. I felt like it was the week from hell.

Now, the title of this piece is “Good News and Big Girl Panties” so by now you are probably wondering about those big girl panties right?

Well…

A few weeks ago my husband and his mom decided to go shopping for some clothes for me and kids. They wanted to send a nice package filled with lots of goodies and much needed clothing. Dom asked about the sizes of the kids and I, and I gave him all the information. Now, over the last two months I have been busy getting clothing needed for the kids and I didn’t bother to buy anything for myself. Basically I have one pair of jeans, a few white tee-shirts, about five pairs of underwear and some socks…oh, and a jacket. But that’s it. A really nice lady here in NM donated some yoga pants and shirts to me, and those are great for around the house, but I can’t wear them out. Anyway, Dom was excited to get me some new clothes and I usually trust his judgment…he has great taste in clothing and shoes.

Last week the long awaited package arrived, and filled of excitement, I ripped open the box. His mom lovingly wrapped each our things and put tags on everything (it was like Christmas all over again). The kids were in school at that time, so I just opened the stuff for Simmi and I. Her stuff was so cute, and mine…uh, well, I stood there smiling and trying to process what I had just received! The first thing I grabbed were two pairs of jeans. I unfold them and WOW! BELL BOTTOM JEANS! I don’t mind a boot cut, but I started to chuckle at these things. In my mind, I started to see myself as the late Latin Diva Selena. Damn the bottom of them were wide! No problem though, because I could just cut the bottoms and make carpi’s out of them. Then I take out the next thing; polyester beige grandma pants with a complete elastic waist! Oh my, now I’m laughing. There were also tee-shirts which were very nice but what took the cake for me was the underwear. I told him not to get anything too sexy since he was out with his mom, but that I wanted something nice. I didn’t pay attention to the size of these things because I was looking at the picture on the cover and wondered what the hell he was thinking even getting this kind! Here is a picture I took of the package:

I’m wondering if he even looked at the STYLE of underwear that he chose for me! I would never wear underwear like that. Maybe he was busy looking at the hot chick wearing those underwear since she is the only one in the universe that could pull off such feat and still look good!

Since I was really in need of underwear (you can never have too many) I decided to open up the package and see exactly what they looked like. I took a picture of that too, just so you could see just how huge these things are! He must have gotten the wrong size for me, because when I opened them up, I never bothered to see what size they were….UH…..size HUMONGOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

I put this fantastic pair of panties on top of Simmi’s stroller so you could see the sheer magnitude of these things! I can cover the stroller with them!

Just for shits and giggles I tried them on. Let-me-tell-you, that when I say these things were big on me, I mean HUGE. They literally came up past my ribcage right under my boobs! I even went over to the mirror just to see what I looked like in them. I nearly pissed in those things laughing so hard!

So it got me to wondering if he wasn’t really thinking about the chick on the cover of the underwear box, but instead if he was thinking of the two hot ladies that he told me he hooked up with in a moment of weakness, because to tell you the truth, he must have been thinking of them when he bought me those Big Girl Panties! Here he is with his “lady friends.” I was suspicious after seeing those panties, so I hired a private detective to see what Dom was up to. I got the picture on the right in the mail from the private eye.

Tonight Dom called me to tell me that he is coming home to see us in two weeks and that was such a great surprise. It has been almost two months since I last saw him. I have an awesome night planned for him when he gets here! Wine, candle light, figs and olives, and of course all I will be wearing are my new big girl panties!

I’ve Launched a New Site

I’ve launched a new site called “Loving Simone”. There is so much to her care and to her story that I thought it would be better to have a blog site dedicated to Simmi.

The picture on the left of the owl is a part of the theme that I purchased for her site, but I really don’t know much at all about what I need to do to customize the template. In a few months when I have some extra cash I’ll get someone to do it for me.

The template that I have is just darling, and I was really disappointed that I would have to launch the site without it. In the mean time I downloaded a nice clean template that will stay in place until I can have someone work on the Wisdom Tree template. Here is a screen shot of what “Loving Simone” looks like right now:

I have reposted a few of the articles that I wrote about Simmi onto Loving Simone, and now that her site is launched, I will be adding new content about her there with smaller updates about how she is doing on Alopecian Muse.

Loving Simone will go into detail about all things Simmi! Videos, photos, recipes for food allergic children, her medical care and much more. Make sure to stop by and say hi!

Here is a screen shot of what Simmi’s site will eventually look like: