At Death’s Door

My deepest condolences go out to the family of the 34 year old man and to the young pregnant woman who lost her baby due to being knocked down when the doors opened that Black Friday morning at a Walmart on Long Island, NY. Would anyone involved in the stampede like to come forward and claim responsibility for the lives that were snuffed out because of some hot sale at Walmart? What have we come to as a society? How absolutely mind boggling to watch and absorb the footage of people being trampled under foot just to buy stuff that’s on sale!

Did anyone involved in the trampling of these people even consider that they were stepping on human beings as their hearts raced in a rush to get that plasma TV and new DVDs? As they stepped on head and heart of human flesh, injuring and ultimately killing, did they decide “It was all worth it! I will go home and never give it a second thought, and when Christmas rolls around, I will wrap my gifts with love and lie to my children telling them some fat man in a red suit brought it to them because they were ‘nice.” Well I guess someone in the family should be “nice” because if you were involved in the deaths of an innocent man and an unborn child, what will you tell your children later on? It wasn’t you? You never stepped on any one’s skull or killed them in a mad rush to get that discounted item? Wow, I didn’t know that Walmart was worth killing for! I knew that they made a killing in sales around the world, and they kill small business owner’s livelihoods by making it impossible to compete, but stampede sales?

I’m curious to know something…

Did the authorities close the doors and take statements from every person involved in the stampede? Funny, it looked to me like they were just allowed to go and shop LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED! Why were they allowed to buy anything from the store that day? HUH? They should all be ashamed of themselves for this. Has anyone involved lost sleep over this? It has taken me since Friday to process all of this, and I still don’t have the proper words to say how I feel about the stampede at Deaths Door.

Update: Correction needs to be made concerning the pregnant woman…news sources now tell us that the pregnant woman did not lose her baby.

How Far is Too Far When it Comes to Hair Loss Products?

How far would you go to make your hair loss problems go away? We all dream of that perfect product or “new amazing potion” that will give us back our hair. But what happens when that dream turns into a nightmare? Where does a person turn to get the answers they need to make informed and intelligent decisions concerning the future of their hair loss?

There are “Hair Loss Preditors” out there that seek to devour vulnerable and scared hair loss sufferers. They promise them the world, and in the end the pain and disillusionment makes it even more difficult to move forward with their lives in productive and healthy ways.

So what kind of products am I talking about? Ah, did you have a product or procedure in mind? Do you have questions or concerns about the ingredients of things that could be harmful to your body? Are you confused by what your doctors have told you about your hair loss and he/she just looked at you saying “Take some Rogaine and call me in the morning!”

Where do you turn to get solid advice about the products or procedures you are thinking of trying?

A new forum has been launched by Spencer Kobren, the founder of The American Hair Loss Association and The Bald Truth. The forum titled Bald Truth Talk http://www.baldtruthtalk.com is aimed to create a safe online experience for men and women to get real information and support concerning hair loss, hair transplants, treatments, products that do not work and more. At Bald Truth Talk, you can talk with fellow hair loss sufferers and also doctors who can help sift through the products and procedures so that you can make an informed decision.

At the forum you won’t be bombarded by sales ads or preditory products.

The following quote is the mission statement of The American Hair Loss Association, and I believe it sums up all that the Bald Truth Talk Forum is about:

“The American Hair Loss Association is committed to educating and improving the lives of all those affected by hair loss. It is our goal to create public awareness of this devastating disease of the spirit, and to legitimize hair loss of all forms in the eyes of our medical community, the media and society as a whole.

We recognize that hair loss is not only a complex medical condition, but one that affects every aspect of the hair loss sufferer’s life. For this reason we are dedicated to providing resources and support to those who are actively researching effective treatments and to those who are committed to fighting this emotionally devastating disorder.”

So, before you buy that “new amazing comb,” the “perfect lightening in a bottle”, the new pill that promises that you will grow copious amounts of hair, or need a direction on where to find a good hair transplant surgeon, stop by Bald Truth Talk and become a member of the forum. You won’t regret it!

I’m in Love With Jackson Pollock

I have always loved the work of Jackson Pollock, but when I came across this untitled piece of his, I just sat here in amazement by the depth of emotion that was evoked as I viewed it. Looking at this beautiful piece, I wonder how other women suffering with hair loss will interpret it? Tell me your thoughts…

Growing Wild and Free

My daughter Hannah turned eighteen this past June, and as most curious teenagers who have just spread their wings, she decided to fly for the first time out of our nest!

Hannah is my powerhouse Poetess with a soul as deep as the ocean. Her poetry knows no bounds…from the calm and breeziness of a delightful few short lines, to a storm of emotion that is waiting to capsize her readers. She uses raw imagery and allows the reader to jump into her deepest thoughts and get lost there.

She is also a singer, song writer and plays different instruments. Her music and lyrics are her own, and she has developed a style that can captivate those who hear her, drawing them deep into a world of emotion, beauty and timelessness! I remember listening to her play from her room, practicing, perfecting and then practicing some more, but nothing prepared me for hearing her live with her band! All I can say is “amazing.” I am so very proud of the person that she is becoming, and I look forward to hearing all about her adventures across the United States as she meets new people, stays in new communities and creates new poetry and music. She came to visit us this past week carrying her life in a jumbo backpack…I swear the backpack was so big it could fit a small Mexican in it! I’m hoping to get some video of her playing guitar and singing to Simmi this week and post it to the blog. She’s hoping to settle down for a while in San Francisco, and then finally she would like to make it all the way to India. I have my reservations about her traveling there, but being that she is eighteen, there is little I can do to stop her from going.

The following photos where taken by her friend Molly:

Thanksgiving Blessings

This Thanksgiving I am giving a special thanks to my grand baby Simone. We call her Simmi for short. She is such a joy and pleasure to have in our lives. She is 17 months old, and although this is her second Thanksgiving, it is the first one that she will be actively participating in. My husband, Simone and I will be having an intimate holiday dinner since my other children will be away this Thanksgiving.

• These are my Thanksgiving Blessings:
• I am thankful that our children are all healthy, strong and happy!
• I am thankful for the most loving and supportive husband a woman could ever ask for.
• I am thankful my health is holding on for just a while longer.
• I am thankful we have found a house in NM that we can transition to.
• I am thankful for my soul sister who has been my rock, my best friend and the most supportive woman I have ever known! (I love you girl!)
• I am so thankful to have Simmi in our lives and that she has been entrusted to our care!

So what do two and half people do for Thanksgiving? Simmi has multiple food allergies and has difficulty eating food in general, so it is down to just me and my husband. I have a few things in mind that I think will be a good fit for a Thanksgiving feast…

1. Cornish Game Hens cooked in a Blood Orange and Rosemary marinade
2. Hens are stuffed with an Apricot-Almond Stuffing
3. Roasted root veggies in a sesame-olive oil mix and sprinkled with sesame seeds
4. Steamed and pan-seared asparagus
5. Fresh cranberry-blood orange sauce
6. Two Pumpkin tarts and Two apple tarts
7. Lots of love and fun in the kitchen preparing everything with my husband who loves to cook!

 

I think that will cover Thanksgiving for two and a half people!

Have a very blessed and safe Thanksgiving! Many will be traveling to see loved ones that they only see once a year…please drive safe.

Some will be talking with quirky friends and relatives that make you remember why you only see them once or twice a year…keep your wits about you, it’s only one day! LOL

Don’t forget to cook your turkey’s completely! Many people end up in the E.R. with food poisoning because the turkey or the stuffing were not cooked fully!

What are you thankful for this holiday season?

My Long Journey Back to the Raw Lifestyle

For a few years I was “Ravishingly Raw” bringing myself back from the brink of ruin physically. I was one of those unlucky people that was struck with Lupus. My sister and I both got struck with it in the same month of the same year only hers was severe and mine was mild in comparison. I was also unlucky enough for the ANA blood test to show a very low presence of anything auto-immune, but it had the Rheumatologist baffled. I had tremors, then lost some of my ability to walk and I was so embarrassed by the fact that as a result I was also incontinent. I was tested for everything under the sun neurological, but in the end I was given a diagnoses of fibromyalgia and Lupus. The doctor explained to me that in some people, Lupus can actually not show up on a blood test, but because I also had a family history of it, that he gave me a diagnosis of both. It was quite strange having both, and he explained both of them to me, and differences between the two different disorders. I was given an extremely high dose of prednisone, and I was told that the prednisone was for the Lupus and it would not help with the fibromyalgia. So double the pain, until the day when my legs started getting numb and feeling really heavy. Then I didn’t feel any pain at all in them. I also had a hard time moving them…the pain was gone, but so was all feeling from the waist down.

After a year of dealing with the medications and the fact that there was no cure for either disorder, I decided to slowly transition to a raw food diet. I started by taking out things that I really didn’t care for anyway, and then started removing other kinds of cooked and processed foods from my diet.

During the transition to the raw diet, I didn’t notice any thing changing in my body or feel any better. But! when I finally took the leap to a raw food diet, within six weeks I lost sixty pounds and felt better than I ever felt in long time. I maintained it for another few years until I started getting tremors again. Being raw, I sent the Lupus into remission for a few years. At the time I didn’t know there were other “triggers” for bringing Lupus out of remission. When my hair started falling out, I thought it was due to my diet and I felt defeated thinking that maybe the raw foods had nothing to do with me getting better and that my diet was making me malnourished. But that wasn’t the case! I wouldn’t find out for another year and a half that I had become very allergic to mold. (That is a good story for another time.) It was at that time that the doctor told me that it was actually the mold allergy that is a trigger for my Lupus. He wanted to pump me full of steroids again and I let him, much to my horror, that course of prednisone brought on drug induced Cushings Disease. Fun huh?

So now that I am moving to New Mexico I am planning on transitioning back to a raw lifestyle. What that will look like is any one’s guess! It is supposed to be very dry in NM (not the place I dreamed of being, by the way!) and if there is no more humidity and mold spores to occupy my airspace, I may be able to take a bash at being raw again.

This blog entry was an introductory of sorts to bring everyone up to speed on what my journey has been to this point, and the rest of my postings will be my journey forward…my struggles and my victories. I will also be posting recipes and my “take” on the raw food lifestyle.

I’m Addicted to True Blood!

What the hell is it about True Blood that I love so much? I remember the first time I saw this HBO show, and for some reason I just couldn’t turn it off. It’s provocative, I’ll give you that, but I think there’s more to this show than meets the eye.

My husband and I watched the first episode and although we both thought it was a little corney, it sucked us in and now we are hooked on it. I have never been a big vampire fan and yet here I am drawn every Sunday night to a new episode, wondering what the heck is gonna happen next! Maybe I’ve been “glamored.” For those of you who have never seen the show, in the True Blood world, to be “glamored” is to be hypnotized by a vampire.

I think I’m drawn to the social undertones of the series since it touches on so many common themes in our world today. Discrimination, cultural barriers, misconceptions and stereotypes seem to be a common thread weaved throughout this fictitious world, and yet there are so many parallels to those very things in our world.

True Blood creates an interesting story line…the following quote is from http://www.hbo.com/trueblood/

“Thanks to a Japanese scientist’s invention of synthetic blood, vampires have progressed from legendarymonsters to fellow citizens overnight. And while humans have been safely removed from the menu, many remain apprehensive about these creatures “coming out of the coffin.” Religious leaders and government officials around the world have chosen their sides, but in the small Louisiana town of Bon Temps, the jury is still out.

Local waitress Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), however, knows how it feels to be an outcast. “Cursed” with the ability to listen in on people’s thoughts, she’s also open-minded about the integration of vampires — particularly when it comes to Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer), a handsome 173-year-old living up the road. But as Sookie is drawn into a series of mysteries surrounding Bill’s arrival in Bon Temps, that tolerance will be put to the test.

A sexy, scary new drama from ‘Six Feet Under’ creator Alan Ball, ‘True Blood’ delves into the meticulously-crafted world of novelist Charlaine Harris. Described by the Emmy®-winning Ball as “popcorn for smart people” and featuring a colorful cast of local misfits, ‘True Blood’ promises an intense ride.” 

Another interesting spin that I found to be very thought provoking was how in this strange world where vampires and humans are supposed to co-exist, the tables seem to turn…it turns out that humans can actually become addicted to vampire blood. LOL How strange is that? I found that to be the most creative thing so far. In the True Blood world, tasting even a drop of vampire blood is like taking a psychotropic drug mixed with the drug Ecstasy. It becomes so addictive that humans would hunt and drain a vampire’s blood to get their “fix”, ultimately killing the vampire.

In the final analysis, I can’t say that I am a fan of vampires, BUT, I have become a fan of Alan Ball and Charlaine Harris for taking me on a wild ride and sparking up a new creative spin on an age old story. I have really enjoyed watching the whole series and look forward to seeing the season finale this Sunday night.

I wonder what next season’s series will be like?

Does Hair Make Us Women?

If we lose our hair do we lose the essence of what it is to be a woman? What exactly makes us female? Is it our hair and breasts or is there more? Does having a well defined rack make us more attractive and does gorgeous thick hair complete the package? It’s funny how for so long that’s what I thought. I believed my femininity was tied to my hair, and when I started losing that hair, I thought I was unfeminine, unattractive, undesirable and no longer bore the distinguishing features of a woman. It’s a dark place to dwell…because it changed me. We start to REALLY lose the essence of being a woman when we lose our humanity, our compassion, our mercy, our love and concern for others and love for ourselves. We forget who we are inside because we are so busy concentrating on our physical beauty. It can bring out the worst in us as we begin to envy every man, woman and child with a fuller and more healthy head of hair than ours. We look in the mirror for our beauty and it seems as though it is slipping away…but is it because of how our hair looks? Couldn’t it be that we don’t recognize ourselves anymore because we have forgotten what being feminine is really all about? Have I lost that winsome quality that others find so appealing? Have I lost that glimmer of excitement and zest for life that my children have always loved about me and my husband always thought was such a turn on? Am I no longer concerned about the feelings and needs of those around me because I think my beauty has faded and I no longer consider another person’s worth because I myself feel worthless?

What if in the quest for the perfect head of hair, I erase the essence of myself until all that is left is darkness where my eyes used to dwell and all distinguishable remnants of my personality are gone, forever replaced by a stark shadow of what I used to be? Shall I dwell on what was, what I looked like and how I used to be, or will I begin to reassess my life, and breathe new life into my being? What does it truly mean to be feminine? I found it interesting when I looked up the word “feminine” in the online dictionary, that I couldn’t find a single definition with hair as a governing factor (or even mentioned) of what it means to be feminine.

Femininity comes from within and it springs forth softening the world around us. So if we shave our heads do we become less feminine? Do we begin to look more like a man? I don’t believe we do, yet that is exactly what most women fear when they know they are going bald. I know I thought that way! I thought I would look ridiculous, unfeminine and maybe a little androgynous. But no matter how you slice it, we are women and can not look like a man if we tried!

An Alopecian woman can and does break the mold of what the world often perceives as flawless beauty and femininity. In the modeling world, where icons of beauty are made, it is the woman with a distinct unique “flaw” that actually makes her more beautiful. Whether it is a large nose, huge mole, outrageous lips, slightly crooked teeth or strangely provocative eyes, it’s these outward characteristics that can draw others in…and it is the same for the Alopecian woman. Her outward beauty is just the doorway…enter into her world, and she will give you a glimpse of wild beauty, seductive allure, brilliant wit, an open heart and she will love you like no one has ever loved you before. Not because she is desperate, but because of her strength. She is a treasure beyond compare, and she will keep you coming back for more. Her heart is tender, and her arms are always open. This is flawless beauty and femininity and it is the perfection of an Alopecian woman.

My Nurturing Husband

We all have our ups and downs when it comes to the struggles of being an Alopecian, and in my life, at the deepest core, there still is the deep root of being identified according to my hair. Although I came out of the “Alopecian Closet”, there are still parts of me hiding in there. It has taken five years for me to get where I am, and it will probably take another five before I have finally cleaned out the last remaining bits still left in that closet.

I didn’t come out of that place on my own though. It was my husband who knocked on the door five years ago, and asked me how long I would be in there. Full of gentleness and compassion, with conviction and concern, he didn’t push the issue…always staying close to that door, hoping that I would open it to him and share what I was doing inside. I would crack the door open just a little, and I could see his concern and love for me; but then I would close it again.

He wanted to nurture me. His desire was to care for me and love me through and through. During those times I opened up to him, he would lavish me with the uttmost respect and kindness, wanting to help heal the wounds of self-inflicted self hatred and loathing. He wanted to bathe me in his love and committment to me…but I had come willingly. I’m glad I did.

His favorite thing to do is to “bic my dome.” He finds it as enjoyable to bic me just the same as when he used to wash my long thick locs of hair. He loves taking his time, setting everything up, slathering me in shaving cream, and bic’n me with pride. I love feeling his warm hands full of shaving cream, his soft deep voice telling me his longings and secrets and his full heart ready to burst wide open because I “let him in.”

Is it vanity for a man to discuss his hair loss?

The dictionary defines vanity as a “lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness; something worthless, trivial or pointless,” so this definition begs the question…Is it vanity for a man to discuss his hair loss?

Why is it that in our society men are taught that they shouldn’t care about how they look because “they’re men.” Yet there are tons of commerials and advertisements showing pictures of men who “get the girl” or “get that new job” or are more successful because they have a full head of hair. BUT they aren’t supposed to talk about it!

Lets go back to the word vanity and break down the definition for a moment to see if it is really vain for a man to care about his hair loss…

• A lack of real value: Does hair have value to a man? Hum? YES! It is something they are born with and come to be physically identified by, unique and special in his own right.
• Hollowness: Is it empty or hollow for a man to be concerned about his appearance? Women are often concerned not only about their own appearance but also a potential mate! So is it hollow for men to be concerned about their appearance? Hell No! Attraction is important so lets not kid ourselves about it.
• Something Worthless: Is it worthless for men to express their feelings of being scared, confused and lost when it comes to hair loss? That is a big NO in my opinion. When men can openly talk about the issues they face and can get good positive support for hair loss solutions, they begin to move in a new direction emotionally and physically. They begin to set new goals, reach for their dreams and pursue potential love interests.
• Trivial or Pointless: Is talking about hair loss trivial? I beg to differ! Reaching out to a good support network or forum of hair specialists and hair loss advocates can actually help rebuild self esteem, self worth and a sense of dignity back into the lives of men, and there is nothing trivial or pointless about that.

There are so many good options available for men who are losing their hair and my hope is that more men reach out and begin to talk about the issues that concern them. One of the greatest resources I know of for men is The Bald Truth with Spencer Kobren. His radio show broadcasts Sunday nights at 8:00pm EST on XM Extreme Talk 152 and for great support and contact with reputable doctors who can answer questions about hair restoration and for talking with other hair loss sufferers, the Bald Truth Talk forum is where it’s at!

My Beautiful Son

Our family has been through the ringer over the last five years. My family and I had just move to PA from Michigan, and we had to try to fit the contents of an 8 bedroom house into a house that only had three bedrooms. Most of the stuff ended up downstairs in the garage. When we first moved in, we could smell a strong chemical smell in the basement, but we never asked the landlord what the smell was…as long as it didn’t smell like a musty basement we were happy to be there. Over the course of that year, my children were always sick, I got a nasty flare up of Lupus, I was partially paralysed again and I had just gotten married. What the heck was my new husband thinking? LOL
Here he was, married for the first time to a woman with four children, and now he was taking care of her because she could hardly walk, blew up like a balloon because of the steroids, and on top of it all, was going bald…not a very good start to a new life.
It was a hard year, and just as quickly as we moved in, the landlord decided that he was going to sell the house, and we had to leave. We found a new place, and started moving stuff out of the house…but when we got to the garage, we noticed that there was a very thick layer of mold all over our beautiful furniture. I had no idea that I was allergic to mold, so we did our best to clean it all off, and we moved out.

Two weeks after moving in to our new home, I stopped breathing. There was no warning signs of pneumonia, no fever, or even coughing. I just stopped breathing. I was rushed to intensive care where my new husband was told to say what he needed to say to me because I probably wouldn’t make it to see tomorrow. My husband and children were terrified. I did make it through the night, but it was a fight! I was determined to live.
They treated me with really strong antibiotics, and a week later, I was back at home. When I started feeling a little better, I went out to our new garage where we put all the stuff from the previous house, and all of the sudden I stopped breathing again. I was rushed back to the hospital, and we asked if it could have to do with the mold that was all over our furniture. The doctor said to get rid of all the stuff, and that I was probably allergic to the mold.
How could I do that to my family? We didn’t listen, and I went through another year of reoccurring pneumonia. My husband finally said we have to get rid of all our things and move. The new house was contaminated, and if I wanted to live to see my family another day, we needed to get rid of it all.

We had a big garage sale, and sold or gave away almost everything we owned. Over that next year, my children, my husband and me slept on blowup mattresses. My husband was constantly cleaning everything because when I went to the allergist, we found out that I was allergic to a whole host of things…not just mold.

I felt so bad for my children though. They lovingly sold all their belongings. Books, toys, treasured keepsakes, and things that they had for a long time. We had kept most of our clothes and a few other items, but that was it.
We have been slowly purchasing new things, and I say slowly. We started with the kids, so that they wouldn’t have to sleep on blow up mattresses anymore, and my husband and I put what we wanted or needed aside.
We are still recovering.

The other day, my son says “mom, when was the last time you went shopping for clothes or something nice for yourself?” I asked him why he was asking that question, because he knows what we have been through and why my husband and I don’t purchase things for ourselves. I told him there are bigger priorities than me buying clothing right now (even though my husband wanted to deck me out with a new look just last weekend) and that I had turned down my husband’s offer to get me some new things.
My kids have always been “savers”. They have their own bank accounts, and when someone gives money for their birthday or if they got their allowance they always put it in the bank. He told me that he wanted to take me shopping. I refused, and wanted to drop the subject. I loved his gesture, but I didn’t want him spending his money on me. I rejected a love offering. He pushed harder, (He’s 11 years old) and told me how much he loved me and wanted to get me out of those old worn out clothes. I started to cry. I realized that he wasn’t going to give in, and I finally agreed.

He chose to forget about the past and what he had to lose and instead chose to embrace the present and move forward to a better future. He wanted to give to me from his heart. I can’t imagine how it might have hurt him if I kept refusing his gesture to me. He has always thought long and hard and scrimped and saved to purchase things for me for my birthday and holiday’s…Gold, Jade and rubies…but the most precious gift I have ever received from him was his absolutely stunning heart! What a treasure. What a gift.
What a beautiful Son.

Do Men and Women Feel the Same Way About Hair Loss?

Do men and women struggle with the same issues emotionally when it comes to hair loss? I believe the they do. I asked my husband how he feels since he started to lose his hair, and this glazed over, pale look on his face said it all. Although I have been dealing with hair loss for the last five years, the thought that he could also now be dealing with his own loss has him stuck like a deer in the head lights.

My husband started to develop bald patches in his eyebrows, a quarter sized bald patch in his chest hair, and the hair on his head has started to shed quite a bit. My two younger children have experienced similar hair loss and we believe that they are also affected by the mold that we have in the house we are currently renting.

I wanted to understand what he was feeling about losing his hair, and it was so profoundly deep that he could barely bring himself to talk about it. He has accepted my hair loss and he has embraced loving me as an Alopecian woman, but will he be able to accept himself if his hair loss does not resolve itself? Will he begin to move away from me emotionally and bury his pain deep inside where I can not reach him? His hair is absolutely stunning and creates a softness to his face and features. It is natural for him to feel pain and anguish over losing it but my hope is that he will continue to stay open to me emotionally so that he can move forward with his life continuing to reach toward his goals, dreams and desires. Hair loss has a way of stopping these thing dead in their tracks for a time and the emotionally paralysing affects can bring us into a place of isolation, loneliness and despair.

I believe that men feel just as much torment over losing their hair as women do, it is after all a part of the human condition.

How Long Will This Go On?

When women first start to notice that they are losing their hair, they feel an overwhelming rush of fear come over them. There are so many questions that unfortunately remain unanswered while in pursuit of finding the root cause of our hair loss. We can become overwhelmed, isolated, withdrawn and completely undone as we begin to watch our hair fall on the floor, on our clothing, caught in the shower drain and stuck in the hair brush. We dread taking a shower because of the massive amount of hair that seems to shed following a shower or a bath. What used to be a pleasurable and relaxing experience turns to anxiety and fear and the horrid anticipation of the next massive shed. Our lives can come undone as we begin to think we are petty and vain for caring about how our hair is missing. We hear comments from those around us (and even from ourselves at times) stating, “It’s only hair!” but it is so much more than that. If it wasn’t such a big deal to lose our hair, then why all the commercials and advertisements for hair care products? Hair is beautiful, and it is a part of who we are physically, so when it departs from us, it can leave us feeling unattractive, depressed, fearful of intimacy, and obsessed about finding out how to get it back. When I became a member of The Woman’s Hair Loss Project Network, one of the questions most frequently asked by others was “How long will this go on? How long will I continue to lose my hair and what can I do to get it back?” When new women join our community which I lovingly refer to as “The Great Sisterhood,” they are first struck by the amount of support and tenderness from our many members. Each woman has her own hair loss story, but in the end, regardless of how much or how little hair you have lost the emotional toll and feelings are always the same.

We are all growing and changing…each and everyday. I never knew that I could have good female friends and have them love and care about me. It moves us into a better place. Each woman on the Network is my teacher and for that I am so grateful. I cherish each one and love to watch them grow and step out of the shadows of their pain and aguish.
Hairloss may have brought us together, but what we learn along the way is that there has been a part of us that was empty….a longing unmet that is filled to over flowing because we reach out to others and we also reach in to ourselves. We cry tears of pain and aguish, but over time, those tears turn into joyful tears of appreciation and amazement…because we are seen, cherished, loved and respected right where we are. For the first time in our lives, we don’t have to put up a front or perform….we are just free to be who we are inside.

The Women’s Hair Loss Project Network becomes the catalyst to rediscovering who we are as we reflect on other women’s thoughts and emotions poured out all over their blogs and in their comments. We see so clearly that we have so much more than hair loss in common with them and it brings a sense of balance and peace to our hearts and lives. It moves us in a new direction that reaches out to those who are hurting because we have been there and it gives those in the throws of panic and despair hope for renewed strength.

Other members of the Network understand when new members say ”I’m not as strong as you, and I know I will never be that strong”, because we were there in that place once. New ladies that sign up feel hopeless and lost, and we whisper softly and tenderly to them helping to restore their lost dignity, self confidence and self worth. We are so much more than our hair and being among these ladies teaches us that on such a profound level.

When we become more confident and gather more self worth in our being, we sit in amazement and wonder what changed? How is it that we became so very different from the first day we joined? The answer is that we dug down deep into our souls and we mustered up new strength we never knew we had, and while we were digging we saw all the faces of those who were just like us. We realize we aren’t crazy, we aren’t neurotic, and we aren’t worthless…we realize our own humanity and we cry with tears of joy that we are understood.

It is truly a beautiful thing to behold, and yet we are not impervious to falling into the mire again. We find that even though we may wallow for a time in the mire because it is a strange and old familiar feeling, our time in that place becomes less and less. Our strength also gives us the ability to step into the mire of another woman and yet not be sullied by its effects. We sit with her there and listen to her story. Sometimes we sit in silence and other times we speak tenderly and compassionately to her, all the while, reflecting on our own journey when we felt the same exact way.

We are a sisterhood of hope and change…of life and love…and of courage and strength.

My Kids Want a Dog

I have always been a “dog person” but I really didn’t have a choice in the matter because I am one of those lucky people that has multiple allergies. You name it and I am probably allergic to it; and among this laundry list of allergies is a severe allergy to cats. While I have always secretly dreamed of sharing my home with a feline, I do have the option of having a dog. But what kind? Over the years I have had many different kinds dogs, from mutts to pure breeds…and I’m not sure what I would choose if I decided to once more go ahead and make a commitment to share my home with a dog.

My kids bring up the idea in different ways through out the week and they are relentless in their quest to make mom “see the light.” They talk about the days when we had our beautiful Bichon and how sweet and good natured he was. They reminisce about some of his most endearing qualities and remind me of just how much I loved him. He was a pure delight, always lifting our spirits when we were down and making us laugh with his quirky little habits. But the more they talk about him, the more I could never replace him with another Bichon. He was just too special to me and it breaks my heart to have to tell them no. Maybe I am warming up once again to the idea of having another dog, but again…what kind? What kind of dog do you share your home with when you lived with and loved the most special dog in the world? I feel that all dogs pale in comparison to him and in a way, think that maybe I would just spend my time comparing the new pup and feeling disappointed if he didn’t measure up to the legend that I have created in my mind about Chuka.

Why I Love the City That Never Sleeps!

New York City has always held me captivated by its unique flavor and amazing people. The “city that never sleeps” has a way of creeping into my flesh and make me want to come back for more.

The sights, smells, people, food, night life, and incredible architecture have a hold over me! I love NYC at night, especially in the Fall when the air is crisp and everyone is lightly bundled up. I can smell Autumn wafting through the streets as I detect the faint sent of chestnuts roasting. Although I have never tried a roasted chestnut, NYC would not be the same to me without this familiar smell. Looking around, I see so many different kinds of people all going about their business rushing to their next appointment or taking a stroll down the Avenue peering in shop windows and enjoying company with loved ones. Night life is bustling with a million things to do from sitting in a cafe to seeing live music. You can do just about anything in the city that never sleeps, and then again, you can just relax and sit back enjoying the gorgeous architecture. I love how NYC can blend our modern time with an era gone by and some how it always looks good.

I have so many fond memories of NYC. My father used to take me into the city when I was a young girl and we used to go to the Museum of Art to sketch sculptures and works of art featured in the museum. My dad would have me feverishly sketch people as they sat on a bench pondering the beauty of a particular piece of art work.

My fondest memories are of times that I have spent with friends in the city. Friends add a special touch that makes NY even more precious to me. This week once again I will be traveling into NYC to meet up with a very close and special friend of mine. I feel so incredibly blessed to have her in my life and that she is coming to celebrate my 40th birthday with me…I will be sure to post photos and maybe some video footage of our adventures in the greatest city in the world!

I can’t wait!

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